by Valia Lind
"It's cute how you keep thinking this isn't permanent," she growls, her body on full alert. She's ready to spring at me at any moment. The struggle is evident, but I no longer know exactly what she's struggling with or which side of her will win. I have to get her out of here before it's too late. Tasia opens her mouth to continue her verbal assault, but I don't give her a moment to spare. Instead of thinking things through, I act.
Pushing away from the wall, I rush her, my shoulder slamming into her stomach. We fall to the floor hard and she's instantly rolling. I've pulled my punches before, but not this time. I can't afford to. So I attack just as viciously as she does.
I'm bigger than her, so I use the size to my advantage, as I slam her into the floor. Tasia twists her body from under me, swiping the legs in a circular motion that sends me staggering back. It's just enough distance for her to flip around, landing a solid kick to my chest.
She falls back with the movement, but I don't let her gain any distance between us. Slamming my palm into her face, I swipe her feet from beneath her, before I'm on top of her again. The punch she throws at my face and stomach almost make me let go, but I hold on. When she whips her body off the floor and into me, I make my move. The small syringe is in my hand and then it's in her neck.
She kicks me in the stomach and I land on my back, but the deed is done. She goes for a kick, but I block it, yanking it from under her. She falls to her hands and knees, but before she can orient herself, the drug kicks in.
"What did you do?" she manages, as she gasps for breath. The syringe wasn't just a knock out potion, it was a paralyzing one as well. I knew there was no way I could get her out of here otherwise. Freddie prepared the drug weeks ago and I carried it with me on every mission since. Seeing her at the warehouse, I didn't think to use it, but now, it was unavoidable. I don't answer her, as I watch her eyes droop and then close. The fight leaves her and for the first time in months, she looks at peace.
"Don't worry, princess. It will all be okay."
8.
Butterflies. There are butterflies everywhere.
You used to love just how beautiful they look, fluttering in the wind. But now, they cause you nothing but pain.
Pain? How can they cause you pain? You don't understand. You don't understand anything any more.
A small yellow creature lands on your arm and the agony that comes with the feel of the little wings on your skin makes you scream. You stumble to your knees, clawing at the spot to keep the pain from spreading, but you only manage to scratch yourself until you bleed.
Falling on your back, you stare up at the sky as a swarm of beautiful creatures slowly descend on you and then you are surrounded.
The pain is more than you can take.
You want to scream.
You want to rip your skin from your body.
You want to die.
But you can't. You just can't escape.
LOGAN
"Are you out of your freaking mind?" Calen exclaims the moment I get back to the car. Getting out from the compound undetected was nearly impossible, especially carrying an unconscious girl in my arms, but by some miracle I made it. Thankfully, everyone was too busy with the blazing fires to notice me slipping out in the opposite direction. Now, we need to hide her from the general and get out of here alive. No big deal.
"Don't tell me it's not something you would've done, if you had the chance," I reply, motioning for Calen to open the back door. He stares at me for a long second, before finally complying.
"What if you were wrong, mate?" he asks, as I place Tasia on the floor of the car. If I can position her low enough in the back, she'll be hidden in the shadows. It's a lot safer than putting her in the obvious place, like the trunk. Of course, I'm hoping the general will be too outraged by the commotion down the hill to even bother with me.
"But I wasn't. And I'd do it again," I reply, standing up. We close the door and thankfully, she's hidden from sight. Since the drug is paralyzing as well as a knock out drug, she won't be able to move and give away her position.
"She could've ripped your throat out." Calen mumbles, as we take our positions at the end of the road, where we can pretend to be monitoring the activity below. The general should be here any minute now.
"But she didn't. And I was willing to take that chance."
And there's that. I can't deal with the tirade of emotions racing through me right now. Having her so close to me, it takes all I have not to drive her far far from this place. I can't pretend that I wasn't afraid she'd do just what Calen said she could've. Tasia has always been efficient in the killing department. But Calen can see the determination in my eyes, so he leaves it alone. He hands me the phone without a word, turning to watch the fire raging down the hill.
"There's been an accident," I state as soon as the general answers.
"What do you mean?" he asks, his voice clipped. I don't have to see his face to know he's annoyed.
"I mean just that," I snap, knowing I have to stand my ground for him to believe it. "Something went wrong down there. One of their trucks went up in flames."
The general doesn't reply, before hanging up. Not that I'm at all surprised. He's pissed and I would be lying if I say it doesn't bring me a special kind of a pleasure.
Three minutes later, we hear the truck driving up the road. Calen and I turn to meet them head on and a part of me really wishes that Calen would stay hidden. But that would raise more flags than not, if he's just sitting in the car behind me. The general would most definitely go have a talk to him then and discover Tasia.
"You sure about this?" I ask, as the truck stops a few feet in front of us.
"I'm not going anywhere," Calen replies, stuffing his hands in his pockets and not taking his eyes off the scene below.
"What happened?" general asks, getting out of the vehicle. His eyes are focused on the noise around me and I turn to see the people rushing from one end of the compound to the next. The flames have now eaten up three of the trucks and half of the smaller building. I try to keep myself from feeling smug, because I'm afraid it'll show on my face. There's no way I can have any mistakes at this point.
"I called you, the place went up in flames, and here we are." I reply, keeping a steady gaze on him. His eyes flash as he turns on me, but he can't prove I did anything. Not in the amount of time it would've taken me to set this up and him getting here. He's suspicious, of course, but he also thinks I'm not smart enough to pull something like this off. Luckily, he doesn't know just how great Calen is at these kinds of things.
"That better be all there is to it," the general barks, before turning to his men. "See what you can salvage, but stay out of sight. We don't need unnecessary conflicts right now."
He turns to me once more, and the hatred he typically masks is plain to see. He used to keep it to himself, but lately, it's as if he's using it as a weapon. It would work too, if I actually still cared.
"I swear if you did something..."
"What could I have done?" I snap, matching his stamina when it comes to intimidation. "I know better than to cross you, remember?" It's the double sided statement that strokes his ego, but also makes me seem tougher than I am. Another one of those tricks and if he wasn't so vain, he would see right through it.
"Get yourself out of here, boy." He finally says and I'm all too happy to comply. I don't wait for him to change his mind and shoot me on sight. I allow Calen to walk in front of me, grateful the general is too caught up to even notice the other man. "I'll deal with you later."
The last statement is delivered at my back and for a second, I almost stumble. He used to tell me this, right before he locked me in the basement for days. Or when he decided that I didn't receive enough punishment in my training. But I'm not that little boy anymore. I swallow the fear and replace it by rage. Turning around, I level him with a cold look and one small nod. Something flashes in his eyes and if I was foolish, I would fancy it as respect. But I'm not that stupid.
&nbs
p; Without another word, Calen and I get into the car, and I start it up. It takes a lot of my self control not to glance at the floor behind me and I want to tell Calen to keep his eyes forward, but thankfully, he's a smart guy. He acts as if nothing is there, his eyes staying firmly on the general and what's going on behind him.
Another five minutes, and we lose sight of the compound and my father completely.
"You're crazy to bait him like that," Calen finally says, exhaling as if he's been holding his breath this whole time.
"I learned from the best," I reply.
After all this time, I no longer care what he thinks of me. I won't ever care again. What I do care about is the beautiful girl lying on the floor behind me. We have her back and we need to make sure that this risk is not taken in vain.
"Call Freddie and tell him to get ready. We're bringing Tasia home."
* * *
Home is a relative term. Especially for someone who hasn't had one in years.
Taking Tasia back to Freddie's safe house is too dangerous, considering it's our base of operations. And Blake is there. Without being one hundred percent sure how those two will react to each other, we can't take the risk.
So instead, Calen and I drive to a different safe house. It's a bit farther into the woods, not situated in a community like our other one. But it's not that far away from where Freddie is. We need to be close, but far enough away from him not to give away his position. He's a smart man, and with his resources, he can preplan for basically anything. The situation would look a lot different if he wasn't on our side.
This house isn't as equipped for living, which we both realize when we walk in the front door. There's one piece of furniture in the main room and the floor plan is an open space, as the room connects straight to the kitchen. There's a small corridor to the side and after placing Tasia on the couch, I walk over to explore. The first door I open answers my question on why Freddie insisted we take this house.
"Is this what I think this is?" Calen asks over my shoulder, as we stand in the doorway.
"It definitely is," I reply, sighing in frustration. I hate that I have to put Tasia in here, but we have no choice. There's no way she would be safe in a room like Blake's. So Freddie created a prison cell of sorts.
"He really does prepare for everything, doesn't he?" Calen asks, and I nod in reply, before walking back over to the couch. Looking down at Tasia, I try to brand this image into my brain. She looks so much like herself here, no hard lines chiseled by Foster - just my Tasia. She has always been strong, stronger than any girl I've ever met and she doesn't need to pretend at it. But through her strength I saw her heart and that's what missing. The drug has erased that image, putting up a wall between the Tasia I love, and the Tasia he created. As much as it breaks my heart to put her in that room, I know it's what has to be done.
Maybe, she'll even thank me for it one day.
Before I can change my mind, I cradle her into my arms and carry her to the room. Placing her in the chair in the middle of the open space takes a lot of my resolve and even more so when I strap her down. Her legs are strapped in two places, as well as her arms. There's a strap for her forehead as well, but I can't bring myself to fasten it. At least, not yet.
I turn away from Tasia, meeting Calen's eyes in the doorway. He watches me for a second, before transferring his gaze to the rest of the room. The walls are soundproof and there's nothing inside the room, except for the leather recliner chair I just strapped Tasia to. She's going to hate me for this, but we have no choice. If we can get the drug out of her system, even for a bit, maybe we can figure out where to go from there. This is our only choice in detoxing her and as much as I hate leaving her locked up in here like some criminal, it must be done. Tasia is a lot more resourceful and cunning and won't just lay here like Blake did. She'll fight and Tasia fighting is not something we can handle right now.
After checking to make sure she's secure and has nothing in her pockets or on her that would allow her to get out of her restrains, I close and lock the door behind me. Calen and I walk out to the main room in silence, neither one of us wanting to be the first to speak. I take a seat on the couch, while he leans against the wall, folding his hands in front of him.
"You should go check on Blake," I finally say, after what seems like a lifetime of silences.
"I'm not leaving you here alone."
Glancing up at him, I can see that he means it. But I also know that alone is exactly what I need to be right now to deal with all of this. I'm not exactly okay with any of the choices I've made recently and kidnapping Tasia and torturing the drug out of her system is on top of that list. Calen can see the indecision on my face, and I know he wants to say something encouraging. But we're not exactly built for this, so there are no words.
"I'll be fine, Calen. Check on Blake, get Freddie up to speed. Bring me some food." That last part is added for Calen's benefit, even though I don't feel like eating. It's guilt trip tactic, but it works. Even though I'm pretty sure Calen knows what I'm doing.
"Either uncle or myself will be back," he finally says, pushing off the wall. "Don't do anything stupid." He doesn't say it, but I hear the 'again' at the end of that sentence loud and clear.
After he leaves, I stay seated, not exactly knowing what to do with myself. A big part of me just wants to go in there, shake Tasia awake and see her clear, determined eyes staring back at me. But even now, I know that when she wakes up, she's going to be Foster's puppet and there will be no love between us. But I can't leave her in there alone. I just can't.
So while this may be stupid, I walk over to the door, placing my forehead on it and taking a deep breath. I'm not sure I can manage to watch her suffer, but I can't leave her in her pain alone. When the drugs begin to leave her system, I have a feeling it'll be much more painful than what Blake went through. The agony will be beyond unbearable and while it needs to be done, it still breaks my heart that Tasia is the one going through it. After taking another deep breath, I unlock the door and slip inside.
The room is dimly lit and looks like something out of a bad science fiction movie. Tasia is still out, strapped to the leather chair, the hair falling into her face, as it droops to the side. I want to walk over and push it out of her face. I want to bring a chair and sit next to her, holding her hand. But I'm the catalyst to her rage. I'm the one Foster poisoned her against. The fact that she's tried to kill me three times now proves that point.
But I love her. As foolish as this may be, I will stay by her side. I will see her through the screams and the burning fire. She felt alone most of her life, even with Freddie and his family. She told me herself how she could never rely on anyone, not even those who professed to love her. The more we found out about Foster, the truer that statement became in her life. Her own father was involved in the experiments and I know she'll carry that with her for the rest of her life.
I can't change what happened in the past and I can't pretend I know what will happen in the future, but I know that I can be there for her.
That starts here.
9.
LOGAN
It's another four hours before she even begins to stir.
I've been sitting propped up against the wall, watching her like my life depends on it. At this point, I think it really does. She speaks first, and I realize she's probably been awake for longer than I notice.
"Is this the kind of kinky stuff you're into these days?" her voice comes from behind the curtain of her hair and I hear the absolute hatred in it. My heart clenches at her words, but I don't react as she turns her face in my direction. "Such a naughty boy, Logan. How about you untie me and we'll see just how much fun we can have in this little dungeon?"
They're her words, but it's not really her speaking. First of all, she would never say something like that to me, but more so, the tone of her voice sounds more robotic than provocative. She stares at me through her lashes, sweat glistering on her skin, and I can tell she's already in pai
n.
Pushing to my feet, I lean against the wall, crossing my arms in front of me. If we're going into this battle of wills, I have to stand my ground no matter what. Even allowing an inch will send this whole operation into a downward spiral. She's just that good.
Calen's concerns are definitely understood, as I watch her try to get more comfortable in the chair, while hoping to break free. She's a devious creature even without the drugs and the brainwashing. She's so much more dangerous now.
"What? Nothing to say," Tasia continues, raising her head just a tad. "But you always have so much to say! Oh Tasia, I am here for you. You are not alone!"
It takes much of my self control not to react as she mimics my words back to me. While pretending to be me, her tone sounds much more like the Tasia I know and love. It's difficult not to give in. There must be some kind of a shift in my posture anyway, because she smiles.
"Cat got your tongue?" she sneers, leaning the back of her head against the chair. The movement sends her hair tumbling from her face and I can finally see her eyes clearly. They are full of hate and pain. Not a combination I would wish on anyone.
"Take a good look, Logan," she spits in my direction, when I continue to keep my silence. "Take a good look at what you're doing to me." Her words are enraged, venom dripping from every syllable. She's not playing the tough guy anymore. Lifting her carefully crafted mask, she's letting me see the agony she's experiencing and it's worse than anything I've seen before.
The scream rips from deep inside of her, as if it's coming from her very soul. The sound echoes through the space around me, shaking the foundation I'm standing on. If I thought Blake was in pain, Tasia takes it to a completely new level. Her body begins to thrash, the violent jerks digging into her restrains, but she doesn't seem to notice.
