Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!
Page 12
Times change: In 1915 schoolteachers weren’t allowed to date, smoke, or go out after dark.
ANIMAL ACTS
They say the best offense is a good defense… especially when the defense is really offensive!
BARFING BIRDS. Petrels are pigeon-size natives of Antarctica that defend their nests by throwing up on predators. They have two stomachs: one for digesting food—mostly fish or shrimp—and another for storing a special orange oil. They can barf that orange goo a distance of three feet and sometimes farther. If you happen to be the target of the petrel’s vomit, good luck washing it off. You’ll stink like fish…for days.
PEEING FROGS. Some kinds of frogs release a foul-smelling (and foul-tasting) pee that they hope will keep any hungry animals from eating them.
FARTING SNAKES. Some snakes hiss or rattle to warn enemies away. But have you ever heard of a snake that farts? The Sonoran coral snake and the western hook-nosed snake both fart when they feel threatened. Scientists use the polite term cloacal popping, but it’s the same thing as farting. Snake “pops” sound very much like human farts, except that they are slightly higher in pitch. Does it work? Predators usually have the same reaction to farts as the rest of us: they run!
Q: What’s one thing that snakes can do, but insects can’t?A: Sneeze.
WISE GUYS
We gave you “Reel Wisdom” on page 14. Now ponder some real wisdom from history’s best-known philosophers.
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
—Plato (427–347 B.C.)
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
—Confucius (551–479 B.C.)
“Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty.”
—Albert Einstein (1879–1955)
“He who fights against monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
“Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others.”
—Socrates (469–399 B.C.)
“He is able who thinks he is able.”
—Buddha (566–486 B.C.)
“A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
—Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
“It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.”
—René Descartes (1596–1650)
Lucky break: Marilyn Monroe got her start when she was crowned Artichoke Queen in 1947.
VIDEO TREASURES
Ever found yourself at a video store with no idea what to get? Here are a few recommendations.
THE BLACK STALLION (1979) Drama
“A young boy and a wild Arabian stallion are the only survivors of a shipwreck, and they develop a deep affection for each other. Great for adults and kids.” (VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever)
INTO THE WEST (1993) Fantasy
“An odd, likeable film about a father who hunts for his two sons who have run away from their Dublin, Ireland, home with a mythical white horse, Tir na nOg.” (Halliwell’s Film and Video Guide)
IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES (1984) Drama
“When her Beverly Hills parents spend more time working and fretting than giving hugs and love, a 10-year-old girl (Drew Barrymore) sues them for divorce.” (VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever)
THE MUPPET MOVIE (1979) Comedy
“Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and the rest of the loveably fuzzy characters created by Jim Henson embark on a wacky quest for stardom in this appealing children’s adventure.” (All Movie Guide)
It’s against the law to slurp your soup in public in New Jersey. (At home it’s okay.)
WILLOW (1988) Fantasy
“Rollicking fantasy-adventure about a little person who takes on the challenge of shepherding an abandoned baby to its place of destiny—where it will destroy the evil powers of Queen Bavmorda.” (Leonard Maltin’s Movie & Video Guide)
THE IRON GIANT (1999) Animated Adventure
“The setting is 1957; a large fireball plunges from space into the ocean off the coast of Maine. The visitor turns out to be a massive robot, designed as a ‘living weapon’—but disoriented enough to befriend a nine-year-old boy in this enchanting tale.” (Video Movie Guide)
WARGAMES (1983) Suspense
“Sooner or later, some computer is going to blow us all off the face of the planet. That’s the theme of this intelligent thriller. A computer whiz (Matthew Broderick) accidentally hacks into the government’s mainframe and challenges it to play ‘Global Thermonuclear Warfare.’ It cheerfully agrees.” (Roger Ebert’s Home Movie Companion)
EVER AFTER (1998) Fantasy
“A charming rethinking of the classic fairy tale Cinderella, with Drew Barrymore as a feisty orphan who puts her potential Prince Charming to shame with her bravery and regard for humankind.” (Leonard Maltin’s Movie & Video Guide)
Do you have scholionophobia? Of course you do! That’s another name for “fear of school.”
ELEPHANTS, PART 2
On page 81 we told you how elephants are a lot like humans. So what do elephants have that makes them so special? Two things: big brains and amazing trunks.
THEY NEVER FORGET
An elephant brain—like the human brain—is large and complex. Almost all other mammals have smaller brains compared to the size of their body, so they must rely more on instincts, or built-in instructions, to guide them. But elephants’ oversized brains allow them to learn and to pass on knowledge. This also gives them great memories—elephants can recognize other elephants, people, places, and objects that they haven’t seen for years.
NO BONES ABOUT IT
But it’s the elephant’s trunk that makes it so unique. And what exactly is a trunk? A lip? Not entirely. A nose? Kind of.
The trunk is actually a union of a nose and an upper lip—a highly sensitive, multitalented appendage that contains more than 100,000 muscles and not a single bone.
On the tip of the trunk are two fleshy buds that act like fingers. They allow an elephant to pick up a single peanut from the ground or remove tiny bugs from their skin. But the trunk is also very powerful. An adult elephant’s trunk can be seven feet long and weigh more than 300 pounds—and be strong enough to knock down an entire tree!
A human skull is actually made up of 8 bones that fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
The trunk is also an incredible sensory organ, giving elephants a better sense of smell than any other land mammal. And with the huge brain to guide it, the trunk can be put to hundreds of different uses. Here are a few:
Disciplinary Tool: Mother gently trunk-slaps her child.
Toy: Why did Junior get slapped? Because he was using his trunk to fling mud on Mom.
Bucket: A trunk can suck in more than a gallon of water to drink or wash with.
Snorkel: Elephants can walk along the bottom of a river with just the tip of their trunks sticking out for air.
Crane: If an elephant needs to reach higher, she’ll use her trunk to stack a pile of logs or rocks to stand on.
Paintbrush: Elephants in captivity have been taught to paint pictures with their trunks. Some have been shown in museums and sold for thousands of dollars!
So the next time you see an elephant in a zoo or at a game park, say hello. Chances are, your greeting will be appreciated.
Are you left-handed? If so, there’s about a 50% chance that you’re left-footed, too.
SUPERSTITIOUS?
This handy guide may get you through the day.
GETTING OUT OF BED. When you woke up, did you get out of bed on the same side you got in the night before? It’s bad luck if you didn’t.
AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE. Did you spill some salt at breakfas
t? It is said that for every grain scattered, a tear will fall. Toss a pinch of the spilled salt over your left shoulder; otherwise, bad luck will follow.
ON YOUR WAY TO SCHOOL. Was a black cat walking toward you this morning? If so, it was bringing good luck. If it was walking the other way… well, too bad for you. All your good luck just walked away.
IN SCHOOL. When you took that math test, did you use the same pencil that you used to study with? If so, you’re in luck—the pencil remembered the answers.
ON YOUR WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL. Did you see an ambulance? That’s very unlucky…unless you remembered to pinch your nose or hold your breath until you saw a brown or black dog.
DOING CHORES. Did you sweep the dirt out the door…after dark? If you did, a stranger is bound to visit.
GOING TO BED. Did you trip up the stairs on your way to bed? Guess what? You’re going to fall in love soon!
Start your engines: The average house cat spends 10,950 hours purring in its lifetime.
THMAS EDISN
The next time you switch on an electric light or go to the movies, think of Thomas Edison. Because without him, you’d be sitting in the dark, watching nothing.
UNDERACHIEVER
Thomas Alva Edison, or Al, as his friends called him, was one of the greatest inventors of all time. He was born in Ohio in 1847 but moved to Port Huron, Michigan, when he was just a boy. Those who knew him in those early days were later surprised to hear that he had made something of himself. Why? He was considered an odd child. He was extremely curious and always getting himself into trouble.
He had scarlet fever when he was a baby which damaged his hearing and may have caused learning disabilities. His first teacher said that his brain was addled and he really shouldn’t be in school. Even Edison’s father thought he was stupid. But his mother, Nancy Edison, believed in him, so she home-schooled Al—which was the best thing that ever happened to him.
MOTHER KNOWS BEST
When Al was nine, his mother brought home a book, R. G. Parker’s School of Natural and Experimental Philosophy, which had lots of scientific experiments that could be done at home. That was it! He did every single experiment. Then he begged for more books and spent every penny he could earn on chemicals. From then on, Al’s mom bought him books… but Al taught himself.
Every year, the moon moves an inch and a half farther from Earth.
BOY GENIUS
At 12, Al worked selling sandwiches, fruit, and candy to passengers on the Grand Trunk Railroad. He got on the train in the morning, spent the day in Detroit, and returned later that same night. It was a long time to be away from home, so the conductor let him set up a lab in the baggage car, where he could carry out experiments while he waited for the return trip.
When his chemicals caught fire one day, it put an end to the baggage-car lab, but that didn’t stop Al. He set up a printing press (also in the baggage car) and printed his own newspaper on the train. He called it The Grand Trunk Weekly Herald. The year was 1862 and people were anxious to read stories about the Civil War.
One morning, Al saved a little boy from being killed by a runaway boxcar. The boy’s father was the stationmaster and was so grateful that he offered to teach Al how to use the telegraph machine. In typical fashion, Al learned to be a first-rate telegrapher, built his own equipment, and became Port Huron’s official telegraph operator. And with his knowledge of the telegraph, he had all the tools he needed to start changing the world.
MOVIN’ ON UP
When Al Edison hit 21, he moved to New York to become an inventor. While working for Western Union, he made improved versions of the telegraph and the typewriter. Then he invented an electric pen that made copies of documents. In 1869 he sold several of his inventions, including the “stock ticker”—a machine that gave up-to-the-minute information about stocks and the price of gold and silver—to the Gold and Stock Company for the whopping sum of $40,000. With that money, Edison created the world’s first industrial research laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey.
Most birds take off facing into the wind, just like airplanes.
THE WIZARD OF MENLO PARK
Edison’s lab had workshops, a machine shop, a chemistry lab, a library full of technical books, and storerooms. It even had a glassblower’s house and a rooming house where many of his workers lived.
Though he was married and had children, Edison’s life revolved around the lab. In fact, there were many nights when he slept on top of a lab table. And when Edison wasn’t at work, he carried a yellow notebook and would stop in the middle of dinner or a conversation and scribble down an idea or a drawing for an invention. In his lifetime he filled more than 3,000 notepads. “I find out what the world needs,” he said. “Then I go ahead and try and invent it.”
Two most common elements: hydrogen and helium (they make up about 98% of the universe).
ANYTHING YOU CAN DO…
Edison’s work led to invention after invention, and he became known as the “Wizard of Menlo Park.” When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, Edison improved it. He invented a microphone and transmitter that made a voice come through loud and clear. In 1877 he invented a machine that could record sounds and then replay them: the phonograph.
LIGHTING UP THE WORLD
In 1878 Edison began looking for a way to use electricity to light homes. He filled hundreds of notebooks with his ideas. “I speak without exaggeration,” he said, “when I say that I have considered 3,000 theories in connection with electric light.”
Other inventors had tried to pass electric current through glass bulbs, but none of them worked very well. Edison was determined to succeed where they had failed. He experimented for more than a year trying to get a lightbulb that would glow brightly and not burn out.
Finally, in 1879, Edison perfected the electric lightbulb. It was his greatest invention. He strung lights from his workshop to the trees and houses all around Menlo Park, and soon the whole town was glowing.
In 1882 he installed a power plant in New York City and suddenly people were able to turn night into day with the flick of a switch. The success of that plant led Edison to build power plants in other cities. His invention electrified the nation and soon, the world.
“The two most common elements in the universe: hydrogen and stupidity.” —Harlan Ellison
HE KEPT GOING…AND GOING…AND…
Did Thomas Edison stop with that magnificent invention? Of course not. He also invented the movie camera, the movie projector, a talking doll, the car battery, electric meters, motors, pumps, generators, an electric railroad, and robot torpedoes, to mention just a few. In all, he is credited with more than 1,000 inventions.
He continued to create and invent until his dying day, saying, “I am long on ideas but short on time.” When the Wizard of Menlo Park passed away at 84, President Hoover honored him by having all the houses and offices across the country dim their lights as a farewell to this very bright star.
***
FIRST WORDS…
• On the telegraph: Samuel B. Morse, the inventor of the telegraph, sent the first telegraph message on May 24, 1844. His message: “What hath God wrought?”
• On the telephone: The world’s first phone call was on March 10, 1876, when Alexander Graham Bell telephoned his assistant, Mr. Watson. What did he say? “Mr. Watson, come here; I want you.”
• By e-mail: Sometime in 1972, Ray Tomlinson sent the very first e-mail message—to himself. What was the text of this historic message? Tomlinson doesn’t really remember, but thinks it was the top row of letters on the keyboard, “qwertyuiop.”
One room in the White House—the East Room—is 3,200 square feet, bigger than most houses.
ANIMA-LISTS
Here’s one of our pet projects—some ideas for naming your pet.
MOST POPULAR DOG NAMES
Girl dog
Lady
Maggie
Sadie
Molly
Brandy
> Princess
Samantha
Sheba
Sandy
Missy
Boy dog
Max
Buddy
Bear
Shadow
Bailey
Jake
Rocky
Duke
Lucky
Rusty
FAMOUS FICTIONAL DOGS
Snoopy
Lassie
Benji
Rin Tin Tin
Scooby Doo
Old Yeller
Clifford
Lady
Beethoven
Hooch
DOG or CAT PAIRS
Ben & Jerry
Beauty & Beast
Cookies & Cream
Frank & Stein
Peeka & Boo
Barbie & Ken
Rock & Roll
Peanut Butter & Jelly
MOST POPULAR CAT NAMES
Boy cat
Max
Sam
Simba
Charlie
Oliver
Oscar
Gizmo
Buddy
Toby
Spike
Girl cat
Sassy
Misty
Princess
Samantha
Lucy
Missy