Triple Infinity

by K. J. Jackson

  That caught Shiv’s interest. Her brow furrowed. “Work stuff out? Hmmm, I have to ask. Is she happy with Aiden?”

  This one had an easy answer. Triaten relaxed. “The one thing I do know for certain about Skye, is that she is deeply in love with Aiden. And he is with her. The rest of it...they’ll work out the rest of it.”

  “What do you mean, ‘the rest of it’?”

  “The rest is between Skye and Aiden. You’ll have to ask her.”

  Shiv’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. “That she left with you, Triaten...if she went somewhere with you — is Skye in danger?”

  “No.”

  Her hand went to her hip as she barraged him. “No is not good enough. You need to give me more than that.”

  “She will be fine as long as Aiden is by her side.”

  “Well, that seems pretty stupid. Does he follow her everywhere she goes?”

  “I’ve seen her go to the bathroom alone.”

  Shiv rolled her eyes at him.

  “Okay, for now, yes he pretty much goes everywhere she does.”

  Shiv sighed as she used the clean spots on the back of her wrists to rub the bleariness from her eyes. “Well, as long as she’s safe, I guess. To each their own.”

  “You should head up to bed.” Triaten pointed to the stairs. “The tile isn’t going anywhere.”

  She stepped in front of him, cement-speckled hand on his chest. Her green eyes had flipped from bleary to alive with hunger. “Care to join me?”

  Triaten took a step back. Then another. He had to space himself from her warm body. “Shiv...it’s late. You’re tired. I’m tired.”

  “Tired?” Her head cocked in attempt to figure him out. She took a step toward him. “I’ve not known you to ever be tired.”

  Triaten took another step back. “It’s just been an exhausting day.”

  Shiv shook her head as she took another step toward him, hands now on her hips. “No, you need to tell me why you’re stepping away from me. Because tired is not an excuse I’ll believe from you. What’s going on?”

  Triaten rubbed his jawline, stalling. He hadn’t been ready with any excuses, and now he was paying for it. He looked at Shiv. She wasn’t even impatient. Just calmly staring at him. Calmly waiting for the shoe to drop. She had said she had gotten used to dropping shoes as a child, with all the moves from foster home to foster home. This must be how she took it. Calm to hide hope. How to make this easy for her?

  “It’s not about you, Shiv. With your sister back...it gets complicated.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I promised her I would leave you alone.”

  “Leave me alone? Skye doesn’t get to make that decision, Triaten.”

  “No, but she asked, and I made that decision to keep her happy. She is a dear friend, and I intend to keep it that way.”

  Shiv reached down to her waist and proceeded to pull her red tank up and over her head. Her breasts were pushed high by a black lace bra. She strode forward, closing the gap between them. Shiv grabbed Triaten’s hand and put it on her chest, holding it to her smooth skin. “If she’s a dear friend, than what am I?”

  Both of her hands were over his, and she moved his hand around to cup her left breast. Her eyes flickered up at him with the intensity of the offering.

  Triaten cringed with what he was about to say. “Shiv. I can’t. I made a promise.”

  It stopped her, and she blinked, humiliating reality sinking in. “And you’ve promised me nothing.” She backed up a step, dropping his hand. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

  She turned her back to him and went back over to the mosaic, staring at the floor.

  Triaten started to say something, anything to make it easier for Shiv. But then he closed his mouth. He doubted he could say anything to make it right with her. Leaving would be the best thing. So he walked out of the room.

  Just outside the library door, Triaten couldn’t help but stop and look back at Shiv, half naked. She shuffled over from the mosaic to Rafe in the corner. She bent down to scratch his head behind his ears. Soaking in the sudden attention, he rolled onto his back, his thick body thumping on the floor, and his big eyes stared at her, insinuating a belly rub would be nice.

  The smile she gave Rafe was sad. “Why is it that you seem to be the only one that can stand to be around me for any length of time, Rafe? Is it the belly rubs?”

  There was no self-pity in her voice, only an ache. An ache that wrapped itself around Triaten’s chest and slowed his heart. Feet moving on their own, Triaten strode across the library floor instantly, pulling Shiv up from her crouch in front of Rafe.

  He pulled her into a kiss, his hand on her back, pressing her into him, demanding her body meet the wall of his chest. When he leaned back, his voice was a growl. “Make no mistake, Shiv. I can stand it. And I was stupid to think I could avoid it.”

  Her eyes were questioning as she looked at him. “And damn, Skye?”

  “Damn stupid promises I never should have made.”

  Her face broke into the drug smile as her arms went up around his neck, and her legs did the same around his waist. Triaten carried her upstairs.

  ~~~

  Skye’s slap across his face stung. But not nearly as bad as the scathing disappointment dripping from her voice, “How could you, Triaten?”

  It had only taken Skye a second of being in the kitchen with Triaten and Shiv, to figure out what was going on between the two of them. Aiden and Skye had walked into the ranch, and had found Triaten and Shiv easily enough. Triaten hadn’t expected them to be back so soon from the island.

  Once Skye had seen the two of them together, laughing at the kitchen table, Shiv’s hand on his thigh, she had practically grabbed Triaten’s ear and dragged him to the study. She had slammed the door closed so hard, it bounced back from the frame — she had to slide it twice more before she eased it gentle enough for the latch to close.

  And now she stared at him, a perceptible shake of anger reverberated in her arms as she crossed them over her ribcage, trying to stymie her fury. “How could you?”

  Each word snapped.

  “It was wrong of me to promise you anything, Skye.” Triaten’s hands were up in defense right away. “I thought I could keep the promise, but I was wrong. I shouldn’t have made the promise, and I’m sorry.”

  “It was twelve hours, Triaten. Twelve.” She paced, arms flinging. “You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants for half a day? A cup of coffee didn’t occur to you? A walk? A movie? Anything but banging my sister?”

  Triaten had never seen Skye this angry, or crass. “Skye, really, you’re over-blowing what you saw. What you thought you saw.”

  Her hand flew up to stop him. “Don’t even start. I know what I saw in there. You are playing with my sister, Triaten. This will never go anywhere, and you know it.”

  She spun away from him, arm lashing through the air. “God, why would you be so stupid? Every moment you spend with her gets you — gets her — in deeper and deeper. That much is obvious.”

  She turned back to him, finger pointing. “And where’s it going to end? Are you going to tell her you’re a Panthenite? Are you really going to put her in that sort of danger? Are you going to get her pregnant, only to have an elder come on by and kill her baby — or her? You know your father is not going to let this fly. What the hell are you thinking, Triaten? You know this is going nowhere, but there you are — sitting there with her, a charming asshole.”

  A knock on the door interrupted Skye’s tirade. Without waiting for an answer to the knock, Aiden slid open the door and stuck his head in. “Skye, Shiv wants to talk to you.”

  Skye glared at Aiden. She wasn’t done with Triaten. She had only just begun.

  Aiden took the glare for what it meant. “I know. And I imagine she mostly wants to get Triaten off the hook. You’re not exactly being discrete in here.”

  “Shit, did she hear anything?”

  “No, it was muffled. But loud. Go talk to her. This is your chance, even if it
is to save Triaten’s hide from you.”

  Skye shot Triaten a look meant to fry. “I’m not done with you.”

  “I know.” Triaten sighed.

  Skye stepped past Aiden and walked back to the kitchen. Shiv stood at the back door, pulling on a dark wool pea coat.

  “Take a walk with me?” She pointed at the door.

  Skye paused, still livid. Her fingers played with the zipper on her coat. She hadn’t even taken it off, she had been so quick to drag Triaten out of the kitchen. She watched Shiv pull her long dark hair out from under the back of her coat. It was the same distinct motion Shiv had used her whole life, and Skye couldn’t help but see her as the awkward fourteen-year-old girl from years ago. Skye resisted the urge to grab Shiv’s arm, drag her to the jeep, and drive her as far away from this mountain as possible.

  That Triaten would play this game with her. Skye’s body began to shake again. She had to squash her anger before she let it slip with Shiv.

  Shiv opened the back door and looked over her shoulder. “Coming?”

  Skye zipped her coat and followed her.

  Outside, Rafe caught sight of the sisters and bounded up from barn, tongue hanging loose as he tore across the browning grass. He barreled into Skye, sending her flying onto her backside. He stood over her, tongue mopping every exposed inch of skin. It had been months since he had seen his mistress. A happier dog didn’t exist. And Skye’s anger vanished.

  “Triaten said he was your dog. But jeez, I had no idea. He really loves you.”

  Laughing, Skye looked past the furry ear she was scratching, up at Shiv. Jealousy painfully lined Shiv’s pinched smile.

  Skye got to her feet, her hand still deep in the fur on Rafe’s head. “Rafe is the best. He kept you good company, didn’t he?”

  Shiv nodded.

  Skye pointed to an opening in the woods behind the barn. “Shall we walk?”

  Into the woods, Rafe out in front, they crunched on fallen leaves for five minutes before Skye broke the silence.

  “Do you remember the stories I used to tell you about our parents and how they named us?”

  “Vaguely. Remind me.” Shiv produced, her voice wooden.

  “Well, they used to tell me that one day I dropped from the sky, and that’s how they named me. But yours I never understood when they told it. They used to talk about how when you were a baby you had really sharp fingernails, little blades, they used to call them. So they named you Shiv. I never really got it until I went to juvie and learned that a shiv was a make-shift blade.”

  “Really? I do not remember that one at all. They truly named me after a cobbled together knife?”

  “I guess, yes. I have found no other definition.”

  “You mean they didn’t just like the name Shivanoe and shorten it? That’s what I always assumed.”

  Skye laughed at her incredulous look. “Swear to god. That’s the story they used to tell us.”

  A smile cracked Shiv’s face. “How bizarre.”

  “I know. And when I found out what a shiv actually was, I wanted to get a hold of you right away.” Skye scanned the treetops. “But they wouldn’t let me. So I have been sitting on that fascinating tidbit of information for years.”

  They walked in silence for another ten minutes before pulling up as the trail opened to the bank of the river. Skye walked to the edge of the water, staring at the flow. Rafe stayed by her side, lapping up a drink.

  “I’ve never seen you that close to moving water before.” Shiv said to Skye’s back. She had stopped at the edge of the woods, arms crossed.

  Skye turned around to her. “The fear isn’t completely gone — I’m not going to dive in or anything. But I do have a certain level of peace with water now.”

  “How did you do it? Reach the peace, I mean?”

  “I’m different now.”

  “Different how?”

  Skye sighed. She couldn’t actually tell Shiv she was a Panthenite, and that she couldn’t really die from drowning anymore. That much was proven when Evan had her in the cave. Phobias ease up considerably once the core of the fear goes away. But Skye couldn’t tell Shiv that. “You know when I was knocked out and I had amnesia? It was like a reset button for me. For my whole life. I woke up and I had no history, no clue who I was or how I acted. So I got to be a completely new person. A better person, I hope.”

  “And what happened when your memory came back?”

  “I was horrified at the person I was. How I hurt you. How I failed you. But I was already on a new path, so I didn’t have to wallow in the past.”

  “And you fell in love? I suppose that helped.”

  “Yes.”

  Skye could see Shiv hedge on her next question. Then it came out in a blurt.

  “So when you got your memory back, why didn’t you find me?”

  “Honestly, Shiv, I wanted nothing more.” Skye stepped toward her. “But it was clear from your reaction to Triaten and Charlotte, that you wanted nothing to do with me. If I had thought there was the slightest chance you would have opened your door...would have said hello. I would have taken anything — the smallest bone from you. But I didn’t want to cause you more pain. So I didn’t come.”

  “Were you ever going to come?”

  “Probably, but I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I always just believed that in the future, you’d see me again. Be my sister again. Forgive me. At least I hoped.”

  Shiv turned sideways, looking upriver instead of at Skye.

  Skye stepped in front of her vision. “Shiv, the other day at the house. You said I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. What happened? Why did you need me?”

  Shiv shrugged, avoiding Skye’s eyes. “I don’t have time to dwell, nor do I want to, but I’ve been in a bad place. Basically, my life disintegrated on me, and you’re all I could think of that I had left.”

  “What happened?”

  Shiv shook her head in sad hope. “I wish I had your reset button. But I don’t. The short answer is that I was having an affair with a married man. I got pregnant. He beat me almost to death. I lost the baby. And then...”

  Skye’s stomach clenched in horror. Horror that ballooned into rage. “What? Who the hell is this guy? I am going to find him and –”

  Shiv’s hand flew up. “Skye, stop. I don’t think about him anymore. I don’t have time for that. And you shouldn’t waste any emotion on him either.”

  Skye’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you don’t have time for that?”

  Hesitating, Shiv looked up at the blue sky, tears welling. She took a deep breath and looked at Skye. “I’m going to tell you this quickly, and only once, because I haven’t told anyone, but I have to at least tell you. When I was in the hospital, they found it.”

  Skye’s heart stopped. “Found what?” The question crawled out.

  “The cancer.” The words were a whisper.

  “Cancer?”

  Shiv closed her eyes, letting the words come out. “I didn’t even know I had anything. And it had spread quickly. I have about seven months.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “But you’re fine,” Skye reasoned. “You’re healthy. You look healthy.”

  “I know. I’m not in any pain right now. They say that’s to come.”

  “No.”

  “Yes. Skye, please don’t make this harder. I’ve only just recently convinced myself this was true. I don’t want to have to convince you, too.”

  “No, we fight it Shiv. We can do something. Money is not an issue.”

  “Skye, we can’t. It’s too widespread and inoperable. I’ve had four second opinions.”

  Skye stepped forward and fiercely grabbed Shiv’s shoulders. “No, Shiv. We fight. You can’t give up.”

  Shiv just shook her head. “Skye, please. This is really hard. There is nothing to fight. It’s already won, and I’m just trying to come to terms with what will be the end. I’m just trying to enjoy life before the pain comes.”<
br />
  “God, no.” Skye begged as her hands loosened their grasp, moving instead to wrap her arms around Shiv, gripping with every ounce. Tears were free-falling. “No. I can’t accept this. I will find something. Some way to heal this.”

  “Skye, there isn’t anything you can do.” Shiv said over Skye’s shoulder. “I really just need you to be there for me. Be there when things get really bad.”

  Skye swallowed a sob, not wanting her next words to come out, because they sounded like defeat. But Shiv needed to hear it. “You don’t need to ask. Anything you need. I will make it happen. I promise you that.”

  Shiv’s arms finally came up, enclosing Skye and squeezing her hard. Leaning on her.

  Moments ticked by. Clouds passed. Birds cawed. Water ran down the river. The world turned, even though it had just stopped for Skye.

  Shiv pulled back from the embrace to look at Skye, but she kept her hands around her. “So here is what I need from you right now. No one knows about it. Especially not Triaten. And I need you to back off of him.”

  “But –”

  “No buts. Triaten helps me forget what’s going on. How my body is failing me. I am alive when I’m with him. I’m not wallowing in self-pity, or terrified about what is to come. While I still feel healthy, I need to live like I am. And Triaten helps me do it.”

  “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want him to use you.”

  A sarcastic chuckle flew out of Shiv. “Well now, you don’t have to worry about that. There’s not enough time for me to get hurt. Really, I’m using him more than he is using me.”

  “And what if you fall in love?”

  “So what? It isn’t going to change anything. The outcome will be the same — whatever we have is going to end soon enough anyway.”

  Skye looked hard at her sister. She wasn’t going to accept this diagnosis, but Shiv didn’t want to hear that, so she wasn’t going to tell her. “Are you planning on telling Triaten?”

  “That’s the other thing I need from you. You have to promise me that you won’t tell him. Won’t tell anyone.”

  After a long pause, Skye relented. “I won’t.”

  “And you’ll leave Triaten alone?”