Adam and the Arkonauts

by Dominic Barker

  ‘You told me to pass on any news relating to Felipe Felipez and the election straight away,’ she said, holding out a piece of paper for the Mayor to read.

  Mention of the election drove everything else from his mind. The Mayor grabbed the paper, then slumped into his chair with a low groan.

  ‘I cannot tell you how bad things are now – even my troubles have troubles.’ He sighed. ‘The other candidate – Felipez – do you know what he has promised the voters now?’

  The Doctor and Adam shook their heads.

  ‘Ear mufflers! For every citizen in Buenos Sueños. To block out the sound of the Dreadful Alarm!’

  ‘Is that such a terrible idea?’ asked Adam.

  The Mayor stared hard at him. ‘It is his idea. The people will praise Felipe Felipez.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean you can’t be the one to make it happen. Surely the job of a mayor is to do the best thing for the people of his city. That should be all that matters to him,’ Adam said passionately.

  ‘This is why I don’t do school visits,’ grumbled the Mayor to himself. ‘Children are such idealists.’

  But it was obvious that Adam’s words had affected Mayor Puig, for a few moments later he reluctantly pressed the intercom on his grand desk.

  ‘Señorita Ratti,’ he said to his secretary. ‘Get me Los Mufflers de Ears.’

  ‘Putting you through now.’ Señorita Ratti spoke through the intercom.

  ‘Hola?’ came a voice after a few seconds.

  ‘Ciao,’ said the Mayor. ‘This is Mayor Puig. The city of Buenos Sueños wants to –’

  ‘This is Jordi Iniesta, head of research and development at Los Mufflers. Please state your business.’

  ‘If you will let me finish,’ said the Mayor. ‘The city will buy your –’

  ‘Hola? Whoever you are, stop it with these silent phone calls. You have been doing them all day. I warn you, I will report you to the police.’

  ‘What do you mean silent phone calls?’ said the Mayor. ‘I’m talking perfectly –’

  ‘They can trace your call, you know.’

  Suddenly Adam realised what the problem was. He leapt out of chair and ran round to the Mayor’s side of the desk.

  ‘TAKE YOUR MUFFLERS OFF!’ he shouted as loudly as he could into the microphone.

  ‘What is that you’re whispering?’ said Jordi. ‘Take my – oh, I see. Well, that explains why we haven’t been getting any business.’

  ‘You have all the business you need now,’ said the Mayor. ‘The city of Buenos Sueños will buy your entire stock of ear mufflers immediately. Deliver them to every house in the city.’

  This time there was silence on the other end of the line. Eventually Jordi spoke.

  ‘We may have a small problem.’

  ‘What is it?’ asked the Mayor.

  ‘Our entire stock is two pairs of ear mufflers.’

  ‘What?’ he roared.

  ‘You see,’ said Jordi, ‘only one week ago a man called Elipe Elipez came to our factory and bought the entire stock.’

  The Mayor took his finger off the intercom and crashed his fist against the table.

  ‘Curse Felipe Felipez,’ he shouted. ‘You see what kind of devious man we are dealing with?’ The Mayor looked up at the Doctor. ‘Now can you tell me what I am to do?’

  The Doctor’s usually well-controlled temper was beginning to shorten.

  ‘Give me the message from my wife that you have been promising me ever since Adam and myself arrived.’

  The Mayor slapped himself on the forehead, clearly harder than he had intended.

  ‘Ouch,’ he said.

  He went to his safe and twiddled the knob left and then right, before the door swung slowly open. Reaching inside, he pulled out a letter, which he handed to the Doctor. The Doctor looked at the envelope.

  ‘It is her handwriting,’ he said excitedly. ‘I would know it anywhere, even after all this time.’

  ‘I am sorry that it has taken so long –’ began the Mayor, but he was interrupted by a buzzer on his intercom.

  ‘Chief of Police Grivas is here to see you.’

  ‘Send him in!’

  ‘Come on, Adam,’ said the Doctor. ‘We will –’

  ‘No,’ said the Mayor, holding up his hands. ‘If you are to understand Buenos Sueños at all, you must meet the Chief of Police. Just this one last thing. And then I will leave you to your letter.’

  The Doctor nodded frostily just as the door opened and the uniformed figure of Chief Grivas marched into the room. He had a huge moustache and was smoking the biggest cigar Adam had ever seen.

  ‘Chief Grivas,’ said the Mayor, ‘may I present Doctor Forest and Adam.’

  The Doctor rose and held out his hand. The Chief of Police did not extend his. Instead, he removed his cigar and exhaled a large puff of acrid smoke in the Doctor’s face.

  ‘I do not shake hands with criminals,’ he said.

  Sitting at Adam’s feet, Sniffage growled. Adam had never known the spaniel to growl on meeting a stranger before. Normally he was the friendliest dog in the world.

  ‘Criminals?’ said the Mayor. ‘What are you talking about? These are distinguished guests of Buenos Sueños who arrived only this morning.’

  ‘You can call them all the fancy names you like,’ said Chief Grivas with a sneer. ‘But within minutes of setting foot in our proud city, a very promising young officer found them guilty of trying to destroy the transport system of Buenos Sueños and vandalising the streets.’

  The Chief of Police blew more black smoke into the Doctor’s face.

  The Doctor stared impassively back.

  ‘Is this true?’ asked the Mayor.

  ‘All we did was ask for help,’ said Adam.

  ‘I see.’ The Mayor sighed as he turned back to Chief Grivas. ‘Some more of your ludicrous laws.’

  ‘They are not my laws,’ answered Grivas. ‘They are the laws of the city.’

  The Mayor shook his head with frustration.

  ‘The sooner these laws are changed the better.’

  ‘That is a matter for you.’ Chief Grivas shrugged.

  ‘How can I change them if I do not have access to the Buenos Sueños Crime and Punishment Code?’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ said the Doctor. ‘You are the Mayor but you don’t know what the laws are in your own city?’

  ‘There is only one copy of the Crime and Punishment Code of Buenos Sueños,’ the Mayor explained. ‘And it is in the possession of Chief of Police Grivas.’

  ‘But can’t he make a copy?’

  ‘Apparently the law states that it can’t be copied,’ said the Mayor.

  Chief Grivas nodded.

  ‘Can’t he let you see it, then?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Grivas. ‘The Mayor is the Mayor – he is welcome to see the Crime and Punishment Code at any time.’

  The Mayor’s face began to go red.

  ‘I have been asking to see the Crime and Punishment Code for four years.’

  The Chief of Police nodded.

  ‘And I am hoping that any day now it will become available,’ answered Grivas, taking a puff on his giant cigar. ‘In order to be a successful policeman it is necessary to learn the code by heart. And because of the number of laws we have in Buenos Sueños this takes some time, particularly as there is only one copy. My nephew, Trainee Constable Grivas, has been studying for a year now.’

  ‘I think he must be the officer who fined us,’ Adam mused.

  ‘No, it is not the same man,’ said Chief Grivas. ‘I am referring to Trainee Constable Paolo Grivas not Constable Jordi Grivas, who apprehended you.’

  ‘The entire police force of Buenos Sueños appears to be related to yo
u, Chief Grivas,’ remarked the Mayor pointedly.

  ‘A coincidence,’ said Grivas.

  ‘It is also a coincidence, I suppose,’ said the Mayor, ‘that the Grivas family are the only ones who have not committed a crime in the last four years.’

  ‘You criticise my family for abiding by the law!’ shouted the Chief of Police. ‘Why not save some of your politician’s breath to criticise those who break it? Without the Buenos Sueños Police Force this city would be a criminal’s paradise.’

  ‘I didn’t notice any crime,’ said Adam, who was beginning to seriously dislike Chief Grivas.

  ‘Of course you didn’t,’ answered Grivas, taking a puff on his giant cigar and breathing out more choking black smoke. ‘Three years ago I introduced a policy of zero tolerance. The tiniest infringement would be clamped down upon. Thanks to that my force has these people under control. But let me tell you, underneath they are animals.’

  ‘You’re an animal too,’ remarked the Doctor mildly.

  Grivas choked in indignation. He marched up to the Doctor and poked a stubby finger into his chest.

  ‘What did you call me?’

  ‘I called you an animal,’ answered the Doctor. ‘Because that is what you are. Kingdom: Animalia. Class: Mammalia. Order: Primates.’

  The Chief of Police spluttered with rage.

  ‘Are you calling me a monkey?’

  ‘Stop this!’ the Mayor intervened. ‘I wanted to ask you about progress in the search for the source of the Dreadful Alarm.’

  ‘There has been no progress,’ said Grivas. ‘Perhaps if my officers were not constantly interrupted in their work by the crimes of strangers, there would be more.’ And with that, Grivas flicked ash contemptuously on to the carpet and stomped out.

  The Mayor thumped his desk in frustration.

  ‘Our citizens have always had a reputation for being law-abiding. But over recent years, so many laws have been implemented that even the laws have laws. Due to the zero-tolerance policy of Chief Grivas, most of the people in the city have been fined so often they are weighed down with debt, for the fine doubles with each new offence. This is why I based my entire campaign on one policy only: to introduce a new Crime and Punishment Code for Buenos Sueños. If all the people voted for it, then even Grivas would be forced to concede and the citizens of Buenos Sueños would be happy again. But that was before the Dreadful Alarm started. Since then, Felipe Felipez has begun to campaign with his policy of ignoring new laws and promising instead simply to deal with the Dreadful Alarm, and my support has fallen away. Do you see how vital it is that I stop the alarm before the election? Only then will I be able to win and change the laws to save the city.’

  ‘We have said that we will help,’ said the Doctor. ‘But now I must insist that you finally permit me to open this letter from my wife.’

  The Mayor looked momentarily confused as though he didn’t know what the Doctor was talking about, before his eyes lit up with understanding. He raised his hand to slap himself for being so forgetful, but then remembered, too, how much that had hurt last time.

  ‘Of course, of course. Please, go ahead,’ he said, lowering his hand.

  The Doctor needed no further encouragement. He deftly opened the envelope and slipped out a single folded sheet of paper. Next to him, Adam craned his neck. The Doctor unfolded the paper and looked at its contents.

  ‘What is the meaning of this?’ he asked.

  ‘Is something the matter?’ said the Mayor.

  ‘What is it?’ said Adam.

  The Doctor’s face was dark with anger. Adam had never seen him like this before. He held the paper out towards Adam.

  It was blank.

  Adam couldn’t believe it.

  Neither could the Doctor. He always maintained that one should keep one’s emotions in check and respond to any situation, however difficult, with logic and restraint, but this was too much. Such was the strength of his anger that the Mayor backed away behind his desk.

  ‘I have sailed halfway round the world for a blank piece of paper.’

  ‘A message was left for you and I passed it on,’ the Mayor protested. ‘What else was I to do?’

  ‘After ten years!’ the Doctor shouted. ‘Ten years of searching.’

  For a moment, Adam actually thought that his father would hit the Mayor. But instead the Doctor, with what appeared to be a tremendous effort of self-control, thrust the message into his pocket and turned away.

  ‘Come on, Adam,’ he said, striding to the door. ‘Come on, Sniffage.’

  ‘I hope this doesn’t affect your agreement to help me solve the mystery of the Dreadful Alarm,’ the Mayor ventured.

  The Doctor spun round to give the Mayor a withering glare.

  ‘I assure you that any agreement we had is now terminated.’

  ‘But the people of Buenos Sueños, the election, Felipe Felipez . . .’ pleaded the Mayor.

  ‘Are none of my concern,’ said the Doctor.

  He turned and led Adam and Sniffage from the room, slamming the door behind him.

  .

  CHAPTER 7

  ‘Where have you been?’ chattered Simia as Adam emerged from the hatch on to the deck. ‘The Doctor said we were to make an early start this morning and yet you’ve been a lazy slug-a-bed, not helping at all with the preparations.’

  Adam looked at the sun. It still sat low in the east and its weak rays sent out none of the heat they would doubtless do later in the day.

  ‘It’s only just light,’ he protested.

  ‘Only just light,’ mocked Simia. ‘That’s humans for you all over. Centuries of evolution and what do they do with it? Stay in bed!’

  ‘Where’s my dad?’ asked Adam, trying to avoid yet another tirade.

  ‘The Doctor needs his rest,’ said Simia, whose criticism of the entire human race always excluded the Doctor. ‘He had a terrible shock yesterday.’

  The monkey indicated the letter, which lay discarded on the table where the Doctor had thrown it on his return to the boat last night. He had locked himself in his cabin and Adam had not heard from him since.

  ‘I had a shock too,’ Adam protested.

  ‘You’re young. You’ll get over it!’ said Simia. ‘We monkeys have a saying: “An old monkey drops his banana and he is hungry for the rest of the day. A young monkey drops his banana and he eats some berries instead.”’

  ‘What does that mean?’ asked Adam, puzzled.

  ‘It’s a saying,’ said Simia severely. ‘Who knows what it means? Now hurry up and help me order the sails. We need to be gone on the morning tide.’

  ‘Excuuuusssse me!’ yowled Malibu from his perch on a nearby barrel. ‘Could you pipe down over there? Some of us are in the middle of our winks.’

  ‘For your information, cat,’ said Simia, ‘there is no need for any further discussion. The boy here is going to help me with the sails.’

  ‘Tell him to do it quietly,’ said Malibu, closing his eyes.

  ‘I don’t know why the Doctor keeps you on board,’ Simia muttered.

  ‘I do what any ship’s cat does,’ Malibu replied dreamily. ‘I keep down vermin.’

  ‘The Doctor collects vermin,’ the monkey pointed out.

  ‘Ah well, whatcha gonna do?’ said Malibu. And he fell asleep again.

  ‘Come on, boy,’ said Simia.

  But the talk of bananas had reminded Adam he hadn’t had any breakfast yet. On the wharf there was a stall selling fruit and vegetables. He felt in his pocket. He had five pesos.

  ‘I’m going to get some breakfast first,’ he said to Simia.

  ‘Another human excuse,’ Simia sighed. ‘Survival of the fittest. Survival of the laziest more like.’

  And shaking her head in disapproval, the mo
nkey scampered over to the sails. Adam headed down the gangplank on to the wharf, past the fishermen who sat mending nets, towards the stall. Piled high were ripe oranges, mangoes, grapes and pineapples, to name but some of the fruits, and in front of them were glasses filled with their juice, shaded by stirrers with little novelty sombreros. Adam felt hungrier than ever. Above the stall was a sign: Ferdinand and Isabel’s Fruit and Vegetable Emporium. It was staffed by a friendly-looking woman aged about fifty, who Adam decided must be Isabel.

  ‘I’d like an orange, an apple, a banana and a grapefruit, please,’ he said.

  Isabel shook her head.

  ‘Do I look like I was born yesterday, chico?’ she said.

  ‘No,’ said Adam truthfully. ‘You look like you were born yesterday fifty years ago.’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Isabel. ‘And so, unlike some, I’m old enough to buy fruit.’

  ‘What do you mean, old enough to buy fruit?’

  ‘You have to be eighteen to buy fruit in Buenos Sueños,’ she explained. ‘So show me some identification or move along. I don’t want to attract the attention of the police.’

  ‘But fruit is healthy,’ protested Adam. ‘It’s got vitamins and minerals and things,’ he added, vaguely remembering a rather tedious lecture the Doctor had given him one day on the benefits of eating fruit on long sea voyages. The only bit Adam had been really interested in was the symptoms of scurvy.

  ‘Exactly,’ said Isabel. ‘Vitamins and minerals keep everyone healthy.’

  ‘So why is there an age limit on buying them?’

  Isabel looked around. Seeing there was no one in earshot she leant forward and whispered confidentially, ‘Because people who eat lots of fruit live longer.’

  ‘But why is that a problem?’

  ‘It means that the undertakers don’t have as many bodies to bury. Therefore they can’t make as much money. Grivas the undertaker calls it “restraint of trade”. And, under the Buenos Sueños Crime and Punishment Code, restraining the trade of a legitimate business is punishable by a large fine.’

  Adam noticed a fading painted red spot next to the stall. Obviously in the past Isabel had been in receipt of a fine for restraining the trade of the undertaker by prolonging life by selling fruit and vegetables to an the under-eighteens.