Light This Candle: The Life & Times of Alan Shepard--America's First Spaceman
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page 392, “He paid his dues”: Author interview with Chris Kraft.
page 392, “How the hell did he pull that one off?”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 392, “Al was probably bitter at times . . .”: Author interview with Wally Schirra.
page 393, [Slayton on Cooper]: Slayton and Cassut, DEKE!, p. 236.
page 393, “tiddlywinks players”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 178.
page 393, “time for him to move on”: Slayton and Cassut, DEKE!, p. 236.
page 393, “had little recourse: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 181.
page 393, “I’m considerably younger than Shepard”: “Cooper, Ex-Astronaut, Scores Shepard’s Selection as Skipper,” The New York Times (UPI) (February 5, 1971).
page 393, “He had to have what he wanted to have”: Author interview with Gordon Cooper.
page 393, “it took me years to forgive Al . . . I lost the moon”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 182.
page 394, “aloft in my own thoughts”: Pat Hammond, “Shepard Credits Teacher, (Big) Bertha Wiggins,” The New Hampshire Union Leader (June 24, 1994), p. 1.
page 394, “My chest was beaten and the ground shook”: Collins, Carrying the Fire, p. x.
page 395, Among the ideas on the table . . . : Kraft, Flight, p. 192.
page 396, “a madman with a mission”: Kraft, Flight, p. 192.
page 396, “If Jack Kennedy had been older and wiser . . .”: Ibid.
page 397, [Aldrin peeing in space suit]: Col. Edwin E. “Buzz” Aldrin, with Wayne Warga, Return to Earth (New York: Random House, 1973), p. 236.
page 398, diesel locomotives and dogs barking: Ibid., p. 241.
page 399, “big fucking deal” look: Gene Cernan letter to Alan and Louise Shepard.
page 399, “he let me realize what a tremendous man”: Author interview with Gene Cernan.
page 399, “storing a few nuts away for the winter”: Loudon Wainwright. “The Old Pro Gets His Shot at the Moon,” Life (July 31, 1970), p. 53.
page 399, “It’s something I believe in”: John Noble Wilford, “Apollo 14 Crew Is Fit and Ready,” The New York Times (January 9, 1971), p. 4.
page 400, [Training in Bavaria, Germany]: Author interview with Gene Cernan.
pages 401–402, [Mexican prostitutes]: Ibid.
pages 403–404, [Apollo 13 scenes]: Lovell, Apollo 13; Barbree et al., Moonshot.
page 404, “quit worrying and get some sleep”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 270.
page 404, “forlorn and pitiful”: Ibid., p. 271.
page 404, “She was a good ship”: Ibid., p. 272.
page 404, “Anytime you want Apollo 13 back, Al . . .”: Author interview with James Lovell.
page 404, [Louise quiet, shy, and sometimes sickly]: Author interview with Dorel Alco Abbot.
page 405, “What do you expect from a sailor?”: Author interviews with Lola Morrow and Bill Dana; Schefter, The Race.
page 405, “ ‘How did an asshole like that get a queen like her?’ ” Author interview with Gene Cernan.
page 407, Shepard got dressed . . . and sneaked out: Author interview with Ed Mitchell.
page 407, “Okay, Al, you win. It’s your flight”: Cernan, with Davis, Last Man on the Moon, p 261.
page 408, “the first and only time I’d seen Alan humble”: Author interview with Gene Cernan.
19: “What’s wrong with this ship?”
page 410, “I’m going to be leaving town”: “It’s the Astronaut’s Wife Who Suffers Special Agony,” Associated Press (February 7, 1971).
page 410, [Louise and Cary Grant]: Author interview with Peter Vanderhoef.
page 410, “I’m constantly aware of the moon these days”: “It’s the Astronaut’s Wife Who Suffers Special Agony,” Associated Press (February 7, 1971).
page 410, “Let’s get on with it”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 280.
page 411, “very smooth and strangely quiet”: Ibid.
page 412, Shepard told Roosa to “juice it”: Ibid., p. 289.
page 412, “It’s not working”: Robert Godwin, ed., Apollo 14: The NASA MissionReports (Ontario: Apogee Books, 2001).
page 413, “a messy operation”: Shepard, interview with Burke; Godwin, Apollo 14.
page 413, At the Cape Louise felt closer to Alan: “It’s the Astronaut’s Wife Who Suffers Special Agony,” Associated Press (February 7, 1971).
page 414, “really gave them hell”: Author interview with Dorel Alco Abbot.
pages 414–415, “too busy . . . not important”: Godwin, Apollo 14.
page 415, “uptight” and “snappish”: William Hines, “Touchdown Time on Moon,” Chicago Sun-Times (February 6, 1971).
page 415, “found it difficult to relax”: Godwin, Apollo 14.
page 415, “Hot damn”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 294.
page 416, “This is really a wild place”: Ibid.
page 416, “the most stark and desolate . . .”: Ibid.
page 416, “What’s wrong with this ship?”: Ibid., p. 297.
page 417, “Done” Ibid., p. 298.
page 419, “We’re aware of the ground rules”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 301.
page 419, “If the radar doesn’t kick in . . .”: Ibid.
pages 418–420, [Entire radar malfunction moonlanding scene]: Barbree et al., Moonshot; Godwin, Apollo 14.
page 420, Conrad won $500 from Oriana Fallaci: Andrew Chaikin, A Man on the Moon (New York: Penguin Books, 1994), p. 261.
page 421, “very finite . . . so incredibly fragile”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 310.
page 421, “Now I’m on the moon”: Shepard, oral history interview, Roy Neal.
page 422, “We weren’t trained to smell the roses”: Buzz Aldrin, “What It Feels Like to Walk on the Moon,” Esquire (June, 2001), p. 90.
page 423, “the only two living creatures on this dead world”: Edgar Mitchell and Dwight Williams, The Way of the Explorer: An Apollo Astronaut’s Journey Through the Material and Mystical Worlds (Audio Partners Publishing Group, 1996, audiotape).
page 423, “Why the hell are we whispering?”: Author interview with Ed Mitchell; Shepard, interview with Burke.
page 426, [Apollo 14 scenes]: Chaikin, A Man on the Moon; Barbree et al., Moonshot; Moonshot, Turner Home Video; Kapp, To the Moon, audio book; author interview with Ed Mitchell; Godwin, Apollo 14; Shepard interviews and oral histories.
page 427, “Good, good, they made it”: “Wife Sees Shepard in Promised Land,” Associated Press (February 6, 1971).
page 428, “granddaddy of space”: Press conference, Houston (January 9, 1971).
page 428, “cut the mustard or you don’t”: “Alan Shepard: Oldest, Richest of Astronauts,” The Washington Post (January 3, 1971).
page 429, “the most personally satisfying thing I’ve ever done”: Platt, Florida Today.
page 429, “Given a disciplined self”: R. M. Henry, “Reaching for the Stars,” All Hands (April, 1982).
page 429, “old man Moses . . . made his promised land”: “Wife Sees Shepard in Promised Land,” Associated Press (February 6, 1971).
page 430, “something incomprehensibly big”: Mitchell and Williams, The Way of the Explorer.
page 430, “I did it, boss”: Ibid.
page 431, “divine presence”: The Other Side of the Moon (Discovery Communications Inc., unreleased review copy).
page 431, “He did his thing, I did my thing”: Author interview with Ed Mitchell.
page 431, “first two swings were embarrassing failures”: “Dinner Honoring the Apollo 14 Astronauts,” Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents (March 8, 1971).
page 432, “As a planet, we are so small”: Author interview with Robert B. Williams; Allen, Yankee.
page 432, “It’s too bad . . .”: Allen, Yankee.
page 432 drunken night with Lauren Bacall: Author interview with Dorel Abbot.
page 433, “My father’s example was he led a good life”: Allen, Yankee.
page 433, “I was wrong”: Allen, Yankee; Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
PART III /// AFTER SPACE
20: “When you’ve been to the moon, where else are you going to go?”
page 437, named in a paternity suit by a Playboy bunny: Tara Weingarten, “Crashing to Earth,” Newsweek, August 3, 1998, p. 46.
page 437, “somewhat in turbulence ever since”: The Other Side of the Moon (Discovery Communications Inc., unreleased review copy).
page 438, [Aldrin’s nervous breakdown]: Aldrin and Warga, Return to Earth.
page 438, “the climax of my life”: Weingarten, Newsweek.
page 438, “The search goes on . . .”: Ibid.
page 439, “Some unfortunate ones didn’t have a dream”: The Other Side of the Moon (Discovery Communications Inc., unreleased review copy).
page 439, He once told a friend: Author interview with Allen Neuharth.
page 440, “to put it in a box, and on a shelf”: Shepard, Academy of Achievement.
page 440, “gone to great lengths to maintain my privacy”: “People in the News,” Associated Press (May 5, 1979).
page 440, “where else are you going to go?”: Watson, The Washington Times.
page 441, “about broke even on that”: Wainwright, Life (1971).
page 441, “some good business deals and some bad ones”: Wainwright, Life (1971); Platt, Florida Today; “Alan Shepard: Oldest, Richest of Astronauts,” Washington Post (January 3, 1971).
page 441, “for my own personal gain”: Olive M. Abbott, et al., From Turnpike to Interstate: The 150 Years of Derry, New Hampshire (Canaan, New Hampshire: Phoenix Publishing, 1977), p. 90.
page 441, businessmen . . . “like ducks to water”: Author interview with Gordon Cooper.
page 442, Shepard . . . experienced “his share of close calls”: Ibid.
page 442, “not to use my position as an astronaut”: Wainwright, Life (1970).
page 442, “I tried to separate the two”: Ibid.
page 442, [Molly Ivins on Texas]: Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She? (New York: Random House, 1991).
page 443, “He was quite a salesman”: Author interview with Howard Benedict.
page 443, “The business world has smiled upon us”: Naval Academy “Class of ’45” newsletter (1985).
page 443, “never really a fan” of the stock market: Shepard, unpublished interview with author Robert Sherrod.
page 444, [Shepard’s first Kmart]: Ibid.
page 444, “a relatively good investment”: Robert Sherrod, unpublished manuscript, NASA archives.
page 445, “The pay is a lot better than going to the moon”: Henry, All Hands (1982).
page 446, Kraft agreed to put $10,000 down: Author interview with Chris Kraft.
page 446, “Al, I don’t trust this guy”: Ibid.
page 446, “I haven’t seen a dollar of profit yet”: Ibid.
page 446, “until I’m pushing up daisies”: Ibid.
page 446, “got taken . . . We have nothing”: Cathy Gordon, “Potholes and Promises,” Houston Chronicle (June 21, 1987).
page 447, “He was lucky he didn’t go to jail”: Author interview with Chris Kraft.
page 448, besides making money: Naval Academy “Class of ’45” newsletter (1985).
page 448, “a hell of a lot more famous”: Doug Ferguson, “Moon Mulligan,” Houston Chronicle (July 23, 1998).
page 449, “metabolized a lot of adrenaline in my life”: Pat Sullivan, “An Astronaut’s Pitch for Pebble Beach,” San Francisco Chronicle (January 15, 1991).
page 449, “his ability didn’t always match his competitiveness”: Author interview with Bob Murphy.
page 449, “chicken feed”: NBC Sports Spectacular (May 17, 1971).
page 450, “the world’s best kept secret”: “Shepard Admits Three Shots to Sink Moon Hole-in-One,” Philadelphia Bulletin (May 2, 1971).
page 450, “I’ve never told anybody”: Jaime Diaz, “Shooting for the Moon,” Sports Illustrated (August 3, 1998).
page 450, Shepard’s moon balls were . . . made by Spalding: Ibid.
page 450, “I wonder where my golf ball is”: Author interview with Bob Murphy.
21: “I saw a different Alan Shepard, completely different”
page 451, “the question of what bravery is”: Mort Sheinman, “Tom Wolfe; the Author of ‘The Right Stuff’ Blasts Off In This 1979 Interview,” Women’s Wear Daily (September 13, 1999).
pages 452–453, [Louise and The Right Stuff]: Author interview with Dorel Alco Abbot.
page 453, “I have nothing to gain and everything to lose”: Ibid.
page 453, “none of it was all that accurate”: Slayton and Cassut, DEKE!, p. 317.
page 453, “poetic license . . . great movie”: Elisabeth Bumiller and Phil McCombs, “The Right Stuff,” The Washington Post (October 17, 1983).
page 453, “just fiction”: Brenda You, “Alan Shepard Gets Another Shot at Fame,” The Chicago Tribune (June 16, 1994).
page 453, “What movie?”: Watson, The Washington Times.
page 453, “nowhere near as tough as I was”: Ibid.
page 454, without interviewing any of “the original guys”: Jeffrey Weiss, “Alan B. Shepard Jr.,” The Dallas Morning News (July 10, 1994).
page 455, “old disagreements didn’t seem so important”: Ibid.
page 455, “Your idea, you do it”: Author interview with Henri Landwirth; Landwirth, Gift of Life, p. 165.
page 456, [Shepard watching space shuttle explosion]: Author interview with Bob Murphy.
page 456, “a sense of overconfidence, a sense of complacency”: Weiss, The Dallas Morning News.
page 456, “We thought, as a group . . .”: Patt Morrison, “25 Years Later, Mercury Team Launches New Task,” Los Angeles Times (May 5, 1986).
page 457, secretly gave money to help a child: Author interview with Bobbie Slayton.
page 457, gave one of his secondhand cars: Author interview with John Fasolino.
page 457, his parents’ . . . housekeeper’s well: Author interview with Hattie Durgin.
page 458, “He didn’t take one penny for himself”: Author interview with Henri Landwirth.
page 458, “He became passionate about it”: Author interview with Howard Benedict.
page 458, “He was very generous”: Author interview with Wally Schirra.
page 458, “Al was the one who really persisted”: Author interview with John Glenn.
page 459, “Hey, what’re you doing?”: Author interview with John Fasolino.
page 459, One of the other twelve moonwalkers once said: The Other Side of the Moon (Discovery Communications Inc., unreleased review copy).
page 459, “You really end up caring for this planet”: Ibid.
page 460, “If this will help Deke, I’ll do it”: Author interview with Howard Benedict.
page 461, “He did that for Deke and me”: Author interview with Bobbie Slayton.
page 462, getting a morning tee time ten minutes before: Author interview with Doc Abbot.
page 462, a round with Tiger Woods: Author interview with Robert Williams.
22: “This is the toughest man I’ve ever met”
page 463, ceremony for the Alan B. Shepard Jr.: Author interview with Jack Lengyl.
page 464, “I’m going to beat this”: Author interview with Robert Williams.
page 465, [AT&T Pro-Am—not invited back]: Author interview with Bob Murphy; author interview with Daniel Hruby, AT&T Pro-Am historian.
page 465, not a candidate for a bone marrow transplant: Author interview with Mickey Kapp.
page 465, his twice-monthly “pinking up”: Ibid.
page 465, traveled the country looking for a cure: Author interview with Robert Williams.
page 467, “trying to get along, desperately trying to get along”: Cheryl Arvidson, “Alan Shepard remembered as space hero, First Amendment supporter,” The Freedom Forum (Web site obituary,
July 22, 1998).
page 467, “Go talk to my doctor”: Transcript of Shepard interview on CNN (June 20, 1998).
page 468, “a very emotional evening”: Author interview with John Glenn.
page 469, “That was competition at its best”: Shepard, Academy of Achievement.
page 470, One astronaut had seven wives in sixteen years: Cunningham. The All-American Boys, p. 187.
page 471, Louise spoke of how much she missed him: Author interview with Loraine Meyer.
page 471, she might not be cut out for widowhood: Author interview with Dorel Alco Abbot.
page 472, Laura told a family friend . . . : Author interview with Robert Williams.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Primary Interviews
Dorel Alco Abbot, James L. “Doc” Abbot, Andrew Atwell, Robert Baldwin, Foster Ball, Jay Barbree, Jack Barron, Ray Bates, Sam Beddingfield, Howard Benedict, Al Blackburn, Bill Botts, Sherman Brickett, Anne (Shepard) Bullis, Eugene Cernan, William F. Chaires, Laura (Shepard) Churchley, J. T. Cockrill, Gordon Cooper, Wayne Coyne, Walter Cronkite, Bill Dana, Nancy Darling, H. Y. Davidson, Al Deale, Hattie Durgin, Robert Elder, Ike Evans, John Fasolino, Chuck Friedlander, Francis Gallien, Bill Geiger, Paul Gillcrist, John Glenn, Don Gregory, Betty Grissom, Paul Haney, Dick Hardy, Paul Havenstein, Don Hawes, Bill Hines, William House, John Huber, Julie (Shepard) Jenkins, Howard Johnson, Mickey Kapp, Jack King, Wayne Koons, Christopher Kraft, Henri Landwirth, William Lawrence, Jack Lengyl, James Lovell, William McLaughlin, Maxine Messinger, Loraine Meyer, Ed Mitchell, John Mitchell, Lola Morrow, Ralph Morse, Harold Moynihan, Bob Murphy, Al Neuharth, Dee O’Hara, Warren O’Neil, George Overman, Marion Pounder, James “Jig Dog” Ramage, Frank Repp, Larry Richardson, Julian Scheer, Jim Schefter, Walter M. Schirra, Joe Schmitt, Gloria Schwendeman, Hank Searls, Denni Seibert, Richard Sewall, George Sheldon, Don Shelton, Dudley Shepard, Henry Shepard, Tazewell Shepard, Bobbie Slayton, Charles B. Spangler, Tom Spargo, Ralph Stell, James Stockdale, Syd Stockdale, Bill Strong, Dick True, Peter Vanderhoef, Robert Voas, Alice (Shepard) Wackermann, Tamie Watters, Mickey Weisner, Ralph Weymouth, George Whisler, Betty Whisler, Robert Beresford Williams
Books
Abbot, Olive M. et al. From Turnpike to Interstate: the 150 years of Derry, New Hampshire. Canaan, New Hampshire: Phoenix Publishing, 1977.