Chapter 16
Miles
* * *
I had Nessa’s legs around my shoulders and her sweet pussy on my face. I needed nothing more in the world. I groaned as I licked and sucked, spreading her folds with my fingers as I delved my tongue deep inside her.
My hips worked as we lay on our sides, my cock sliding between Nessa’s lips gently as she licked at me. We were in my bed, the two of us taking our time pleasuring one another before classes.
We’d barely had time to see each other over the past week between school and work, but we were stealing this time for ourselves. And having Nessa’s pussy on my face was the best way to enjoy that time.
“Miles,” she moaned as I touched her just right.
I grinned, then went back to my breakfast, taking my fill until, finally, she came, her body bowing as her mouth tightened on my dick. The dueling sensations sent shivers over my body, and I came, stilling my hips so I wouldn’t pound into her mouth like my body wanted to.
I gently petted her thighs, bringing her down off her high as I did the same, and when she groaned again, leaning her head on my inner thigh, I moved so I sat, and she could lay on my lap as I ran my hands all over her body.
“That’s one way to wake up,” she whispered, looking up at me, her body warm, her nipples hard, her skin pink and dewy. I gently cupped her breasts, running my thumb across her nipple before leaning down to kiss her. She looked up at me and grinned.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hi. I know you have to go to class, but I’m glad you stayed the night. This was the best way to wake up.”
She smiled, even though her eyes looked slightly bashful. Spending the night was a big deal, something we hadn’t done before. Ensuring each other that we weren’t taking too big of a step or deluding ourselves that this could only be for a night was a tricky balancing act. At least, that’s what I told myself as I slowly ran my hands down her body again.
“I hate that I have to get to class soon.”
“You can shower and get ready here,” I whispered.
“I do need to at least shower because I don’t need to be smelling like sex as I’m sitting in the middle of statistics.” My cock hardened at her words, and considering that she was lying on my lap, she laughed.
“There is no time for more of that, mister.”
“I can’t help it. I feel like we should make time.”
I trailed my fingers down to cup her between the legs, and she arched into me.
“Miles,” she warned, and I grinned.
“I’m sorry,” I said, not sorry in the slightest.
“I’m going to use your shower, and then I’m heading to class. So, you’d better stop fingering me or we’ll never leave.”
I had two fingers deep inside her as she arched, and I flicked my thumb over her clit, gently bringing her to another release that surprised us both.
She blinked up at me, her mouth parted. “Well, then, it seems that all that studying has led to amazing things.”
“I try my best.” I patted her hip, then helped her sit up before kissing her again. “I’m meeting with my brother today, and then I have to do a few things around the house and grade some papers. Will I see you later?”
I didn’t like the need in my voice because I wasn’t sure what answer I wanted. If I saw Nessa later, did that mean it meant something? Or were we counting down the days until we left each other?
What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just take things one day at a time? Instead, I had to keep twisting it in my head to us leaving each other rather than us spending time with one another now.
There was indeed something wrong with me. I needed to take a step back and breathe. Only I didn’t think that was going to happen. Not when it came to Nessa.
“I’m not sure,” she said, hedging. I understood.
While I was falling in love with her, she did her best not to fall into anything with me. While I understood it, it didn’t make it any easier. I kissed her again and then helped her get out of bed so she could shower. I did my best not to think about her in there. All naked and wet and ready for me. She had to go to school. And I needed some distance.
If I weren’t careful, I wouldn’t want to let her go.
The first rule of our relationship was that we needed to let each other go.
Even if it broke me in the end.
She left soon after, kissing me goodbye, and I was grateful that I didn’t see any of the roommates as I walked her out. I didn’t need their questioning glances or, worse, their pitying ones. While Pacey and Dillon were in serious relationships that I knew could and would last forever, everybody knew mine wasn’t. This was only supposed to be a fling, a time between friends.
It wasn’t for me, though, and that was something I would have to deal with.
I quickly showered, cleaning up after the long evening and just trying to push out thoughts of Nessa. We had only started our relationship. I couldn’t be in anything more than like with her.
I needed to focus on grading, homework, and my brother. He had a teacher workday and planned to spend a couple of hours with me before my parents got off work. Mom was only working a half-day, so I was babysitting the kid who didn’t need supervision every hour of every day. I wasn’t going to say that because it wasn’t my place anymore. Aaron was my brother, not my kid. I had already shown them that I wasn’t good at making choices when it came to keeping my siblings safe—at least according to them and my nightmares. I didn’t need to break down and hurt Aaron in the process.
I made my way downstairs, got myself a cup of coffee, and pulled out a bagel with some cream cheese. Dillon and Pacey were already gone, and Tanner was probably still sleeping. I knew he worked late and needed as much sleep as possible. He worked even longer hours than Nessa did, and I wasn’t sure how he kept up with his classes and workload.
I shook my head and then looked down at my phone as the motion sensor alerted that someone was out there. Aaron waved at the camera, and I grinned, stuck half a bagel in my mouth, and made my way to the front door. I opened it. Aaron smiled and stole the bagel from me, eating the rest of it in three bites. I shook my head, my lips twitching. “That was mine.”
“You were too slow. Got any more?”
“I do. Come on.”
“Mom said I had to do my homework.”
“You do. I have some grading and homework, as well. Did Mom and Dad not come in to drop you off?” I asked him while frowning.
“Mom is probably still watching us.” He waved over his shoulder, and I looked up and indeed saw my mom’s car there, she flashed her lights and then drove off. I shook my head.
“Okay, time for babysitting.”
“I’m not a baby.”
I grinned at the affront in his voice and headed to the kitchen. I pulled out two more bagels and toasted them as I made hot cocoa for the kid.
“I like coffee, too.”
“I’m not giving you coffee. I’m not dealing with the wrath of Mom and Dad.”
“We all know that wrath is interesting,” he grumbled, and I gave him a look.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just normal parent stuff.”
“Normal parent stuff that gets you all grumbly?”
I handed over the hot cocoa and proceeded to spread cream cheese over both bagels. I plated one of them for him and the other for me and gave him a look. “Spill the beans, kid.”
“They’re just stressing out because they know you’re leaving, and that means they’re tightening the strings on me. I’m not even allowed to join soccer next year because of all the away games.”
I set my coffee on the island, my eyes wide. “What?” Shock slammed into me. Aaron was a legitimately fantastic soccer player. He played club ball and for the school team. I knew that if he kept at it, he could likely get a scholarship. Maybe not go pro unless he wanted to, but he had choices. I had always been semi-athletic, but academic classes h
ad been more interesting to me, so I had only played soccer for a couple of years. It wasn’t my thing. For Aaron? It was his life.
“How is that okay?” I asked.
“It’s not. They’re saying no. That I’m spending too much time on it and not on school. And, honestly, because I’m not there with them enough. The travel schedule for next year is double what it is now. And while I realize it would take a lot of time and effort on Mom’s and Dad’s parts, they’re more worried about me not being at their beck and call. Or at least under their thumbs.”
I frowned. “What the hell? I can talk to them.”
He shook his head, and I knew what he was going to say next. “It would only make it worse.”
And that was the truth. Me standing up for my brother would indeed only make it worse. How the hell had it gotten this way? I hated it.
“You’re going to be gone next year. Off at grad school like you should be, which means I’m not going to be able to see you. Unless you come back for the holidays.”
“Maybe I can find a way to stay. There are enough universities in Colorado that if I stay, I can do my grad school thing here and still be able to help out.” Part of me wanted to stay in the state anyway. I had friends here.
“Would you be hurting your dream in the process?”
I frowned. “I don’t know. CU has a good program. And stipends. It was on my list anyway.” Not at the top of it because I had wanted to move, but my brother needed me. And, fuck, Nessa would be here, too. Not that I could let her be the central part of my decisions.
Still, there had to be something I could do.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Aaron said, picking at his bagel.
I nodded. “No problem. Let’s talk about classes.”
“Or we can just play games,” he said, grinning.
“No, I have work to do. Therefore, you have work to do.” The doorbell rang again, and I frowned, looking down at the motion sensor.
My stomach tightened, and I held back a curse.
“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.
“Mom is back,” I growled.
Aaron gave me a sad look. “Glad I didn’t unpack,” he grumbled.
“I guess not,” I whispered and headed to the door.
Mom raised her chin, even though she had a smile on her face. “It turns out I have the day off, so you don’t need to stick with Aaron. I’ll take him home.”
“We’re good here.”
“I’m sure you are. But you know, just in case.”
She didn’t need to finish that statement. Just in case. Just in case I got drunk and behind the wheel. Just in case I killed my baby brother like I had killed my twin. I knew what she meant.
I looked at my mother then, and I didn’t see a single lick of trust in her eyes. She didn’t trust me with him.
If I stayed in Colorado, if I fought for Aaron to stay in soccer and do what he loved, she would continue not trusting me. Maybe that would be worth it, though. Aaron needed an advocate. And, somehow, my parents weren’t that.
Aaron stood behind me, his bag over his shoulder. “Okay. Bye, Miles.”
He wasn’t even fighting it anymore. Then again, was I?
“Did you have hot chocolate? What’s on your lip?” Mom asked, her eyes narrowed.
“Yes, he had hot chocolate. And I had coffee. I didn’t let him have coffee. How’s that?” I asked, my tone grating.
My mom narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have to speak to me that way.”
“Just go.” I sighed.
“Miles...” Aaron began.
“I’ll see you soon.”
“We’ll see,” my mom shot back, and my eyes widened.
“No, I’ll see him soon. And we’re going to have a talk.”
“Excuse me?” my mom said, and it felt off. They had been so overprotective of me for so long. But now, they seemed to have switched their focus to Aaron. Which meant I was the one being pushed out. What the hell had happened?
“Bye, Mom,” I whispered and looked at Aaron. “Goodbye. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay,” Aaron said, his shoulders hunched.
Mom gave me a look but headed down the front steps, Aaron in tow.
I needed to fix this. Somehow, I needed to fix this. It wasn’t going to happen standing on my porch when I didn’t have a plan in place.
I closed the door, leaned my head against the wood, and groaned.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I whirled and looked at Tanner, who had my cup of coffee in his hand, sipping.
“Why does everyone keep stealing shit from me?”
“I’d say it’s because you let it happen, but I’m not going to kick a puppy right now.”
“I’m not a fucking puppy,” I growled.
“No, you’re not. I’m serious if you want to talk.”
“They don’t fucking trust me.”
“Did you do something to cause that?”
I looked at him then and realized he didn’t know. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.”
I sighed and told him the tragic story of Rachelle. I didn’t go into too much detail, not as much as I had with Nessa because I wasn’t sure I could, but I told him as much as I was able.
Tanner’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and he set down my coffee. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
My gut churned. “Me, too. I can’t bring her back. It seems all I can do is make my parents not trust me over and over again.”
“You need to talk to them about it.”
“They’re not going to listen.”
“For Aaron’s sake—and yours—you need to try.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I think I’m going to have to stay in Colorado, though. Try to get into CU. I’m working on applications now. It was always on the list, but now I need to make it a priority.”
“And that would make you closer to Nessa,” he said.
I looked up at him then and shook my head. “All the mistakes I’ve made? Everything on Nessa’s shoulders? She’s going to need someone who can actually be there for her. Someone who’s enough. Do you think I’m that guy?” I hadn’t even realized I’d said the words until they were out of my mouth. I wanted to take them back.
Tanner looked at me then and shook his head. My stomach fell, but then he spoke. “Sometimes, you’re more than you think you are, Miles. Remember that. You’re a good guy. You don’t need to figure everything out right now. You can take your time. And we’re here for you. Now, I’m taking your coffee and going back to my room to work. You should go work, too.”
I growled and took my coffee back. “Make your own.”
Tanner grinned and winked. “That’s a start. That’s a start.”
Then my roommate walked off, and I shook my head, wondering why the hell everyone was testing me today.
And what the hell I was going to do about it.
Chapter 17
Nessa
* * *
I smiled up at the sky as I lifted my face to the sun, closing my eyes. It felt so good to breathe, to be out in the outside world and know what the weather was without having to look it up on my phone. I had been sequestered in my room on campus and at work for what seemed like forever, trying to get caught up. I was working as many hours as Everly could provide to me, and I still wasn’t sure it would be enough to pay whatever my loans and stipends and scholarships didn’t cover for the rest of the following semester. I didn’t want to take Dad’s money when I knew he needed it more.
Tuition would be calling any day now, and as I looked at the mail in my hand, I knew it was coming up quickly. My final installment was due; I saw the red words on the envelope in my hand. And I knew that if I weren’t careful, they wouldn’t let me back. This last semester might be for nothing because I still had one little payment left that wasn’t so tiny. I’d kept telling myself that I would be fine for a few more months, but now those months had run out. Be
ing on a payment plan meant I needed to plan, and though I had, it still didn’t seem to be enough.
I groaned, annoyed with myself for ruining this slice of warmth I had let myself have. We were nearing winter, fall having come and gone out of nowhere. And Colorado winters meant four seasons per day sometimes, and below-freezing wasn’t out of bounds.
Still, right now, it was warm on my face, and I needed to remember that and soak it in. There was light in the darkness, a way out of the cold.
I let out a breath and went through the rest of the mail, organizing it by person and household issues. I stepped inside, set my keys on the entryway table, and put each set of mail into piles. The final piece had me frowning as I picked up the letter postmarked for the city, with Miles’ name in the corner. I frowned and opened it, a smile slowly sliding onto my face.
Thinking of you. Just wanted you to know I believe in you.
I grinned and set the note down on the table. I couldn’t believe he’d wasted a stamp on that, but it made me smile, so maybe it wasn’t a waste, after all. I shook my head, clutched the letter to my chest, and went back to my room, setting it down with my other things. I also had the bill in my hand and tried not to think about that too hard. I had to open it.
I swallowed hard, wondering if it was too early to have a drink, and opened up the letter. I nearly dropped it, my hands shaking.
I knew how much I owed, but there were fees and taxes there that hadn’t been before. Or maybe I had missed them. I didn’t know. But, dear God, with the added medical insurance that came with school, I wasn’t sure I would be able to afford to do anything. And I needed medical insurance. I had medicine that I took daily. I had asthma and needed my inhaler. Yet I couldn’t breathe just then.
I wouldn’t be able to afford next semester. There was no way unless Dad sold the house immediately or I won the lottery.
I couldn’t afford this final payment. And if I didn’t ask my dad, who I knew wouldn’t be able to help, not with Mom’s medical bills chomping at his heels, I would have to drop out.
My Next Play Page 15
