by Ford, Lizzy
Kiera laughed, unable to help it at the too-accurate description.
“I don’t want to be frenemies. If we can’t be friends, how about allies?”
“I’ll think about it,” Kiera said uncertainly. “I don’t want to be enemies. I just don’t know what we are now.”
“I can respect that.” Evey sounded a little sad. “I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating these male-dominated societies. Sometimes it helps to have powerful female allies who can influence their husbands.” She grinned.
“Is that why you’re being so nice to me? You want something from Anshan?”
“What? No.” Evey appeared genuinely surprised. “Do you really think that?”
Kiera’s cheeks grew warm. She shrugged.
“Wow. I didn’t realize you were that mad at me.”
“I’m not anymore,” Kiera replied.
“I’m sorry. I’m not sure what to say. I can’t undo anything.”
Kiera focused on the stream running near her feet rather than Evey’s concerned features. It was hard to explain to Evey no one event had caused Kiera to think this way but a combination of things that shed light on how little Evey thought of someone outside of herself.
“Can I do something for you to prove I mean well?” Evey asked. “You can move here while you wait for Anshan to be ready or something.”
“No, no, thanks,” Kiera said and then made a weak joke to break up the tension. “Not unless you can get me to the Anshan surface so I can figure out what’s wrong with the planet.”
“I can try.”
Kiera laughed uncomfortably. “No, I’m just … joking. Sorta. Frustrated I guess. A’Ran has a lot on his plate and I’m not sure how to help him.”
“I get that. Romas is the same,” Evey said. “We’ve emptied his treasuries to rebuild.” She gasped. “Which I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”
Kiera glanced at her, surprised. “You all act like you’ve got tons of money.”
“It’s part of the culture here. The royals have to always look and act royal, even if we’re broke. But you have to promise not to tell anyone, even A’Ran!”
“I don’t think he’ll care. We’re broke, too.”
“But everyone knows that already. Qatwal being broke would mess up our new trade agreements.”
Kiera rolled her eyes. “I won’t tell. Besides, I imagine you’ll soon have a few spaceships filled with that gray stuff to sell.”
“Hopefully our significant others can come to an agreement that doesn’t involve blowing up another planet.”
There’s no guarantee, Kiera thought.
“You sure there’s nothing bothering you?”
“I just want to help rebuild Anshan but don’t know how,” Kiera replied truthfully. “That’s it.” Except for the part about dying. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone that secret, especially not Evey.
“Nishani.” A’ran’s low, husky voice made her temperature rise a few degrees. She twisted to see him in the entrance, his wide shoulders taking up most of the empty space of the doorway.
She rose a little faster than she meant to, excited to see him after the awkward exchange with Evey.
“Thank you for dinner and bringing me here,” she said to her hostess.
“Of course.” Evey stood. “Not a problem. Think about what I said, okay?”
Kiera nodded and stepped away briskly, anxious for some alone time with A’Ran after the stress of space travel and dealing with Evey. A’ran retreated into the hallway to await her, and she joined him, flanked by the three warriors. She searched is face. He was tense but didn’t seem entirely displeased, which gave her some hope his meeting went well. He was an extremely private person, though, so she didn’t ask him about the details in front of his men.
One of the Qatwali servants led them through the single story structure to the hallway for high-ranking guests and left them in a spacious apartment three times the size of the master bedroom they shared.
“Finally!” Kiera closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around her lifemate, breathing in his scent. His muscular frame relaxed beneath her embrace, and he hugged her in return. A stir of dread, if not outright pain, went through her, and she debated how long she had until she either died or broke down and told A’Ran and was then exiled. “How did it go?”
She rested her chin at the center of his chest, studying his heavy features.
“Well,” he said with his normal punctuality.
“So we’ll get the air cleaners?”
“They’ve requested a deposit of ore first. They have only two purifiers ready, and we need ten. I was assured we would have the remainder before the next star cycle.”
“Hmmm. That’s quite a ways away,” she said, disappointed. A star cycle was equivalent to about a year. “What can we do in the meantime to rush things along?”
“Not much. The two cleaners can be placed over the mines where the men will start working. It’ll alleviate some of the danger to their health.”
She reached up to touch the planes of his face. To mine Anshan metal, the workers would be in danger with a prediction of half of them dying before the end of the cycle. She understood the importance of the ore he needed to trade to feed and protect his people but felt sad whenever she considered how many people might die in the process.
“You’re doing awesome,” she told him, gazing at him in tenderness. “These are tough decisions.”
“I’m doing what a dhjan does,” he replied in a chiding tone. “It is my duty to make such decisions.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I don’t know that I could make them.”
“We are different.”
“Very.”
“How did your talk with your sister go?”
Kiera sighed and ducked her gaze, resting her ear against his warm chest. The Anshan and Qatwali didn’t understand what a best friend was and had originally translated her relationship to Evelyn as sister. There was a time when Kiera loved the designation, because Evey had been like a sister for years. “Not bad,” she said, unable to express the complicated emotions she felt towards Evey. “I don’t like visiting here.”
“We do so only out of necessity.”
She didn’t reply, unable to fully enjoy his company the way she usually did, not when the secrets she kept seemed to stay between them.
“What troubles you, Kiera?” he asked gently.
She loved the sound of her name on his lips, the affection in his tone.
I’m going to miss this. She didn’t know how to answer. Lying had never been her forte and she loved A’Ran too much to want to try. So she gave him the same, rehearsed version of the truth she told Evey. “I feel like I need to be on Anshan to fix it. I’m not helping you enough.”
“You cannot go, nishani. No one can.”
“I know. But there must be some way, right? Is there anything in Anshan history like this?”
“Not to my knowledge.” He gazed at her too long.
Her stomach was filled with butterflies, her lower belly burning for him as it did every time they touched, but her mind was as far away as could be. On her fate. On his disappointment. On the people of Anshan who would never return to their home again.
“It distresses you so much?” he asked and lifted her chin.
“Of course it does. I want it to be my home, too. Our home,” she replied. “It feels like we’re moving farther and farther away from every seeing that become reality.”
“I understand this fear,” he said, gaze warm. “I lived with it for many cycles, until I found you. You know you can help the planet. You must only wait until it’s safe to be there.”
“What if the planet dies in the meantime?”
A flicker of awareness went through his gaze, one she knew to be dangerous to her secret, if she didn’t find a way to explain her question away.
“I mean, I had a dream it died. If I’m tied to it, and its life force is tied to mine, then what if it’s try
ing to warn me?” she asked, hoping he didn’t challenge her notion of dreams. She was only partially telling the truth. She’d dreamt of Anshan but not of it dying. “I had dreams of Anshan before.”
He was quiet long enough for her risk a peek at his face.
His was pensive – but not surprised.
“What’s wrong?” she asked instantly.
“It surprises me how strong the bond between you and Anshan is,” he replied. “There is a problem. The Anshan mines are over producing ore at a rate we won’t be able to keep up with, even when we get the miners to the surface. It’s why we’re going to mine before the atmosphere is clear of toxins.”
She listened, intrigued by the insight into his daily life as a ruler. He didn’t tell her everything; this much she knew. She didn’t expect him to. But to realize there was something wrong with the planet, that it wasn’t just her burden anymore, filled her with as much worry as it did relief.
A’Ran was more than worried, though. He was disturbed. His dark eyes were distant, and she could almost see his mind working through the challenges of saving his planet. He moved away from her and poured them bowls of water.
“Mansr and I are concerned the planet is going to poison itself,” he continued. “The miners will be focused first on the ore too close to water sources. Initially, we considered the idea Anshan was trying to make up for fifteen cycles of not producing ore.”
“But now you think something is really wrong,” she guessed, accepting one of the bowls.
He nodded.
“What?”
“We can’t remain on the planet long enough to know for certain,” he replied. “The readings we take are off the charts in every way. Too much toxin in the air, too much ore being produced. The soil is too acidic to sustain plants.” His frown deepened.
He was too confident to look at his past and regret any choice he made, but she suspected he was wondering what would’ve happened had he not blown up the surface of the planet to rid it of the invaders trying to take it from him.
They were quiet, each dwelling on the puzzle of Anshan, before she asked the question she’d been dying to ask for several days. “Are you certain I can’t handle the toxins and poisons and whatever else is wrong? Are you sure the planet won’t let me be there?”
“The risk is too great. You are different from the Anshan people, but you are similar enough for an environment lethal to us to be toxic to you.”
“But I’m connected to the planet.”
“Connected does not mean immune to its poisons.”
She considered the response. “Can we try?”
“No, nishani,” he said firmly.
“What if there’s no other way to save the planet?”
“Then we will stay on the moon.”
“And the rest of the people?”
“We will extract what ore we can and trade it for their safe relocation.”
She shook her head, frustrated. “There must be another way, A’Ran.”
“If you think of one, tell me immediately and I will act.”
She was unable to stop her smile. He had come a long way since they met, from viewing women as incapable of rational decision to appointing her as the supreme battle strategist of his forces to now, asking her to help him discover opportunities to save their planet. “You’re a good man, A’Ran,” she murmured. “The best in the universe.”
“And you are my beautiful, irreverent nishani.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Speaking of which, it’s time for some hugs and cuddles and other stuff the dhjan of Anshan doesn’t do,” she said, mocking the stern tone he often used with her when she broke their customs to touch him or argue with him in public.
A’Ran’s worry melted away into a smile, and he opened his arms to her. “I want more than hugs, woman.”
Kiera crossed to him with a laugh. “I know. My sweet, passionate dhjan.”
He kissed her, and she melted into him, loving his heat and strength.
Tomorrow I’ll to tell him. She’d told herself this every night since the first visit to the medic. She hated bearing the secret alone but hated the idea of hurting him even more. With the heat of desire in her blood, she wasn’t about to spoil what could’ve been one of their last nights together with the truth.
After he exhausted her with lovemaking, she fell into a deep sleep. The most vibrant of the dreams about Anshan reappeared, the one she’d had several times before. A faceless person with six arms stood in the middle of a green expanse surrounded by a storm. The green grass was receding, being eaten by the storm, and the faceless person reached out to her.
It didn’t speak. It didn’t move. It simply watched her, if a creature with no face could do such a thing. In her dream, Kiera tried to approach the strange figure without ever being able to reach it. It stayed the same distance from her no matter how fast she walked or ran. In the end, she ended up bent over and panting, frustrated, and stuck.
The vibrant dream faded into fleeting, less tangible images as she drifted deeper into sleep.
Chapter Two
The next morning, Kiera was pacing. A’Ran had sensed his lifemate was upset by something for several days. What he didn’t know: if it was more than the planet’s situation causing Kiera’s eyes to become so shadowed with worry.
“Can we talk about Gage?” she asked.
A’Ran looked up from pulling on his boots, hearing Kiera’s concern. They’d discussed his sister twice and each time, neither ended up happy.
“What is there to discuss?” he asked.
“The fact you’re exiling a member of your family.”
He leaned back and studied her. “I do not expect you to understand my decision but I would ask you to respect it.”
“I can’t respect a decision that sends a pregnant woman away from her family because of a bad choice she made. She had no idea she was seeing a traitor!”
A’Ran hadn’t slept well after making love to Kiera, too leery of being caught unaware in the home of his enemy. He rose and debated what to say. Kiera was brilliant, which was the reason she was the supreme battle commander. But she was also soft hearted sometimes, a trait he found an endearing trait for his nishani since he had no room for mercy in his position. However, on some topics, her gentleness and his devotion to duty caused them to disagree.
“The child of an Anshan woman belongs to the father’s family,” he said slowly. “I know this is not how it is on your world, but here, it is so. If she stays, I risk Ne’Rin’s family declaring war on me. If she stays, there’s a possibility they can use her the same way Ne’Rin did.”
“I know the logic behind your decision. But she’s your sister. If anyone can change customs here, it’s you.”
“I told you I’d consider it. But I cannot right now. My planet – our planet – and its people need me to help them first. I cannot put my personal feelings or my family above my duty. I must take the action I deem necessary first and when the time comes, I will review the decision.”
At his firm explanation, Kiera appeared more devastated than he thought the situation warranted. His instinct warned him once more he was missing something.
“I know how much your duty means. I understand why,” she said at last. “But sometimes I think you should let your heart decide.”
“I do not have that luxury.”
“You blew up Anshan.” A small smile tugged up the corners of her bow-shaped lips. “Tell me that was logic.”
“It was not my finest decision,” he admitted. “But I would rather destroy my home than see my enemies take it from me.”
“And you’d rather destroy Gage emotionally than take the time to evaluate her situation.”
“You seem to think I feel nothing about the decision,” he replied. “She is my sister. She is my blood. I love her and I would do anything to protect her. I’m sending her away as much for her own good as anyone’s.”
Kiera shook her head, frustrated, and crossed her ar
ms. His lifemate was beautiful, even when she grew angry with him.
Her explanation about wanting to help the planet and concern about Gage made sense, but there was still more he sensed to her moods of late. He hadn’t yet had the time to focus on unraveling why.
As it was, he risked being late to the critical meeting with Romas to hammer out the final details of their deal or he’d talk to her longer.
“I do not like to see you unhappy, nishani,” he said and stood. He crossed to her and cupped her soft cheek with one hand. “I promise I will review the situation when I am confident we can save our planet.”
“What if that never happens?” she asked, a haunted expression on her features.
He gazed into her blue-green eyes, admiring the unusual hue as he did every time he looked at her. He loved her warmth and softness and how little she tried to rein in her emotions. She was so unlike the women of Anshan. Rather than be repelled by how different she was, every new idea and feeling he encountered in his lifemate increased his affection. Her uniqueness saved his home planet on the battlefield, and he knew he was just scratching the surface of how special she truly was.
Even if, at times, that uniqueness caused some friction between his duty and his love for her.
“It will,” he assured her. “The universe did not bring you to me only for us to fail to save Anshan.”
Her features softened into a smile. She took his hand in both of his. “I want to believe that, too.”
“Then believe it. We will heal our planet together.”
“I want that so much.” She hugged him.
“So do I.” He embraced her briefly. “We can talk more later.”
Kiera released him, and he left the room guarded by no less than five warriors. Two trailed him, and he paused when he reached the first curve of the corridor.
The instincts he trusted in battle and negotiations were agitated, and he didn’t think it had anything to do with the meeting he was about to attend. Whatever was bothering Kiera, he hadn’t been able to figure it out, and it surprised him to consider she was keeping a secret from him. He didn’t want to think such a thing of his lifemate, but he wasn’t able to shake the feeling, either. He had done his best not to let his duty interfere with the time he wanted to spend with her. He returned home most nights and involved her when it came to issues she needed to know about as the battle commander.
