Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six

by Bartlett, Gerry

  I gasped when Penny crushed me to her in a hug. “Glory, how can I ever thank you? I thought this was going to be the worst night of my life and you just turned it around.”

  “The night is young.” I climbed into the car and checked my own lipstick in the makeup mirror. What a rush. First time to do that in a car. Jerry winked at me, easily reading my mind. Too bad it reminded me of the demons and that issue yet to resolve.

  “Yes, Penny, Gloriana and I have learned that a night can turn to crap in a heartbeat.” Jerry patted my knee, then started the car.

  “Amen to that, Jer. Amen to that.” I sighed and put my lipstick away. It would be too much to hope that we could just enjoy an uneventful night out.

  Fourteen

  “It’s a good thing you know the owner.” Rafe grinned at me as he had one of his shifters squeeze a table into a corner of the balcony. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.”

  “And I appreciate it.” I saw Jerry slip a tip to the man who put our spot together. “Thanks, Rafe. You sure it’s okay if Penny just sits at the bar? It won’t get Trey in trouble?”

  “No, he’s one of my most reliable guys. And he has a break coming up. He seems into Penny, was really glad to see her.” Rafe quit smiling as Jerry put his arm around me. “I’ll send you a waiter. Got to go.”

  “Appreciate the table, Valdez.” Jerry held out my chair.

  “Whatever makes Glory happy.” Rafe nodded and headed downstairs.

  “Gee, is it chilly in here?” I rubbed my arms.

  “You expect me to be friends with the man?” Jerry sat and moved close enough to lean against me. “Never happening. I did thank him. And I can keep you warm if you’re really cold. Though the heat from all these mortals is getting to me. We’d better order some synthetic before I give in to my urges that you don’t approve of.” He looked significantly at the next table where a rowdy group of men and women were obviously not on their first round of drinks. Definitely mortal and even tempting to me.

  I put my hand on Jerry’s arm. “Yes, order something. I don’t want to worry if you head to the men’s room and are gone too long.” I glanced around the packed club and over the railing, where bodies positively seethed to the loud music. A band that had just hit the charts with their latest single was scheduled to perform in a few minutes and there was still a line at the door with people willing to pay for standing room.

  Jerry signaled a waitress just as I heard the hum of my cell phone vibrating in my purse on the table. I pulled it out, checked the caller ID, and grinned. “Guess who.” I answered the call. “Flo! Where are you?”

  “Ricardo and I just got back in town. Where are you? I want to tell you all about our honeymoon.” She laughed. “Well, not all about it. But we went to the most beautiful island. Stupendo!”

  “Jerry and I just got to N-V.” I looked around. I bet two more chairs could fit at our table. “Why don’t you come over? The band should start in about thirty minutes. There’s going to be dancing.”

  “On our way. I missed you, amiga.” Flo laughed. “Ricardo is frowning. Doesn’t want to get dressed. As if he wore much of anything on that island. I’ll get him there if I have to drag him by . . . Never mind. He is throwing on clothes. Ciao!”

  I was smiling as I turned to Jerry. “You heard?”

  “So Flo and Richard are back. Then maybe she can talk you out of this nonsense of helping Valdez with the demons.” Jerry had leaned in and spoke softly so that no one nearby could hear.

  “Don’t start, please. Can’t we just enjoy the night?” I touched his cheek. “When you order drinks get the kind with alcohol. I wouldn’t mind a little buzz.” I looked up when one of Rafe’s paranormal waitresses appeared at Jerry’s elbow. He placed our order, then stood.

  “Fine. Let’s dance.” The lights had dimmed and the song was a slow one. Jerry gave me a hungry look that made me wiggle in my chair. “I want to hold you. That dress is driving me crazy. I can’t wait to see what you have or don’t have on under it later.”

  “Good to know.” I smiled at him and held his hand as we walked downstairs. Earlier, I’d watched him get dressed in his dark trousers and white silk shirt. The open throat showed off his strong tanned chest. He looked pretty yummy himself and turned more than a few heads.

  Downstairs, I was happy to see Penny dancing with Trey. They held each other close and were obviously feeling some chemistry. Good for her. She needed a guy showing her some appreciation after the humiliating experience with Josh.

  Jerry and I danced to two songs before I felt a presence nearby. I turned and Flo grabbed me, dragging me off the dance floor. Richard and Jerry just shook their heads and followed us.

  “Tell me everything.” I laughed as Jerry went to find someone to bring us two more chairs.

  “Aye, Dio. My husband outdid himself. We went to this little island in the Pacific. We had our own private cabana, our love nest. Eh, Ricardo?” She held out her hand to Richard.

  Her tall husband looked more than pleased with himself. “It was that. I made sure Florence had some shopping close by too. I know my bride.”

  “Yes, the sweetest designer boutiques.” Flo ran a hand down her size-six body. “You like my dress? My shoes? I got them there.” She looked perfect in a copper silk sheath that hugged her curves and ended midthigh. Her heels were designer cages made of three kinds of metal. Only my friend could have walked in them and not fallen on her face.

  “You look great.” I wondered what Flo would do if offered the chance to see herself in a mirror. What a temptation that would be. But Richard was a former priest and still very into the church. And Flo herself would be horrified that I’d been approached by the demons. She’d been the leader in the exorcism that had finally managed to get Alesa out of me.

  I was blocking my thoughts, of course, and glanced around. If Caryon or Spyte picked up on them, would they get the idea that Flo might be open to a deal with the Devil? No, no, no. I felt like making the sign of the cross or something but knew better than to let Flo see me upset.

  Flo just kept talking as the table was rearranged, more drinks were ordered and we all settled down. “We were close to entertainment too. I know you can’t, but we went gambling and I won! This honeymoon was lucky for me.”

  “No, I can’t gamble, can’t even handle a nickel slot machine without trying to pour my life savings into it.” I sighed. I have this addiction. One of the reasons I’d left Las Vegas. It had taken twelve steps and years of paying off credit cards to break me of that dangerous habit.

  “Well, there were shows in the casinos too. Great entertainment. We had many choices of whatever we wanted to do.” Flo smiled and looked at Richard. “Not that we left the cabana all that often.”

  “Nice job.” Jerry slapped Richard on the back.

  “I have to say I highly recommend honeymoons. It seems to stimulate . . .” Richard looked up with relief when the waitress arrived with our drinks. “Anyway, if you and Glory want the name of the island. I’ll e-mail it to you.”

  Jerry glanced at me. “It would be nice to get away for a while. Do that.”

  “You know I can’t leave things here. Certainly not my business again. I already took one trip recently. That one to Los Angeles.” I looked up when I saw Penny approaching us. “Here comes someone I want you to meet, Flo.” I held out my hand. “Penny, this is my best bud, Florence da Vinci Main-waring and her husband Richard. Flo, this is Penny Patterson, a fledgling I’m mentoring for the council.”

  Richard and Jerry had jumped to their feet, forever gentlemen. Penny grinned at them. “Sit, please. I’m happy to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Mainwaring. I’m living in your old bedroom, Mrs. Mainwaring. Ruining it actually.”

  “What’s this?” Flo looked at me. “And call us Florence and Richard. We may be old, centuries, you understand.” She glanced at the tables surrounding us and laughed. “Kidding. But we look young. No?”

  “Yes.” Penny was checking out Flo’s jewelry,
which had probably come from yet another boutique. The chunky necklace was obviously one of a kind and very expensive. “Young and very stylish.”

  “Thank you. I have made it my life’s work.” Flo put her hand to her dark hair, swept into an updo to show off the matching earrings.

  “Trust me, she has. I have the bills to prove it. But I’m not complaining. I get to be seen with her.” Richard laughed. “Won’t you join us?”

  “Well, thanks. But I really need to talk to my mentor. Glory, if you could come down to the employee break room with me for a minute? I hate to interrupt your party, but . . .” Penny squeezed her purse, crimping the leather.

  “No, I’ll come with you.” I got up and grabbed my own purse. “Be right back. I’m so glad you came to me, Penny.” I sent Jerry a mental message to come after me if I was gone more than ten minutes. “See you soon.” I leaned down and hugged Flo, then Richard. “So glad you’re back. Off to mentor.” I gave them a wave, then followed Penny. She was obviously upset and this couldn’t still be Josh, could it? She’d seemed to be having a good time with Trey.

  We hit the door of the employee break room and, with the band scheduled to start in a few minutes, it was empty. Penny collapsed on a gray sofa.

  “Jenny texted me a few minutes ago. Josh actually followed your orders. He went back to that party and told everyone I dumped him. She said the guys razzed him and he defended me. Declared I was beautiful and might even be the one for him. But he’d blown it, been a jerk.” She had tears in her eyes. “I just can’t believe it.”

  I sat beside her. “Believe it. That’s how the vampire whammy works. We can wipe out memories and plant new ones. Mortals are pretty much putty in our hands. We have tremendous power, Penny.” I squeezed her hand. “Are you thinking of taking Josh back?”

  “No. I can see now that a mortal and a vampire can’t work. We’re from two different worlds and I’d be too tempted to drink from him, then manipulate his mind.” She slumped against the cushions. “But imagine having a man you could make do whatever you wanted.”

  “That would be a first.” Penny and I exchanged wry smiles, woman to woman. “But I’m honest enough with myself to know I’d never be happy with a man I could push around.” I made a face. “So I get things like fistfights in my living room.”

  “And new furniture.” Penny laughed. “I’d say you do more than all right in the man department. You’re my role model.” She nodded. “So I’m moving on. To Trey. He’s got his own powers and we have fun. I can relax around him and don’t have to worry about hiding my fangs.” Penny put her hand on my arm. “He asked me to go out with him after the club closes tonight. Some of the people who work here are having a party. I may not come home afterwards. Do you think I’d be safe if I, uh, died at his place? For the day?”

  “If he were a vampire, I’d say no problem. But a shifter wouldn’t have the precautions you need. To keep out the daylight. I’m not about to tell you how to run your love life.” I patted her hand. “If you’re ready to go there, have at it, but you’d better ask him to get you home before dawn. Just to be on the safe side.”

  “Yes, I guess you’re right.” Penny frowned. “Why’s this vampire thing have to be so complicated?”

  “Just is. And maybe Trey’s been around long enough to know how to take care of a vampire during daylight hours.” I knew a rebound when I saw it but then again Penny had never really had a relationship with Josh, just a couple of dates. If getting close to Trey made her feel better, so be it. “But why take that chance?”

  “You’re right. And we may not . . . Well, I’ll see what happens.” Penny put her purse down beside her and looked me straight in the eyes. “Glory, the real reason I asked you down here is that Jenny’s on her way. I texted her that I was at N-V and could probably get her and her date in. She was all over it and insisted she was coming to join me.” Penny lost her nerve and looked away.

  “Penny, what are you thinking?” I grabbed her shoulders and made her face me again.

  “I’m thinking it’s time I told her the truth. About what I am. See if she wants to join the club.” Penny’s eyes filled. Oh, great. Here came the waterworks.

  “Not tonight. You’ve got the date with Trey to look forward to. Telling her now would totally screw that up. Put the Jenny thing off. Maybe tell her tomorrow night. Ask her over after the rats are gone. Better yet, after you get settled in with your job with Ian. And after the semester ends. Doesn’t she have final exams coming up?” I was trotting out every delay tactic I could come up with.

  “Oh, gosh, you’re right. I totally spaced on that. With the lab closed, I’m out of the loop at school. And there’s the dinner with Mom and Dad. Jenny would never be able to keep this kind of secret from them.” Penny sagged against the sofa cushions. “Wow. Thanks for talking me down, Glory. It’s just that Jen and I have been so close all our lives and I hate to see us grow apart like this with a monster secret between us.”

  I kept my opinion to myself. Which was that a “close” sister would have helped Penny look a heck of a lot better than the Penny who’d arrived on my doorstep. And it wasn’t as if my fledgling didn’t want to look good. She’d taken every bit of my wardrobe advice to heart and had been thrilled with the way she’d attracted male attention since then. Made me wonder why the perfect Jenny hadn’t steered her sister along the same path.

  “Fine. So you can introduce Jenny to Trey tonight. Won’t that be a rush? He’s cute. On top of Josh’s big confession, it’s become obvious that you’re turning into a regular femme fatale.” I grinned at her. “And you can always whammy her again if Jenny sees something she shouldn’t here.” I got up. “I need to get back to my friends. Are you okay now?”

  “Guess so.” Penny grabbed her purse. “I want to watch the band. It’s starting soon and I need to get with Trey and arrange for Jen and her date to get in.” She jumped up and hugged me. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge, Glory. I get so overwhelmed sometimes. You know?”

  I patted her back. “Sure I do.” I thought about the demons and how pressured I felt. “I really do. One word of advice. Don’t go to the bathroom with Jenny. No reflection in those mirrors and wouldn’t that raise questions? And of course there will be a bunch of other mortals in there too. Not only will you have the mirror thing to explain but—”

  “Bloodlust.” Penny made a face. “I’m doing better. Honest. The bartender is a vamp and he’s been pumping me full of synthetic. He’s cute too. If this thing with Trey doesn’t work out . . .” She opened her purse and pulled out a cocktail napkin. “He gave me his number.” She grinned. “What is it with these paranormals? Don’t they notice the junk in my trunk?”

  I laughed. “Lucky for us, a lot of them are ancient and have that old-time love of a well-rounded woman. And I don’t mean a woman with a lot of interests.” I hooked arms with her. “Now get out of here, have fun, but be careful. I’ll want a full report tomorrow night.”

  “Thanks, Glory.” She opened the door, then took off.

  I was feeling really ancient myself as I walked out of the room and ran straight into Rafe.

  “Oh, hey, I was hoping I’d get a chance to see you without your lord and master.” Rafe looked me over with an appreciative smile. “You look amazing tonight. New dress?”

  “Yes, Penny and I hit the mall. And thanks. But not for the lord and master slam. You know that wasn’t nice.” I backed up, pressed against the wall when Rafe moved close to let a group of giggling college students go past on their way to the ladies’ room.

  “You let Blade get away with that possessive crap, so I figured you got off to it.” Rafe didn’t move back now that the hall was clear, just stayed in my space.

  “No, but some battles just aren’t worth fighting.” I put my hand on his chest with the intention of pushing him away.

  “I get that, I so get that.” He dug in his jeans pocket. “Here, I have something that belongs to you. Taking it was stupid. I realized that
after the fact. It was something Blade would do.”

  I looked down and saw the vial Ian had given me. “What? You stole this out of my apartment?”

  “Yeah. Protecting you from yourself.” Rafe made a face. “I said it was stupid. But you know how I feel about Ian’s shit. You had bad side effects from his diet drug. Remember?”

  “Sure I do. But good ones from his daylight thing. It worked and it was amazing, my glimpse of the sun was longer than Ian’s clients usually get. Still, it was too short for the cost.” I sighed. “I can’t believe you took this, Rafe. What were you thinking?”

  “Wasn’t. It was me doing the bodyguard gig. Can’t seem to drop the act, you know?” He gave me a rueful smile. “Now I’m giving it back, but I’d like to know what in the hell it’s for. Come on, Glory. What is that drug going to do for you? And you said Penny has a vial too. You’re actually condoning your fledgling taking Ian’s drug? Wonder what the council would say about that.” Rafe stared at me with a mixture of accusation, concern and, okay, a bit of a threat.

  “You going to rat me out? Oh, cute, rat, yeah, I should sue the damned council for sticking me with a fledgling who brings home fifty-three freaking rats.” I glared at Rafe. “I can’t believe you’d do that, Rafe. Seriously.”

  “No, I’m not going to tell anyone what you’re up to. But I wish you’d confide in me. Let me be around when you take whatever this is. In case there’s fallout.” Rafe was all concern now, his hand on my shoulder.

  “I appreciate your protective instincts. I do.” I felt the steam go right out of me. “But Penny’s a scientist and Ian is offering her a job. I don’t think he’d be poisoning her. Right?” I waited for Rafe’s reluctant nod. “So just trust me now and back off.” The truth was I knew I was probably taking a chance with this drug of Ian’s. We did have a history and Rafe had been a witness to the side effects Ian’s concoctions could have on me. But for the chance to enjoy real food and sit around eating with mortals, like I was part of a family . . . Something inside me just couldn’t turn down that opportunity.