All Grown Up

by Grubor, Sadie

  Judith and Christy were thrilled. Kenneth was a little shocked, mainly because I don’t think he wanted confirmation that his daughter was having sex. Judith and Christy immediately started planning out a baby shower that I told them was unnecessary.

  When I finally confided in Mina about the pregnancy, she immediately made the connection. Which is what I had been afraid of, why I put her off longer than anyone else.

  "Oh my God, Chloe. Is it..." I cut her off.

  "Shh…" I hushed her quickly. "Mina, let’s just not go there right now, please?"

  "Chloe, you can’t honestly expect me to lie to him," she brought her voice lower and whispered, "he’s my brother."

  "I am not confirming or denying anything. Right now, I need to figure out my life. Please, just understand that?" I pulled out the best pleading eyes and face look that I could.

  She huffed and then sighed. "Fine, but if I’m ever asked…I can’t lie about it. You understand me?"

  "I understand…and I am so sorry to put you in this position. I just…I…" The tears started. My cheeks and my tear ducts had become very close friends.

  "Shhhh…" She moved out of her chair and wrapped her arms around me, "I know it’s all crazy and…well, it’s fucked up right now. It’s okay, just calm down."

  She asked me about Dom and I told her about our ‘separate’ living. We talked for about another hour before we said our goodbyes, making plans to have lunch again soon.

  More months had passed and my stomach was a clear indicator of my ‘condition’ as well as the fact that regular clothes were no longer an option. Thankfully, Mina had already researched the best place to buy practical and non-hideous maternity clothing. It was nice to not hate the clothes that I had to wear since I had a little less than three months to go.

  Climbing out of the shower one afternoon, I was surprised by Dom. He was standing at the open door of the guest bathroom. I grabbed a towel quickly and wrapped it around myself.

  "I didn’t…know you were there," I stuttered and blushed, feeling guilty for having the large bump.

  "I should’ve knocked," he whispered out breathily.

  "I’ll be out in just a minute," I turned to grab my robe, but stopped when I felt his arms come around me and his hands land on my stomach. "Dom…" I almost started to sob.

  His fingers fanned out on my stomach as he growled in my ear.

  "You have never looked more beautiful, Chloe." I gasped as he turned me around and then lifted me bridal style toward the guest room door.

  "Dom–"

  "You are not a guest in this house. You are my wife, you are carrying my child," he spoke sternly and laid me across the bed, climbing in next to me.

  "We both know that it isn’t–"

  "Chloe, don’t say it. As far as anyone is concerned, this is my child, our child. Do you understand me?" His tone wasn’t mean, but there was a hint of warning and it scared me.

  "I have to tell him," I spit out quickly.

  His body tensed and I could hear his breathing through his nose. I began to pull away from him.

  "You will do no such thing!" Now he was shouting. "I swear to God, Chloe, don’t push me with this. I will not take anything out on you or the child, but I will take things out on him. In fact, I would take great pleasure in taking everything out on him."

  "I am just as guilty…" there was a loud crash. I looked over and saw that he had taken his arm and cleared off the side table, including the lamp. I climbed as quickly as I could from the bed and backed away from him. He saw the fear on my face.

  "I-I’m sorry," he breathed out and then moved quickly toward me. I stepped back from his approach. He froze. "I would never hurt you." He scowled. I bit my lip as he stepped closer and then pulled me to his chest.

  Once again, he pulled me down to the bed and climbed in next to me. He pulled the towel away from my body and placed his hand across my bare stomach.

  "Am I able to feel anything yet?" I nodded.

  "Yes, but," I swallowed hard as the tears streaked down the side of my head, "he isn’t moving much right now."

  "He?" Dom looked to my face quickly. I nodded and he smiled. "If you have those photos, I would like to see them," he said in a low, loving tone as he pressed his lips to my stomach and then trailed them up my body until he claimed my lips.

  Dom made love to me that night. Twice. Since that moment, he struggled to keep his hands off of me and my stomach. The first time he felt the baby move, his face was like a kid in a candy store and I had to force him to wait until we were home from the restaurant before trying to attack my body.

  Roni, Mina, and I had gotten much closer again. We spent an obscene amount of time together. Roni and Max had a small wedding with a few friends and family. I had been put on bed rest due to early contractions so I wasn’t able to attend. I had pouted for a week about it.

  A week before the baby was due, Dom and I had started going back and forth with baby names. When Dom mentioned that his grandfather’s name was Anthony, I instantly perked up. Dom worshiped his late grandfather and I also had selfish personal reasons for my attraction to the name, it was the one thing that I could give his biological father.

  Anthony Kenneth Fiorello was born, weighing in at six pounds three ounces and twenty inches long. His head was dusted with light red hair and it only took one look into his beautiful little face for Dom and me to fall in love with him even more. Mina and Roni had come bearing gifts, along with Christy, Randy, Michele, Elaine, Robert, Judith, and Kenneth. Kenneth was completely flattered by the middle name we chose. The day after little Tony, as Dom had nicknamed him, was born, Dom’s mother and father arrived with his three sisters.

  Once we got home, time seemed to fly. I finished school, pushing myself to graduate early. All the while, Anthony had gone from bottles and diapers to sippy cups and training pants.

  I didn’t continue on towards getting my Master’s Degree, my career plan completely forgotten. Dom wanted Tony to have me at home and I was too content to be with him to fight him on this. Dom was an extremely proud and doting father, even when ‘little Tony’ started to look less like a Fiorello and more like the ghost of the man who haunted me daily.

  As Tony grew, his appearance changed. He looked like me, but had the hazel eyes and dark hair Elaine and Leo shared. At the age of nine months, these were two dead give-a-ways that he was Leo’s son.

  When he turned one, Roni announced that Max and she were adopting a one year old little girl from China named Lin. I made instant plans with Roni to bring her over frequently to play with Tony.

  When Tony was eighteen months old, Dom pleaded for me to get pregnant again. After everything he had forgiven and accepted, I couldn’t deny him his own child. I also knew the love that I had for Anthony and the thought of another child, a child with Dom, thrilled me.

  By the time Tony had turned two, we were not successful in conceiving, which resulted in a visit with a specialist who told us that Dom could not have children. He was crushed and I was crushed for him. We had been struggling with each other ever since the discovery had been made.

  Tony was two and a half by the time we had finally accepted that we would never have a biological child of our own. He had my nose, my skin and my lips, but his eyes and hair became more and more like Leo. Sometimes it was hard to look at Tony without a tear streaming down my cheek.

  Leo

  When I overheard my mother talking to Judith about Chloe and Domenico expecting a baby, my stomach turned. I couldn’t believe that I had let it all get away from me. It could have been her that I married and was having children with. I sat thinking back to everything that had happened. I had been so stupid and selfish.

  Over the past few years I had focused on my company and becoming a man. Scarlett had hinted at wanting to get involved but I quickly and easily turned her down, stating that we worked together. I had dated a few different women, but never let anything serious develop. I needed the time to be on my own, to g
row, live my own life without someone else defining me.

  I was proud of where I had taken my company. Mack Sound Studio was a highly respected and sought after production company. We had signed quite a few new artists and even had established recording artists coming to us. The company had grown from a fifteen man team to over two hundred employees requiring an expansion to our office space, which Elaine helped to design and decorate.

  Now that I was comfortable with the company, I devoted more time to my family and friends. I spent at least two nights a month with Mina and Oliver. We’d have dinner or go out. It didn’t matter, staying connected was the key. Roni and Max had adopted a little girl named Lin, who I completely adored. She was like my own daughter and Roni often yelled at me for spoiling her. I would always show up to their house with gifts and junk food. I also kidnapped her often, taking her on our little Leo and Lin dates to the playground or ice cream parlor. On the days that I would show up and Roni had Lin at Chloe’s to visit with her, I would honestly say that I was upset, both because I knew Lin was playing with Chloe’s son and also because Lin made me happy.

  When Lin turned three, Roni and Max announced that they were expecting a baby. The whole family was absolutely ecstatic. Roni was already five months pregnant. They had kept it to themselves since there was the risk that she would miscarry. When she was seven months pregnant, Roni was put on bed rest, so I took over with helping out with Lin. Since Max still traveled a lot for football, Roni needed as much help as possible. I knew that Chloe was helping her out, but I figured this was the perfect chance for me to spoil my little Lin.

  One afternoon, I decided to stop by unexpectedly to kidnap her. When I arrived, I noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Stepping out of my car, I heard laughter and loud giggles coming from the back yard.

  Walking around the house, I unlocked the childproof fence and saw the large bouncer that I had bought Lin for being completely potty trained.

  That’s right, Uncle Leo spoiled her a little bit. Just a little bit.

  I could see Lin’s brown hair bouncing around inside, but there was also an unknown reddish-brown head. I stepped closer, looking at a familiar hair color.

  "Leo?" I snapped around quickly to see Mina and Roni sitting on the back porch, both of them wide eyed.

  "Hi, I was going to pick up Lin but I guess she has a friend over." I smiled and walked over to the porch. "How are you feel…" That’s when she appeared in the back door. Brown hair pulled high on her head and eyes as deep and beautiful as they always would be. She stopped abruptly, one foot outside the door. She bit her lip and Goddamn it if I didn’t feel a twitch behind my zipper. She still could make me react to her without a single touch.

  "Uh…hi, Chloe," I forced out.

  "H-hi," she stammered.

  "Well, Leo," Roni broke the deafening silence. "Lin has company today. How about tomorrow?" I turned to Roni and smiled at her.

  "Sure. I’ll call you tomorrow before I stop by." I turned back to Chloe and Mina. "Bye." They both nodded and I turned to leave. A small, disheveled, brown haired boy stopped me in my tracks. He was running after Lin who was heading straight for me.

  Lin jumped into my arms and squeezed me tightly as she giggled and planted a kiss on my cheek.

  "How’s my girl today?" She laughed as I tickled her stomach.

  I was suddenly distracted when I heard Chloe’s voice.

  "Tony, come here, baby," she said in a loud whisper. I watched as the little boy walked to Chloe and climbed into her arms. She quickly disappeared into the house with him. Placing lots of kisses on Lin’s head, I put her down, said goodbye again, and headed to my car.

  The car ride home was uncomfortable, thoughts of Chloe going through my mind. There was one more thing that kept nagging at me, that little boy. I think Chloe called him Tony. He was so familiar, yet unfamiliar. I thought maybe it was because he looked like Chloe, or maybe even Domenico. I gave up and brushed the thoughts out of my head. Instead, I thought about what I would plan for Lin tomorrow.

  Chloe

  After the run in with Leo, I almost had a nervous breakdown. I stood in Roni’s kitchen praying that he would leave and not come in the house. I was sure that he was going to see his own eyes looking back at him. Once Mina told me he had left, I packed Tony and myself up and headed straight home.

  A month later, Roni gave birth to Brandon Jonathan Gallagher. He had the bluest eyes and his head was covered in thin, wrinkled, strawberry blond hair. I was sure that he would have curls or wavy hair as he got older. Mina and I lavished numerous gifts on the newest arrival.

  Several months had passed since Brandon was born. Tony and I were home alone while Domenico was in Italy. Domenico was supposed to arrive back to Seattle tomorrow morning. I packed up a travel bag of snacks, DVDs, books and toys to occupy Tony in the car and at the airport when we went to welcome Domenico home.

  I woke the next morning to the sound of the home phone and my cell phone ringing in synchronization. After stretching, I yawned and started to sit up. Mrs. Jones burst through my bedroom door in tears, sobbing loudly.

  I jumped out of bed.

  "What it is?" I yelled. I ran to her as she collapsed on the floor. "What is it, Mrs. J? What?" I don’t know why but terror instantly filled my body and I began to shake.

  "The plane…" she sobbed. I could feel the tears burning my eyes before they started to fall. "It crashed," she cried in agony.

  I felt my chest rip apart in that instant.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Diagnosis

  Chloe

  It was Tony who snapped me out of my ‘space out’ as I sat in my bedroom staring at the black dress laid across the bed for me to put on.

  "Momma." I looked over to him and smiled as he held his arms out to me. I pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him firmly on top of his head.

  He was too young to understand what had happened. The man he knew as his father would no longer walk through our front door, no longer teach him Italian and no longer lay next to me. I felt the tears start again and saw Tony’s confused face as he looked at me.

  "Hey, Tony, why don’t we go get you dressed?" Mrs. Jones had come and lifted him from my lap as I wiped the tears away.

  "Thank you," I looked up to her and tried to smile. It just wasn’t working. She nodded and carried him away.

  Mina appeared a moment later wearing all black. I felt like I was trapped in a black and white movie.

  "Come on, Chloe, we need to get you dressed." She took my arm and pulled me over to the bed where she helped me into the black dress and shoes.

  I met Tony in the hallway before we both headed to the large, black limousine. Aron, Dom’s business partner, helped us both into the car and climbed in next to us. Dom’s family was following behind us.

  The church was packed full of family, friends and business associates. There were also reporters posted out in front of the church trying to get pictures and interviews. I sat clinging to Tony in the front row with Kenneth’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. Judith was on the other side of Tony. I wiped away so many tears that I knew Mina’s make up job had been pointless.

  After everyone had listened to the speakers, prayers and priest, it was time to approach the closed casket. My heart ached knowing that underneath that lid was my husband, my lover, my best friend. I would never hear him sing to me in Italian or be surprised by one of his grand gestures again.

  One hand quickly went to the top of the casket to hold myself up. Kenneth appeared next to me and walked me out of the church. Judith brought Tony out. The camera flashes were annoying and I hurriedly climbed into the limo with Tony. When I saw Roni, Christy and Mina climb into the car with me, I broke down into a sobbing mess.

  The burial went smoothly and, once Dom’s body was laid to rest, we all gathered at a large country club in Seattle. Mina had planned the whole thing while I had laid in bed all week like a zombie. His plane was struck by lightning over Kansas.


  I sat at a table with Dom’s family and my own as guests conversed and offered their condolences. Watching Tony play with his cousins was the highlight of my afternoon.

  Standing at the bar, waiting for my second glass of Chardonnay, I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned around and looked into the grown eyes of my son. My breathing hitched. I hadn’t even thought about Leo attending. Now I stared him in the face, feeling disgusted with the choices I had made in the past.

  "Chloe, shit, I am so sorry for your loss." His eyes dropped to the floor. "I can’t…I really don’t even know what to say." I tried to smile, I just couldn’t muster the expression. The only thing that made me smile was Tony.

  As soon as I thought about him, he appeared next to me.

  "Momma." I looked down to him. "Cookie?" He requested.

  "Hey there, little Tony. Let Aunt Mina get you a cookie, okay?" I set him down and Mina led him over to the table.

  I turned back to Leo who was watching Tony with Mina.

  "Thank you," I said quickly, trying to pull his attention away from the little boy that was his. The child that I had selfishly kept from him. I didn’t need this to go down today. I couldn’t take any more right now. No matter how selfish I had already been, I was continuing for now.

  He turned his attention back to me with a calculated look. We hugged briefly and I returned to the family table.

  Leo

  I almost ran to her when she was about to collapse by his casket. I still couldn’t believe that Domenico was dead, that his plane had gone down because of lightning. I was still in shock. However, I could see that Chloe was in more than just shock. She was lost. I wanted to comfort her but I knew it wasn’t my place.

  Once we arrived at the country club, I sat down with my mother and father, Mina and Oliver, Roni, Max and K.C. I saw Chloe approach the bar and I excused myself from the table, heading straight to her.

  Not knowing what to say, I cleared my throat and she turned around. I was offering her my condolences when her son appeared at her side. When she lifted him into her arms, I got a clear look at his face. He looked like Chloe except for the hair and the eyes. When Mina appeared calling herself ‘Aunt Mina’, something clicked in my head. The boy looked absolutely nothing like Dom or his family.