He had too much to lose by letting Sara leave again. He wouldn’t do it. Not today or ever. He would tell Heath how very sorry he was about what had happened but that he refused to lose the love of his life because of his own unwillingness to put the past behind him.
Tom reached for the phone. He had to do it for his child, and for his wife. He was hurting the woman he loved. And he would hurt the child she was carrying if he didn’t stop it now.
With trepidation he dialled the number in San Francisco. He knew it was late at night but he couldn’t wait for a better time. There would never be a better time than now.
‘Hello,’ came Heath’s voice down the line.
‘Hi, brother, it’s Tom.’
‘Since I don’t have any other brothers I’d guessed that one, old man,’ Heath responded in a light-hearted tone. ‘What can I do for you? Must be urgent to be calling at this hour.’
Tom didn’t know where to start. His brother’s joviality unnerved him further. He knew he was going to be delivering a blow and he wasn’t sure how to begin. It was the hardest call he had ever made. The culmination of years of guilt and blame. Tom felt his chest tighten. He was about to tell a man who had been robbed of the chance of ever being a father that he was going to have a child with a woman he had always loved and would love for ever. A woman he could not let go. Tom’s throat went dry before he spoke.
‘Sara’s pregnant.’
There was silence on the phone. Tom felt a cold sweat rush over him.
‘God, that’s got to hurt. I know you still love her, so who’s the lucky guy?’ Heath said. ‘Do you want me to help you take him out?’
‘No, you don’t need to take anyone out. It’s me. I’m the father.’
There was silence again. Tom felt his stomach knot. He wasn’t sure what reaction would follow.
‘Awesome news. So you two are back together, then, I assume. I’m happy for you both. Congratulations!’ Heath answered with elation colouring his sleepy voice. ‘Sorry, Tom, I had to leave the bedroom. I’m not alone. Tory’s here and I didn’t want to wake her.’
Tom was surprised. Not that Heath had a woman there but that he’d never mentioned in previous calls that he was seeing anyone.
‘It was one of those rare nights Tory’s parents take the children so we get an uninterrupted night together and a lie-in tomorrow morning. That’s a hint...don’t call again unless it’s an emergency.’
‘Tory?’
‘I’m sure I’ve mentioned her. We’ve been seeing each other for almost five months now.’ Heath dropped his voice to not much more than a whisper. ‘I’m going to ask her to marry me.’
Tom was stunned into silence. Happy for his brother but stunned into a mute.
‘I’m the luckiest guy in the world!’
‘I’m happy for you,’ Tom began. ‘But I never thought of you as lucky. Particularly after the accident...that I caused.’
‘Tom, don’t tell me you’re not still harping on about that? For God’s sake, man, that wasn’t your fault. It was me, a bike and an asphalt BMX run.’
‘I know what you’re saying but I caused it.’
Heath’s voice became a little louder. ‘You can stop taking credit right here and now. I had, and still have, the power to exercise free will. I used it that day and I continue to use it every day. I chose a risky trick and it went wrong, but...’ he paused ‘...that was my fault, with maybe some assistance from the universe. Just all-round bad timing.’
Tom felt the tightening in his chest loosen a little. ‘But when the IVF didn’t work...’
‘And now you think you’re to blame for my marriage breakdown?’
Tom nodded into the phone.
‘You have been thinking way too much, little brother. I can’t believe you’ve been stewing over all this. The marriage broke down because we were unhappy, unsuited and unhappy. We were trying to have a baby as a solution to a marriage with a million flaws. We stupidly thought a baby would be the glue to hold us together. That would have been the biggest mistake. I am so grateful it never happened. It would have been the child who paid the price in the end, living with two unhappy parents.’
Tom had had no idea. This was not what he’d expected to hear.
‘And then I met Tory. The most wonderful woman in the world. Her husband was a marine. He was killed on a tour of duty in Iraq about three years ago. She’s the best mother and just the most caring soul I could ever meet. And she doesn’t want any more children. She had four. And it’s a bonus that I don’t have to have the vasectomy that she was going to ask me to undergo, until I broke the news about my fertility issues.’
Tom was elated beyond belief. Knowing his brother was in a great place made his decision so much simpler. They were both in love with wonderful women.
‘As much as I would love to chat, it’s after midnight here so I am going to say goodnight now and call you tomorrow. We rarely get a night to ourselves so I’m not about to spend it on you,’ he laughed. ‘Please say big congrats to Sara and can’t wait for you guys to meet Tory and the girls. I did tell you I’m going to be the stepfather of four daughters, didn’t I? I’m going to need a shotgun to keep the boys away if they are as gorgeous as their mum.’
With that he hung up, leaving Tom looking at the phone and wondering why he had wasted all this time.
He wasn’t about to waste one minute more.
‘I’ve been such a fool. An idiot of grand proportions,’ he said to Marjorie as he rushed into the office and grabbed his car keys. ‘You don’t happen to know Sara’s flight details, do you?’
‘You’re in luck. I overheard her call to the travel agent the other day and, being the busybody I am, I jotted it down,’ she answered with a huge smile, as she pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket. ‘It’s flight three-five-two, gate seven, and hurry.’
He leant over, grabbed the paper and kissed her forehead on the way. ‘Thank God you’re a busybody.’
* * *
‘Your ticket or booking confirmation, please, and your passport, Dr Fielding.’
Sara took a deep breath and reached for both from her carry-on luggage. Her travel agent had secured her a first-class ticket to Paris. The city of love? Sara knew that wouldn’t be the case this time but it would fit her story perfectly. A fling that had resulted in a baby. Perhaps she would say her lover was a diplomat and he’d been forced to return to his homeland; or a politician; or...or... Sara couldn’t think properly.
She would make up a story that wouldn’t cause a scandal or embarrass her child. Also one that wouldn’t have her child hurting for a father who didn’t want to be in their lives. She never wanted her child to know that Tom had let her go. He’d let the two of them leave his life. No child deserved to think they weren’t wanted and loved.
Sara rubbed her temples as she waited for her boarding pass to be issued. There was so much to plan and consider.
* * *
Tom raced through the traffic, rechecking his watch every few minutes, hoping that he would make it before Sara boarded the plane.
* * *
‘Last call for passengers on Qantas flight three-five-two for Paris. Now boarding at gate seven.’ The voice echoed across the international airport lounge. It was Sara’s flight. This was it. For the last two hours she had sat alone in the terminal, thinking about the last six weeks. It was supposed to be a quick trip to the embassy, then a month taking care of Stu’s practice. How was she supposed to know that she was already pregnant with Tom’s baby when she’d arrived?
Sadness wasn’t consuming her any more. The ache in her heart was lessening. She had a new life to cherish and she was in love with the baby she was carrying. She felt blessed to be having a child by the man she loved, even if he wasn’t going to be a part of their lives.
Although it
wasn’t sadness she felt for herself—she felt sorry for Tom. He would never have any part in the life of the child she was carrying. None. He would miss out on so much joy. And love.
But she couldn’t spend her life thinking about Tom Fielding. Not even another day. She had to accept what had happened and pretend that she didn’t love Tom with all her heart. Until it was true. Until she had no feelings for him. She had to move on and raise their child.
There was no turning back. She knew it would be a very long time before she returned to Melbourne. She would visit Stu and Dana one day in the future but it would take time. Time to heal the wounds. Time to build a new life...with her child.
Her head down, she made her way slowly to the departure gate. Her boarding pass was in her hand, although her heart was still nowhere to be found.
‘Sara,’ a familiar voice called out across the departure lounge. ‘Stop, don’t get on the plane!’
Sara swung her head round but there was only a sea of unfamiliar faces. No one she recognised...until he appeared. Jostling his tall frame though the throng of people. It was Tom. Desperation in his eyes, he made his way over and pulled her into his strong arms.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I love you and I was stupid for so long. But not stupid enough to let you go again.’
Sara was dazed. She had no more tears left.
‘I want you and our child more than you can ever know. I’ve been a fool.’
He kissed her mouth and pulled her closer still.
‘There’s so much I need to tell you, but the most important thing is to ask you for forgiveness for the pain I have put you through. I have been so caught up in doing what I thought was right I’ve made even bigger mistakes. In trying to right an injustice to Heath, I committed an even greater injustice to you. I was a fool of the biggest kind.’
Suddenly Sara pulled herself free from his arms and stepped back away from him. She closed her eyes for a moment to try and gain some composure. ‘Am I dreaming this? What are you doing, Tom? You chase me down and a minute before I fly away you tell me that you want me and our baby. Why? What’s changed?’
‘Me,’ he said, with the conviction of man who knew where he wanted and needed to be. ‘I’ve changed, Sara. I know I was stupid, putting principles before us. Before our happiness and the happiness of our child. I said that I needed to take responsibility for something that happened decades ago but I was letting you leave to bring up our child alone. That’s not taking responsibility.
‘What I did as a kid was reckless but to let you walk away, to never hold my child and tell him or her that they were wanted and loved would be far more irresponsible. I want you, Sara, I’ve always wanted you. And I want this baby, our baby, with all my heart.’
She looked at Tom and wanted so much to believe him but she didn’t trust her heart. It had led her down the wrong path before.
‘I’ve been living with a misplaced sense of guilt, and hurting you in the process. I was turning my back on the woman I love. I was driving you away. Please forgive me.’
She sat motionless for a minute, thinking about everything he had said, before she finally reached her hand across to his and nodded.
Sara looked into the eyes of the man she loved and knew he was telling her the truth. He kissed her again, and again and again, and held her in his arms for the longest time. He was happier than he had ever thought possible.
Finally he picked up her carry-on luggage and holding her hand tightly in his own, they walked away from the departure gate.
Sara stopped suddenly again. ‘How did you get here, into the international terminal, without a ticket?’
Tom held up a boarding pass. ‘I organised a ticket to Paris on my way here. I thought it would give me twenty-something hours to convince you to come home with me.’
Sara kissed him with tears streaming down her face.
Tom slipped her crystal keyring into her palm and closed her trembling fingers around them.
‘Just promise me, Cinders, that you’ll never leave me again.’
‘Cinders?’ she said, with eyes still bright from her tears. ‘You knew about the keyring?’
‘I’ve always known, Sara. It was another reason why I loved you. But I always felt I let my side of your crazy fairy-tale down.’
‘You could never let me down,’ she cried. ‘Unless you let me go.’ She met his kisses and melted into his arms.
‘Then I promise you, Sara Fielding, you will never be let down again.’
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781460333983
BACK IN HER HUSBAND'S ARMS
Copyright © 2014 by Susanne Panagaris
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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