Laid 2 Rest: Two Halves of a Whole

by Melanie Rose

  Tannon was completely focused on one of those ridged games where you had to get a softball inside the hole of a big metal milk jug. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him throw his last ball at the narrow opening. I whirled around quickly while the ball was still in midair because all kinds of red flags started going up, prompting me to flee the area.

  I didn’t stick around to see what happened next. I didn’t need too, I already knew.

  He would make that last shot to win a huge stuffed white tiger and I would know best because that same tiger ended up going home with me tonight after I convinced him to let me have it.

  Boys just seemed to give me whatever I wanted back then… no questions asked.

  Maya had to run to catch up with me, but I didn’t stop and kept right on speed walking until I reached the parking lot. It took us a while to locate my truck since I had no idea where my younger self had parked it, but once we did, we hopped in and took off.

  I was semi aware that Maya kept saying something to me, but I couldn’t quiet my mind down enough to hear her words because the voices in my head were screaming at me to get the hell out of there.

  We pulled up outside of her home, cut the engine, and just sat there in the dark. After a minute or so, Maya asked, “Are you going to tell me what in the world that was all about?”

  “I just had to get away from there is all.”

  “Did you get a bad vibe?”

  “Something like that. I saw someone I knew. Someone that wasn’t meant to see me in return, I guess.” I said, shutting my eyes before slumping forward to rest my forehead against the middle of the steering wheel after my head suddenly took on the weight of a large-sized boulder.

  Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep.

  What the hell is that noise, Maya?

  Sitting straight up, I glanced around, dazed. I was utterly annoyed when I finally figured out that it was my blasted alarm clock that had lost its damn mind making all that racket. Reaching over, I switched it off, grabbed the phone, and dialed without thinking. “Hello,” a hoarse voice groaned back at me.

  “Did I wake you? Sorry, I wasn’t even thinking about the time difference or how early it is over there right now. Go back to sleep and call me back when you can.”

  A little embarrassed, I hung up the phone. I would be lucky if I heard back from her at all, I thought to myself a half a second later. Maya really wasn’t a morning person. Besides, I had the distinct feeling that she would be nursing a hangover when she got up and would probably forget that I even called. I guess I was on my own for the moment.

  Checking my appointment book, I was psyched to see that no one was scheduled for a massage until 10:00am, giving me plenty of time to make sense out of what happened last night.

  Planting myself at my desk, I grabbed my favorite purple pen, a pad of paper, and jotted down the following:

  1. Gone no more than two hours

  2. Carnival in Panorama City, California

  3. Saw Leslie, Garrett, Maya and Tannon

  4. Warned Maya not to sleep with Garrett

  5. NEVER meet Tannon

  Tannon has to be the key this time or maybe Maya was. By running away and never meeting Tannon that night, I could only dream up one meaning... one possible outcome. That I would never know him. Not right then at least or maybe not ever. Was it better to never meet?

  Then again, maybe my goal was to protect Maya from Garrett and that crazy little situation she had gotten herself mixed up in.

  Man, this time traveling stuff needs to come with some blasted instructions!

  After wracking my brain for several more hours, my first appointment of the day arrived, causing my immediate transformation into business mode. The day flew by and by 3:30 pm my last appointment walked out my front door.

  I checked my answering machine. No messages. I tried my cell phone. However, I found no messages left there either. I should have known that Maya would not call me back so I moved onto e-mails instead. A big smile spread across my face, raising my spirits instantly the moment I found an e-mail from Jay.

  Before I could click it open, a message appeared at the bottom of the screen. Dang woman. It’s about time! It read.

  Hello to you too!!!! I replied with attitude.

  Where have you been all day?

  Working, I just finished up. Why? He must have called a few times while I was in with my clients. I had forgotten to check the phones for any MISSED calls.

  I got that weird feeling again like last time. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I sensed that you needed me? Do you remember that? I’ve been out of my mind with worry.

  Of course, I remember that. I’m sorry if I alarmed you, but as you can see, I’m just fine.

  You sure? I can fly out there. You know it won’t be a problem. I’m positive I can get a flight leaving sometime tonight.

  I’m okay, stay right where you are. Gees… you’re so over protective these days.

  I just can’t let anything happen to you! I have to keep you out of harms way. I’m sorry, but I really don’t know how else to explain it. I’ll call you tomorrow to see if you’ve changed your mind. Stay safe love.

  And just like that, he was gone.

  Allllllrighty then!

  Let me get this straight. Both times, I revisited my past; Jay has somehow been able to notice it. How could he sense that I wasn’t here? It was as if my connection to him was severed each time I traveled back in time.

  My body must remain behind in the present as far as I know or else my husband would have noticed and informed the police by now. This only leads me to believe that it has to be my spirit or soul out traveling thru time, popping in and out of the bodies of my former younger self like it was bored and had nothing else to do.

  How could he know that I was gone? I had more questions than ever now, but no one to answer them for me. Is this going to keep on happening to me?

  I tried calling Maya again, not really sure how she was going to help me, but I needed someone to talk to. She has to be home from work by now. “Hello,” she answered.

  “Were you not going to call me back?” I asked her in my most bitchy tone.

  “I didn’t forget. I was getting around to it. I’ve had a rough day, alright.”

  “Well, stop having so much fun the night before then! Hey, let me ask you something real quick. Do you recall a night at a carnival back in high school when I forbid you to sleep with a guy named Garrett?”

  “I think I should be the one asking you that question,” she replied, stone walling me.

  “Be serious and tell me what you remember!”

  “Fine. There’s no need to jump down my throat and could you please lower your volume a notch. I remember something about a STD and a pregnancy scare… why do you ask?”

  “Good, now forget about Garrett and I’m the one asking the questions right now. So, tell me what else you remember about that night?”

  “That was a long time ago, Jazz. However, I do recall that you were scared of someone or something and then you took off like a crazed speed demon. Oh and then you couldn’t figure out how we got from point A to point B. I tried to get you to tell me more about my future, but you got really mad at me and said how were you supposed to know, that you weren’t some damn fortune-teller!”

  “Soooooooo, I wasn’t able to remember any of it?”

  “Nope. Why is this important now? It happened years ago.”

  “Not for me it didn’t. For me, it happened last night and I’m trying to sort through the fog. None of my blanks have filled in yet and I’m a little concerned.”

  “Do you even know who you had to get away from that evening?”

  “Of course. That was the night I meet Tannon,” I said plainly back to her.

  “Well, since I’ve never heard you mention anyone named Tannon in my lifetime, my guess would be that you’ve never met him either since I knew everyone you knew or dated back then. You must have changed it. You two never met. Who wa
s he anyways?”

  I filled her in on all the fine details that I could still remember, like him giving me the stuffed tiger and about hanging out a couple of times after that night. How things couldn’t really get serious between us because he was from the wrong neighborhood and I was afraid of being shot if we were ever seen together.

  Tannon just so happened to be a Crip instead of a Blood like the rest of our ruff-neck friends which automatically explained everything to her (Red and blue gangbangers rarely play nice together if you didn’t know that, people), but he had become so infatuated with me in such a short amount of time, that he said he would have gotten jumped out of that lifestyle if I were to agree to stand by his side. He had given me a promise ring and everything and declared his profound love for me when he insisted on signing my yearbook that year.

  I just couldn’t do it though… it was not safe for me or for him to be together at that time. Not to mention that I didn’t care for him like that… I was still in love with Tyce for God’s sake. “A couple of months later you called to tell me that you had heard he had been shot in the face and killed in his own front yard,” I said sadly, remembering her dreary phone call to me.

  “Not to sound cruel or anything, but maybe it was for the best that you two never met because that could have been you with a bullet in ya!”

  By the time I hung up the phone, I had a new outlook on things. I always wondered if I could have helped him turn his life around. If I had been selfish for not even trying to set him on the right path before cutting him loose.

  The memories of him were already starting to cloud over and fade from my memory bank, so I quickly headed straight for the garage and started rummaging thru a tattered box filled with my old high school memorabilia to retrieve my 11th grade yearbook. Flipping to the back inside cover, I watched as Tannon’s beautiful handwriting disappeared right before my very own eyes forever.

  “Goodbye Tannon, I wish you well. I am so sorry that I let you down... that I wasn’t there for you as I should have been. For not being strong enough and giving into peer pressure as easily as I did. Please forgive me for not even giving you a real or fair chance.” I said aloud, running my fingers over the newly formed blank page, void of his loving words.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  AFTER TANNON WAS MURDERED, IT took me a long time to understand and to come to terms with that fact. I always wondered if I could have stopped or prevented that tragedy somehow. I guess I had been carrying around more guilt than I even realized, but once again, that burden was lifted away from me as my memories of him began to fade. I had no idea what had become of him or if he was even alive for that matter, but I seemed to be at peace with that and knew that in a matter of time, he would be nothing more than a mere stranger to me.

  Still having no clue on why this was happening to me of all people, my mind was crammed with endless questions. What triggered the time traveling? How many times could I rewind to the past before I did something major to screw up my present?

  However, I couldn’t complain too much because broken parts of me were being repaired little by little, bit by bit and I wasn’t one to look a gift-horse in the mouth. One day, if I am really lucky, maybe the universe will reveal its master plan to me.

  “You all set to come out?” My brother Joel asked me.

  “Yup, I’ll be there in the morning.”

  “You sure you don’t need me to pick you up from the airport?”

  “No, Jay’s coming to get me and then he’ll bring me over to the cemetery. I’ll just meet you guys there, alright.”

  I was flying home for the first anniversary of my fathers passing in early December. It was hard to believe that we’d gone a whole year without him already. This was going to be a hard trip for me, so I had called in the big guns and made Jay promise to accompany me. My husband wanted to come, but I told him he should stay here... that this was something that I had to do on my own.

  Of course, he bought my lame-ass excuse, he never questioned my motives. He just did as he was told which worked for me, because I really needed some time away from him to recharge my batteries.

  Walking outside to the baggage terminal, I noticed right away that it was so much warmer here than New Mexico was at this time of the year, but I kept my jacket on anyways. My bones felt cold. A little preoccupied texting Jay to let him know that I had arrived safely, I found myself suddenly suspended in mid-air, engulfed in a giant bear hug.

  Was he not worried about this turning up on the internet for all of America to see?

  Hell no!

  He didn’t care who saw us together. In fact, he even introduces me as “the one that got away”. He finally sat me down gently to step back and look at me better.

  “Is everything where it should be?” I asked him after a minute or two of his uncomfortable staring.

  “I don’t know. You’re a little overdressed, aren’t you?”

  “Stop playing!” I said swatting him on his bicep.

  “Hey, don’t blame me. It’s not my fault you have a dirty mind. Let me get this for you,” he said picking up my carry-on bag. “Is this all you brought with you?”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure how long I’m going to be here so I didn’t want to over pack.”

  “Well, if I get my wish, you’d never leave,” he said flashing all his perfect teeth and dimples at me.

  I had to give it to him though. He really knew how to make me smile, even on a day like today. He was trying to distract me from the sadness that was beginning to weigh on me and I really loved him for that. He went out of his way to care for me even though he had no reason to.

  Jay sensed my pain all of a sudden. My face must have dropped because he instantly became very serious. “Look at me, love,” he said softly and waited for me to meet his eyes before he continued, “I’ll get you thru today and the next day and the day after that. Lean on me, I’ll be your strength today and always,” he declared, pulling me back into the warmth of his arms.

  After kissing me on top of my head and assuring me several times that everything would be alright, he lead me away from the terminal and over to his truck.

  Jay has to practically lift me up in order for me to get inside of this beast because he had it raised so high. A spark of jealousy ignited in me as he threw my bag in the back and then hopped into the driver’s seat with such ease.

  There was no need to instruct him on where to go since he had been there before. He had even sat at my father’s grave with me a few days after the funeral just for moral support. We drove most of the way in silence, but as we grew closer to the memorial park, he reached over instinctively to take my clammy hand in his, lending me his strength.

  Joel and my nephew JoJo were already there on the sunny hillside waiting for us when we pulled up. Jay came around to help me down so I didn’t have to jump and we walked over to join them. The four of us stood by my father’s grave swapping different stories about my dad for about an hour before my brother and nephew had to leave. I agreed to meet up with them for dinner at my dad’s favorite little café located in the back of Lakeview Terrace later that evening, while Jay went to wait in the truck to give me a little privacy.

  I sat back on my heels, started spilling my secrets to my dad about my out-of-body experiences and asked him to feel free to provide me with any inside information that he might have since he was with God now.

  I had worn a calm mask all day until I found myself alone with him. Underneath that facade was so much pain and hurt that it finally cracked into a billion tiny pieces, leaving me a hot mess.

  Not once, in all my years have I ever imagined having to hold a conversation with my father like this… separated by six feet of earth. The pain was so unbearable that I couldn’t remain still as I cleaned off his picture on his tombstone with the silk scarf from around my neck while I spoke to him with a face full of tears. Sending him my love, asking him to watch over us all, I stood up slowly, walked back down the hill, and tried unsuccessfully
to climb into Jay’s monster truck.

  “Where are we going?” I finally asked him, annoyed. It seemed like we were in his truck for an awful long time and it was working my last good nerve. I wasn’t used to sitting in a bumper-jam anymore and if the city of L.A. was notorious for one thing… it was certainly, gridlock traffic.

  “It’s a surprise. You used to like surprises,” he said paying my attitude no mind.

  I huffed before settling back into my seat to stare out of the window and waited… impatiently to reach our surprise destination.

  “But this is just your house!” I said disappointedly when we finally pull into his garage, thirty something minutes later. “What are you up to exactly? Are you sure there’s even a surprise in there somewhere?” I asked rolling my neck.

  “More than you know. I thought you might need a pick me up after visiting your dad. So, can you be patient for two more minutes please? Trust me, you’re going to love this,” he boasted, obviously proud of himself as he exited the truck to come around and assist me down again.

  Scooping my bag up with one hand and reaching down to grab my hand with his other, Jay dragged me into the house with him. After setting my things down in the spacious living room area, Jay proceeded to relieve me of my purse, placing it on the glass coffee table next to us. Reaching forward, he slipped my jacket and scarf off as well, leaving me in a light pink fitted t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black leather high heel boots. Stepping back to look at me again, he smiled. “There now. That’s so much better. You’ve been driving me nuts, covering up and hiding all these delicious curves from me.”

  All I could do was laugh at him before saying, “Nothing else is coming off me, so I suggest you wipe that smirk off your face!”