Owl and the City of Angels

by Kristi Charish

  Alexander sighed. “And here I thought you might have something useful for me. There is no ‘zombie army,’ Owl. How do I say this politely? Cease your feverish rambling and find some hole to crawl in and die with a smidgen of grace. I know—it is a stretch, but I have faith you will, how do you say—‘Give it your best shot’?” Then he hung up.

  “Idiot. Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you, Alexander,” I said to myself.

  I dialed Artemis next. On the fourth ring he picked up.

  “My God, someone might start to think you were looking to trade up on my cousin. Well, I can’t fault your taste,” came Artemis’s smooth voice.

  “Stuff the incubus shit. I need your help.”

  “This ought to be good. You’re starting to bank a lot of favors with me.”

  I ignored the innuendo . . . how best to convince Artemis to intervene with Daphne? “Hey, soooo—this whole artifact thing kind of stepped up a few notches. Daphne is about to help raise an army of dead.”

  There was a pause on his end. “All right, a little disaster and mayhem I’ll give her, but Daphne is more of the devil-may-care fun sort—she’s not stupid enough to get involved in that much of a fuckup. She still remembers the fallout from Caligula.”

  “Yeah, somehow I don’t think Daphne knows the full extent,” I said, and gave him the short-short version of what Cooper was trying to pull off. “Think of it this way, if a bunch of old Hollywood zombies start wandering through the Hollywood Hills, it’s going to be bad. The supernatural cat will be out of the bag in a bad way, and you’ll probably have to curtail your parties.” Not that I thought that was necessarily a bad thing, but I was looking for angles here . . . “Cooper is playing both of them, and they’re too stupid to realize it.”

  There was a sigh on Artemis’s end. “Christ almighty—all right, no promises, but I’ll see what I can do.” There was another pause before Artemis added, “Are you certain you want to keep getting involved with this, Charity? It might be wise to save yourself and leave well enough alone,” he said before hanging up.

  If it hadn’t been for the whole unleashing the army of dead on L.A. and needing my damn curse lifted, I might have agreed with him. . . .

  What bothered me more and more though was the fact that Cooper was playing the supernaturals. I’d never counted Cooper as stupid enough to play these kinds of games. I don’t know what he’d offered them, but it sure as hell wasn’t an army of dead. Daphne and Alexander both wanted their leashes loosened when it came to the population at large, but I couldn’t see them signing up for something this reckless. Hazard of being on the low end of the supernatural totem pole—if humans thought they were a real threat, they’d take them out first.

  There wasn’t any more time to ponder what strings Cooper was pulling though as we pulled up to the cemetery gates.

  Rynn killed the lights as we parked the jeep. There was no sign of Cooper anywhere—but then, there wasn’t any sign of anyone: guards, tourists . . .

  “All the lights are off,” Carpe said.

  I glared at him. “Wow, are all elves as observant as you?”

  He frowned back. “I’m sorry, but you have a bad habit of walking into dark places without a torch. I thought it might be a general shortcoming.”

  “That’s World Quest, Carpe.”

  “Still—”

  I rolled my eyes and focused on the area past the gates. I searched for signs of stray flashlight beams in the garden. There was nothing.

  “Are we sure he’s here?” I asked.

  “I’ve got his rental just past the gates near one of the buildings,” Carpe replied.

  Great, he was hiding . . .

  We piled out of the jeep with me lowering myself carefully over the side and trying to move my legs with something resembling coordination. Instead, I stumbled on my second step and landed on my knees. Concrete, hands, knees—not a good combination . . .

  Both Nadya and Rynn watched me. “I’m fine—just slipped,” I said. Captain jumped out after me, getting right in my face to sniff me before letting out another meow. I fastened his leash before he could sniff the air—just in case Alexander was lurking somewhere.

  I caught Nadya and Rynn exchange a glance, but otherwise they left me alone. All four of us crept towards the gate.

  The Hollywood Forever Cemetery was a collection of white mausoleums situated in a sprawling, manicured park. From what Carpe told us, the cemetery had a sordid past, much like the rest of Hollywood. After falling into complete disrepair over an eighty-year period due to a less-than-scrupulous owner, the in-debt cemetery had changed hands, and the new owners were left with the problem of figuring out a way to turn a profit to refill the coffers. Of a cemetery. This being L.A., not as hard as you think. They’d managed to fix it up and turn it into a tourist destination of sorts, highlighting some of their more famous residents and using the park itself to show movies.

  Well, it’d worked. Even without the lights, the place had the same Hollywood sheen that Artemis’s and Daphne’s homes had. And somehow made it all the more creepy . . .

  “Found him,” Rynn said, stopping and motioning for us to crouch down behind the cement pillar that formed the gates. “Past the gates, on the island in the center of the lake.” Rynn handed me his night goggles.

  Sure enough, in the partial cover of the mausoleum situated on the small man-made island was Cooper—and only Cooper—crouched beside a stone bench. He was trying his best to mask his flashlight. I could see why he’d picked the spot; far enough away from the gates not to draw attention and plenty of things to hide behind.

  I scanned the nearby grounds until I spotted the rental SUV a little ways away.

  “He’s alone. Maybe Odawaa and the pirates found something better to do,” I said optimistically. Or Cooper didn’t want Odawaa and his crew exposed to more supernatural bullshit than necessary.

  “We’ll see,” was all Rynn said.

  The four of us made our way through the gates and across the grounds until we were roughly fifty yards away from the lake—close enough so we could all keep track of Cooper without the night vision and zoom. Bonus—I only stumbled twice. Once we were there though, Rynn had us wait.

  “Can we please deal with him before he raises an undead army?” I whispered to Rynn after five minutes had passed of us watching Cooper set up.

  “This is too easy,” he said. “Alix, stay back here with Captain. It’ll be easier without you crashing into things. Nadya, Carpe, you go right, I’ll go left. Try to see if there’s a route to get closer to him undetected, and keep your eyes open. We’ll meet back here,” he added.

  “Yeah—good idea—crouch in the soft bushes . . .” I lay down near a nice-smelling rosebush as everyone piled off. To be honest, that was about all I could handle. The walk across the cemetery alone had just about done me in. Now if only the world would stop moving . . . No, wait, that was Captain. Pulling at his leash . . .

  I sat back up to see where Captain was straining. He grunted, and dug in his hind legs. He wanted to go out in the open. Shit, Alexander . . .

  “Captain, no,” I said, pulling back the leash. It was no use. Captain turned back and snorted at me before doubling his efforts.

  Damn cat. I wrapped the leash around my hand . . .

  And heard the gun click right as Captain broke my hold and bolted under the bushes. The weight of a gun barrel pressed against the back of my head, followed by a string of Somali as someone shoved me out from underneath the shrubbery. I looked up at none other than Odawaa.

  “Fancy seeing you here, Owl,” he said. “I said to Cooper, ‘No, she would not be so stupid as to stumble across us again,’ but yet here you are.” All pretense of camaraderie was gone this time. In fact, there was a fanatic look to his eyes I didn’t like.

  “You know, for someone who doesn’t believe in the supernatural,
you sure as hell are up to your neck in a pile of it,” I said.

  He sneered and gripped my arm much harder than necessary. “I am not some stupid superstitious savage. There is no such thing as magic and monsters,” he said, giving me another hard shove.

  The funny thing with beliefs is they don’t like to be challenged, and I was betting that golem had challenged Odawaa’s beliefs big time. Most people have the same reaction when their convictions get confronted; they do their damned best to squash the challenger.

  Odawaa herded me out of the bushes towards the mausoleum, where Cooper was standing, waiting.

  “Hey there, Alix—or Owl, or whatever the hell you’re calling yourself nowadays. Glad you could make it. Why don’t you come on up,” he said.

  “Screw off.” I’m sure under other circumstances I’d have come up with something more eloquent, but hey—sometimes simple is the best policy.

  Cooper whistled and aimed his flashlight at my face. “Still holding a grudge, eh? Let’s try this again. Get up here now, otherwise I’ll do to your friends what I did to Dr. Sanders.”

  Carpe and Nadya stumbled out from behind the mausoleum at the prompting of two pirates. I don’t know who looked more miffed at having a gun in their back. I think Carpe won; he looked more incredulous than pissed. But no sign of Rynn.

  “Hey there, Nadya, you look great,” Cooper said. “Looking for dig work? I’ve got a few spaces to fill.”

  Nadya spat back a stream of Russian insults.

  Cooper shrugged before turning his attention back on me. “Never said I was in your league, but can’t fault a guy for trying.”

  Odawaa herded me across the narrow bridge, staying close enough on my heels that I felt his breath on the back of my neck.

  He shoved me when we reached the edge, causing me to stumble. Cooper caught me by the shoulders. “You know, I have a lot to thank you for,” he said.

  I snorted. “For what? My dig notes?”

  He smiled and squeezed my shoulder. If I wasn’t already shaking from the effort of standing, I would have cringed. “I was thinking more along the lines of how you showed me just how much power I had over all you grad students.”

  I must have heard that wrong . . . “I’m sorry—what did you just say?”

  “Oh I figured I’d get away with it. I mean, grad student, you? Me?” He shrugged. “Not much of a competition there, but I figured I’d pick up some slack for that dig fiasco a few years back, end up on the IAA’s radar.” He leaned in so his face was almost touching mine. “You didn’t even file a complaint. Hell, you just went on the fucking warpath.” He gave me back to Odawaa, who bound my arms behind me as Cooper headed over to his makeshift shrine set up across a white stone bench in front of the mausoleum. Odawaa gave me the requisite shove to follow.

  “You showed me I can do anything I want provided there’s someone to take the fall. No one will do a damn thing, because at the end of the day it’s too inconvenient. All thanks to you, Alix.” He smiled again and gave me a conspiratorial pat on the shoulder.

  “You seriously plan on raising an army of dead in the middle of Hollywood?”

  “Everyone needs a hobby.” Cooper grabbed my collar and hauled me up onto the bench. I caught a streak of white fur and followed it to where Captain crouched behind a tombstone, switching his tail. I gave him the barest shake of my head and hoped our training wasn’t a complete waste of time . . .

  “It wouldn’t have mattered who I told. The IAA never would have looked into you,” I said.

  He shrugged as he pulled on a pair of heavy gloves, then carefully removed the lamp from a bag and set it out before me. “Maybe, maybe not. The thing you’ve got to realize is you’re the perfect scapegoat. The IAA hates you. They were more than happy to figure you were in on all those thefts, didn’t even stop to think for a second you don’t touch the dangerous stuff. I’ll turn in your dead body—claim you set off the curse. Hell, I’ll come out of this looking like a hero. What was it you used to say about her, Nadya? She attracts trouble?”

  Nadya spit in his face.

  Cooper wiped it off, unperturbed. “Yeah, that was it. She was right, you know,” he said, directing that last bit at me.

  I might be dying, but I know my rotting lily of the valley any day of the week. It was faint but there, coming across the cemetery on the breeze. Captain would smell it too. I shook my head at him again. He crouched low behind the tombstone and bared his teeth.

  Alexander stepped out of the shadows onto the bridge. A few steps behind him followed Daphne, her red dreadlocks tied into twin elaborate braids that fell down her back over a gold-and-green dress. Over her shoulder she carried a canvas bag.

  The artifacts. We were out of stalling time.

  I searched the darkened cemetery. Now would be a real good time to start shooting, Rynn . . .

  Alexander took the bag from Daphne when he was halfway across the bridge and held it out in front of him like a peace offering. Tonight he was wearing an expensive suit jacket paired with expensive ripped jeans. He fit right in with the rest of the L.A. sleazebags . . . “We’ve upheld our end of the bargain, Cooper Hill; we assume you are ready to uphold yours?”

  Son of a bitch, how could Alexander be that stupid . . . “You idiots. What’d he promise you? Cause I’ll tell you right now he’s lying.”

  “I see you have the Owl,” Alexander said, ignoring me. “The real one, not the pathetic pirate you tried pawning off before. Where is the cat?”

  “In the bushes somewhere,” Cooper said. “Here, I’ll show you.” With that, he aimed his gun close to where Captain was hiding and fired.

  “You son of a bitch!” I lunged at Cooper, but Odawaa hit the back of my knees with the butt of his gun.

  “Don’t worry, Alix,” Cooper said as Odawaa shoved me towards him. “The vampire wants him alive. And like I said, Alexander and Daphne, as soon as I perform the ritual, you’ll be the proud owners of a trio of cursed artifacts that work on other supernaturals.”

  That was what all this was about. I remembered what Lady Siyu had told me about cursed artifacts not working on supernaturals . . . Since Oricho had read that damn scroll, everyone knew that wasn’t entirely true anymore, though I highly doubted Cooper was peddling anything other than snake oil.

  And stupid of him to piss off a siren and a vampire . . . though once zombies started walking around, I don’t know that they’d care—they’d have bigger problems.

  The rotting lily of the valley was stronger now, permeating the air around me. I wondered why Cooper wasn’t wearing a mask. Maybe he didn’t have as much experience with vampires as I did. I caught one of the pirates trying to shake the pheromones off. I tried to catch Nadya’s eyes, but she was watching the pirates as well and holding her breath. If we played our cards really well . . .

  I fixated on Alexander and raised my voice for Rynn’s benefit. “Seriously? You actually believe he’s giving you supercurses to finish taking out Lady Siyu and Mr. Kurosawa? Jesus, Alexander, if I’d known you were this lousy of a negotiator, I’d have kept working for you. He’s screwing both of you—ow!” Odawaa jabbed me again with his gun. I glared. “You know, Odawaa—you’re standing awful close. You might just be part of Cooper’s magic zombie army as well—and you know that light-­headedness is from the vampire over there—”

  The maddened fury filled Odawaa’s face again, and he snarled. “For the last time, I do not believe in your zombies or vampires—or whatever nonsense Cooper has concocted.”

  “A little hypocritical, isn’t it?”

  He raised his gun to hit me again. “It makes no never mind what he believes or lies about. He pays our fee.”

  “That’s enough, Odawaa,” Cooper said, raising his voice. “I need her alive, otherwise there’s a fourth one still out there who will start shooting.” Then he yelled, “Isn’t that right?” Cooper f
lashed me another smile. “Oh yeah, I know about him. Alexander was kind enough to tell me about the incubus.”

  I glared at Alexander. “Seriously? You really set your eyes on fucking the pooch this time, didn’t you? You know the incubus has a cell phone. How much do you want to bet he’s calling Mr. Kurosawa right now? Seems to me like your cursed artifacts are only good if they don’t know. The vampire Grand Poobah isn’t going to be real happy bout this. Especially when humans start vampire hunting next week—”

  That got him. “Could you please muzzle the Owl?” he snapped, his calm demeanor vanishing.

  Good. He should have his tail between his legs.

  For the first time, Daphne spoke up. “The incubus was part of the deal, Cooper Hill,” she said. I had to hand it to her, she had a hell of a voice. I don’t know if I’d call it beautiful, but I couldn’t not listen.

  “In fact, if I recall, that was my only requirement, and as I hold the artifacts you require, I’d be more concerned with him than the human and her psychotic cat.” She then arched a crimson eyebrow at me. “No offense.”

  “Almost forgot,” Cooper said, pulling out a new cell phone. He ­dialed, waited for someone to answer, then offered it to her.

  She took the phone and said “hello” in English before switching to supernatural. Who the fuck did Cooper know who spoke supernatural?

  Whoever was pulling the strings.

  I don’t know why—maybe partial hallucination—but for some reason, my brain started spinning, making connections where maybe there were none.

  She handed the phone back to Cooper and nodded. “I stand corrected.”

  Damn it. I glanced around the cemetery again, hoping to catch some sign that Rynn was OK . . . Maybe that was why he hadn’t done anything yet. If there was another supernatural involved, that changed the game . . .

  And I sure as hell didn’t want to wait for them to make an appearance.

  Time to save ourselves.

  I caught Captain crouching behind the tombstone and looked out towards the dark graveyard. I sure hoped Rynn was still out there ­watching . . . I’d have to time it real well, otherwise Captain wouldn’t be the only one getting shot. I also had no illusions about how much longer Captain would hold out against vampire bait.