by Valia Lind
"It seems like we're just going in circles, mate. There's no end in sight. We're repeating the same thread of events over and over."
He sounds so discouraged, I wish I was better at the touchy feely stuff, because the kid needs some kind of encouragement right now. But it's hard to be the pillar of strength when my own foundation is crumbling beneath me. I can't let this be the case. I can't allow us to give up now, but it would be so easy.
As much as it pains me to admit, the general was right. I could've walked away when she shot me. I should've. But the moment she came into my life, I knew it would never be the same again. And I couldn't walk away from that. It would be like closing your eyes when a meteor shower is right above you. She's a wonder of the world, and there's nothing that can keep me from her.
That's what I have to hold on to, in order to get through this. It's what gets me up every morning and the fuel behind my actions.
"It may be," I finally say, wrapping my hands more tightly over the steering wheel, "but we're doing this for family. If that means we have to go through the same set of motions a thousand times, then that's what we will do. Because they won't win, Calen. They won't."
He looks at me, hears the determination behind my words, resigning himself to the fate, just like I had to do. Because what I said is true. We might have to do this another thousand times before we see the results. But we can't give up now, no matter what.
The silence stretches over the car and there's really nothing more to say. But I notice that Calen sits up a little straighter and that's all I need. His head needs to be in the game if he's to have my back.
It takes us another hour to get to the next location and I'm getting more anxious the closer we get. My sixth sense might know something I can't put into words, because when we pull up to the location on the map, I know we've hit the jackpot.
"This has to be it," Calen says the obvious, and I have to agree. The place is jam packed with people, a dozen or so semi trucks parked in a row. We're still on the back road, so I can't see much more than that, but the location is isolated enough that it's perfect for distribution of materials.
"We need to get closer," I say, backing up. Ditching the car is the first order of business, before we continue on foot. Calen only has his backpack with him and he's checking to make sure his frequencies can't be picked up. I reach for my second handgun, securing it at the back of my spine. The other goes in my hand.
"Are you sure about this?" I ask Calen, glancing over at him.
"Let's do this."
We make our way back toward the compound we found, staying close to the trees. This is probably the second most remote location I've been to since working for Kallos and it doesn't surprise me that they're keeping a closer watch on their merchandise. Since the explosion at the fundraiser, they haven't been as up front about their dealings, which made it that much harder for us to find them and keep track of them.
I pull out my binoculars. From our prone position in the tall grass, we can see the people dressed in typical workers uniforms carrying boxes. I count at least ten men with automatic weapons dispersed between the workers on this side of the compound. Who knows how many others are hidden by the trucks and buildings.
"What's the plan?" Calen asks, taking the binoculars and making his own sweep of the lot in front of us. There's not much we can do, taking on over a dozen trained men and women would be suicide with just the two of us.
"Call Freddie." I reply, knowing what I have to do, but hoping that maybe he could find a way around it.
"What is it?" Freddie answers on the first ring.
"We found it. Calen is sending you pictures now," I reply, no time for pleasantries.
"Got them." There's a moment of silence and then, "Logan, you know what you have to do."
I run my hand over my face, already dreading the call I have to make. If there was any way around this, I would take it.
"I know. I was hoping I wouldn't have to."
"If you're to stay on his good side, and we need that right now, you don't have a choice."
Calen looks over at me, a question in his eyes, because he can see the frustration written all over my face. The general is the last person I want to call, but if I don't report this location, I'm a dead man.
"You know he'll use this merchandise for his own good," I say and it's true. General wouldn't report this or destroy it. He would put it in his own back pocket for a rainy day. "We have to destroy it."
Calen whips his head around to stare at me as I say the words. It's a risky move, I know, but it's the only thing I can come up with at the moment. I rather have the shipment destroyed, than in his hands.
"What are you thinking?" Freddie asks, after a minute of silence. He's going over the plan in his head, I'm sure, but he's letting me call the shots, since I'm here.
"I'll sneak on base, rig a few explosives around the area, then get out. But I have to call him first." The last part is added with certainty, because there's no way I'd get out of it otherwise.
"He's still going to suspect you," Calen whispers beside me, the binoculars raised up to his face once again.
"But this buys me more credibility then if I do it otherwise." I reply. Freddie sighs on the other side of the line and just like that, it's decided. "We'll call you after."
I don't wait for a response, pushing the end call button. The people below keep moving from building to trucks and I wish there was a way that no one would get hurt. I know there are innocent people down there, but a lot more will die if we don't stop these shipments.
"You sure about this?" Calen asks, watching me carefully. In the last few months, he's become like a brother to me and I can see the concern in his eyes. He doesn't want me down there, but a war is a war. It needs to happen and I'm the only one who can do it. Instead of lying to his face, I open the phone once again and dial a number.
"Report," the general says by the way of a greeting.
"I found it," I say, reaching for the backpack I grabbed on the way out of the car. I know there are three explosive devices inside, because Calen and I carry them with us everywhere we go. It's a safety measure that we have created and hoped to never have to use in a place filled with people.
"Details."
I rattled off our location, making sure to keep my voice neutral. Another one of those tricks learned from the general himself. He was always good at keeping his emotions in check.
"I'll be on the south side, about half a mile out." I finally say.
"I'll be there in forty five minutes," the general replies, before disconnecting the call. I stare at the phone in my hand, before handing it to Calen. I can't take it with me down there, because I don't want to leave any traces.
"What did he say?" Calen asks, taking the phone from me.
"That he'll be here in forty-five. Which means I have half of that to get down there and do this."
Checking over the devices, I wonder how it has come to this. How am I the one making the hard decisions? When I was a kid, I wanted to be a soldier like my father. His sense of purpose and drive to protect the world is what every kid can look up to. Then, I turned five and realized that my father was not who he pretends to be. I did become a soldier, but I didn't want to anymore.
"Stay here," I say now, swinging the backpack over my shoulders, before reaching for my gun. "See if you can keep me in the clear."
Calen pulls out his trusty tablet, pushing a few buttons, before reaching for me. He places his hand on my shoulder.
"Be safe."
"Same." I reply, and without another thought, take off down the hill.
I stay close to the trees, keeping the compound on my left. Calen's voice rings out in my ear a second later.
"They're moving closer to the building. I think the first truck is full."
"Copy that." I say, without breaking stride. If I can get to the other side, get some bombs to go off, I can create enough panic that by the time the general gets here, they'll not only be on full alert, bu
t maybe can even keep him from taking the drugs.
It takes me four minutes to get to the other side of the fence. The luck must be on my side, because I don't see any gates. Those must be on the opposite side and that means I can get in here. One of the buildings is close enough to the perimeter to provide me with a bit of cover.
"Calen, how is that fence coming along?" I ask, making my way down.
"From what I can tell, they don't seem to have the electricity up at the moment. The front gates must be open."
Which means we must've missed some of the shipment already. But there's nothing to be done about that right now. I make it to the fence, grabbing a twig on the way. After throwing it at the chain links, and getting no reaction, I cut the metal and slip through. My best bet would be to get to the big building and the trucks parked next to it, but there are too many people between me and them.
Staying close to the wall, I'm almost to the other side of the building when Calen's voice in my ear stops me cold.
"Logan, she's here."
* * *
Why? is the only thought running through my mind.
Freezing in my tracks, I take a second to think of a scenario where her presence here is necessary. I find none.
It's as if they know how much her presence unnerves me and that's the only reason she's here. They couldn't have seen us coming, yet here we are. There needs to be a way around this, but I already know I have to see her.
"Logan, don't do anything stupid," Calen's voice comes over the ear piece, as if he can read my mind. He knows me too well. "If you're right about the general, he'll be here in twelve minutes, mate. You can't risk it."
My brain hears him, but my heart has put him on mute. It's been hardly 72 hours since I've seen her last, and yet, my insides are burning to be near her. She's like an addiction that I can't shake. Even if it kills me.
"I have to, Calen."
I hear him sigh in my ear, but I'm already moving. Grabbing one of the contraptions from my bag, I slide it under the semi truck parked in the middle. There's a crunch of boots behind me and I manage to slide under the truck before the guard patrolling crosses my path. Laying quietly, I hope no one decides to take a closer look. I hear some shouting to move it and the sound of boots fades away.
The blast from the bomb I just set should take out the four trucks parked, as well as at least some of the building. That's a good enough distraction to get things moving.
"Nine minutes, Logan." Calen comments and I hear the impatience in his voice. He's frustrated with me for taking the chance, but he would've done the same thing. I have no doubt there.
"Where is she?" I ask, sliding from under the truck and heading to the opposite end of the compound. There's got to be a place where I can see her. I try to tell myself that this is research, we need to know how she's reacting, if the drug is still in her system. But it's a lie. I just want to see her face.
"She's --" Calen goes to answer, but her voice drowns him out. Quickly, I run over to the stacked crates by the main building, crouching just low enough to stay out of sight.
"I don't care what's been said. I'm telling you, you have twenty minutes to get this finished up or you'll have my wrath to deal with." She's yelling at one of the military looking guys. I can't see his face, but the set of his shoulders tells me that he's not mad, he's scared. When he turns, I see the panic on his face, as he rushes over to the crew loading the truck.
Honestly, I'm not surprised they're scared of her. Tasia has always been a menacing presence, but the drug makes her so much colder. She's the ice queen and one look from her strikes fear into those around her.
She looks fierce, as always. Her hair is free from it's signature ponytail, falling around her shoulders in waves. The dark jeans and leather jacket and boots make her look as if she's just stepped out of an action movie. But it's her eyes that capture me, as always. They're full of determination and for a second I almost believe that she's herself again.
Tasia takes out a phone that looks very similar to the one I left with Calen and pushes a few buttons.
"Calen, she's dialing someone. Can you pick it up?" I whisper.
"Got it," he replies, before I hear her talking.
"Everything is on schedule." She says, pausing long enough for the person on the other end to answer. "No problems. It's almost time. I have the drive."
I don't know what the other person says, but her face hardens and her other hand curls into a fist. "Understood." She says, before hanging up the phone. She stares at the device in her hand, and for a second I think she's about to chuck it across the lot. The anger radiating off her is almost touchable. She's a burning furnace of rage, barely staying contained. Whatever is happening in her mind, it's taking a lot of her concentration.
I watch as she pockets the phone, before glancing behind her at the people working. There's something about her that seems more familiar than other times. I'm not sure if I'm actually seeing it, or if my mind is playing tricks, but she looks more like herself.
After another glance behind her, she walks over to the building on my right. It's the one located in the middle, between the two barns. I haven't noticed anyone going in and out and I assume it's more of an office than anything else. I have less than eight minutes to get back up that hill and be prepared to meet the general, but I can't seem to leave just yet.
When my legs do start moving, I'm moving towards her.
"Logan, don't even think about it!" Calen all but shouts into my ear. He can see me and knows what I'm about to do. It's the dumbest decision, but I can't unmake it. The next moment, I slip inside the building.
Tasia is standing against the opposite end of the open room, her back to me. Her arms are wrapped around her middle as she gazes out of the window. I would give anything to be able to see inside her mind right now. If there was a way for me to guide her back to me, I would pay whatever price need be.
Before I can decide exactly what I came here to do, the detonator goes off. The explosion rocks the building we're in, but it doesn't knock it down. She spins on her heels, ready to race out of the door, when I step in front of it. Her gaze collides with mine and there is so much conflict there, it feels like a physical blow.
I have no idea what entity has overtaken my body and is guiding it in this direction, but I can't leave without her. Suddenly, that's the only thing on my mind.
"Logan." My name on her lips is but a whisper. It's different since the last time she's said it, more like it used to be - with feeling.
"Princess, tell me it's you." I can't mask the tone of hope in my voice and I don't want to. She needs to hear just how important the answer is to me.
"It's always me," she replies, taking a step toward me. She still sounds unsure, as if she's battling herself to see which version will win out. Her eyes glaze over and clear in the span of a second,
"But is it my Tasia?" I whisper, watching her closely. I know she can hear the emotion in my voice, the way her name trembles on my lips. It's taking all of my self control not to rush to her and pull her into my arms.
"I'm here. And I'm not." She replies, her words similar to what Blake has been saying. It's that lost voice, as if she's talking to someone else. Or she's trying to figure out what her own voice sounds like.
"Come with me, princess. We can help." My hand reaches for her of its own accord, and I leave it hovering between us.
"I'm on a schedule," she says and just as soon as the words leave her mouth, she snaps to attention. It's as if some switch has been flipped and she's once again the coldhearted murderer I met last time. The change is so instantaneous, I wouldn't have seen it coming if I wasn't watching her so closely.
"It's you who needs help," Tasia says, shattering the glimmer of hope I felt. Foster's puppet is back and I was so close to getting her back. I know I should run, but I'm rooted to the place, my hand still reaching for her.
"No, Tasia. Don't leave."
"You think that's how this works. That
you can just talk me into being your helpless little Tasia again." She says, walking over to me. I let my hand fall by my side, the shouts of anger and bewilderment sounding at my back like a bad soundtrack. The workers are scrambling to get out of danger, trying to figure out what went wrong. I should've ran too, but it's too late now. Whatever plans I think I had, they fly out of the window and I need to act. No thinking, just action.
She's leaving me no choice. If I'm to leave here alive.
"I know that this is just the drug speaking. You've never been helpless, princess. You've proved that over and over again."
"Awe, how sweet. You truly believe that we had something, don't you?" Tasia laughs, the words like bullets to my heart. "That I cared about a poor pathetic loser like you." She keeps advancing, as I take a step back, keeping her directly in front of me.
"You think that because of some stupid memories, I would just drop at your knees and be yours. Like all those cheesy movies." There's a snarl in her voice, as she tries to break me down without a touch. "You think that because you've done a few nice things for me, I'm just going to be with you. Well, you are nothing but a pawn Logan. Foster used you. That weasel of an uncle used you. Your precious daddy used you."
I physically flinch at her words, but she shouldn't have this information. There's no way Foster knows the general and I are related. That's not something that can be researched, it's not written down. The general had any kind of family genealogy destroyed the moment he enlisted me in his plans. And yet here we are.
"That's right. I know all about you and your little family." Her voice grows colder by the second and I have to keep myself from lashing out. "And now you get to learn something too, Logan. All that time, I used you too. I pretended. I lied. Because that's what I've been doing my whole life and it wasn't any different with you."
Her words crush me as if a ton of bricks have just fallen onto my heart. She looks smug, happy even, to have caused me pain. But I'm schooled in ways of psychological manipulation.
"You know that isn't true," I keep my voice low, even as the commotion continues outside. Staring right into her eyes, I force the truth on her. "We are a team, Anastasia. You and I both have been used by others, but we never used each other. We would never betray each other's trust in that way. In the depths of your heart, you know that as a fact. Whatever brainwashing you have undergone can't erase the truth. It's still there. It's still inside of you."
