Sherlock Holmes Edwardian Parodies and Pastiches II

by Bill Peschel

  “You say that Walraven went to a hardware establishment and procured a rifle.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  “First-class. Old Pinkney would have said that he went to a hardware store and bought a rifle.”

  “That’s because he is rather low in his manner of expression, isn’t it?”

  “Assuredly; and, again, you say that Walraven partook of refreshments.”

  “How does that strike you?”

  “Way up.”

  “What would Pinkney have said?”

  “Oh, in his vulgar way he would have said that Walraven ate supper or luncheon or something of that sort.”

  “I wonder that he does not learn better,” said the reporter.

  [Back] Bowlder: An archaic spelling of boulder.

  [Back] Held Jones’ valuables: Spitzen is acting as combination timekeeper and Jones’ second as if at a boxing match.

  [Back] Rarebit: Welsh rarebit is a simple dish consisting of melted cheese mixed with stout or milk, mustard, egg yolks, and Worcestershire sauce, and poured over fried or toasted bread. It was originally called Welsh rabbit, possibly because the people were believed so poor they couldn’t afford meat.

  [Back] Ne plus ultra: Ultimate or most perfect. From the Latin for “no more beyond.”

  [Back] Stick came down: Rockets were attached to sticks which were driven into the ground. When lit, it would fly up with the rocket and come down after the explosion.

  [Back] Epping forest: A 6,000-acre ancient woodland northeast of London. The former royal forest, now roughly 12 miles long and as wide as 4 miles, has been preserved by the City of London.

  [Back] Five napoleons: French gold coins, originally minted in denominations from 5 to 100 francs, although the 20 franc coin was most commonly used. They were circulated from 1800, when Bonaparte rose to power, to 1914. Originally named for the emperor, whose face appeared on them, the name stuck after he was deposed. The 20 franc coins were accepted throughout Europe; several countries minted their own versions, making it the forerunner of the Euro. The last coins France minted, and which Lestrade was referring to, featured a harvest goddess on the front side and a rooster on the back. About this time, a franc was worth about 19 cents, so 20 were worth $3.80. If Lestrade was referring to the 20 franc pieces, he would have paid $19. It’s also likely that Smiley was making a sly reference to “The Adventure of the Six Napoleons,” which was published in 1904.

  [Back] Admit the soft impeachment: An admission of a fault or condition (such as being hungry) that’s not very serious. Although not used anymore, it was so popular that Fowler’s Modern English used it as an example of a terrible cliché alongside “filthy lucre,” “tender mercies,” and “suffer a sea change.”

  [Back] Jubilee cups: Memorabilia celebrating a milestone year in Queen Victoria’s rule. Her 50-year Golden Jubilee was celebrated in 1887, and her 60-year Diamond Jubilee in 1897.

  [Back] Belgian hairs: The hair/hare pun refers to a Belgian hare, a domestic rabbit bred to resemble a wild hare. Imported to America as pets in 1877, they grew so popular that the National Belgian Hare Club was formed.

  [Back] Dark lantern: A lantern made to hold a candle that has a shutter that can be opened when light is needed. When the door is closed, no light spills out.

  [Back] Carte blanche: A French phrase meaning a blank check. Figuratively, it means being given absolute power to use at your discretion.

  [Back] Station fly: A light carriage drawn by a horse, used to carry passengers or deliver goods. Carriages of this type were available for hire at most train stations.

  [Back] Incubus: A demon in male form who has sex with sleeping women.

  [Back] En passant: French phrase meaning “in passing.”

  [Back] Kara Baigarama: A river in the Ural Mountains marking the line between European and Asiatic Russia.

  [Back] Bloater: A cold-smoked herring, named because they swell while being prepared.

  [Back] Water on the brain: A medical condition called hydrocephalus in which fluid builds up on the brain, causing convulsions and mental disability. It has many causes, including head trauma.

  [Back] Official negotiations: Baring’s story takes place during the end of a long period of struggle, known as “the Great Game,” between Russia and Great Britain over Afghanistan, China, Iran, Iraq, India, Mongolia, and Tibet. Russia sought to destabilize British influence in the region in an attempt to secure warm-water ports and favorable trade treaties. The Trans-Siberian Railway, then under construction, was seen as a way to increase trade with the Far East, and also to speed Russian troops where needed. The era drew to a close when Russia suffered a decisive defeat during its war with Japan in 1904-5, encouraging reformist and rebellious groups to agitate for change within Russia. With the growing German Empire seen as a new threat in Europe, both Britain and Russia attempted to overcome decades of mistrust and form an alliance.

  [Back] Ufa: A large city in Bashkortostan, southern Russia.

  [Back] Shouba: A fur coat or cloak lined with fur, commonly made of sheepskin.

  [Back] Drawn by three horses: This is a troika (Russian for trio), the country’s traditional method of pulling a sleigh. The horses are harnessed side by side, and the middle horse sets a trotting pace while the outside horses canter.

  [Back] Transbaikalia: A mountainous region east of Lake Baikal and north of Mongolia.

  [Back] Elzevir editions: Publications from a family of Dutch printers and publishers from the 17th and early 18th centuries. They are renowned for two editions of the New Testament in Greek, a series of works by French authors on history and politics, and a line of Latin, French, and Italian classics. Their best books are sought by bibliophiles for their elegant design and the excellent quality of the paper and printing.

  [Back] Undress military tunic: An informal uniform worn every day, as opposed to the dress uniform worn on official occasions.

  [Back] Turkestan: Literally meaning “the land of the Turks,” it refers to an area inhabited by Turkish peoples in Central Asia stretching east of the Caspian Sea and into western China. It includes the present-day states of Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Chinese Turkestan.

  [Back] Iodoform stain: A pale-yellow substance used as a disinfectant. That would indicate he had been in the hands of his dentist.

  [Back] Shooting suit: A traditional suit modified to be worn while hunting. The shooting jacket could come with leather patches on the elbow, and a patch on the right shoulder where the stock of a rifle would rest.

  [Back] Vindt: A Russian card game similar to bridge and whist.

  [Back] Préférence: A card game originating in Eastern Europe and popular in Russia that is played by three players with a 32-card piquet deck. It is a bidding game similar to bridge in which players bid to fulfill a contract. The highest bidder wins the privilege, a trump suit is established, and the other two players try to prevent him from succeeding.

  [Back] Skat: A popular German card game using a 32-card deck (with ranks in four suits from Ace to 7) in which three persons play cards in an attempt to take as many tricks as possible.

  [Back] Saxo Berussen Korps: The Corps Saxo-Borussia is a student group at the University of Heidelberg. Drawn from the ranks of the wealthy and titled, its members participate in honor-based sword duels that, when done properly, result in a distinctive dueling scar on the face.

  [Back] Kontora: The word for an administrative office is from the German kontor.

  [Back] Moujiks: An archaic Russian spelling of peasant.

  [Back] Sarsenet: A fine-weaved soft fabric commonly made of silk, now used for linings.

  [Back] Astrakhan: A type of wool noted for its loose curls. Astrakhan is a port on Russia’s Volga River where these types of lambs were bred.

  [Back] Two Looks High: A way of measuring distances before GPSs and maps. One “look” equals as far as you can see from where you are standing. So if something is “two looks” away, travel as far
as you can see in that direction, then look again. At the end of that second look is your destination.

  [Back] Dress pocket: A pocket sewn into a skirt where a pocket book and other small valuables were stored.

  [Back] Collar Buttons: Buttons used to attach each end of the collar to a shirt. This created a collar roll, the perfect rigid arch between the collar and the shirt. It also helped to direct the flow of the tie and keeps the shirt (and its wearer) looking neat.

  [Back] 400 class: A baseball reference indicating that the batter is averaging more than .400. Even in baseball’s modern era, where players are stronger and the ball livelier, batting .400 would put a player in the hall of fame.

  [Back] Brass Collared: A metal insignia worn on the collar indicating a person’s rank or status. It was also called collar brass.

  [Back] Scantling: The set size of a piece of raw material such as stone or timber.

  [Back] Drawing as many Loads: “Drawing” in this context means “pulling,” much like someone drawing water from a well. The narrator is saying that Holmes’ intelligence is so powerful that he could explain his problem quickly.

  [Back] Garret is Dusty: A slang word for the head, a garret is a small room at the top of a house, just under the roof. It’s his way of saying “if someone thinks you’re an idiot, I’ll tell them otherwise.”

  [Back] Embalmed Beef: A reference to a scandal during the Spanish-American War in which the major meat-packing corporations, including Swift & Co. and Armour & Co., supplied canned and frozen adulterated beef to U.S. soldiers. The meat was believed to have killed soldiers through dysentery and food poisoning, and made the survivors vulnerable to malaria and yellow fever. During a court of inquiry, a U.S. general called it “embalmed beef,” and an army medical officer described it as having an odor “similar to that of a dead human body after being injected with formaldehyde, and it tasted when first cooked like decomposed boric acid.” In 1906, Sinclair Lewis’ The Jungle horrified the nation with its descriptions of unsanitary conditions in Chicago’s meatpacking plants, and President Theodore Roosevelt, who remembered eating “embalmed beef” during his stint in Cuba, promoted the Meat Inspection Act and the Pure Food and Drug Act.

  [Back] Ten Wheeler: A steam locomotive classified as a 4-6-0, consisting of four small leading wheels, six coupled driving wheels (that propel the engine) and no trailing wheels. Most passenger trains used the 4-6-0 configuration.

  [Back] Frequently at his side: Courtesy of Brian W. Pugh’s detailed Chronology of the Life of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, not to be read if you’re at all concerned about how little you do with your life.

  [Back] Smoking concert: Live performances before an all-male audience where smoking and talking were permitted. University student groups still hold smoking concerts but without those pleasures.

  [Back] Browning Club: The poet Robert Browning (1812-1889) inspired cult-like devotion among readers, with clubs forming in the U.S. and Great Britain. The Boston club could count on the cream of literary society to attend. One meeting in 1891 was attended by Julia Ward Howe, Sarah Orne Jewett, William Howells, and Thomas Wentworth Higginson. The Syracuse Browning Club, for example, was formed in 1882. It held weekly meetings, except during the summer, and membership was limited to 50. Each week, the group would read a portion of the author’s work and discuss the literary and ethical principles it expressed. There would also be occasional guest lectures.

  The adoration for Browning grew so popular that humor magazines such as Punch and Life poked fun at its pretensions. In one George Du Maurier cartoon in Punch, a bored woman at a dinner party asks the man next to her: “Don’t you admire Robert Browning as a poet, Mr. Fitzsnook?” “I used to once; but Everybody admires him now, don’tcherknow—so—’ve had to give him up!” There is even a Browning offshoot club at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, that still meets today. The Fano Club is made up of members who have traveled to Fano, Italy, to see “The Guardian Angel,” a painting that inspired Browning to write a poem of the same name.

  [Back] A book of that character: Three Weeks by Elinor Glyn (1864-1943) caused a scandal for its frank-for-the-times depiction of a love affair. The seduction scene on an animal skin inspired the popular rhyme: “Would you like to sin / With Elinor Glyn / On a tiger skin? / Or would you prefer / To err with her / On some other fur?” In Potted Fiction, Bangs parodied Glyn as “Six Months, by Hellinor Gryn.”

  [Back] Henry James: American-born London-based novelist (1843-1916) who broke new ground in literary fiction in the use of point of view, interior monologue and unreliable narrators. His later works grew more ornate in sentence structure and required careful reading.

  [Back] Esperanto: A language invented by physician and linguist L.L. Zamenhof in 1887. Zamenhof hoped his artificial language—easy to learn and free from politically threatening landmines—would foster peace and international understanding.

  [Back] Gertrude Atherton: Hall Caine (1853-1931) was a popular English novelist. Laura Jean Libbey (1862-1924) was an American author who wrote dime-novel romances such as Pretty Madcap Dorothy: Or, How She Won a Lover; Daisy Brooks: Or, a Perilous Love; and Kidnapped at the Altar: Or, The Romance of that Saucy Jessie Bain. Gertrude Atherton (1857-1948) was a San Francisco-based author.

  [Back] Six Best Sellers: The Bookman magazine devoted a section to lists of the top six best-selling books, divided into fiction and non-fiction categories, from major U.S. cities.

  [Back] Pragmatism: Henry James’ brother, William (1842-1910) was a Harvard-trained physician and influential psychologist. Pragmatism: A New Name for Some Old Ways of Thinking was published in 1907.

  [Back] Muggins: A card game in which players take turns placing cards in numerical order in the center of the table, or on top of another player’s face-up card, while building high-scoring combinations in their hand. Mistakes during play, such as placing a card on the wrong stack, are penalized by the players calling out “Muggins!” and awarding that person more cards.

  [Back] Pied: Printer’s slang for loose type that has been tossed into a pile. Before the linotype machine was introduced in 1886, printers had to set type by combining letters and spaces line by line to fill the page. This meant that a print shop had a lot of small pieces of metal that had to be carefully handled and stored. When a tray of type was dropped, the result was a “printer’s pie” that had to be picked up and sorted.

  [Back] Springhalt: Heaves: A type of emphysema characterized by persistent coughing and difficulty breathing. Ringbone: A type of osteoarthritis produced by a bony growth in the foot that causes lameness. Spavin: An inflammation that produces a bony growth in the horse’s hock (the equine equivalent of the human ankle). Springhalt: A type of lameness in a horse’s hind legs caused by muscle spasms.

  [Back] D.V.S.: A Doctor of Veterinary Surgery degree.

  [Back] Collar: To look sharp, men’s dress shirts needed a stiff collar that was detachable. Shirts with soft collars sewn in were worn by laborers.

  [Back] Mott Street station: New York City was divided into political divisions called wards which were overseen by ward men on behalf of Tammany Hall/Democratic Party. The Mott Street station, officially known as the Sixth Precinct station house, opened in 1881. The neighborhood was inhabited by poor immigrants, particularly Chinese, and for the next several decades the area was rocked by wars among the Tong gangs. The station house had been threatened with demolition several times, but neighborhood groups succeeded in having the building preserved, and the renovated and renamed Fifth Precinct house is still in use today.

  [Back] Homes of Fame’s elite: Wells lists 13 abodes, so rather than list each one separately, we’ll group them here:

  [Back] Carlyle’s house: For 47 years the Scottish historian and philosopher (1795-1881) lived at 24 Cheyne Row in London where he and his wife entertained the great men of Victorian England, including Dickens, Thackeray, Browning, and John Stuart Mill. The house is maintained much as it looked then.

  [Back] Shak
espeare: His birthplace has been preserved in Stratford-upon-Avon. The building was reconstructed in the 19th century, but retained its Tudor style.

  [Back] Poe: In Baltimore, the home Edgar Allen Poe lived in for about three years, and where he met his future wife Virginia, has been preserved as a museum.

  [Back] Legare: Most likely Hugh Legare (1797-1843), an American lawyer and politician who served in the House and as U.S. attorney general. His writings were published in two volumes. A childhood reaction to vaccine poisoning cost him the use of his legs, and he turned his energies into learning. While serving in the South Carolina House, he founded and edited the Southern Review for four years. He could speak and read six languages, including Greek and Latin, and compiled commonplace books filled with extracts from the books he read.