by Valia Lind
There's nothing more to say after that. Going into today, I thought we would finally have some weapons in our arsenal. Or even some ammunition. But now, it just feels like a failure. I managed to accomplish nothing. At this point, I wonder if I'll ever get anything right.
Maybe it's a good thing Tasia hates me. At least she can't be disappointed in me.
6.
LOGAN
It's been over a day since I've seen Tasia and I can't get her out of my mind.
My body is healing slowly, since I don't have any special drugs running through my system, and it's frustrating to be sitting in one position for most of the day. Most of the bleeding came from shallow cuts, as if Tasia was only playing with me. Bruises cover most of my body, but nothing is broken or sprained. I'm trying to get my muscles back in order, so slow going is the best I've got.
Calen has been hard at work with Freddie, trying to figure out where the next shipment is coming into. There's so much information to sift through, it's a difficult and a long process for just two men. I'm not much help at all. I don't know that much about computers and I just get in the way.
Instead, my mind is working overtime trying to come up with solutions to all out problems. What's been bugging me the most is the whole drug distribution. Since Blake's outburst yesterday, which came coincidentally at the same time Calen and I were away, I've been trying to find an answer and I've come up with nothing. There must be some way to figure out what's going on, but with so many questions, it's hard to even know where to start.
This morning, I wobbled into the room to find Freddie and Calen already behind the computers. Blake has been mostly sedated, so she's still in the room. Walking over to the coffee pot, I pour myself a cup and think about the last time Tasia and I had coffee together. She loves this stuff. I wonder if that has changed or if she at least got to keep that small part of herself.
"Good morning, Logan," Freddie calls out, bringing me out of my thoughts. When I meet his eyes I think he knows exactly what I've been thinking about. He gives me a small smile, as Calen turns around as well.
"Anything?" I ask, directing my question at both of them.
"There has been some activity at three known locations," Calen answers, running a hand over his face in frustration. "It's hard to say if any of it is actually what we're looking for though. They're good at covering their tracks and most of it looks like regular order of business for a yard."
"Which is why they've stayed in business this long," I exhale in annoyance, wishing for some kind of a lead. "They look legit from the outside."
"If they can manage to look like a presentable base of operations from the outside, they're set for life." Freddie says, watching me take a seat on the couch. "It's more than half the battle, if you ask me. Appearances are deceiving, but a good con-man can make it look effortless. That's what Foster does."
"Appearances..." I mumble, but it doesn't go unheard. Freddie and Calen both sit up at my whispered word, but there's something nagging me at the back of my mind. It's as if the answer is right there, at the tip, and I can almost grasp it.
"What are you thinking?" Freddie finally asks, when I don't elaborate.
"We've been trying to figure out how more dosages of the drug could be administered, right?"
"Yes..."
"What if it's something that appears one way, but actually serves a different purpose." I struggle to my feet, but thankfully, stay upright. The strength is returning to my limbs and at least, I'm no longer in a position of passing out from a dizzy spell. That happened the first night I was back and I never want to feel that weak ever again.
"Appearances are everything to Foster, right?" I continue, the idea now taking root. "So what if we're overlooking something that is staring us plainly in the face?"
"I'm not sure what you mean," Calen comments, sitting up at attention. We're desperate for some kind of a clue, some kind of a lead at this point. I feel like I'm on the right track, but I don't want to get my own hopes up before I follow this through.
"Freddie, we've scanned Blake for transmitters, right?"
"Yes..."
"Have we x-rayed her for anything else?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, but maybe there's something in her system that we missed?" I'm not sure if I'm grasping at straws here, but I have to try.
"You want to run her through the x-ray?" Calen asks, bewildered. We checked Blake over the best we could when she was under the influence, just to make sure we weren't followed. But nothing since then.
"Maybe? I don't know." I sit back down, because standing is taking all of my strength at the moment. The bruises are healing, but the energy isn't returning like I'd like it to do.
"No, I think it's a good idea." Freddie says, spinning around in his chair and pulling up a few windows on the screen. "We run her toxicology tests on the regular, but we haven't found anything else from our scans. We didn't really think to check for things that would appear normal but maybe are not."
He keeps typing on his computer screen, as Calen watches him. I can tell he's worried. He's not looking forward to us poking and probing his sister again, but it needs to be done. She's our only clue in this whole mess and we can't keep overlooking her, just because she's their family. To win, we need to use any means necessary. Another one of general's rules and one I hoped to never have to use. But we're at the end of the rope now. We need to do this, we're just going to do it our way and not the general's way.
"She's still pretty sedated," Freddie begins, pushing a few more buttons, before turning back to face us. "I think if we use the wand and do a full body scan, it will be enough." The last is delivered to Calen, because he stood once Freddie started speaking. I wish there was something encouraging I can say to him, to both of them, but who am I to encourage anyone right now? I can't even encourage myself.
"Let's do it. Now, before we change our minds." I say instead, struggling to my feet once again. Freddie heads over to get the equipment, which, he of course has on hand. The man is truly prepared for anything at this point.
Calen and I walk over to Blake's room, stopping just outside the door. He looks a bit lost, standing there. Probably a lot like what I look like when Tasia's around. But there are no words that can be spoken here to make it all okay, so I don't speak. We wait for Freddie in silence.
"You ready?" he asks, coming up to the door, wheeling the machine with him. We nod in unison, before unlocking the door.
Blake is still sound asleep, the blankets a knotted mess around her. She's restless in her sleep, and I wonder just what kind of demons she's fighting in that brain of hers. Freddie reaches over, hooking up the various aspects of the machine I know nothing about, before Calen moves over to help his sister.
They smooth the blankets out, placing them around Blake like a wall, before attaching more wires to her head and arms. After taking a step back, Calen reaches for the portable x-ray wand, but Freddie stops him.
"Let me do it," he says, "It'll be faster."
It shows just how exhausted Calen is, because he lets him. I stand back, allowing them to work, hoping and praying that there's something here. When the machine begins it's barely audible buzzing, I close my eyes.
I think about the time before all this, back when I first met Tasia at the gala and she was everything I've ever wanted. I should've walked away from the mission right then and there. I should've grabbed her and ran as fast as I could in the other direction. But I saw how much this vengeance meant to her, I saw that she could never rest until it was done. And then, when we found out just how deeply Kallos Enterprises sins went, it was too late to turn away. I can't really blame myself for the choices I made, but I do anyway.
The buzzing noise stops and I open my eyes. Blake is still sound asleep and Calen is now sitting beside her, holding her hand. Freddie pulls the machine away from her, nodding to me as he goes. I follow him out.
"Do you think we'll find anything?" I ask, because as
much as I want to be the strong one, I need the reassurance.
"I think it's a good idea that we tried," Freddie replies and I'm thankful he doesn't lie to me. We head back to the main room and Freddie settles in front of his computer again. He pulls the images he scanned up on the screen, as I take a seat beside him. I'm not sure what we're even looking for, but hoping it's that whole "we'll know when we find it".
After ten minutes of studying the images, I got nothing.
* * *
The steady beat of my fists agains the punching bag echoes through the otherwise empty room. I thought coming in here, working out now that I can again, would make me feel better. But it doesn't. It just reminds me of the time I spent in here with Tasia.
She's such a firecracker. Everything about her is explosive and striking. Training with her was the highlight of my day. It's the only time she let her guard down, even a little bit. Because in order for her to be a good fighter, she has to feel. It's the feeling that gave her the anticipation. It's the understanding that made her so clever.
I slam my fist at the leather with all my might and it swings in a different direction. Grabbing the bag with both hands, before it smacks me in the face, I breathe hard against the exertion.
I need her back. I can't function without her around.
Leaning my head against the bag, I try to settle my breathing. I know there are rules in this game, but it's as if I've never been sent the proper information. I'm floundering in the unknown and it's the most frustrating thing in the world. Especially when there are lives on the line.
"Logan, you've got a minute?" Calen pokes his head in to the workout room and I'm thankful for the distraction.
"Sure." I grab a towel and a bottle of water and follow him out of the room. As usual, Freddie is seated at the computer table, but I am surprised to see Blake in the room as well. She's seated on the couch, hands folded in her lap, but not restrained. I throw an alarming look at Calen, but he doesn't comment.
"Logan," Blake says my name as if she's not sure what sound will come out. Her voice is slightly hoarse from all the recent screaming, her hair has lost some of its usual shine, but she still looks like the girl I met. I wonder if when all said and done, if Tasia will look different. I shake my head to disperse the thought and focus on the present.
"Blake," I say, carefully. "How are you feeling?"
"Like my insides have been put through a meat grinder, thank you."
The words take all of us by surprise, the old Blake coming through the slight sarcasm. Sure, the words aren't' delivered with their usual flare, but it's definitely something Blake would say. The small smile is on my lips before I can stop it and Blake manages one in return.
"Freddie?" I make his name a question, because even though Blake is clearly feeling better, I'm not sure having her out in the open like this is a good idea. I don't have to say any of this because Freddie understands.
"It's okay." He replies, his fingers flying over the keys once more. Calen motions me over to Freddie, while he takes a seat by his sister. It's almost impossible to act like nothing is wrong. Blake's presence is throwing me off, as if I'm expecting everything to be in it's rightful place now. As if a part of me is waiting for Tasia to walk in through the front doors.
Before I can stop myself, my eyes fly to the front of the room, but the doors stay closed. I shake my head again, struggling to keep the disappointment from showing. I really need to get a grip on my emotions.
"Logan, are you listening?" Freddie breaks through my thoughts and I almost curse myself out loud for letting my mind wander.
"Yes. No," I confess, receiving a small grunt in return.
"I said I think I've narrowed down these three yards as the possible site for the next shipment. There's no sure way of knowing, unless we go and check it out. The shipment should be in today sometime and this needs a visual confirmation. Are you up for it?"
"Yes." I don't hesitate in my answer, but I'm not sure Freddie believes me anyway. The man always notices more than he lets on and it's unnerving how he can see right through me.
"If you're not..."
"I'll be fine." I interrupt, determined to be just that. I can't let a few bruises keep me out of this now. General expects me there, regardless of how I feel or look. This is a mission he's given to me and if I'm to keep him thinking that I'm still on his side, I have to be the one doing the heavy lifting.
"I'm still not sure if she's receiving extra dosages, or how they're administered, but she's probably going to be there, Logan." Freddie says, keeping his voice low but firm. It hurts my heart how we've stripped her down to pronouns. It's too difficult to use her name.
"I can handle her."
"Like you handled her last time?" Calen asks from his position on the couch. I turn to face him, noticing the fire in his eyes. He has grown so much since I've met him, and for all the wrong reasons. No one should have to go through what he's going through, especially at such a young age. But I would never tell him to sit this one out. He's as stubborn as I am.
"I got to her last time. I know I did. She heard me, Calen. I have to believe that." I reply, trying to convince myself as much as him.
"Capsules. Little bugs under the skin."
All three of us turn to Blake, as she starts mumbling the words over and over.
"Blake, what is it?" Calen asks, kneeling at eye level with her. I've never noticed just how fragile she looks compared to her brother. So much more now that she's been under the influence.
"Capsules like little bugs under the skin. They break and the voices come."
We exchange a look, trying to put meaning to the randomness, as Blake reaches for one of her arms and runs her finger from elbow to upper arm. Slowly, as if she's walking the length of her skin.
"Here. Here. There. Everywhere." She's not making since, but she's not screaming. However, the worried look on Calen's face doesn't go away.
"I'm tired, so tired." Blake finally says, looking up at Calen, her eyes once again clear. "I want to sleep."
Her brother doesn't reply, but reaches for her hand and pulls her up beside him. Without a word they walk out of the room and I transfer my gaze to Freddie, who's sitting quietly at the table. For a second, the sadness on his face is too much to take, but then, with practiced ease, he's the focused man I've come to know.
He turns to his computer without a word, his hands flying over the keys. I give him full three minutes, the typical amount of time he asks for not to be disturbed during, before I walk over and take a seat beside him.
"Freddie, what is it?" I finally ask, just as Calen walks back into the room.
"What Blake said, about bugs under her skin. What if she actually meant just that?"
"Uncle, she was talking nonsense. She's been doing that on and off since we've found her. You know this." Calen says, his voice dull of emotion. I think if he allowed himself emotion, he would be weeping on the floor somewhere right now.
"But what if it's not, Calen?" Freddie replies, without looking away from his screen. I open my mouth to ask another question, but he beats me to it. "There! Look!" he exclaims.
I lean over, studying one of the x-rays we took a yesterday. Along the back of Blake's arm, right where her fingers were making weird patters, there are two dots, that are barely visible.
"So what?" Calen asks over my shoulder. "I thought you said those were just regular discrepancies in these types of x-rays." Calen basically just quoted Freddie word for word.
"Yes, but what if they're not. Think about it. What if Blake was implanted with capsules that contain the drug. What if those capsules were on a timer, or controlled by outside forces, at it broke inside of her system?" He looks excited, like a kid on a Christmas morning and I have to agree. His theory does make sense the more I think about it.
"But we scanned her for any kind of transmitters." Calen states.
"So they found a way around it."
"What if they created a compound that dissolves w
ithin a certain amount of time. Like a timer." I say, the idea taking root in my brain. If this is possible, it opens up so many possibilities.
"We have to see if there are any others. This batch is almost out of Blake's system. If we're right, we don't want her to revert back." Freddie says, his eyes glazed over as he plans out the details. I glance up at Calen and he has the same far away look on his face. But it's mingled with something, almost like hope. If we can have this small victory, maybe we're not so hopeless after all.
"I'll have to run tests. But you need to go and check the sites. This shipment is a big one, Logan," Freddie says, momentarily focusing on me. "She will be there. No doubt."
"Okay, so you figure out if what you said is true and I have to get ready for a date." I say, getting to my feet. Because like it or not, I do have a date. With a girl I love, who's trying to kill me.
7.
LOGAN
I've been driving for what seems like days. Granted, it's been only about seven hours, but the precautions we must take in order to stay hidden are a necessity we cannot avoid at this point. Calen came with me, even though I know he wanted to stay with his sister. So far we've only managed to check out one of the locations and it was a bust.
Recently, it seems like that's all we've been doing. Going from one location to the next, trying to catch a lucky break by running into something that may be useful. I'm not sure I believe in luck, but if I did, I could use a bunch of it right now. I don't want this to be another case of "it's the last place you check". We need a win and we need it bad.
Calen keeps checking his phone every five seconds and it's getting on my nerves. If Freddie had any news, he would've sent us word by now, but I understand Calen's anxiety. I would be doing the same if it was Tasia on the line.
"Does it feel like we're stuck in a constant loop?" he suddenly asks, shifting my attention back to him.
"What do you mean?" I ask in reply, checking our surroundings again. A part of me knows what he means, but I want to hear him say it.
