Triple Infinity

by K. J. Jackson

  The words settled into the air around them. So that was the crux of it. Trust.

  Triaten’s voice took on a decidedly softer tone. “Char, we’ve been over this a hundred times. Aiden out of the field meant there was a huge hole that had to be filled. I was all over the world — you knew what I was doing.”

  She shifted her focus back to the black window. She’d heard this too many times. “We’ve been over it a hundred times, because every time I talked to you back then — every time — I asked you to come home. And you never did.”

  The horror of those days after Thomas died washed over her. She didn’t want to go back there, and she had accidentally just opened the door. The shell that she was. The time and again Aiden had to save her from herself. Aiden had done what was needed. Showed up every day. Let her rail at him. Started a clinic in town for her, so she would have something to do, somewhere to go. A routine. But it had never been complete healing. She had become a peaceful, gaping wound. But a gaping wound, nonetheless.

  Charlotte drew a shaky breath. “I knew what you were doing, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t need you, Tri. Aiden was there — he was a lifeline — but I needed a buoy. I needed you, Triaten. I needed you.”

  They drove on in silence, the two lane road stretching out painfully long in front of them. Their headlights bounced off the pitted pavement.

  Minutes passed, and Triaten cleared his throat. “Char, did you ever stop to wonder why it was Aiden that came back to be with you after Thomas died? Why it was him that you got engaged to?”

  Charlotte didn’t turn from the blackness her eyes were fixated on. “No. Not really — I didn’t have my head about me. But I was a mess and Aiden could barely get me out of bed.”

  “You never questioned why it wasn’t me that you got engaged too? Why it was with Aiden?”

  “What are you talking about, Triaten?” She was curious, but still had no desire to look at him.

  Triaten slowed the jeep, coming to a stop in the middle of the road. They hadn’t seen any traffic for hours, so he didn’t bother to pull off to the side of the road. He threw the jeep in park. Charlotte could feel him turn to her, could feel his intensity aimed at her back.

  His hands slipped through the curled tips of her blond hair hanging over her shoulder. His fingers settled into the indent along her collar bone.

  “Charlotte, look at me.”

  Time ticked by until she took an engulfing breath and shifted her head to him.

  “I’m talking about when Aiden and I decided it was a good idea to set up a fake engagement to get the elders off your back. We knew all about the pressure they bombarded you with after Thomas died. We know they didn’t even wait a day to send the procreation request to your door. So when we concocted the engagement farce to get them to leave you alone, at first, it was supposed to be me you would get engage to.”

  Her brows collapsed together in confusion. “It was you?”

  His hand slipped from her shoulder as he paused. “Yes, but truth told, Char, I didn’t want it to be me. That’s why I convinced Aiden to do it, to come back for you. It didn’t take much convincing — it was you, after all, and he was looking for a way out — he had enough of the killings.”

  “Why didn’t you want it to be you?”

  “I always told myself it was because I was afraid I couldn’t protect you against the elder’s demands like Aiden could — they weren’t going to cross him. And we couldn’t take the chance they would force breeding on you.”

  Charlotte hid her wince at his words of breeding.

  Triaten shrugged. “And that part was true. But beyond that, something has become clear in retrospect. I wasn’t going to be your rebound. I didn’t want to be the consolation prize in your life. The twenty-year ongoing engagement, the perpetual state of peace you were living in. No demands on your life. No passion. It was what you needed. But I didn’t want it to be with me.”

  Triaten shook his head with clarity. “God, Char, even then, I wanted you. But not peaceful you. I wanted the Char that was full of life. Who could lead a contingent into battle with ease. The Char that didn’t blink. Didn’t back down. Wasn’t happy with the status quo. The Char that wanted — needed to make the world a better place. That’s the Char I wanted. Not the one that ignored the world. Ignored everything except what happened on that mountain. Which, for twenty years, was a whole lot of nothing. You lost that light in your eyes, Char.”

  Charlotte stared at the dash in front of her, not looking at Triaten. She had known she was a shell. But she had also thought she hid it well. Apparently not. At least not to Triaten.

  “And then Skye came along.” Her voice was small.

  “Yes, Skye came along. And it blew up everything. And it moved you off the toadstool you were sitting on. And we ended up where we were always meant to be — in each other’s arms. Or so I thought.” His words ended bitterly.

  She dropped the orange on her lap and grabbed his bare forearm. “Triaten. My head was not right. Aiden and I had just broken the engagement, the elders were hounding me again, Aiden was hell-bent on killing himself and dragging you along with him, and everything was so out-of-control...” Her nails dug into his skin. “I didn’t know — ”

  “Char, do you know it tore my heart out to realize you were using me?” He removed her grasp from his arm, setting her hand onto the seat. “That you didn’t care that it was me who was holding you. Pleasuring you.”

  Tears were immediate, and slid down Charlotte’s cheeks. The pain she had caused him was now her own. But she forced herself to look up at Triaten and meet his gaze. “I didn’t know, Triaten. I didn’t know that us being together would mean anything to you.”

  She ignored the fact that he had just removed her touch from his body, and her hand went to his knee, this time, gripping. “But I know now. And Tri, we could be everything. Together.”

  Triaten shook his head. “Except now, Shiv is in the picture.”

  A gut punch. Stunned, Charlotte nodded, resigned, and her hand slipped from his leg. She leaned heavily back into the car seat, defeat slumping her shoulders.

  She quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks as Triaten put the jeep into drive, and continued down the desolate road.

  { Chapter 17 }

  The lounge they were killing time in wasn’t just seventies-inspired, it was authentically-aged, and the melded smells collected over the decades — smoke, beer, and all manners of liquids spilled into the worn red carpet — were evidence of the grueling years.

  An old neon sign flickered on a far gold lamé wallpapered wall. “Butternut Lounge,” it touted in an elaborate cursive font. The “ernut” in the sign had gone black long ago. Someone continued to plug the sign in every day, showcasing either sad humor, or a stubbornness against letting go of the past. Jazz music piped out from large speakers lining the empty stage at the front of the lounge.

  That the hotel and connected lounge even remained open after all the years was testament to the lack of options in the small town Triaten and Charlotte had parked themselves. It was the most discrete choice in the sixty-mile area, and Triaten had covered his bases. A town and a city away, front desk clerks and doormen were paid-off and under strict instructions to alert Triaten if his father left the hotel he had checked into.

  This was where Horace did business away from the eyes of the other elders. Whether it was various private investments, or the human wife and half-breed son he once kept in the area, the elders didn’t know about this place. Horace always made sure he took at least two un-connected legs of flight en route to cover his tracks.

  But Triaten knew about the place. And he also knew this is exactly where Horace would go if he really was dealing with the Malefics responsible for the latest atrocity in Africa. The total dead now numbered more than seven thousand at the vulnerable refugee camps the Panthenites didn’t have capacity to defend. That the total could have been twenty times that, had Skye not been able to send time back, made Triaten’
s gut harden. If his father had anything to do with the attacks...Triaten didn’t even want to entertain the possibility and its repercussions. But here he was, nonetheless, waiting.

  Hours passed before Aiden and Skye stepped into Butternut Lounge, only to be greeted by an odd sight and an odd sound. Dead air.

  It was atypical that Triaten and Charlotte were in a room together, and there wasn’t a bubble of effortless energy that filled the room.

  The stale air surrounded the four people, plus a bartender, in front of Aiden and Skye. An elderly couple sat across from each other in a half-circle booth in the middle of the room, full meals in front of them. They chewed their food so thoroughly; it overrode any conversation between the wrinkled faces. To the left of them, Charlotte sat at the bar, her chin resting on her hand, fingers tapping her cheekbone as she fiddled with the drink in front of her. The bartender hunkered over a newspaper at the end of the bar.

  Across the room, to the right of the elderly couple eating, Triaten aimlessly walked around the lone pool table, cue in hand. Occasionally, he would bend over to knock a ball — but not into a pocket. Instead, he would send a ball bouncing around the table, bumper to bumper, staring at it until it rolled to a slow stop.

  Skye glanced at Aiden, eyes raised and forehead crinkled in question.

  He gave her a look back that said, I have no idea, as he shook his head. He watched Charlotte and Triaten at opposite ends of the room for another minute, and then leaned down to Skye’s ear. “Those two made us. I think it’s time for some payback. I take Triaten, you take Charlotte?”

  Skye nodded with a whisper back. “I’ll give it a go. That must have been some car ride up here between the two of them.”

  They split.

  Skye slid onto a bar stool next to Charlotte.

  “That is quite the shoulder slump you have going on there, my friend.”

  Charlotte’s head jerked up at Skye’s voice. But her red-rimmed eyes trailed slowly from her drink to Skye’s face. She looked over her shoulder to locate Aiden, and turned back to Skye. A half-hearted smile was all Charlotte could conjure. “You guys are here. Good.”

  Skye looked at the drink in front of Charlotte and back to her sad eyes. “How long have you two been here? I didn’t think we were that far behind.”

  “Few hours.”

  “And you two have been at opposite sides of this room the whole time?”

  Charlotte didn’t even glance over her shoulder at Triaten. “We ate. In silence. Like them.” She pointed with her thumb at the couple eating. She shrugged. “And we’ve been like this ever since.”

  “If it’s any consolation, he looks worse than you.”

  Her eyes went sharply to Skye. “It’s not.” Then she forced her face to soften with a deep breath. “How did it go with Shiv? Aiden said you were going up to the ranch before you followed.”

  It was Skye’s turn to shrug and avoid. The bartender was just walking back from delivering a beer to Aiden, so she motioned him over and ordered a gin and tonic. Drink delivered, Skye took a long sip, then answered, her gaze focused at the glazed mirror behind the bar. “It was a short conversation. It didn’t go well. She was already upset about Triaten.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve thrown everything into such a mess. I know how much you want to connect with your sister.”

  Skye shook her head. “She’s angry at me. And that’s no one’s fault except my own. I just have to keep trying. I got through to her once — but it was erased by the time shift — so I can do it again. It just makes it hard seeing her, knowing we were back to good, and I remember it and she doesn’t.”

  She took another sip of her drink. “But it gives me faith, and makes it easier to take all the anger she’s throwing at me.”

  “I envy you, your faith.” Charlotte studied Skye while twirling the straw leaning in her glass. “Mine has been all over the place as of late.”

  A smile broke Skye’s face. “Faith is easy when you come from nothing like I did — you three — you, Aiden, Triaten, gave me a home, a family, a real life. It was all I never knew I needed. So the faith part with Shiv — that comes easily. If I’ve learned anything these past months, it’s that life can change incredibly fast.”

  A wry chuckle escaped Charlotte. “Skye, you are either the best thing to ever happen to me, or the worst.”

  “Really?” Skye asked, perplexed. “Well, I like the ‘best thing’ part, but not the ‘worst’ — but what do I have to do with either?”

  “You plopped from nowhere into our lives.” Charlotte swung her hand in the air for effect. “Took Aiden and the easy peace that I was living in away. Believe me, I don’t begrudge you any of that. You and Aiden are a force all your own. But it ended those twenty years of solid, unremarkable peace.”

  With an exasperated sigh, Charlotte’s hands smoothed back her hair into a ponytail that she twisted into a knot. It almost immediately fell loose and hung down, twirled, in front of her shoulder. She ignored it as she looked at Skye. “It’s a tailspin we’ve all been in. And while it has turned out relatively well for you and Aiden, for me…well, you’ve seen how this has turned out. I just don’t know yet if all of this is bringing me to good or to bad. Whether or not I’m going to be included in the sort of happiness that has come to you and Aiden.”

  “Arrrgh,” Charlotte laid her head down, hiding her face on her crossed forearms on the bar, “I’m sorry I’m so depressing. I don’t want to bring you into this,” she said into her arms.

  Skye put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It is what it is. This isn’t easy for anybody, and –”

  Charlotte jolted upright, interrupting her friend when Skye’s fingers touched the scar on the back of Charlotte’s neck.

  “What is that?” Skye asked. “I’ve never noticed that — is it a tattoo?”

  Charlotte’s hand went to her neck, covering the skin. She avoided Skye’s eyes. “It’s a brand.”

  “What? Let me see.” Skye pulled Charlotte’s hand away, looking closely at the back of her neck. Following the top of her spine downward, about a finger-length long, the skin was raised, white, like a scar, but in a very specific pattern. A triple infinity pattern. It was easy to confuse it for a tattoo, as the lines had a certain beauty about them.

  Skye was thoroughly confused. “A brand — like a hot-iron branding?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like what they do to cows?”

  “Yes.”

  Dread spread across Skye’s face. “Do I even want to know?”

  Charlotte bit her lip in memory of deeds done long ago. She shrugged as she pushed the straw aside and took a sip of her drink, now water-downed. “They did it when I was a baby — they didn’t want to confuse me with the other abandoned babies — the weak ones.”

  “The elders?” Horror crossed Skye’s face.

  Charlotte nodded. “I am most useful to them as a breeder. They want my lineage to continue. So they made sure they could identify me.”

  “My god — branding a baby — they know no bounds.” Shaking her head in shame, anger laced Skye’s words. “Why weren’t Aiden and Triaten branded?”

  “Well,” Charlotte gave a wry chuckle, “Aiden was always huge — there was no mistaking him. And Triaten was Horace’s son, and wouldn’t allow it. Triaten was the one offspring he actually kept close track of — the chosen one, the one he considers his only true son — so he kept him with him.”

  Skye leaned back on the barstool, still processing the origin of Charlotte’s scar. “I swear, every time I start to think the elders maybe aren’t so bad, I get a wake-up call.”

  Charlotte pushed the twisted hair back behind her head, smoothing the strands over her neck. “Are they bad? I’ve honestly lived with their craziness so long, that I can’t identify it as crazy, I guess. Maybe that’s my trouble. I can’t identify my own crazy.”

  Skye was quick to shake her head. “You, my friend, are the farthest thing from crazy. You may be in a bad patch ri
ght now, but crazy, you are not.”

  “I’m glad that you think so. I’m not so sure Tri would agree with you.” For the first time, Charlotte looked over her shoulder and stared hard at Triaten. He was engaged in what looked like a serious conversation with Aiden.

  “I know I’m pushing him. I thought I could wait for him, but I can’t.” She looked back at Skye. “I gave up Aiden so easily because I saw how good you were for him. But Triaten…I don’t think I can.”

  Skye paused, words considered and slow. “Are you looking for encouragement, or are you asking for my permission, Charlotte? I love you dearly, but Shiv’s my sister — don’t make me choose one of you.”

  “It’s not a choice,” Charlotte was emphatic. “It’s what’s best for Triaten. Best for your sister. What sort of life can they have together? She’s human. He’s Panthenite. And he loves me. She is not a part of our world, and being with Triaten is only going to cause her pain.”

  Stunned at Charlotte’s sudden vehemence, Skye’s spine straightened as she turned fully on the bar stool and leveled her gaze on her friend. “Charlotte, what is going on with you? This doesn’t sound like you at all. I’ve never known you to manipulate. To decide for others what they need.”

  Shock flashed across Charlotte’s face, then flickered away to chagrin. She turned to her drink and fiddled with the napkin underneath, tearing the edges away. “You’re right. That was uncalled for. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to put you in the middle.”

  “Charlotte, it’s okay, but I’m just trying to understand. Yes, Shiv is involved with Triaten, and I wish that had never happened — but what is going on with you? Do you remember you once told me you would die for either Aiden or Triaten, you love them that much — but that they were your brothers, you would never have a real relationship with either? What’s changed?”