Crossing Bedlam

by Charles E Yallowitz

  “This isn’t a real plan,” Rose claims when everyone tries to leave the table. She refuses to back down when Cassidy eyes her, the shorter woman calmly finishing her drink. “You’re putting our family in danger. Tyler and I would like a better plan than bash in through the side door and scare everyone. Remember that you haven’t been paid yet.”

  “Fine. We bash in through the side door, scare everyone, and kill Amur.”

  “It will not be that easy.”

  “Like my mother always said, nothing ever is and sometimes you have to wing it.”

  “Sounds like a-”

  Cassidy slams her knife into the table between Rose’s fingers, causing Tyler to put the shotgun to the blonde’s head. “Careful with what you say about my mom. I might be stuck with you until I get paid, but that doesn’t mean you can cross that line with me. Besides, she’s listening and I don’t want her to think I’d let her memory be insulted.”

  “I’m sorry,” Rose says, noticing that Cassidy is rubbing an old locket. Seeing that Lloyd is asleep, the redhead puts a new toothpick in her mouth and walks away. “We’ll get everything ready by the morning. Feel free to claim some space inside for a nap. Feels like it is going to rain tonight.”

  Leaving her companion in the sun, Cassidy heads for the building and stops when she sees a reflection of Awry chasing after her. The Librarian is gasping for air by the time he reaches the young woman and she helps him take a seat in the shade. Tyler joins them, his curiosity peaked by his old friend’s sudden burst of activity. Handing Awry a skull-shaped flask, he fails to warn the man that it is tequila instead of water. The coughing and hacking lasts a few minutes after which the Librarian is nearly back to normal. He is still sweating and red-faced from exertion, but it is his serious expression that puts Cassidy on edge.

  “I almost forgot that I have news for you,” Awry whispers, gesturing for the two to lean in closer. Glancing around Tyler, he waits for a hazy figure in the distance to disappear down the street. “At first I didn’t know if it was about you, but one of my sisters confirmed the story. The warden of Rikers Island has hired someone to eliminate Lloyd and yourself. It isn’t a big contract, so you only have one hunter on your trail. Seems the warden doesn’t want news of the breakout spreading very far. If people think the prison is unsecure then he’ll lose business and supplies.”

  “Do you know what’s coming after us?” Cassidy asks, a looming sense of fear gripping her heart. She has a bad feeling what the answer will be and her spark of hope is crushed when she sees the Librarian’s face turn pale. “Shit. That bastard sent a Half-Dead after us. Those bastards would be the perfect ones to handle a man like Lloyd. Keep this a secret from him because we’re going to have to run right after handling Amur. Need to put as much distance between ourselves and that monster as possible. Last thing I want is Lloyd trying to stick around for the fight that he can’t win. I’m not fucking prepared for this at all.”

  “You will be before you leave,” Tyler assures the young woman with a charming smile. He puts a hand on her shoulder, surprised that she blushes. “This goes beyond our deal, but I refuse to let anyone get killed by a Half-Dead. We’ll put some special equipment on your jeep and have it installed before the end of the day. I think we have a few weapons we can spare too. Lloyd told me he uses a paintball gun, so I don’t know what we can do for him.”

  “Thank you, but I’m hoping to avoid a fight with that thing.”

  “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

  “With that in mind, I’m going to get some sleep and find out about a bath.”

  “My room has a private tub.”

  “I’m not that kind of girl.”

  Tyler smirks and hands her the keys to his room, failing to mention that Rose might already be there. The gang leader whistles his favorite tune and goes to get their small army ready for the assault. His movements break into a dance from time to time, the movements coming almost entirely from his hips. Neither of them remember to help Awry to his feet, the Librarian muttering about being unappreciated until Cassidy returns to give him a bag of apples. Giving the bald man a thankful kiss on the cheek, she leaves him to blush and examine the ground in a sudden wave of high school level shyness.

  *****

  “We don’t mean you any harm! Seriously, we come in peace!” Lloyd announces over the megaphone from the zoo parking lot. Standing on top of a truck cab, he continues shouting while waving his paintball gun in the air. “Again, I have been asked to put your minds at ease. Please come to the front of the zoo, preferably on a rooftop, and listen to what I have to say. Best that you leave the guns behind because they can be a distraction. So, where was I? That’s right. We come in peace and don’t mean you any harm! Scouts honor. Though not the kind you’re thinking of. More of the kind that transforms with twirling and comes from space. They didn’t have many cartoon choices in Rikers.”

  With dawn having only recently broken, most of the Guardians are groggy and confused thanks to the rude awakening. Those who were on the night watch are more aware of the situation, but remain quiet and quietly go back to their tents. As far as they are concerned, Lloyd is a harmless man with a megaphone that wants nothing more than attention. Nobody knows where Amur is hiding or if he knows about the disruption, his tigers having been roaring since the obnoxious noise began. Due to Lloyd firing paintballs around their feet, the animals that spent the night in the parking lot have run back into the zoo. The only living thing that he has managed to hit is one of the guards, the woman succumbing to the itching powder and ipecac combination within minutes.

  The Guardians are beginning to lose interest in Lloyd when the roaring of an engine erupts from the eastern side of the zoo. Monkeys screech from their island while the remaining rhino charges toward the zebras and giraffes. Birds fill the sky as the reinforced fence is taken down by a heavily armored van. A pack of motorcycles and sports cars follow the larger vehicle through the wreckage, all of them honking horns to scare animals out of their path. Bullets ping off metal as the Guardians scramble to defend their territory, but they only manage to take down one of the bikers down before the invaders split into smaller groups. None of the defenders are sure what to do without their leader and they are not entirely dedicated to killing the Metal Minstrels. As the vehicles move further into the zoo, the gunshots become fewer and only one other gang member is struck through her car’s windshield. It is only a shoulder wound, which one of her passengers tends to with a bandana while the others continue firing into the air.

  Moving without an escort, the van careens toward the entrance pavilion with the intention of bringing Lloyd into the fight. Tyler clambers onto the roof of the vehicle, knocking on the driver’s side window to let Rose know he is in position. The gang leader leaps onto the pavilion and rolls to avoid slipping into the falling rubble created by the van smashing through the structure. Four of the guards remain at their posts and are slow to react, only one of them fully clothed and ready for a fight. Tyler shoulder rushes the slowest of the Guardians and knocks the woman off the roof before she can react to his presence. The agile man whirls around to slam the butt of his shotgun into the face of another enemy, who crumples into a groaning heap. Cocking the weapon, Tyler hopes the noise scares off the other two enemies, but one of them raises their rifle. The boom of the pink shotgun echoes across the zoo and the blast has enough force to send the dead man toppling into the wreckage. The final Guardian drops his weapon and attempts to retreat, but the van returns to collapse the pavilion section his is standing on. Tyler leaps back onto the vehicle while the entire building crashes to the ground, those inside or on top trapped in the ruins.

  “That was awesome!” Lloyd shouts while he hangs out of the sliding door. He shoots random paintballs at any Guardians that he sees, the van moving too quickly for him to know if he is having any effect. “Things seem to be going well. Our enemies are on the run, the scent of elephant dung is on the breeze, and plenty of warm bodies to make c
old. Anybody know where Cassidy wandered off to?”

  “She headed for the northeast corner on a motorcycle,” Rose answers, skidding the van to a shaky stop. It blocks the road and prevents the approaching carts from getting to the rest of the battle. “We’ll hold them off here. Shouldn’t be too hard. Looks like there isn’t much fight in them. I hope that means things will return to normal once Amur is gone. You should hurry if you want a piece of him.”

  Fearing that Cassidy will have all the fun, Lloyd leaps out of the van and sprints toward the distant enclosure. Dead zebras and camels line the road, the carcasses left as meals for the tigers that he can hear roaring in response to the noise. A skittish pack of wolves can be seen inside a gift shop, the predators hungrily watching the lone figure. They refuse to leave the safety of the building and several of them have injuries from being mauled by the big cats. Lloyd nods to the animals as he passes and waves his harmless gun in case they get any ideas. He is surprised there are no Guardians in the area and realizes that not even a boot print or a single piece of discarded trash exists. Sensing that he is already being hunted, the serial killer hurries onto the edge of a wall and clambers to higher ground for a clear view.

  “You should have remained hidden like your friend,” Amur states, the man standing on top of the central building. With a whistle, he calls the tigers out of their hiding places and they move closer to the dividing wall that Lloyd is perched on. “She refused to shoot me or my friends. I lost track of her when she forced her way into the building. My most loyal men are inside, so she is no longer my concern. Things have been very quiet in there, which means she is dead.”

  “I’ve learned that silence tends to be a bad thing,” Lloyd states before taking a shot at the khaki-wearing man. The blue pellet splatters bleach on Amur’s shirt, causing him to wrinkle his nose in disgust. “I really need to only aim for the face. These things are useless if they hit anywhere else. Not to stroke your ego, but I’m impressed you’ve lived this long while only using tigers as weapons. Would have thought they’d get mowed down by a gun-toting maniac or an ambitious trophy hunter. I’m even more surprised that one of them hasn’t eaten you in your sleep. Unless they pity you, which wouldn’t surprise me considering your hair.”

  “They are my equals and not my weapons.”

  “How many tigers have you lost in your travels?”

  “Sacrifices must be made.”

  “I’ve yet to meet a person who said that and not turn out to be an asshole.”

  “These noble beasts-”

  Lloyd shoots a red paintball into Amur’s mouth, enjoying the sight of the man doubling over and gurgling in pain. “Are not acting like real tigers. I mean, they’re supposed to be solitary animals and you have them running in a pack like wolves. You did something to them, which doesn’t surprise me since Cassidy already pegged you as a hypocrite. Is it possible to hypnotize or brainwash a wild animal? Doesn’t really matter. You’ll be dead in a few minutes.”

  Before Lloyd can move along the wall, Amur draws a flare gun and fires it at the cornered serial killer. The loud shriek startles most of the tigers and causes them to retreat toward their caves, only the biggest one holding its ground. With nowhere else to go, Lloyd leaps into the enclosure and rolls into a crouch. The flare explodes behind him, but he is more concerned with the approaching predator. A crackling from Amur’s direction causes the other tigers to join in the hunt, their bodies stiff and tense.

  “Bad kitties. You shouldn’t hunt monsters,” Lloyd whispers with a lick of his lips.

  When the largest tiger pounces, the serial killer darts forward and punches the beast in the face. The other animals stop when they sense the aggression coming off their prey, who delivers a kick to the downed predator’s ribs. Taking a deep breath, Lloyd does his best imitation of a roar and feints at the remaining tigers. Unused to a human that fights back so viciously and shows no fear, the confused cats back away and shiver as if struck by an arctic breeze. They retreat entirely when the large one gets back to its feet and roars, receiving a louder reply when Lloyd uses the megaphone. Injured and not wanting to bother with the troublesome meal, the tiger walks by him and uses its tail to deliver a stubborn slap on the side of his head. None of the animals return to the fight even when they hear the crackling and look up to see Amur holding two stun guns over his head.

  “What just happened?” he asks himself. He waves the weapons around and tries in vain to regain his control of the snarling beasts. “Why aren’t they obeying me anymore? Stop being afraid! It’s only one man!”

  “Yeah, but that one man punched a tiger in the fucking face and roared,” Cassidy points out, the young woman having been quietly lurking on the rooftop. She waves to Lloyd, who is climbing out of the enclosure and heading for the building. “My friend makes an amazing distraction. Though the fact that wild animals find him terrifying is rather unnerving. So, you used the stun guns to control the tigers. I assume you’d come into a new area, isolate the tigers, and keep shocking them until they associated the noise with pain. Kind of like an evil Pavlov dog thing, but I’m not sure I remember that experiment correctly.”

  “Are you going to shoot me?” Amur asks, sweat trickling down the side of his head.

  “I would, but I need to save my bullets for Nebraska,” Cassidy replies before yanking the Guardian’s binoculars off his neck. Briefly admiring the quality of her new gear, she tucks it into one of her pockets. “I’ll have to settle for turning you over to the authorities.”

  “Do you really think the police or the gangs will contain me?”

  “I didn’t mean them.”

  A burst of pain ripples through Amur’s body as Cassidy unloads her own stun gun into the rogue Guardian. Before he collapses to the floor, she spins him around and kicks him off the roof with all of her strength. She watches to see where he lands, a grin appearing on her face when he bounces off a divider wall and splashes into a pool. Having replaced all of the other animals with his tigers, Amur is left helpless as the beasts surround the edge of the water. Satisfied and anxious to get out of Cleveland, Cassidy heads for the stairs where Lloyd is waiting to applaud her entertaining victory.

  “Good idea. If we don’t see him die then he can come back in another adventure.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “A recurring villain that has a grudge to settle.”

  “I’m pretty sure he’ll be eaten.”

  “Maybe he’ll come back hideous and deranged.”

  “He’ll come back as tiger shit, Lloyd.”

  “Amur will probably want to do horrible things to you since I wasn’t the one who kicked him off a building.”

  “Please stop talking, Lloyd. I have a headache.”

  Bride of the ‘Burbs

  Cassidy nurses a glass of milk and indulges in a package of chocolate chip cookies, the combination making her stand out in the roadside bar. All manner of vehicles surround the building that has been built to resemble a Wild West tavern. At least one with large signs made with glow-in-the-dark paint and other modern day conveniences. Darts and pool are being played in a game room that used to be entered through a curtain of beads, the barrier long having been reduced to a single strand. A few barely clothed men and women ply their trade among the crowd and occasionally disappear into one of the second floor bedrooms with a client. The waitresses and waiters routinely get mistaken for prostitutes because they are wearing nothing more than eye-catching swimsuits. Cassidy wonders how they survive the Ohio winters in such skimpy uniforms, but figures they probably switch to something more appropriate. Considering she saw a sign that stated flashing and mooning are only allowed by employees, she has a vague idea of the cold weather outfits. The old-fashioned bartender comes over to offer her some alcohol, but she refuses and trades him a recently found German beer stein in return for being left alone.

  Glancing to her right, Cassidy watches Lloyd drunkenly talk about old movies and comic books with a trucke
r. The burly man downs whiskey like it is water, prompting the excited serial killer to keep up with shots of rum. One of the waiters is perched on the boisterous trucker’s lap, which makes it clear he is a beloved regular. With a terrible slur, Lloyd slips into talking like a pirate and getting his new friend to laugh. The bearded man is happy to pay for the drinks and a constant flow of snacks that range from cheese-covered nachos to what is supposed to be fried calamari. From the smell of the crunchy rings, Cassidy is fairly certain they are closer to chicken than squid. Remembering the flocks of pigeons in the parking lot, she can make a safe guess as to the source of such exotic meat.

  Scanning the crowd for signs of the Half-Dead, she leaves Lloyd at the bar and heads for the bathroom. Her nerves have been on edge since leaving Cleveland, every noise from the jeep’s new Giger counter making her sick to her stomach. She is thankful for Tyler and Rose giving them the rare device, but knows that it will only warn them that the assassin is about to attack. It does not help that she has yet to tell Lloyd about the danger, which is causing Cassidy pangs of guilt and worry. For some reason, the man has repeatedly trusted her and now she is keeping a dangerous secret from him. To put her mind at ease, she admits that explaining a Half-Dead to someone who is new to the Shattered States is not easy. After all, they are the closest thing to true monsters that have appeared in the aftermath of the collapse.

  “I’ll tell him tonight,” Cassidy whispers as she slips into the bathroom. Finding a couple making out in one stall and a drug party in another, she settles for the third toilet that has been plastered with porn. “All I have to do is make sure he knows how dangerous these things are. I know Lloyd can be crazy, but this is something that should scare him. Just push the fact that they don’t feel pain and are practically animals. What if I try to describe them as zombies and let him think they can infect him? That might make things worse.” A gentle knocking on the door of the stall causes her to snap out of her thoughts. “I’ll be out in a minute! If you really have to go then disturb the sex show at the other end of the row.”