The Heart of a Fox

by T. Isilwath

There was no answer or friendly call. Instead she heard the monster behind her shriek, and she smelled its fetid breath. It was gaining on her.

  ‘No. No, please. Someone please help me!’

  Water was her salvation and her heart leapt with relief when she came upon a river. As she headed for the water’s edge however, a huge black spider jumped in front of her, blocking her way. She forced herself to skid to a stop before she ran headlong into its jaws, but she knew she was trapped. A second spider came out of the trees and prevented her from running back the way she came. She looked from one to the other, hoping for a way out, but there was none. The monsters advanced on her, their red eyes swirling. They extended their fangs…

  She woke from her nightmare with a scream on her lips, and she sat up in a blind panic. Her eyes opened onto a darkened room, lit only by the light from a small fire burning low in a pit set into the floor. Directly next to her ear she heard a ferocious snarl, but a second scream died in her throat when she realized the snarl had come from Akihiro. She watched as he leapt from her side and crouched on all fours between her and what looked like a sliding Japanese-paper door, his posture defensive and his tail sticking straight out.

  It quickly became apparent that he’d been asleep beside her and had been awakened by her scream. Not knowing why she had screamed, and probably still half-asleep, his fox instincts had reacted before his human half had a chance to gauge the situation, and he’d immediately moved to defend her. A moment later, she watched him come to full wakefulness and turn wide eyes her way. They stared at each other for a few heartbeats, and she got the distinct impression that each was wondering if the other was real.

  “Akihiro?” she asked in a small voice, her heart pounding.

  “Joanna-sama?” he replied, his voice just as uncertain.

  Memory was returning and she recalled her last conscious moments with terrifying clarity.

  ‘The spiders… the huge, horrible spiders…’

  She looked down at her hands, then at her body, gingerly touching herself as if to make sure all of her was still there and whole.

  ‘I was trapped. One of those things bit me…’

  Chills began to run through her until she was trembling uncontrollably, and she hugged herself because she was suddenly cold.

  “Joanna-sama?” Akihiro’s voice called softly, and she felt him move closer.

  She raised her eyes to his, her mind still reeling from the nightmare and what had actually happened. Dimly she wondered if she was going into shock.

  “Joanna-sama?” he said again, and she saw him reach out his hands.

  Still half afraid he was an illusion conjured up by her mind, she grabbed at his hands and was immensely relieved when she touched solid, warm skin.

  “Akihiro,” she breathed, tightly gripping his hands in hers. He didn’t seem to notice if she was squeezing too hard.

  ‘I’m alive. I’m not going to be eaten by spiders. Akihiro saved me…’

  She had a very faint memory of his voice pleading with her not to die, and she tried to pull him towards her but pulled herself closer to him instead.

  “Akihiro…” she repeated, releasing his hands so she could touch his face with trembling fingers.

  “Joanna-sama,” he whispered, and he used his now free hands to stroke her arms gently. His touch made her shiver.

  ‘He’s real. He’s here. I’m… I’m safe. I survived…’

  She could hardly believe it, and her hands cupped his cheeks then reached up to touch his fox ears. Emotion was beginning to well up in her throat and choke her. She tried to breathe but it came out as a ragged sob.

  “Aki… Akihiro…” she gasped, her voice broken and alien to her ears.

  His face softened as he cupped her elbows in his palms and drew her close to him. She slid her hands down the sides of his head to his shoulders and moved forward as he gathered her into a tight embrace. She was still shaking, and she could feel the wetness of the tears that had begun to roll down her face.

  “Akihiro…” she whispered, all the horrors of the attack she had suffered coming back, and she closed her eyes to try to block out the images.

  “I’m here. You’re safe, Joanna-sama.”

  ‘My fox. My fox came to my rescue.’ “Akihiro.”

  She gripped the front of his kosode in her hands as he held her tight, clinging to him like a lifeline. The warm wall of his chest, and the strength of the arms that surrounded her, proved to be her undoing, and she began to cry, giving in to the gasping sobs that wanted so badly to be released. A deep rumbling under her ear told her that he was crooning softly, and she felt his hands gently stroking her back.

  She was only vaguely aware when someone else arrived. She heard the sliding of a door and sensed light shining into the room. Instinctively she pressed against Akihiro, shrinking away from the stranger that peered in. Under her ear, Akihiro’s croon deepened to a soft, warning growl, and she felt him draw her even closer.

  “Everything is well?” a male voice asked in hushed tones.

  “Yes,” she heard Akihiro reply. “Everything is fine.” There was a beat of silence then the stranger spoke softly, “Ring if you need anything.”

  Akihiro grunted a reply and she heard the door slide closed.

  “Who was that?” she questioned, finding her voice.

  “Kaemon. He probably heard you scream and came to make sure everything was all right.”

  She nodded, her cheek still against his chest. She could feel his chin resting on top of her head and felt very cradled and loved. The sweet tenor of his voice was a comfort in itself.

  “Where are we?” she asked.

  “At Ichiro’s shrine. I brought you here after…” He paused and she felt him draw a deep breath. “They have medicines to counteract poison. I felt it was the best thing to do,” he answered.

  “How long have I been here?”

  “Four days.”

  ‘Four days. I’ve been unconscious for four days.’

  She opened her eyes and carefully pulled herself from his embrace. He let her go reluctantly. The room was still quite dark, but she could see that it was small; only a little bit bigger than her hollow under the tree, but the ceiling was much higher here. Looking around, she recognized several of her belongings including Iris, and she saw that he was sitting on her sleeping bag. He’d probably been using it to sleep on while she was recovering on the thin futon mattress.

  ‘Judging from the look of him, he hasn’t left this room either.’

  She watched him as he moved over to a bucket and filled a cup with water using a wooden dipper.

  “Here. You should drink,” he said, offering her the cup. “You’ve been sick with a high fever, you need water.”

  She nodded and accepted the drink. If her fever had been anything like the one he had suffered when he was sick, then it must have raged for days.

  “Thank you,” she replied, sipping the water in order to avoid nausea. She knew how bolting food or water on an empty stomach could make her queasy.

  “Joanna-sama…” he said shakily, and she looked up to see that he was now the one being overcome with emotion.

  “Aki…” she began, but stopped short when he shocked her by bowing prostrate before her, his forehead almost touching the wooden plank floor.

  “I must beg your forgiveness,” he told her, his voice heavy and broken.

  ‘My forgiveness?’ “For what?” she blurted, unnerved by his submissive position. She’d thought they were beyond that by now.

  “I was not fast enough. I did not prevent you from getting hurt,” he answered regretfully.

  She put the now empty cup down and placed one hand on his shoulder, surprised to feel the fine tremors under her fingers.

  “But you did prevent me from dying,” she answered. “You did save me. I don’t know what else you could have done.”

  He sat up slowly and looked at her, his face a portrait of remorse. “I should never have left you. I k
new that this was the time when the oni-gumo send out scouts to look for new nests. The only thing that saved you was the fact that it was a juvenile male and the bite missed your throat.”

  “That was a juvenile?” she squeaked.

  He nodded. “The females are larger and their venom is much more potent.”

  ‘Larger? The damn things were the size of ponies!’ “How much larger?” She saw him think for a moment before answering. “Half again as large, and they are streaked with red. Usually there is one adult Queen in each nest with some juvenile males and smaller females.”

  “What about the adult males?”

  He shrugged. “The Queens usually kill them after mating.” She nodded, shuddering. ‘Giant Black Widows the size of horses. Thank God there aren’t any living in my time.’ She shuddered even harder when she entertained the thought that maybe there were such beasts surviving in her time, but just hibernating somewhere unseen and unknown.

  “I was lucky then. Lucky that it was a juvenile male, and lucky that you were able to reach me in time. Did you have to fight them for me?” His eyes darkened and his face grimaced with anger. “They are both dead.”

  “You killed them then,” she stated, feeling a great deal of relief at the news.

  “Yes. I blasted them both with foxfire.”

  “Foxfire? But I thought…” she began, surprised by his answer.

  He gave her a wicked smile and held out both of his hands, palms up. A moment later they began to glow, and two puffs of blue flame erupted out of the center of his palms. She gasped and smiled with delight.

  “Akihiro, you can call your foxfire!”

  He nodded, his smile widening at her obvious pleasure. “I felt it when I was fighting the oni-gumo that bit you. I was between it and you, and it attacked. I didn’t even really think about it; I just pulled where it felt right and threw a fireball. I cracked the second one in two with it.” Bravely she reached one hand out and touched the flickering blue flames with her finger. She remembered that Akihiro had told her that foxfire burned cold, and she was only mildly surprised to find that he was correct. She could feel the pressure and the movement of the flames, but there was no heat and no pain. In Akihiro’s palms, the foxfire seemed harmless, but she knew better.

  “Aki, I’m so proud of you,” she praised.

  He bowed his head a little and, in the strange blue hue cast by the foxfire, she could see his cheeks darken. “I had no choice. I had to save you. I gave

  myself over to my demon blood and it showed me what to do,” he admitted, closing his hands and snuffing out the blue flames.

  “Often the body knows better than we what to do to survive,” she replied.

  He nodded. “Yes.” He paused, then cast around for the cup she had used earlier. “You should drink more.”

  Refilling the wooden cup, Akihiro offered it to her. She accepted the cup and drank. Her lips were parched, but she soon realized that she had a problem.

  “I have to go out,” she said as she struggled to stand.

  “Go out?” he repeated, his voice slightly alarmed, but he put his hand under her arm to steady her as she shakily rose to her feet.

  ‘Gods, my legs feel like they’re made of jell-o.’ She smiled bitterly because she could honestly say that she’d almost forgotten what jell-o tasted like. Sugar free jell-o was a popular dessert among diabetics of all ages, and she’d eaten a fair amount of it in her lifetime, but now she had a hard time remembering the fruit-flavored food.

  “Joanna-sama?” her fox questioned, his hand still firmly around her arm.

  “I really need to go out unless your friends wouldn’t mind if I made a mess inside their house.”

  “Ah, I understand. The shrine has a benjo. It is not far to walk.” She nodded and took an unsteady step forward. Akihiro walked with her, supporting her because her legs were still very weak, and he guided her to what looked like a classic Japanese washi-paper wall. He put out his hand when they reached the wall and slid one panel back, revealing an opening to the outside.

  Since it was night, she could barely see a thing, but Akihiro urged her out of the room and onto a long, covered porch. Then, as if he could read her mind, she saw him extend a hand and light the way with a bit of foxfire, casting a blue-ish hue on the ground and building. She followed him quietly, allowing him to lead her down the porch (almost hitting a large bell that hung from the end of it) to a narrow, stone paved trail that led to what looked very much like an outhouse.

  ‘So “benjo” means outhouse. Got it.’

  He opened the outhouse door to reveal a small dark room with a wooden floor and a hole in the center. There was no seat or anything to really hold onto, and she blinked a few times, wondering how she was possibly going to manage using it, especially in her current, weakened state.

  “Um…” she began.

  “There is always the woods,” he offered helpfully, seeing her hesitation.

  “Yeah. I think that’s a better idea. I’m gonna need something to hold onto.”

  He nodded in understanding. “This way. I don’t like that thing either.” She followed him blindly because he had snuffed out the foxfire and was now leading her into the forest. He warned her when the ground was uneven and helped her navigate around trees and other hazards, then he finally stopped after a few moments of walking and placed her hand upon the wide trunk of a tree.

  “Here. Will this do?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  There was some rustling, then a handful of soft, wide leaves was placed into her palm. “Here. You can use these for…”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll step to the other side. If you need any help, I’ll be right here.”

  “Okay.”

  She heard him move and waited a minute to make sure she had privacy, then she set about opening the plain white kimono someone had dressed her in.

  ‘This looks like a yukata. My guess is someone at the shrine must have taken me out of my leathers and put me in this.’

  She could feel her bike shorts and sport bra still on underneath the lightweight fabric, but she could tell that the strap on the shoulder where she had been bitten was ripped. It was too dark for her to actually see the wound, but it was sore and itched so she knew it was there.

  It took her a few minutes to complete her task, and more than once she heard Akihiro shuffling around impatiently as he waited for her. She had to smile despite her less-than-optimal circumstances because she could just imagine him stopping himself from running to her side every time she made a noise.

  Her body ached from sickness and disuse, and she tired easily. By the time she had finished her business and rearranged the yukata, she was exhausted and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. She took two or three steps away from the tree she had used as a latrine, and called softly for her fox.

  “Aki…”

  She didn’t even get the second syllable of his name out before he was there.

  “Joanna-sama,” he answered, taking her arm under the elbow to steady her.

  “I’m finished.”

  “We should go back to the shrine. You are weak. You need your rest.” She nodded, too tired to argue, and leaned on him for support.

  “Do you want me to carry you?” he asked.

  She would have said no, but her legs still felt like jell-o and for some reason her feet seemed to weigh twice as much as they normally did. “That might be a good idea,” she agreed quietly.

  A moment later she was being lifted and carried bridal-style back to the Shinto shrine. Akihiro stepped up onto the long porch and brought her back to the room they had been in, placing her gently down on the futon mattress.

  “Here. Are you hungry? Do you need anything?” he asked.

  “I’m thirsty,” she admitted. ‘Too thirsty. Something isn’t right here.’ “Aki, how has my blood been?” she questioned as he handed her a cup of water.

  Even in the dim light, she could see his d
ejected look and her heart sank.

  “I’m sorry, Joanna-sama. I tried very hard, and I did all of the things you taught me to do, but the numbers were always too high or too low. I had to use a lot of medicine from your pouch to try to bring the numbers under control, but even then I don’t think I did very well.”

  ‘Fever. Poison. Stress. Yeah, that’d send my diabetes swinging wildly. I wonder if I have ketones? I do have some testing strips in my bag. I should probably check the next time I have to use the tree.’

  “I had to use your magic pen because the number was under 50, and I had to use two of your orange tablets too when it was too low again, but more often than not the number was too high. Once it was even over 500!” Akihiro continued, his voice anguished. “I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sure you did your best.”

  “Your medicine pouch is almost empty. I didn’t know how to fill it.”

  “I’ll take care of it in the morning. I need to change the infusion set too.

  But right now, I’m tired and I’d like to sleep,” she told him, drinking the water he had given her and putting the empty cup down.

  “Of course, Joanna-sama. Sleep is best for you right now,” he said as he held back the blankets, and she settled under them, smiling at him when he drew the covers up to her shoulders.

  “Why don’t you lie down yourself? I’m sure you’ve barely slept at all, and it’s a little cold in here,” she suggested, patting the sleeping bag beside her.

  “Do you want me to stoke the fire?”

  “No. You’re warm enough.”

  He made a little choking noise, but took her hint and moved the sleeping bag so that it was directly next to the thin futon. Combining the blankets, he made one larger bed that was big enough for both of them and stretched out alongside her underneath the covers. She turned her back a little and he put one arm around her, spooning them together.

  “Good night, Akihiro,” she whispered, closing her eyes.

  “Good night, Joanna-sama,” he answered, nuzzling the back of her neck.

  “Thank you for saving my life.”

  He sighed and she felt him snuggle closer. “Sleep,” was all he said in reply.