Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess

by Jen Calonita

  "Okay," Sky says and smiles. "So that means we have time for that story. Please?"

  Melli smiles. "Well, your father and I were on our way to this big charity thing that your granddaddy insisted we go to and . . ." Melli continues to ad-lib with Spencer breaking in for a few minutes until Tom finally says the magic words.

  "CUT! That's a final print for Family Affair!"

  And suddenly everyone on set is clapping and cheering and it's so loud you can barely hear anyone sobbing. We're all hugging each other and crying. Someone starts blasting Rihanna and Pete from crafty is passing around cookies that look like every cast and crewmember there. Matty hugs me and then Trevor gives me a huge kiss on the cheek, before making his way over to Sky, who he practically suffocates with a passionate smack on the lips. (I told him how supportive Sky was of me at the PYA junket and I think he was really touched.) No one else notices them making out. We're all too busy celebrating, and grieving, and enjoying the moment. One that I kind of hope lasts for a long time. I grab Rodney and Matty and start dancing. We throw Nadine in the middle of our circle and she lets loose. We dance to four or five songs. I don't even care about my Sidekick buzzing and buzzing in my back pocket.

  This is my final FA moment and I'm going to make it last.

  The rest of my life can wait.

  Seth@CC: KAITLIN, WE'VE GOT TO TALK. I'VE GOT NEWS AND I NEED AN ANSWER ASAP.

  LaneyPeters: Kaitlin???? Kaitlin Burke??? HELLOOOOO! Seth is trying to reach U! Why aren't U or Nadine picking up your phones? Is everything okay? PLEASE promise you'll have no bad press today.

  BurkeMgt: KAITLIN??? Now is not the time to go shopping again! WHERE IS NADINE??? CALL US AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Mom

  ROADRULZ84: Hi Kaitlin. It's Dad. Mom got me a BlackBerry, but I still can't figure out all the buttons. I think I'm emailing you. Mom said to keep it short. She's trying to reach you. She got a call from Seth and Laney about Meeting of the Minds. They want to meet with you again, but it has to be tonight so Mom wants to know what time you'll be done with shooting. Can you find out from Tom? I know it's your last day, but do you think you'll be done before 8 PM? That would be great because I END MESSAGE

  ROADRULZ84: Oops. Guess I hit send before I was END MESSAGE

  Sixteen: An Affair to Remember

  "To Kaitlin and Matty for a job well done on a fabulous TV show," Dad holds his champagne flute high in the air.

  "Kaitlin and Matty!" Our table cheers.

  It's been a week since we wrapped Family Affair's final taping and tonight is our wrap party at Parc, this cool restaurant/club on Hollywood Boulevard. Our entire cast and crew plus friends and family were invited, so we're a pretty large group. Good thing we've closed this place down for our private bash. Austin, Liz, Matty, Nadine, Rodney, Laney, Mom, and Dad are sitting in a deep booth with me. None of us can stop smiling.

  Parc is a really pretty spot for a party. The modern space is decorated in all grays and creams, with walnut wood paneling and archways. There are great booths, beautiful ebony table tops, and a high lacquered bar, but the piece de résistance is the fourteen-foot tree in the center of the dining room that is surrounded by twenty-four Swarovski crystal smoked globe pendants. Our table is covered with food. Most of the dishes are meant for sharing, so we've ordered everything from clay pot-baked black pepper caramel cod to grilled black angus tenderloin with truffled soy bearnaise.

  "You look happy." Austin leans over and nuzzles my neck. I blush, wondering who is watching.

  "I am happy," I admit. "I mean, I'm a little sad. It was weird getting up all week and having nowhere to go. I just hung around waiting for Monique to tutor me. But I think I could get used to not running every day of my life."

  "For now." Austin makes an interesting face. "I don't think you're the type to sit still for long."

  "Well . . ." I laugh. "I'm not going to be sitting around long anyway, I guess."

  "I'd like to thank Tom," Matty keeps the toasts going and holds his vanilla Coke. He looks around the room for FA's creator and director, but he's nowhere in sight. "He knows talent when he sees it. Scooby is going to rock!"

  "I love how modest your brother is," Liz whispers in my other ear. We both giggle.

  It's been a good week. Liz and I are back to being our inseparable selves, Austin got his license and gets to borrow his mom's Ford Explorer now to take us around town. (Mom lifted my grounding. She still makes Rodney tail us.) Matty finished his Scooby pilot. I took my SATs and felt pretty confident that I would get a decent score. And . . .

  "To New York and Kaitlin's Broadway debut!" Mom holds up her glass and grins.

  Yep. I'm moving to New York for a few months this spring to make my stage -- and Broadway -- debut. On the last day of FA shooting, Seth got the offer for me to play Andie in Meeting of the Minds. I'm really nervous and excited, but I haven't had any panic attacks. I know I can tackle live theater. And maybe doing something other than TV or movies for a short while will be a good change for me.

  "So I was thinking we should start planning some activities for Kaitlin while she's in New York," I hear my Mom confide in Laney. "Some appearances at some great parties and Broadway premieres, and let's see if we can get a list of Hamptons events."

  "You do realize Kaitlin is working six days a week and is usually only off on Mondays, right?" Laney tells her. "She's not going to have a lot of time for parties."

  My mom ignores her. "She'll make time. I just want to have everything in order since you won't be with us." Mom actually looks worried.

  "I'll be there plenty," Laney insists. "Russell has to do GMA and Regis and God knows I can't let him go on alone, and Reese is accepting an award from Glamour in July, and then there's my summer share in the Hamptons with Cameron."

  "Basically, what you're saying is we're going to be seeing you a lot," Nadine fills in the blanks and winks at me.

  Thank God she's coming with me too. The whole family decided to pack up and join me in New York. (If Matty's show gets picked up for the fall, he'll need to be back in July, which is when my three-month run ends anyway.) I'm not sure if it's to keep me out of trouble or just to run my life, but I'm glad I won't be alone. I just wish Austin and Liz were coming with me too. But we all have different lives to live, I know.

  "We should discuss the apartment situation," Dad says. "I've been looking at a bunch of real estate and I'm torn between something expansive in the Village or a high-rise near midtown so that it's easier for Kate-Kate to get to work. It's going to be rough not having wheels to take us everywhere."

  Dad is having a tough time getting used to the fact that he won't be driving a lot for a few months. Me, I'm glad, since I'm no closer to getting my license today than I was three months ago. Taking driving lessons is at the top of my to-do list -- as soon as we get back from New York.

  "Now Kaitlin, you realize your room in New York is going to be much smaller than the one at home," my dad tells me. "As a matter of fact, you're going to have to bunk up, like the rest of us."

  "I have to share a room with Matty?" I freak.

  "I am not sharing a room with her, Dad," Matty pipes up. "Everything she owns is pink! And her clothes will take over the whole closet. I can't get my Prada squished!"

  "You two aren't rooming together. Your sister has another roommate," Dad says.

  Matty and I look at Nadine. She shakes her head firmly. "I already told your parents that if I'm coming, and we all have to live together, I get my own room. I need some privacy."

  Now I'm really confused. "Who am I rooming with?" I want to know.

  "Me," Liz yells.

  "What?" I shriek.

  "I got in the program," Liz says. "At NYU. The summer one. My dad talked to your dad and instead of living on campus, I'm going to be your roomie this summer!"

  We both scream and Laney holds her ears.

  "I don't believe it!" I freak. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I only found out on Wednesday," Liz e
xplains. "And I wanted to surprise you. Can you believe it, Kates? You and me in New York together. Like we've always wanted."

  "I know!" I exclaim. "This is going to be amazing."

  "Hopefully it will keep her out of trouble," Mom says to Dad.

  "I can hear you, you know," I remind her.

  "Hey, Burkes," Tom walks over to our table in an Armani suit and tie. He's never this dressed up on set so it's funny to see. "Have you put in your bids for the auction yet?"

  We're auctioning off the wall-size portraits of the cast that hung in the Family Affair studio. They actually cut the sheet rock right out of the wall so that we could take each wall down and sell them to the highest bidder. The money raised from each person's portrait will go to a different charity. (Mine is going to DonorsChoose.org, a group that funds books and classroom materials for schools that can't afford it.)

  "Tom, if we win, do we have to take the portrait?" Mom asks sweetly. Dad nudges her. "I just mean, I'm not sure Kaitlin's wall-size portrait really goes with what we have in our house and I just had a decorator redo the living room, so . . ."

  "You can donate them, Meg," Tom says, his face twitching slightly. "Maybe Kaitlin would sign it and we can give it away. What do you think, Kates?" I nod yes.

  "I would have been happy to do that myself, but I never got a portrait," Matty sniffs. The regular cast members all have cast portraits, but the recurring stars, like Matty, didn't get them.

  "Maybe you'll have one for your new show," I say encouragingly and Tom winks at me.

  "That's a good idea! We should talk about that, Tom," Matty looks excited now.

  "Why don't we wait for a full-season pickup," Tom laughs. "Who knows? If we take off, we can hire your sister to guest-star."

  "That's what I said," Matty admits.

  "That's what everyone keeps offering me!" I laugh. "Well, I will be unemployed after July."

  "I'm sure it won't be for long," Tom tells me. "I bet someone will woo you back to TV before you know it."

  "I don't know," I smirk. "I have to say I enjoy not getting up at five AM anymore."

  The more I think about things -- and I've had a lot of time to think this week while I've been lying by our pool -- I secretly think I would like to be on another TV show. I know some actors complain about playing the same character for months or years, but if you have a great character, and awesome scripts, there's so much ground to cover. I loved playing Sam, but I would kill to take on an action series, kind of like the stuff I did for PYA. I can so see me scaling buildings in leather pants. I could be a modern day Princess Leia! But if I do get the chance to go back to TV, I won't charge a fortune like some people I know.

  HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER SIXTEEN: How much stars get paid to stay on hit shows. Networks will do anything to have a hit show and they still seem to think a bankable name is a way to make money. I know some small film stars that command $80,000 an episode to head to the small screen. But some insiders are starting to worry that the fan connection can be ruined when they hear a star makes over $150,000 an episode. You don't want to be seen as a gold-digger. One of these days, salaries are going to take a huge nosedive. I just know it.

  "I think I'm going to bid on one of the portraits," I tell everyone. Mom raises her right eyebrow. "Do you think I could get an advance on my allowance?"

  "At this rate, you're not going to have an allowance again till you're twenty," Mom tells me. I give her a pleading look. "But I guess this is for a good cause so go ahead. But don't bid too much!"

  Austin follows me. He grabs my hand. His is warm and I hold it tightly.

  "What am I going to do without you all summer?" He asks. He's smiling, but he looks serious. Almost sad. I realize we haven't talked about this separation yet. Austin got into his lacrosse camp so he and his buddy Rob Murray are going to be in San Antonio, Texas, all summer working on their lacrosse moves.

  "I don't know," I admit softly. "What am I going to do without you? New York is one of the most romantic cities in the world and I'm not going to have my boyfriend to share it with."

  Austin moves us into a dark corner near the wine storage area by the bar. We stare at each other. This is the first time we'll really be apart since we started dating. Three whole months is a long time. But this is who I am and this is who Austin is so I guess it was coming eventually. If it didn't happen now, it would probably happen next year when he went to college. But now that the time is staring us straight in the face the whole thing feels very real and I'm afraid to hear what Austin thinks.

  "What do we do?" I ask nervously. Does Austin think we should take a break? What if he falls for some hot sporty lacrosse player? His camp is co-ed.

  Austin gives me an odd look. "What do you mean? Did you want to take a break?"

  "NO!" I say it a little forcefully. "I mean, not unless you wanted to." Please say no. Please, please say no.

  Austin smiles. "I like you, Burke. No, in fact, I love you. You're the one I want to be with -- whether you're thousands of miles away or standing right in front of me."

  Awww . . . he still loves me! That's a relief. He hasn't said it in a long time so I was getting kind of worried.

  "Good." I look down shyly. "Because I love you too. And who knows? Maybe you can come visit me."

  "I plan on sitting in that theater and seeing you at least once," Austin promises. I look up and see his face, staring at mine so intently. His blue eyes so serious, his windswept bangs hanging in his eyes, his neck smelling like Beckham, his navy Polo button-down, which makes him look better than any guy here in a Prada suit . . . I am so into this boy. And when he stares at me like this, I still go weak in the knees.

  "Who knows? Maybe I can come see you in Texas." I start to ramble as he traces a finger along my bare shoulder. Tonight I'm wearing a strapless white dress with black lace and tiny black DKNY heels. "I don't have a weekend off or anything, but I bet I could fly out Sunday night after my performance and come back Tuesday AM. Nadine could probably book me a flight or if she can't I could get a jet or something. I'm sure I could convince Mom to let me do it if I --" Austin kisses me and I finally stop talking.

  "We'll work it out," he says. And I know when he says that, he means it.

  "Okay," I agree and push my hair off my neck. It's down and super curly tonight and suddenly I'm feeling very warm.

  "You two need to get a room," Sky says as she tries to slide past us. She's wearing what looks like a John Galliano. It's a tan halter-style empire waist dress with little black flowers. Her hair has been ironed pin straight. On her arm is the best accessory she could hope for -- Trevor. I think they're finally seeing each other again.

  "You're one to talk," I tell Sky. "You two haven't come up for air all night!"

  Trevor and Sky look at each other and blush. "Congrats on your play," Sky tells me. "I saw that show when I was in London and it was fabulous."

  "Thanks," I tell her. "I'm looking forward to it."

  "Maybe when you get back we could go on a double date," Trevor says hopefully.

  Sky and I look at each other. Double with Sky? We're both at a loss for words at that one.

  Thankfully, Melli interrupts before we have to answer that question. "There you all are!" she says. Melli looks dazzling in a shimmery blue dress, her hair pulled back in a small tight ponytail. She puts an arm around me. "I was just talking to your moms, girls. I was telling them how much I missed seeing you two this week. I feel like one of my kids went to college."

  "We talked every day," I remind her. "But yeah, it was weird not to bust into your dressing room and complain about Sky or boy problems." I glance at Austin. "Not that I have any."

  "You are the queen of smart PR moves," Melli tells me. "I'm so excited that you're going to do Broadway. I did it once in my twenties and it was exhilarating. Grueling, but a ton of fun working with a live audience. You're going to wow them. I'm trying to convince my husband to take a trip to New York so we can see you. Tom says he wants to come too.
"

  "Really?" I'm so touched I don't know what to say. "I would love that."

  "Good." Melli's eyes look watery. "Because you're not rid of me just because I'm not down the hall."

  Now I feel the sniffles coming on. "Thank God for that," I tell her. I give her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Melli."

  "And as for my other daughter," Melli says, putting an arm around Sky, "I love your new pilot. I read the script and it sounds like it's a shoo-in for the fall schedule."

  Sky's show does sound incredible. The True You book says to be happy for her, but it's kind of hard. A tiny part of me is still jealous that I screwed that one up.

  "Thanks," Sky gushes. "The role is to die for and my director said I killed on the pilot. If we get picked up, the show is going to be Emmy-nominated for sure."

  I smile sweetly because I'm afraid I'll accidentally say something I regret.

  "This could be the last time you two see each other for a while," Melli tells us, sounding a lot like Paige, "and I want to make sure you two part on good terms." I feel my shoulders tense. "You don't want to burn too many bridges in this town, girls," Melli continues when neither of us speaks up. "Hollywood may seem like a big place, but everyone knows everyone here and chances are you'll find yourselves doing a project together down the road or bump into each other at the same functions."

  Sky and I look at each other.

  "I don't think you have to worry about us anymore," I tell Melli, even though I'm still looking at Sky. "We understand each other now and I think if our work paths cross again we're going to be okay."

  "More than okay," Sky says and then actually smiles.

  "Could I have everyone's attention?" Tom interrupts. He has a microphone and is addressing the large crowd. "We're going to get to the auction in a little bit, but I know several people wanted to make speeches and I want to be the one to start."

  Austin, Melli, Sky, Trevor, and I make our way to where Tom is standing. I can see Mom, Dad, Matty, Rodney, and Nadine, and Austin and I walk over to them. In the crowd, I see Pete from crafty, Paul and Shelly, and Renee from wardrobe. We listen as Tom talks about his first season on the show, his favorite episode, and how proud he is of everything we've achieved over the years. Melli is the next to take the mic and she tells a hilarious story about shooting her first kissing scene with Spencer. One by one, cast members volunteer to speak. Finally, it's my turn.