Just Like Heaven

by Steven Slavick

  What added an element of strangeness to the melancholy of failing to find his brother was that he only had himself to blame. If he hadn’t placed so much emphasis on receiving praise from others, he could have reunited with the only person in the world who understood him. Failing that endeavor, Nick felt defeated during the one instant where he’d finally achieved the type of success that had always eluded him. The excitement around him only compounded his disappointment because he had no one to share it with.

  Now, he felt closed in, claustrophobic.

  Roland appeared beside him. As though gauging Nick’s discomfort, he reached out and clutched his forearm. They disappeared.

  *

  “Where are we?” Nina asked, walking across a soft beige carpet inside a ranch style home. Although abstract art hung from the tea green walls, she couldn’t find one framed photograph in this home, and although she had stepped into four different rooms, each with its own ethnic theme (Chinese, Norwegian, Venezuelan, and American), she couldn’t find a bedroom. She supposed that had something to do with not needing a bed to sleep in. Still, she noted closed tan-colored blinds that led to a sliding door, emphasizing a need for privacy.

  She turned back to Mei Lee. “You like your privacy, huh? Do you do yoga in the nude? Are you afraid of nosy neighbors?”

  Mei Lee shook her head. “Since I’m not bound by the physical form, I don’t need to exercise. But I do practice yoga because it cleanses the soul. And, no, I’ve never practiced in the nude.” Then a look of uncertainty took hold of her. “Wait, should I? Does nude yoga add to the pleasure principle?”

  “Yes, but only for Janet Jackson.” Seeing confusion register on Mei Lee’s face, Nina said. “Pleasure Principle is a song of hers. But no, I don’t think it really helps.” Nina peered through the blinds but saw only green pastures amid rolling hills. “So why do you have curtains? You don’t have any neighbors?”

  “I guess I also cling to some vestige of humanity,” said Mei Lee from another room.

  “Why?”

  “Throughout earth’s history, people have sought shelter from predators and the weather. In heaven, no one needs a home, but many of us have them because it’s one of the few things, including a blue sky, lakes of water, and material objects, that are the same for every spirit no matter how long ago they last visited earth.” She returned holding a red box.

  “How did the house get here? Did you build it? And why are you living out here in the middle of nowhere?”

  “I will answer about 80% of your questions, but since your fate hasn’t yet been decided, I’m not permitted to answer the rest.”

  “Who said so?”

  “God.” She sat down Indian-style, placing the rectangular red box beside her.

  “Oh,” Nina said, feeling chastised to such an extent that she decided not to push the topic. “What’s in the box?”

  “Scattergories.”

  “A board game?” Nina felt a joke coming on. “We’re in heaven, and you want to play Scattergories?” The creative-thinking game where, upon given a letter, a set of subject categories, and a time limit, players scored points by naming people, places, and things that began with that letter.

  “Why not?” Mei Lee asked with a straight face. “Would you prefer another game?”

  “Okay, wait. You’re telling me that when I die, I’ll be sitting around playing Scrabble and Risk?”

  “What’s wrong with that?” Mei Lee asked, looking offended. “Why not play a good board game among friends.”

  “A board game?”

  “Yes.”

  “In heaven?” she asked, waiting for the punch line.

  “Of course. I’m the current record holder in our Monopoly tournament. Each contender, after winning a game, must continue in consecutive rounds until only two contestants remain.”

  “So how many games did you play in a row before you won?”

  “1,412.”

  Nina smiled, but the shock of hearing that anyone had played almost fifteen hundreds games of Monopoly back to back prevented her from laughing out loud. “How?”

  “You’ve never played Monopoly?” Excitement bordering on hysterical joy lit Mei Lee’s face. “Then we must play.” She placed both hands on the ground to lift herself to her feet. “You’ll get an opportunity to face the title holder.”

  Almost frightened by the manic glee on Nina’s face, she placed a palm on her friend’s knee, keeping her in place. “Scattergories is fine. But why are we playing?”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s Roland’s favorite game. He played 4,319 rounds to become the current champion.”

  “You two are a real pair, aren’t you? Sitting around in heaven…playing board games.” Seeing her friend shake her head as though disapproving of such condescension increased the severity of her humorous fit.

  “I don’t understand—”

  “Hi,” said Nick, flanked by Roland, as they appeared beside them.

  “All I ask is that you knock on the door,” said Mei Lee, bolting to her feet and glaring at Roland. “Why is that concept so difficult to understand?”

  Roland shrugged. “It’s not. I just don’t see the point.”

  “This is my house. It’s a matter of respect.”

  “Well, it was my house first. Until you banished me from the premises.”

  Nina exchanged a querulous look with Nick, who sidestepped the arguing couple with raised eyebrows as though expecting to see plates and cups whipping through the air at any moment. “So do you just invade homes on principle or is this the first time?” she asked Nick.

  “I hitched a ride with Roland,” Nick said, kneeling down beside her, “so I’m a first-timer.” He looked at Mei Lee. “But Roland sure seems to enjoy it. Oh, here’s something I’ve been curious about: Roland’s twice your age. Do you have a thing for old dudes that look like Colonel Sanders?”

  “It’ll probably shock you, but we are the same age as you two.”

  Roland cleared his throat. “I enjoyed my time on earth best while using this appearance. Mei Lee feels the same about the features she shows to others. We have the opportunity to change our countenance at any time, but we may only do so under the guise of those we appeared as on earth.”

  “What’s going on here?” Nick asked, disinterested. “Is that Scattergories? Now I know for sure that I’m not in heaven. If the big Guy ever lets me in, which is still up for debate, I sure as hell won’t be wasting my time playing a board game.” He regarded Nina. “And you still think you’ve passed through the pearly gates?”

  “Guilty as charged.”

  “You ever notice that people only use that line in shame? Criminals never cop to the truth.”

  “This from a man who doubts he’s eligible to enter heaven.”

  “Well, I didn’t apply, so how could I be eligible? Okay, seriously, what’s with the board game?”

  “It seems Roland wants to play.”

  “Really? I’ve never played it, so…why not?”

  Roland’s neck craned toward him with immediacy. “You’ve never played?” He looked insulted. Then he turned his attention back to Mei Lee and rested both hands on her shoulders. “I apologize, my love. Next time, I promise to knock before entering.”

  “Admit that you do it to rattle me.”

  A sneaky smile spread across his face. “I admit to nothing.” His smile widened as he turned toward Nick and Nina and sat down beside them. He glanced up at Mei Lee. “Prepare for your doom.”

  Mei Lee met Nina’s gaze and sighed before taking a seat with them.

  It made Nina realize that, even in heaven, men and women would continue to have disagreements. “What have you been up to?”

  Nick cocked his head to the side. “Just hangin’ with Picasso, Monet, Dali, and my bro, Thomas Kinkade.”

  “Oh my God, I love Kinkade. I have three of his paintings. Okay, they’re lithographs. I can’t afford his canvases.”

  Nick thought Nina was gorgeous and smart
and fun, but after this admission, he found himself falling for her in a big way.

  “But those other artists, too? Were they greeted by hordes of fans, clamoring to get their pictures taken? Wait, are there art groupies? Did they lift their shirts and ask Picasso to paint his name on their breasts?”

  “Of course. I’ve done it at least a dozen times.”

  She narrowed her eyes in mock anger. In truth, she didn’t like the idea of any woman sidling up to Nick and asking for anything beyond an autograph or picture. But given his charisma, she assumed that plenty of women would definitely want more from him than just a picture or autograph. After all, she counted herself among that group.

  “We had a…I don’t know what you’d call it. You know how they have those cooking contests on reality shows? It was like that but with dudes holding paintbrushes…” He paused. “Yeah, I don’t think that could ever sound cool.”

  “Well, it sounds more butch than dudes holding pots and pans.”

  “So you’re equating me with a masculine lesbian? Awesome. Thanks for reserving judgment. But anyway, the difference here is that, compared to a lot of reality shows, there aren’t any judges, just spectators, so it’s not really a competition. But it still sort of felt like one. Oh, remember that portrait I couldn’t get right at the diner?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I perfected it. Now I can finish the landscape I was working on.”

  Nina could tell by his satisfied expression that Nick felt he’d held up well against the trio, but she couldn’t tell how well. And she wanted to know. How could she not? He’d battled three of the most world renowned artists in history. All right, using the word battled may have more physical connotations than actuality, but it seemed an appropriate term when dueling with legends.

  Upon further reflection, she knew all too well why she resorted to words that symbolized violence: while attempting to perform the few times in her life that she’d gotten the nerve to stand in front of an audience, Nina felt like she’d endured a public beat down that left her confidence broken and battered, even if her physical form hadn’t suffered so much as a pinprick.

  Nick didn’t seem to agonize over performing in public, and based on the shell-shocked look on his face, he surprised himself by doing better than he perhaps thought possible. It made her smile. Nina didn’t know why, but whenever she looked at him, she felt a part of her soul releasing its inhibitions. For whatever reason, whenever in his presence, she felt her confidence overshadow her self-doubt, a rarity that otherwise only occurred when alone. It seemed that his poise had somehow brought out the best in her.

  “What?” he asked with a smile.

  “Nothing,” she said, flustered that she’d actually been staring at him with a dreamy smile of her own. How embarrassing! He probably thought she was having a mental moment.

  Nick looked at her with an intensity that made her want to look away, but she held his gaze. And this time, she could see that the desire in his eyes matched her own. He inched closer to her, his expression becoming more open and vulnerable, and she closed the distance between them, wanting to taste his lips.

  “Fine,” Roland said, raising his voice.

  Nina, startled by the interruption, jerked backwards and noticed that Nick had the same reaction. She glared at Roland, who took Mei Lee’s hand and led her toward them and onto the ground. To alleviate some of her animosity at having dashed her hopes of kissing Nick, she said, “Okay, Mr. World Class Scattergories Champion, are you ready to get trampled?”

  As Nina handed out a pencil, a pad on which to write answers, and a category card containing three lists of topics to each participant, Roland explained the rules to Nick. Then she grabbed the twenty-sided letter die and rolled it. “B.”

  Roland hit the three-minute timer, and everyone began jotting down answers that began with the letter “B.” Before long, the timer clicked, signaling the end of that round.

  From here, each player would rattle off the answers they had accumulated. Mei Lee started off. “A Boy’s Name: Bobby. U.S. Cities: Bartlett – that’s in Illinois. Things that are cold: beer.”

  “Wait,” said Roland. “Beer is only cold if you place it in the refrigerator. It doesn’t originate there.”

  Nick laughed. “I don’t think it ‘originates’ in a can either, Roland.”

  “I’m only stating that a person must place it in a refrigerator. It’s not in its natural element.”

  Mei Lee stared at him, annoyed. “You’re serious? You’re arguing that beer doesn’t belong in the fridge? Are you a man? When you were on earth, did you go to a beach and have a friend say, ‘How about a warm beer?’ No. Because people don’t drink warm beer.”

  “But in heaven—”

  “How many times do I have to say this? If it’s obvious on either heaven or earth, the answer is acceptable for this game.”

  “But without electricity—”

  Nina decided to handle this one. “I work as a bartender. In all my time, I never served anyone a warm beer. And no one ever asked for a warm beer. I’m with Mei Lee on this one.” She looked to Nick. “Do you agree?” Watching him nod, she said to Roland, “Three to one. She gets a point.”

  He just shook his head.

  Mei Lee nodded in agreement. “Your argument is null and void. Moving on, school supplies: books.”

  Roland threw up his hands. “A book? That can’t count. You can’t do something with a book except read it. School supplies are pens, paper and pencils.”

  Mei Lee said, “Clear out your ears, old man. The letter is B not P.”

  She stood up and approached Roland, narrowing her eyes at him. “What’s this about? And don’t tell me the intricacies of the game.” She motioned to Nick and Nina. “It’s them, isn’t it? This is all about them.”

  Roland craned his neck in their direction but didn’t let look at them. “I’d rather not say.” His low, almost guilt-ridden voice indicated that Mei Lee had hit the intended target.

  Even though Nina had no idea what Mei Lee referred to, she didn’t like the insinuation.

  This method of conflict resolution reminded her of her parents: in one way or another, whenever they fought, they used her existence to prove their point or rationalized that Nina shouldn’t be exposed to certain words, ideas, images, etc. It didn’t even matter what they argued about. They addressed their issues by stating what shouldn’t be done, lest they warp her values or morals.

  After each argument, her parents had difficulty looking at her, let alone talking to her because her presence made it impossible for them to pursue their interests and the ways they wanted to lead their lives. Nina not only felt unwanted and unloved, but she concluded that her existence had ruined her parents’ lives.

  This inability to earn her parents’ love and respect encouraged her to find solace in Whitney Houston’s music. Although Whitney’s songs often revolved around romantic love, Nina connected with the themes in a much broader sense. Since she didn’t know what it felt like to have another person love her, she first connected with Whitney’s song, “How Will I Know” because it posed the question she wanted an answer to: “How will I know if he really loves me?” She never knew what it felt like to have her father smile at her. Never knew what it felt like to have her mother kiss her forehead.

  So when Nina sat alone in her room, singing along to Whitney’s music, she asked the same questions that her favorite artist asked: “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” and “Why Does it Hurt So Bad.”

  After she went away to college and the men she dated always broke up with her, she found it consoling to sing: “Didn’t We Almost Have It All” and “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me).” Nina always reserved the most respect for recording artists who wrote and sang their own material, but when Whitney’s voice opened up, she felt that this musician, more than any other, could identify with all of the self-doubt that plagued Nina throughout her life.

  “I can’t believe this,” said Mei Lee, walk
ing away from Roland, only to return to him an instant later, unable to contain her fury. “We decided over 25 years ago, in earth terms anyway, to go along with their wishes. That is our job.” She pointed to Nick and Nina. “We promised them. Regardless of what you think or feel, you promised them.”

  “I only agreed to their terms because you wouldn’t let the issue rest. They’ve made a mistake.”

  “Don’t make this about us.”

  “Why not? In the end, it all returns to us. Why do you think they chose us as spirit guides?”

  For the first time in her life, Nina actually had good reason to feel guilty for another couple’s fight. But unlike the past, she didn’t know why Mei Lee and Roland fought. She exchanged a glance with Nick. “Do you know what they’re talking about?”

  “I have no clue,” he said, shrugging. “Hey, Roland: don’t you think it’s only fair to let us in on what we’ve supposedly done that has you two at odds?”

  Nina nodded. “We deserve some answers.”

  Mei Lee crossed her arms and made her way over to them. “Roland and I…are soul mates.”

  “Of course,” said Nick. “That explains why you’re both so happy around each other all the time.”

  “So it’s not just a fable?” Nina asked. “There’s a true love for everyone?”

  Mei Lee said, “Yes. That’s not to say that you can’t get along fabulously with other partners at other points in your life on earth. But each soul has only one true other half.” She sighed. “And I got saddled with Roland.”

  Roland closed his eyes, confounded. “Spoken with such conviction.”

  “But doesn’t that mean you’re supposed to be happy?” Nina asked.

  “One would think,” said Roland, eyeing Mei Lee. “But God wants to keep things interesting, so we often disagree on certain matters.”

  “Like the two of you,” Mei Lee said.

  “What about us?” Nick said, glancing at Nina before returning Roland’s stare with a hardened expression. “Tell us what’s going on. Now!”

  “We won’t tell you,” Mei Lee said. “But we can show you.” She walked over to Nick and extended her hand.

  “Aren’t I supposed to go with Roland?”