The Heart of a Fox

by T. Isilwath

  To prevent the death of her family, she would have to sacrifice the future that she knew, but that future was essential because the accident was the trigger for everything. Also the Quantum Gates had been developed during the Iraqi War. If 9/11 had never happened, it was doubtful that the Iraqi War would have occurred. To change the past, one would change the future, negating the event that led to the creation of the technology that had made altering the past possible. It was a Paradox, and the more she thought about it, the less she liked it.

  The distraction that was Akihiro brought her out of her thoughts when she saw him trying to tug up the net one more time. The rope was pulled tight, and it was obvious to her that the trap had gotten snared on something.

  “Aki…” she began, then gasped when she saw him lean too far forward in an attempt to free the net and inadvertently shift the rocks he was standing on.

  The rocks slid loose, and he toppled over into the deep water of the cove with a great splash. At first she laughed as he surfaced, slapping at the water haphazardly, but her laughter at his predicament was short-lived when she realized that he couldn’t swim.

  “Akihiro!” she cried and dived in after him without a second thought.

  He was struggling and sputtering, fighting against his clothes and the water as she came up behind him and wrapped an arm around his chest.

  “Joanna-sama!” he gasped, floundering uselessly.

  “Aki, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Stop fighting!” she told him, holding him up as she tried to calm him and keep him from killing them both. They were back-to-chest, and she wanted to keep it that way in order to prevent him from grabbing onto her and pulling her down with his struggles.

  “I can’t… the water…!” he argued, his eyes wide with panic.

  “It’s okay. Just relax and let me get us out of here,” she cajoled.

  “Relax!”

  “Yes. Relax. Just relax. I’ve got you and I won’t let you drown. I promise.

  Just stop fighting the water and relax.”

  He slowed down his thrashing and stopped scrabbling at nothing. “Like… like this?” he asked, his voice frightened and uncertain.

  “Exactly like that,” she praised and pulled him tight against her chest as she brought them over to the rocks he had fallen from. She took one look at them, however, and frowned. What was left didn’t look too stable, and she didn’t want to risk it. The problem was that the shallows of the cove were quite a distance away-about the length of four Olympic-sized pools.

  “There’s no sense in fighting to get up on these slippery rocks. I’m going to take us to the shore, but I need you to just stay calm and let me take us over there, okay?” she told him.

  “O… okay,” he agreed hesitantly, and it was a testament to his trust in her that he grew still and let her keep them both afloat.

  “Good. Very good, my fox. Just trust me,” she soothed.

  “But the trap…” he reminded, reaching ineffectually for the rope that was now sinking to the bottom of the cove.

  “I’ll come back and get it, I promise. Now just relax and I’ll take us to safety,” she ordered gently, rolling to her back and keeping him tight against her as she swam them both to the shore.

  Remarkably, he stayed calm as she made their way to the shallows, and she set him down on his feet just as soon as they touched down on the bottom. He immediately surged out of her arms and raced for the dry sand, collapsing to his knees and gagging on the beach. She knelt beside him as he gasped for breath and ventured a giggle at his bedraggled appearance now that he was safe.

  “A fox that can’t swim?” she teased. “How did that happen?”

  “How did what happen?” he snapped back, spitting up water.

  “That you didn’t inherit the dog-paddle from your father.”

  “The what?”

  “The dog… oh nevermind. You can’t swim.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “Well, if you’re gonna have any fun with me while we’re here, I’m gonna have to teach you how not to drown.”

  “That’s easy: don’t get in the water,” he countered.

  She laughed and patted his back as he coughed up more liquid.

  “There, there. You’re all right now. You stay here and I’ll go get the trap.”

  “What? But…”

  She stood and headed back into the cove. The shallows only lasted for a few yards before the white sand hit a shelf and plunged down about 25 feet.

  ‘Gotta love these volcanic islands.’ Beaches in Hawaii were the same way.

  “Joanna! Joanna-sama!” she heard Akihiro call worriedly, but she just waved then dove off the edge.

  The water was clear and clean, and just a bit on the cool side as she made her way down to where the net had snagged on a piece of coral. Several fish came to investigate what she was doing, and she even had a couple of eels slip out of their holes to look at her, but none of them got too close. It only took her a moment to free the trap, and she headed back to the surface none too soon because her lungs were starting to protest. She dragged the net, with its three crabs, back to the shallows and a very upset Akihiro.

  “Joanna-sama! Are you all right? You went under the water and didn’t come up!” he blurted worriedly.

  “It’s okay. I can hold my breath for a while. I’m fine,” she insisted. “Here, three more to add to the basket. I think that’s enough.”

  “I was afraid when you jumped off the ledge like that,” he complained.

  She smiled at him and gave him a reassuring pat. “I was fine. I promise.” Giving him the net, she let him carry it as they walked back to where they had left the basket full of their earlier catches.

  “How did you learn to go under the water like that, Joanna-sama?”

  “I told you, I grew up on the coast. You don’t grow up within sight of water and not learn how to swim, at least not where I’m from,” she replied.

  She picked up the basket and carried it to the shallows of the cove. There she used the net to fashion a pen, and put the crabs and lobster into it for safe keeping until it was time to cook them for dinner. Akihiro helped her, then they returned to the camp to refill the evaporation pit.

  While he worked on fetching water, she took on the task of making him a swimsuit. She had anticipated that he would probably need some kind of swimwear for their trip to the beach, but she was certain that he didn’t have anything he could use, so she had brought along a pair of dark brown monpe peasant pants from her stash of scrounged clothing. This pair she now fashioned into a rough set of swim trunks by cutting off the majority of the legs and making a drawstring waist from the excess fabric. She sewed up the new waist in record time with needle and thread from her sewing kit, and soon she had the trunks ready, complete with a “tail hole” in the rear.

  “Here,” she said, handing him the trunks.

  He had just returned from his last trip to the cove, and she noticed that he had taken off his soaked kosode, leaving him bare-chested. He looked quizzically at the garment she had given him and raised an eyebrow.

  “What is this?” he asked.

  “Swim trunks. Put them on.”

  “What?” he replied, his eyes bugging out.

  She sighed and gave him a tolerant look. “You can’t swim in your nobakama and kosode. The clothes will just drag you down when they get wet.

  Put that on and you’ll be able to get in the water without getting pulled under.”

  “Why would I get into the water?”

  “Because I’m going to teach you how to swim.”

  “What?”

  “What part of that did you not understand?” she answered patiently.

  He sputtered a bit, holding up the trunks. “But I’ll be naked!”

  “Akihiro,” she said slowly, fixing him with a measuring look. “I’ve seen you naked.”

  He flushed a brilliant shade of red, and she bit her cheek to keep from laughing.

  “Not anymore you
don’t!” he shot back.

  “Aki. Trust me. All your important parts will be covered. Besides, have you looked down recently?”

  He glanced down at his sodden nobakama and saw that the light colored fabric was molding to his body. He also noticed that it was practically see-through when it was wet, leaving very little to the imagination. He gasped and turned an even deeper shade of red as his hands flew to cover his groin.

  “Y… you’re peeping! ” he squeaked.

  “Peeping would imply that you were trying to hide something,” she answered reasonably, swallowing the chuckles that begged to be let out. “That, however, was in plain view.”

  His reply was another gasp and a little cloud of kicked up sand as he ran for cover to change. When he came back, he was still topless, but the dark swim trunks fit him pretty well.

  ‘Not bad for a hack job,’ she thought, pleased with how the hastily sewn trunks looked.

  “I still say I’m naked,” he complained, tossing his wet nobakama over the top of her backpack frame.

  “And I still say I know the difference.”

  The blush came back and he put his hands over his crotch. “You shouldn’t admit that. It’s not proper for a lady to tell a man she’s peeped at him.”

  “One, I keep telling you I’m not a lady; for some reason you just refuse to believe me. Two, being that I stripped you because you had three arrows sticking out of your body, I doubt that could be classified as peeping.”

  “You could have redressed me,” he groused.

  “Before or after you stopped bleeding and pouring with sweat?” He huffed but didn’t argue, and she smiled at him as she stood up.

  “C’mon, let’s go back to the cove. Swimming 101 is about to begin,” she told him, offering him her hand.

  She took him back to the cove and coaxed him in. He didn’t want to go at first, but she splashed him until he relented, and she spent the next couple of hours teaching him how to dog paddle and front crawl. He learned quickly, as she had expected, and soon he was competent enough to keep himself afloat.

  When she thought he was ready, she took him off the edge of the drop-off and had him swimming after her as she led him around the cove. Then she brought him out of the shelter of the cove and urged him into the surf. Again, he did not want to go, but this time she just went in without him. She loved to hop the breakers back home, and she would often ask Michael to drive to Carolina Beach on hot summer weekends. Michael was never one to really love the water, but he tolerated it, and he always had fun when they went to the beach together.

  She heard Akihiro scream her name when she dived into a breaking wave, and she made it a point to pop out on the other side just to let him know she was okay. She dived through four more waves before she felt something grab her wrist. Surprised, she whirled around to see Akihiro, wide-eyed and frightened, next to her. He was afraid that she would drown, but she reassured him and showed him how much fun it was to play in the breakers. Then she showed him how to float on his back while the waves rocked him. She held his hand and kept him from drifting away as he bobbed on the gentle swells, and she was glad to see him relaxing and enjoying himself.

  When he’d had enough of floating, she asked him if he would do the same for her, and he agreed. She lifted her hand and he took it, grasping it so that he had her by the wrist while she leaned back and let herself float. There was something about free-floating on the soft waves that felt like coming home, a return to the water-filled world of the womb where she had been safe and protected. Even now, in spite of her predicament, she still felt a strong sense of peace and belonging as she drifted, weightless, in the blue-green water, rocking gently with the rhythm of the tide.

  She listened to the sound of the waves and let it touch her in the deep places of her soul, breathing in and out with the heartbeat of the world. She could hear the tides rushing, the pop-pop-pop of the air bubbles in her ears as she just let herself relax. Akihiro’s strong grip was her anchor to the land, and she knew he would let the sea take him before he let go. But there would be no need for that. There was no danger there, only tranquility and welcoming warmth. The Mother had her in Her arms and nothing bad could happen to her while she was there.

  When the tide came in, they returned to the shelter of the cove and scouted out new colonies of crustaceans and groves of seaweed for later meals. The inlet and coastal waters were full of abundant sea life, and they had no fear of going hungry while they were there. She had plans to harvest some seaweed for drying so she could take it back with her, and they even found a large sea turtle shell that they could use as a bowl.

  That evening, as they feasted on the crabs and seaweed, the thoughts from the morning crept in on her and darkened her mood. After dinner, she sat by the driftwood fire and stared out at the sea. Night had fallen, and the stars had come out in all their undiluted glory, the Milky Way painting a swath of twinkling white across the sky. A cool breeze blew off the ocean, ruffling her hair like soft fingers, and she looked out to the water she could only see by moonlight.

  There was an eerie play of shadows and mist on the waves, making the whole scene look surreal and unearthly, and she felt completely alone even though Akihiro was right there.

  He was sleeping beside her, curled on his side with one hand under his cheek, and a peaceful, happy expression was on his face. He had changed out of his “indecent” swim trunks to his dry kosode and nobakama as soon as he could, and she had to smile at the memory of him dashing off to find a private place to change so she wouldn’t “peep” at him. He’d told her that, despite nearly drowning numerous times, the day they had shared had been one of the best in his life, and she had to admit that it had been a great deal of fun. Swimming with him, chasing fish and each other, playing in the surf, she had recaptured a feeling that she hadn’t experienced since her family had been killed, and she felt that something precious that she had lost had been restored to her.

  ‘Nothing happens without a reason,’ she recalled. ‘There are no accidents.’

  Elisi had drilled that into her head. All things happened for a reason. Spirit knew what was going on, and everything was as it was meant to be. Sometimes that belief was very hard to swallow, but understanding that it was all part of a great master plan did bring some comfort.

  While the idea of preventing 9/11 was very attractive, the realities of time manipulation were far too disturbing. Who was to say what would be changed and what would stay the same? What if someone decided that Germany should win WWII or that Hinkley should succeed in assassinating Ronald Reagan?

  What if changing one thing in history gave rise to a dictator that started World War III or prevented the development of a technology that saved millions?

  Yes, the potential to do an amazing amount of good was there, but so was the ability to wreak terrible harm. In the wrong hands, such power could be used to do unspeakable evil, and history was full of such examples. Humanity had fallen into greed and spiritual destitution, and there was no reason for her to believe that people would handle the technology wisely.

  Governments, powerful men, religious leaders: all of them could (and would) make cases for altering history, and their meddling could cause irreparable harm. Many science-fiction authors had written time-travel horror stories about the repercussions of trying to change the past (or the future for that matter), and she had no desire to see their predictions come true. It was far better for her never to be found, for the engineers to never find the key to what caused the accident, than for them to rescue her and doom the world in the process.

  Her life was worth that. If her death meant that humanity never gained the power to control time, gladly she would make that sacrifice. It was August 2nd and soon she would have to open the fourth vial of insulin, but that no longer seemed to matter in the light of her new revelations. She had been praying to Spirit that she would be found before she ran out of insulin, but now she would fervently pray that they not find her. She would be reu
nited with her loved ones in the next life; she knew that with absolute certainty so she had no fear of leaving them forever. The future of her world depended upon her staying where she was, of never going home, and eventually dying from her disease.

  Quietly she made peace with it, much like someone who knows he is going to die and faces the inevitable with dignity. To save her world, she had to sacrifice herself, and she was prepared to meet her fate. She didn’t know exactly how much time she had left, but she would live as best she could and take comfort in knowing that she wasn’t alone.

  Looking down at Akihiro’s sleeping face, she thanked Spirit for the gift and made her prayer.

  ‘Let it be an anomaly. Let the circumstances which sent me here remain forever a mystery. Let me stay here and meet my fate with honor and courage. Let me pass into the folds of time, never to be seen in this life again. For I would rather die here with my friend at my side, than be the trigger for the destruction of everything I know and love.’

  She offered her prayer up with the smoke from the dying fire, to the stars, the moon, Spirit and anyone who happened to be listening, and she felt it pass from her to reach the heavens. Then she wrapped her arms around her knees, gazed out at the moonlight on the waves, and sighed. The sea sighed back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Four days. Four blissful, perfect days spent alone with Her with no one to interrupt or disturb them. It had been Paradise and he hadn’t wanted it to end.

  His vixen had tanned beautifully in the sun, her skin turning bronze and smooth, and he’d seen so much of her in her “bathing suit” that it had to be a sin. How could one look upon so much flesh and remain pure of thought?

  Oh, he did not touch her. He did not dare to touch her. That would be dishonor and disgrace of the highest order, and he would never, ever, do anything to taint Her. Should her betrothed take offense at his actions, the man could call not only for his death, but for hers as well, and he would not dream of endangering her life that way.