Back in Her Husband's Arms

by Susanne Hampton

  Reason reminded her that it would never happen, so leaving without a word would be best. She hoped he’d leave a note on the hotel stationery. That’s all she should expect. All she wanted, she tried to convince herself.

  She had loved every minute of his hands and his body on hers. The tenderness and sense of belonging had been undeniable but now, hearing him dressing in the other room, she knew it had been wrong. It had been a lapse in judgement for both of them.

  The door of the bathroom opened and Tom emerged fully dressed. Sara closed her eyes again. She didn’t want him to catch her awake, thinking about what might have been. He fumbled for his boots then slipped on his jacket. She watched through half-open eyes as he made his way to the desk and scribbled something on the hotel notepad. Quietly, he crossed to the door of her room, opened it and left quietly. He was gone.

  As the door shut, Sara sat bolt upright. She was so grateful he was gone. Or was she? She felt horribly confused. There was nothing sweeter than falling asleep wrapped in Tom’s arms, the heat of his naked body pressed against hers.

  But she had to move on. He wouldn’t change. He couldn’t change. And she was tired of changing for everyone else. She almost had the divorce. She would be free. They would be free of each other. They were two very different people with very different priorities.

  She wanted children.

  He didn’t.

  And this time she was walking away to live her life, her way.

  * * *

  She remembered climbing from the warm bed and heading to the shower. Trying to make sense of the night was pointless, she decided as the warm water ran over her back and shoulders. Images of Tom making love to her came rushing back. She closed her eyes and turned to face the water head-on. The water soaked her hair and ran down her face. She was leaving for Texas in eight short weeks. And she would never see Tom Fielding again.

  She turned off the water and wrapped herself in a fluffy white bath towel and returned to the scene of the crime. There was a wrapper or two that she didn’t want the hotel staff to find, so she picked them up and put them in the bin. Tom was so very good at being bad but he was always very careful.

  She crossed to the desk and picked up the note.

  Dear Sara,

  Lovely to spend time with you. All the very best for Texas.

  Always,

  Tom x

  She smiled, a bittersweet smile at the sadness of the situation. Two people who loved each other but who both had to accept it could never be.

  Sara hadn’t really pushed for divorce at first but now, with a new life in America awaiting her, she no longer wanted to be Dr Sara Fielding, wife of Dr Tom Fielding. She needed to be single. To have a chance at happiness and a family.

  She had only filed for the divorce six months before. She had held onto the idea he would change his mind for too long and she knew it. But Tom had finally agreed to sign the papers. He too had accepted they were over. The way he’d left this morning showed that. Last night had been like two friends who had given in to their emotions for just one night. But her rationale was fragile in the early morning light.

  * * *

  The sudden sound of an ambulance siren brought Sara back from her reverie. She was beside the tall red-brick hospital walls of Augustine General Hospital and quite close to the front doors and the hospital office of her good friend Stu Anderson. Just after she’d returned from her first trip to Melbourne, Stu had mentioned he was in need of a locum oral surgeon to oversee his private practice while he was away. Sara had had the time and had wanted to help out so she had agreed to work the four weeks before she left for the US.

  She was aware returning to Melbourne could hold some difficulties but she also knew she had to push past the hurt and accept the shortfalls of the city. The shortfalls being her failed marriage and the sadness that weighed down her memories of the time she had spent there. She’d studied, she’d fallen in love and she’d left. Now, all these years later she thought she needed to accept that life wasn’t perfect here but she didn’t need to stay away any longer. She just needed to keep her emotions in check.

  With this new resolve, it hadn’t seemed such a bad idea when she had agreed to help out but now, being back in the city, memories of the night she had spent with Tom came charging back, and she was a little more anxious about her stay.

  She tried to remind herself that Melbourne was a big city. She could avoid the Vue de Monde, and the martini bar. That wouldn’t be too difficult as there were many more restaurants and she wasn’t that fond of vermouth anyway. And luckily Tom consulted at a hospital the other side of the city.

  Mindful of the hospital traffic, Sara kept to the pedestrian pathway as she made her way to the entrance. The ambulance had pulled up in the emergency parking bay and the paramedics, now joined by two hospital staff, were already removing the gurney from the back of the vehicle.

  She walked around to the automatic sliding doors of the visitors’ entrance. At least she was finally under shelter. Removing her heavy overcoat, she shook the excess water out over the large grey rubber mat before she placed the coat over her arm and stepped inside. Thankfully, inside the hospital was much warmer than outside. She slipped off her gloves and placed them into the pocket of her coat. Crossing to the information counter, she ran her fingers through her damp hair and wiped the moisture from her face.

  ‘Hello, I’m here to see Dr Anderson. Oral maxillofacial surgery.’

  The receptionist smiled, although the second glances Sara was receiving from the other administration staff made her think her appearance was a little battered by the weather. She quickly realised her hair was more than just damp when she felt trickles run down her temples and into her left ear.

  The young woman picked up a box of tissues from behind the high grey and white panelled counter and offered them to Sara. ‘It’s really coming down out there, isn’t it?’

  With an embarrassed smile she took a few tissues and mopped her wet forehead, cheeks and ear.

  ‘You need to take the elevator at the end of this corridor up to the fourth floor and you’ll find the oral surgery consulting rooms on the left as you step out.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Sara replied, trying to stifle a yawn. The effect of a long night of surgery, combined with an early morning flight, was starting to show. Sara had tried to keep busy since her last trip to Melbourne; she hadn’t wanted any time to think about what she had done. Unfortunately, returning to Melbourne was rapidly bringing it all back.

  * * *

  Tom Fielding sat in his office on the fourth floor of Augustine General Hospital, thinking back to the night he’d spent with Sara, the way he had thought about it every day for the last four weeks. Each day since that fateful night vivid, unwanted memories had reminded him of how much he still loved his soon-to-be-ex-wife. Still wanted her but couldn’t have her. He had decided to give her the divorce, hand her back her life and return to his alone. But that one night together had destroyed the solace he had finally found; it ate away at his core that there was no future for them. They had different goals, different plans for their lives, and there was no common ground any more.

  Except in a hotel room at midnight.

  Tom remembered his surprise and elation when he’d spied his beautiful ex-wife sitting alone across from him in the restaurant. In his eyes she was still the most gorgeous, captivating woman in the world. She was intelligent, kind, caring, strong willed and the most giving lover a man could want. A shared dinner had led to drinks and then to her hotel.

  Once he had been inside her room, Tom hadn’t been able to control himself any longer. Sara had made it very clear that she wanted him just as much. He had been risking everything, including his sanity, but he’d wanted this woman more than life itself. Even if it was for just one last time.

  In the morning Tom had opened hi
s eyes to see his wife lying beside him. Ex-wife, reasoning reminded him. She was sleeping so soundly. She was so beautiful. Her short blonde hair had been a mess, a beautiful mess. A mess he had created when he’d been making love to her all night. The curves of her naked body had been softly lit by the rays that had peeped through the curtain break.

  He’d resisted the urge to stroke her soft, tempting skin. She was such a sound sleeper, he knew that from the time they’d spent as husband and wife, but he hadn’t wanted to risk waking her. He’d known he had to slip from the bed and leave. It would be best for both of them. Trying to make sense of what they’d done would be impossible. Sara had made it very clear that she was heading overseas. She was starting a new life and he had to do the same. He had to give her the divorce. He had to give her the freedom she needed and return to his life without her.

  He loved her, and maybe she still loved him a little at least, but in a few weeks they would be divorced. She had reminded him of that fact last night in the restaurant. She was moving on, she had told him at the bar where they’d enjoyed a martini together. Leaving for the US in a few weeks to start afresh in a new country, she had told him at the door of her hotel room at midnight.

  They hadn’t talked about their past, they hadn’t talked about their work. And they hadn’t spoken about their differences. They’d spoken about the present, about light-hearted subjects. It was as if they had been two strangers who hadn’t wanted to know anything too deep about each other.

  It was an unspoken agreement; each knowing they would only share one last night. Tom didn’t want to hold up his end of that unspoken agreement. He wanted his wife back. He wanted to wake up every morning with her in his arms. But he was a logical man and he accepted that could never be.

  Before he’d left the room he had paused to take one last look at Sara still asleep in the rumpled bed sheets. She’d looked like an angel. His angel for one last night.

  CHAPTER TWO

  ‘SLOW DOWN...AND tell me how exactly you came to misplace a patient?’

  ‘I’m not sure, Dr Fielding. His name was...oh, what was his name again? That’s right...Kowalski...Joseph Kowalski. I can’t believe he’s gone. I messed up big time. I’m so sorry, Dr Fielding. I’m really sorry. I’m such an idiot.’

  ‘Johnson, take a breath. I examined Mr Kowalski in my ward a little over an hour ago. He had multiple mandibular fractures and if I’m not mistaken a blood alcohol close to point two. He was in a hospital gown and hooked up to an IV. I can’t see him travelling very far without being noticed.’

  Sara Fielding stepped back from the open doorway to where she couldn’t be seen. Dr Fielding? What was he doing here? He didn’t consult at this hospital. He was the oral and maxillofacial consultant at Lower North Eastern on the other side of the city. It was where she had done her training. It was where they met. Why was he here? He must be visiting Stu to say goodbye, as they were friends. They had all been friends once, she reminded herself.

  ‘I know, right, how far could he get?’ the young voice returned in varying pitch, trying to convince himself of a good outcome. But his struggle showed when his voice gave in to a nervous stutter. ‘I—I spoke with Security at the b-back and front gates and he hasn’t left the grounds.’

  ‘Well, that’s comforting, I’d hate to see footage of our escapee on television tonight. We don’t want to see our director’s face on the six p.m. news if they splash shots of the bare backside of an inebriated elderly man, still attached to an IV stand, walking down Swan Street. I can only imagine the paperwork involved with that Ministerial inquiry.’

  Stunned, Sara collapsed back against the wall out of the view of Tom and the young man she assumed was either a final year undergraduate or an intern. Our director? Her heart was racing and her stomach had tied itself in a knot. She didn’t hear any of what he was telling the young man after those two words, she just heard the thumping of the blood in her temples. Tom Fielding must now be consulting at this hospital. Her hospital.

  ‘Security, please.’ Tom spoke into the phone then, while waiting for the connection, he began skimming through the unread emails on his computer screen. After a moment, he continued. ‘It’s Tom Fielding, I’m just checking on the status of a missing patient. Joseph Kowalski. Admitted to the oral surgery ward about two hours ago, apparently did a runner out of the ward... Oh, okay. The cafeteria—poor man’s probably hungry. So where is he now? Right, that’s unfortunate. I’ll send the intern to collect him promptly. Thanks.’ With that he hung up the phone.

  ‘Well, Johnson, I suggest you head to the florist on the ground floor. Kowalski’s in there, trying to purchase a bouquet, and apparently while searching for his imaginary wallet underneath his hospital gown he has managed to show the family jewels to the volunteers. They’re a little disturbed, so you need to calmly head down and collect him. But remember, you’re no good to anyone, and particularly not Mr Kowalski, if you beat yourself up about it. You followed hospital procedure. You notified Security, and me, and they have him. Good outcome, so just head off and take him back to the ward pronto.’

  Sara clenched her eyes closed. Her mind was struggling to process what was happening. It made no sense to her. Stu had set up the appointment at the hospital to discuss his caseload and show her around the operating theatres. Then he was going to take her to his practice, which was apparently only a few blocks away. There had definitely been no mention of Tom in the conversation. If there had been she wouldn’t have agreed to come. Nervously, she smoothed her skirt and tugged her jacket back into position.

  More than anything, she wanted to run. To disappear and not face Tom again. But she couldn’t. She had made a promise to Stu to locum for him for the month. A promise she couldn’t break.

  The heat began rising in her cheeks. Her heart began beating a little faster. Elevating anxiety was threatening her composure but she was fighting back. She tried to put the situation into perspective quickly. She had limited time to find a solution, a tidy way to process this.

  The practice would occupy most of her time. There would be Theatre two days a week or perhaps only one and a half. She would be consulting at the private practice at least three days, maybe even three and a half. Thoughts of their recent night together, their romantic whirlwind engagement and their year as husband and wife had to be replaced hurriedly with a professional demeanour. She needed to rebuild those walls that had protected her for the last three years and which would once again be her saviour when she walked into the office to face Tom.

  Clearly his presence at the hospital would complicate things but she wouldn’t run and hide. She needed to face this head-on. She was thirty-two years old now with a respected medical career. The fact that they had spent one crazy night together couldn’t affect their work, they had to put it behind them.

  Perhaps he already had done that, she told herself. He had left the hotel room without a word and he hadn’t contacted her since, so he must be feeling the same way. She desperately needed to freeze her heart before she saw his face.

  Reaching down for her briefcase, she waited a moment for the young man to leave. With her head held high, she would walk into Tom’s office and behave as if nothing had ever happened.

  Unfortunately, she assumed the young man would be walking, not running, and not straight into her.

  His full weight met with her tiny frame, sending her crashing back into the wall and her briefcase tumbling down to the ground.

  ‘Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,’ he gasped, as he reached out to steady Sara. ‘Are you okay?’

  Sara was stunned into silence for a moment. Finally she managed to mutter, ‘I’m fine, really.’ She was a little shaken but didn’t want to make a fuss. Bending down to gather her belongings, she didn’t think the day could get any worse.

  ‘No, you’re not. You’re bleeding. You’ve cut your leg!
’

  Sara spied the gash on her knee. The open lock on her briefcase must have cut her before it hit the ground.

  ‘Come with me. You’ll have to sit down while I get some antiseptic and gauze.’ The young man directed Sara into the office he had just left. Tom’s office. This was not the entrance she had hoped to make, which had been walking in confidently and meeting Tom on an equal footing. Now, limping in, she wasn’t going to meet him on any footing.

  * * *

  Tom didn’t lift his eyes from the papers he was reading on his desk. Sara noticed his white exam coat was still thrown over the chair. He had always hated wearing it, and apparently he still did. The top button of his blue striped shirt was undone and there was no sign of a tie.

  ‘They’re waiting downstairs, Johnson...you need to get there stat.’ His voice was stern but not abrasive.

  Sara stood in the doorway supported by her apologetic assailant. Across the room she watched the man who had captured her heart all those years ago and who had made love to her only a few short weeks ago. For the briefest moment time seemed to stand still. Her resolve to forget their history vanished and she found herself wondering how it would be if things had been different between them.

  She hated feeling this way. It wasn’t fair and she couldn’t allow her feelings to cloud her future. The chemistry they shared had allowed the anger and frustration to dissipate over dinner and drinks. But here in the hospital she would fight it. Her biological clock was ticking louder than her heart and she was determined that Tom Fielding would not rob her of the chance to have a family. She would not make that sacrifice. Letting him leave the hotel room had proved to Sara that she had the reserves to do it. To walk away a second time, and to let him do the same.