by Valia Lind
"Come on, Princess," I say, spitting out the blood pooling in my mouth. "You know this isn't you. You would never let someone else control you like this. This is not what your parents died for."
My words penetrate her cold exterior and she flies at me with a scream of rage. Her body connects with mine and we rolls across the gravel, her hands reaching for my neck. I smack my forehead into her own and she stumbles just enough for me to push her off me. She rolls over, stopping on her hands and knees and I kick at her, but she's still faster. Even dazed, she's more in control than I am. She grabs my foot just in time, yanking it from under me and I'm flat on my back, all air gone from my body. The pain is fast and intense and it takes me a second to clear my mind. But she's already on top of me.
She straddles me, her fist connecting with my face and I push myself up on my elbows to roll her under me. After the second try, I pin her with my body, words tumbling from my bloodied mouth.
"There's so much beauty in you, Tasia. So much good. Don't let them win. Don't let Kallos use you. Avenge your parents. Avenge your brother. Don't be used by them. Please, Princess. Come back to me."
She struggles through my words, screaming for me to let her go, but she doesn't kick me off. It's as if a part of her is listening to me and I push for more.
"Calen needs you, Princess. Uncle Freddie needs you. Blake needs you." She screams again, thrashing under me like a feral dog, but I keep hold on her with everything I got. "I need you. Do you hear me, Princess? I need you to come back to me. Tasia, I need you--"
With a final scream, she kicks me straight off her and across the ground. I skid to a stop five feet from her, my ribs in pain, my face torn and bloody. Wiping at the blood dripping into my eyes, I watch her as she gets to her feet, and picks up her knife. Slowly, she walks over to where I lay and I think this is the end.
As I stare into her blank eyes, everything I have ever loved about her is gone. There's no recognition, no warmth. There's no confusion or pain. There's nothing and at that moment, I feel like giving up.
Everything that I've done, every step I've taken to rid the world of the corporation that destroys so many, seems like a waste of time, if I can't save the one person on this planet I've come to love. If she kills me now, will it make a difference for her? Will it bring her back? Am I willing to make that sacrifice?
Yes.
The knife gleams in the moonlight as she stops in front of me, and I'm ready. If this is what it takes to save her, then I'm ready. But she doesn't strike. I see her grip her knife tighter, I see the tension coursing through her body.
Then, with a scream that shatters the night, she turns and runs away. I watch her go, as she disappears into the shadows and I smile through the pain.
There's still hope.
* * *
A second later, Calen slides into view as he crouches beside me.
"Are you okay?" he asks, clearly assessing the situation and seeing that I'm not. I don't answer right away. "Can you walk?"
I check myself over the best I can, noticing Calen cringe at my bloodied skin, before nodding.
"Yeah," I grunt, getting to a sitting position. Calen helps me stand and the exercise takes more out of me than I thought it would. Without having to ask, Calen wraps my arm over his shoulder, holding me at an upright position. Thankfully, nothing seems to be broken as I take the first step. For a minute, we walk silently, neither one of us wanting to bring up the elephant in the room.
"She's really gone, isn't she?" Calen asks finally, as we slowly make our way to where we parked the car.
I'm trying to focus on our surroundings, to make sure I'm not missing an ambush, but it's much harder to concentrate with the pain rushing through my body. Calen isn't trained for this, he won't notice the danger until it's right in our faces. Tasia ran but who knows exactly what's going on in her mind. She could just as well circle around and finish what she started. To be honest, Tasia did a much bigger number on me than I'll admit out loud, so I'll be no good in a fight. Calen's words pull my attention back to him.
There's so much sadness in his question, so much hopelessness. This is his family and the crushing weight of failure pushes down on me once again.
"Not completely," I finally reply, thinking back to the glimmer of hope I saw in her. When she didn't stab that knife through my heart, I saw the spark.
"You believe it?" the hope is back in Calen's voice and it's the same hope I'm determined to keep.
"I have to."
We don't say anything after that, both of us holding on to the sliver of light in the darkness that has become our lives. We get to the car in the next minute and Calen carefully deposits me in the passenger seat. Right now, any position is too painful for words, but I still don't think anything is broken. I would be able to tell. Tasia without a conscience is beyond a brute of a creature and she could've killed me without a second thought. The fact that she had one gives me some sort of a comfort.
As Calen gets into the driver's seat, his wrist watch beeps with an incoming call.
"Uncle, everything okay?" he asks, after pushing the talk button on the dashboard.
"I've been trying to reach you for the past half hour. Your transmission cut out. What happened?"
Calen and I exchange a look, neither one of us want to be the one to give him the news. But our silence is enough of an answer for him anyway.
"You saw her?" Freddie asks, a tremble in his voice.
"Yes," it's Calen who finally replies, after a long pause. "She...Logan is hurt."
"Get back here as fast as you can." Freddie doesn't wait for a response or an explanation. "Use one of the secondary routes." Without another word, he ends the call, leaving us once again in silence. Calen turns his tablet back on and pulls up one of the pre-planned routines to the safe house.
"You should try and get some rest," he says, starting the engine. There's nothing more I would love to do right now than to close my eyes and sleep, but I need to stay awake.
"Just because Tasia left me alive doesn't mean she left." I push the words out, hoping they sound less jumbled than I hear through the noise in my head. "I'll keep an eye out too."
Calen nods, accepting my words at face value. There's no way I could relax right now, not after seeing her.
Two months of nothing. Of hoping and wishing and trying to catch a glimpse of her, with no use. Then, she shows up out of nowhere, crushing us all over again.
I can't help but think of the way she looked at me. Those beautiful eyes dark and cold, as she stared down at me, fully ready to kill me. Then, something pulled her back. She gained control, even for that one millisecond. I have to hold on to that. I have to.
"How are we looking?" Calen asks, after driving in silence for about thirty minutes. It's a battle to make myself focus on our surroundings fully, checking for any telltale sign of a tail or a tracker, but it's better than diving in, head first, into misery.
"I think we're clear. But make a full turn around before you get on the route. Just in case."
He nods, his brow down in concentration and I think of what he must be thinking through all of this. His sister was kidnapped and experimented on. She's still barely recovering, barely remembers who he is. Then, there's Tasia. She's his sister in every sense of the word. He's been pulled into a battle he was never supposed to be a part of. Much like Tasia was, all those years ago.
I never really had a choice. Not when my father decided I was going to be his greatest asset the moment I learned how to talk. After putting everything in retrospect, I can't complain too much. All of his training, all of his planning, brought me to Tasia. Even now, I wouldn't trade that for anything.
But we do need a plan. I have 48 hours to find out the place of the next shipment. While I don't want to give the general any pointers in the right direction, I have to find the information for myself.
Next time we meet, and there will be a next time, I will be ready for Tasia. We won't be leaving her behind again. She
needs our help, even if she doesn't realize it. I'm not about to leave her alone.
5.
A dark hallway stretches out in front of you. There's a light at the end, but no matter how fast you walk, you can't reach it.
As you frantically look around, the walls begin to move. They move slowly, but steadily, and the feeling of claustrophobia sets in. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comes. Dark liquid drips from the ceiling, as if the walls themselves are beginning to bleed. Pushing against the fear, you try to move, but suddenly, your feet won't obey you.
Turning around, you realize you are not alone. He's here. He's actually here.
The space between you seems to disappear and the one person you've been wanting to see more than anything, is right within your reach. As you fight to wiggle yourself from the position you are in, you reach out and realize he's not there at all. He's behind a glass, in another world and you are still all alone.
The tears of frustration start falling, the pain inside of you too much to bear. You want to be free. You want to break away. You want to live.
No sooner do the thoughts form in your mind, does the excruciating agony begin. Glancing down, you find your legs are now firmly stretched into the ground, streams of roots growing out of your skin and into the soil. You are no longer just stuck, you are now planted.
The world around you grows darker as the pain rises to incomprehensible levels.
You scream into the void, but no sound is heard.
You scream as the darkness covers you in it's arms.
LOGAN
It takes us twice as long to make it back to the safe house. Since I am so out of it, Calen has to pull double duty and make sure we're not followed. Once again, for someone who hasn't really been trained for this, his crash course in espionage has become very useful.
Freddie comes out to meet us as soon as we pull up. In the half a day we've been gone, I swear his face has aged another year. Instantly, I know it has nothing to do with Tasia or myself, because I can hear the screams as the garage door closes behind him.
"Uncle?" Calen stops in his tracks, before racing towards the house. Freddie doesn't bother stopping him, knowing it will be pointless.
"She started screaming about two hours ago. I don't...I can't figure out what's wrong."
He looks so tired, it seems like he's the one who's just taken a beating. Stumbling toward the house, I try and keep myself upright. My muscles are stiff from sitting in the car and the dried blood pulls against my skin. The smell of my wounds mingles with the sweat, making my head spin as fresh air hits my lungs. Gripping the side of the car, I hope I can get inside the house without passing out again.
"Come on," Freddie says, reaching out to support me, but he's uncertain of where to touch me to make sure he doesn't make things worse. I grasp his elbow, keeping my weight off him as much as I can, but my strength is basically gone at this point.
We make it back to the door just as Calen pulls it open. Now he's the one reaching for me and half carrying me into the house. Blake's angry screams fill the space around us and I try not to cringe at the loud sound. Calen deposits me on the couch in the front room, then stands there, looking helpless.
Freddie hands me a bottle of water and I accept it gratefully. No one knows what to do or say, as the echoes of Blake's screams bounce off the walls. They're different than the last time she had an episode. This time the screams seem more angry than in pain.
"Do you want to sedate her?" I finally ask, knowing it's the last thing either one of them wants to do but also understanding the necessity of it. The glance that passes between them says it all. I struggle to my feet, because if this is the only thing I can do for them, I'll do it.
"Logan, no," Freddie says, rushing over to steady me. I lean on him for a second, before straightening up.
"I'll do it. It's okay. You don't have to." I reply, knowing full well they won't let me just go in there alone.
I don't see Calen move, but suddenly he's beside me, the kit already in his hands. "It's my responsibility, Logan." He doesn't wait for a response, but heads back toward the rooms. Freddie and I exchange a look, before he reaches over to support me, as we follow.
The sound grows louder and I realize Freddie managed to move her to the 'clean' room somehow. When we first rescued Blake, she couldn't remember who we were or what she stood for. She was completely under control by Kallos' drug and it took weeks to get her to start remembering. However, those days were not spent in quiet contemplation. She's had episodes before, so we cleaned out one of the smaller rooms, leaving only a pillow and some blankets. It used to have a bed, but she's a smart one and managed to take it apart and use it as a weapon. If nothing else, Freddie sure trained his niece well.
"Calen," I call out, as the other boy reaches for the door. "Let me talk to her."
I'm not sure what's possessing me to do this, but it feels like the right thing to do. Maybe it's because I'm so fresh from a confrontation with Tasia, maybe I see this as a second chance today, to maybe get through to someone. The pain of failure sits heavily on my heart and I need to do something.
Calen nods, before pulling the door open and motioning me inside. Blake is sitting on the blankets, her back against the wall. When she raises her eyes to meet mine, a flash of hatred, and something else I can't quite place, flashes there before she screams. The rage buried in the sound rattles my bones, but I stand my ground. I can feel Calen and Freddie move into the room, keeping close to the wall, waiting for me to make my move.
"Blake--" I begin, but no sooner does her name leaves my lips, she screams again.
"Don't you dare talk to me," she spits out, sliding up against the wall to a standing position. "Don't you dare try to weasel your way into my brain again. You are NOT welcome! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME!"
Her screams fill up the small room as she beats the base of her palms against her temples. Calen moves forward, abandoning all caution and reaches for his sister.
"Calen, no!" I call out, but it's already too late. His hand lands on her arm and her demeanor changes into something of a feral cat. She looks up, and in a flash of an eye, she's on top of him. They stumble back as I move forward to help, but she's stronger than she looks and neither one of us wants to hurt her. Her arms streaks across the space between us and she pins Calen to the wall, holding him against his throat. There's an indecision here, because both of us halt. She uses the hesitation to her advantage and turns toward the door, but Freddie is already there.
"Blake, honey. We're not going to hurt you." There are tears in his eyes, as he watches his niece carefully, as if afraid he's going to spook her. "We're trying to help. Let us help you."
His quiet voice seems to calm her down, or maybe it's the kindness in his eyes. She moves her hand away from Calen, bringing it against her temple once more.
"There are so many voices in here. Sometimes I can't hear anything else," she whispers. "They don't like you," she continues, looking up at me and for the first time in days, her eyes look clear. "They really don't like you." She repeats right before passing out into Calen's waiting arms. I see the syringe in his hand, as he catches his sister with one arm.
We watch as he places her on the pile of blankets and the failure I carry around with me rises up like bile. Tasia could've calmed her down, but more than that, Blake wouldn't be in this situation if Tasia was still here. I turn around and leave the room before anyone can say another word.
They find me in the living room a few minutes later. Both Calen and Freddie look so defeated. I don't have the words to make up for what they're going through, so I stay quiet.
"There has to be a logical explanation for this," Calen finally speaks up, taking his place at the computer table. "She was fine. She was getting better. And now? It seems like she's a completely different person. It's like she's possessed or something."
"Not possessed. On drugs." I can feel their eyes on me at my softly spoken words, but somethin
g is bugging me. There's a clue I'm missing here, as if I was reading a book and someone shut it in the middle of a sentence. If I could just know the end of that sentence, everything would make sense.
"Logan?"
"Something the general said," I look up, meeting Freddie's questioning gaze. "He said I have 72 hours 'till the next dosage. But that doesn't make sense, because how would we receive the dosage? He said there isn't really an antidote, but there's something. What are we missing?"
"Maybe..." Calen begins, clearing his throat, "Maybe Tasia is receiving new dosages of the drug and that's why it's so powerful in her."
My heart hurts just thinking about it, but it's a plausible conclusion. It would make sense why Foster's grip is so tight on her, why we can't get through to her.
"If the dosages are fresh, it may be interfering with us trying to get to her. I mean, if she had doubts or it's starting to wear off, another shot will bring her back." Freddie muses out loud and I have to agree. Yet, something about that doesn't seem right either.
"An expiring drug?" I ask, running a hand over my hair, before I realize it's still half covered in blood. Putting it back down to my side, I continue. "That's dangerous if they're creating soldiers. What if the drug wears off before the mission is complete? How would they monitor that, since every body reacts differently?"
It seems like the questions keep coming and we are incapable of getting any answers in return. The frustration seems to crackle in the air around us. What a band of heroes we've turned out to be.
"There has to be a way," Calen finally says, "But it doesn't explain Blake."
"No, the mutating drug made more sense. As much as any of this makes sense." Freddie replies and I notice again just how tired he looks. We sit in silence, trying to come up with some kind of an answer, but there's nothing.
Finally, Freddie stands. "You need to get cleaned up and get some rest. We should all get some rest. Blake will be out for hours."
