Durham Trilogy 03. Never Stand Alone

by Janet MacLeod Trotter

  He fondled her spiky hair again and hugged her to him. ‘Where to now?’

  Carol groaned. ‘I’ll be hung, drawn and quartered for not turning up at Fay’s. You’ve really got me into trouble this time, Mick,’ she teased.

  ‘And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it,’ he laughed, nibbling her ear.

  ‘I don’t think I can face my sister just yet.’

  ‘Don’t then. We’ll ride over to the motorway service station behind Quarryhill and have a big breakfast. Then we can decide what to do on a full stomach.’

  ‘Spoken like a true miner,’ Carol kissed him and felt her desire for him sweep over her again.

  They ordered a huge cooked breakfast and mugs of tea and after that they decided to carry on towards Durham, neither wanting their time together to end. The city was waking from a deep sleep, its cathedral tower languidly tolling the hour and the rooks and wood pigeons breaking the quiet among the thickly wooded river bank. The River Wear shimmered below as early morning rowers skimmed silently across its pewter surface. Carol had never seen the city look so beautiful or peaceful.

  Leaving the bike in the town, they walked along the riverbank until they were out in the countryside again. Mid-morning they stopped at a village and bought cans of Coke to quench their thirst and Carol could not believe she still had energy left to walk further. Retracing their steps, they explored the cobbled city, then mounted the bike once more and took off in the direction of Weardale. They stopped for a drink and sandwich at a pub, high in the folds of the Durham hills, and as the sun broke through, they climbed over a dry-stone wall and lay down in a sheltered field with only sheep for company.

  ‘My parents’ garden party will be starting about now,’ Carol said, with a guilty pang.

  ‘Just tell them you were abducted by a Todd,’ Mick laughed and rolled over to kiss her.

  ‘Oh, that would really make things better,’ Carol snorted.

  ‘Well, if it makes you feel less guilty, I’m missing the Septimus Street party right now, and me mam and sister will never forgive me for that.’

  ‘Aye, but you’ll have pleased your dad. He’ll think it’s a republican protest,’ Carol joked.

  They had talked so much about each other’s families that she felt she knew all about the Todds. She had never imagined how close she could grow to someone so quickly. She marvelled at the strength of these new feelings as she gave herself up to the pleasure of embracing Mick.

  During the afternoon they fell asleep and woke to a gentle rain making them cold and stiff. They took refuge in a tea shop and thawed out with hot drinks and cream scones. Afterwards Carol said she felt really wicked and she wished she didn’t have to go home.

  Mick drew her on to an old wooden bench in the rough open field that passed for a village green.

  ‘Let’s not go home,’ he suggested nervously. ‘We could stay somewhere for the night. I’m not back at work till tomorrow afternoon.’

  Carol felt herself go hot as she realised what he was implying. She was not sure.

  Mick took her hands in his. ‘I don’t want to push things, but I’ve never felt like this about any lass before. I just want to be with you, Carol.’

  She took a deep breath. All she wanted at that moment was to be with him too. She couldn’t bear to be apart from him or see beyond the day. She didn’t want to think of her family’s reaction to such a relationship, so she blotted them from her mind. All she was sure of was her overwhelming longing for the man beside her. She didn’t care what either of their families thought of them, she decided defiantly.

  ‘That’s what I want too,’ she answered quietly.

  Then Mick’s handsome face was smiling in relief and she knew it was going to be all right. They made their way to the cottage advertising Bed & Breakfast at the end of the lane and booked in for the night.

  Chapter Seven

  ‘You stupid, selfish little bitch!’ her mother screamed and slapped Carol across the face. ‘How can you bring such disgrace on your father and me?’

  Carol stood frozen in shock as her puce-faced mother berated her in the empty hall.

  ‘Thank goodness all our friends have gone and won’t have to see you like this - like some scruffy tramp! How dare you waltz in here, bold as brass, after disappearing for two nights? You disgust me! And with that Todd boy. Carol, how could you? I don’t know what your father is going to say.’

  It did not take long to find out. Ben Shannon stormed back from the pithead offices as soon as the incoherent Nancy called him on the telephone. By this time she had pursued her daughter up the stairs where Carol was trying to lock herself in the bathroom and have a shower. But Nancy dragged her out again and pushed her into the guest bedroom, from where Carol could see the marquee being dismantled on the south lawn.

  Mick’s tender parting still played in her head, protecting her from the vitriol of her parents. ‘Let me come in with you,’ he had urged, ‘so you don’t have to face them alone.’ But she had made him go, telling him he must not be late for work. She had not wanted him to hear the abuse that she knew was in store. She would rather have faced her sister first, but she knew Fay and Vic would be out at work and she had no choice but to go home.

  Ben Shannon’s cold rage was worse than her mother’s hysterics. He threw her in a chair and questioned her mercilessly about where they had been, what they had done, prising the information out of her until she was close to tears. When he had finished with her, Carol felt quite humiliated and degraded. What had been for her the most important, intense, tender two days of her life was reduced by them to an underhand, sordid affair.

  ‘Your mother and I will never forgive you for this,’ her father blazed. ‘Your behaviour has been contemptible. From now on we’ll decide who you mix with and where you go. Vic has offered to take you on in his office. It’s just clerical work, but it’s a start and it’s certainly more than you deserve. You’ll attempt to do something useful with your life, Carol. This is the last chance we’re giving you, do you understand? And you’re not to see Mick Todd again - I forbid it!’

  Carol was shaking with misery. She accepted that she deserved a rebuke for disappearing without letting them know where she was, but not this terrible outpouring of bile from her father. His hard brown eyes glared at her now with real hatred and her insides gripped with fear. Never before had he said such awful things to her; it was as if his resentment and anger had been building up for years and had finally exploded. Going off with Charlie Todd’s son had obviously been too much for him.

  When Carol thought of the futile bitterness between the two men, she felt suddenly angry too. Not only had the hatred between them poisoned their own early friendship, but it had nearly prevented her friendship with Mick. All at once Carol was determined that her father would never be allowed to ruin the love she had just found. It had come as an unexpected gift and was too precious to be stamped out by her father’s bitter pride. She had never thought to find someone who loved her as intensely as Mick had these past two days and it gave her the strength to stand up to her father.

  She sprang out of the chair. ‘You’ve no right to tell me who my friends must be and you can’t stop me seeing Mick. We’re in love and we’re going out together. I shall carry on seeing him.’

  Her father grabbed her and shook her hard. ‘No you’re not! You’re my daughter and you’ll do as I say. And I can make things very difficult for Todd at the pit,’ he threatened.

  Carol lashed back. ‘No you can’t! This isn’t nineteen twenty-six any more. You can’t treat people as if they don’t count.’

  Ben gripped her tighter until her arms throbbed. ‘What do you know about the past?’ he demanded with scorn. ‘You learned nothing at school. All you’ve got to your name is a couple of useless CSEs!’

  Carol was stung into replying hotly, ‘Maybe I wasted my time at school, but I’m learning things fast now! I know that me grandfather betrayed the people of Brassbank by scabbing and that’s why yo
u’re where you are today.’

  She heard her mother gasp and thought her father was going to strike her. Instead he dragged her out of the bedroom and on to the landing.

  ‘Get out! I’ll not hear my father maligned by a little whore like you! That Todd’s filled your head full of filth,’ her father bawled. ‘Get out of my house!’

  Carol struggled to free herself from his bruising grip and her mother hovered in the doorway, her pretty face fearful and haggard.

  ‘Ben, please,’ she wailed.

  A moment later, Ben pushed his daughter over the top step and Carol felt herself stumble and lose her grip. She grabbed the banister, but tripped and somersaulted down the wide, red-carpeted stairs. It all happened in seconds. She landed at the bottom, winded and shocked, but still conscious.

  Looking up she saw her parents staring down like figures in a tableau, their expressions frozen.

  ‘Carol?’ her mother’s voice quavered. ‘Carol?’

  Carol pulled herself to her feet, feeling relief that she could still stand, though her head was pounding. Scrambling for the door, her only desire was to escape from the house and the darkness that seemed to engulf it. She never wanted to see her father again.

  ‘Go on, go!’ he shouted at her and chased down the stairs. ‘And don’t come back!’ He picked up her duffel bag and her carpet bag, which still stood by the umbrella stand where she had left them on the night of her arrival, and kicked them after her on to the front steps. ‘And don’t bother running to your sister’s house, because she doesn’t want to know you either. She’s just as ashamed of you as we are!’

  Carol fumbled for her bags and stumbled down the uneven stone steps, a sob choking her throat. She ran as fast as her bruised legs would carry her up the drive, past a startled workman carrying guy ropes, and out through the iron gates. She ran on blindly for several minutes and then collapsed at the side of the road, heaving for breath. Two children gawped at her as they passed on bicycles and Carol made an effort to stand up, trying not to draw attention. But she was shaking too much to carry on; her legs buckled and she sat down again.

  A wide yellow car appeared round the bend, passed her and then stopped, its pointed tail lights showing red as the driver braked. Carol thought vaguely it looked like something out of an American film. It reversed and pulled up beside her, the driver opening his door.

  ‘Are you all right, flower?’ a man asked in concern.

  Carol looked up and saw the gaunt, lively face of Eddy Todd peering down at her. She burst into tears.

  ‘Hey, we can’t have that,’ Eddy fussed, springing out of the car and pulling her up. He held on to her awkwardly but gently and waited for her crying to subside. ‘Can I give you a lift somewhere?’

  ‘I - I don’t know where to go,’ Carol wept. ‘They’ve thrown me out of the house.’

  Eddy steered her round to the passenger side and bundled her in. He offered her a checked handkerchief which smelled faintly of coal dust. After a few minutes Carol was able to explain what had happened. Eddy listened, visibly upset.

  ‘It’ll be all round the village soon, I bet,’ Carol said miserably and wondered if Mick would disown her too. The thought was too painful to contemplate and she felt tears well up again.

  ‘Don’t worry about village gossip,’ Eddy reassured her with a hug. ‘I’ve had plenty of that in the past and no one dies of it. What you need is somewhere to stay. How about your friend Kelly?’

  Carol nodded. ‘If her dad doesn’t mind, I suppose.’

  ‘I can have a word with Ted if needs be,’ Eddy promised.

  Carol smiled for the first time. ‘Thanks a lot.’

  ‘I owe you one, remember?’ Eddy smiled back and started up the Dodge.

  They found Kelly at Val’s boutique and Eddy went to have a quick word with Val while Carol explained her predicament to Kelly.

  Kelly was silent at first and Carol feared her friend was going to refuse; she looked quite shocked by the news.

  ‘Please, Kelly, just for a few days,’ Carol pleaded.

  Kelly rallied. ‘Aye, of course you can - till you get this all sorted out, anyways.’

  Before they left, Val insisted on giving Carol a cup of tea and Eddy pressed a ten pound note into her hand and was gone before Carol could protest.

  Back at Kelly’s house, Carol had a soak in the hot bath while her friend made fish and chips. They ate them together in front of the TV and then Carol dozed off.

  She did not hear the doorbell, but Kelly shook her awake. Carol looked up to see Mick standing in the doorway. She felt waves of relief sweep over her at the look of concern on his face.

  ‘Eddy told me what happened,’ Mick said. ‘I knew I should’ve stayed with you.’ He crossed over and sat down beside her, giving her a tender hug.

  ‘You can’t stay long,’ Kelly said abruptly. ‘Me dad’ll be in from the club soon and he’ll not want to find you here.’

  Carol saw the look of resentment on Kelly’s face and remembered that she had taken a dislike to Mick after they stopped going out. Carol did not want to cause any bad feeling between them.

  ‘You better go, Mick,’ Carol said reluctantly, kissing him quickly. ‘Are things all right for you at home?’

  Mick pulled a face. He was not going to tell her of all the angry words that had been flung at him on his fleeting appearance at home to get ready for work. He had been reproached for missing the street party by Linda, castigated for going off on the motorbike by his mother who thought he had had an accident, and reprimanded by them all for having spent the time with Carol Shannon. They had been spotted returning to the village on the motorbike and news of it had preceded Mick’s arrival.

  ‘Don’t worry about me.’ He smiled and kissed her back.

  Kelly made a noise of disapproval and marched into the kitchen, making a great clatter as she washed the dishes.

  Carol and Mick exchanged looks.

  ‘She doesn’t like me,’ Mick whispered.

  ‘Can’t think why.’ Carol grinned and kissed him again.

  ‘I’ll come round tomorrow before me shift,’ Mick said. ‘We can get away for a few hours.’

  ‘Good,’ Carol agreed. Seeing him but not being able to be with him was torture to her and she let him go with reluctance.

  After he had gone, Carol tried to talk to Kelly about him, but her friend cut her off bluntly.

  ‘Listen, Carol, I don’t like all this business with Mick Todd. You shouldn’t have gone off with him without telling anyone. I was worried when you didn’t turn up at our street party.’

  Carol snorted. ‘The last time I saw you was at the bonfire going off with Sid Armstrong. You didn’t seem particularly bothered about me then.’

  Kelly blushed. ‘Sid’s different. He’s just a friend. You know where you stand with Sid. But Mick Todd leads a lass on and you’re a fool to trust him. He’ll use you and then dump you like he did with me.’

  Carol flinched at the accusation. ‘I thought you finished with him?’

  ‘What does it matter now?’ Kelly snapped. ‘I’m just telling you that he’s bad news.’

  Carol stared at her friend, puzzled by her hostility, and wondered if she could be jealous of her new relationship with Mick.

  ‘Kelly,’ she said quietly, ‘I’m really in love with someone for the first time. I’m sorry if you don’t like Mick, but I’m going to carry on seeing him no matter what anyone thinks, even you.’

  Kelly glared at her, her face crimson. ‘Have it your own way but don’t say I didn’t warn you.’ She went and turned off the TV, then added tersely, ‘And you can’t stay here long either, not if Mick keeps coming round. Me dad doesn’t like him and it’ll only cause trouble.’

  Carol looked at her sadly. ‘Just give me a few days and I’ll be out of your way.’

  They went upstairs without speaking another word to each other.

  The next day, after Carol had seen Mick and heard him declare that no one was going
to stand in the way of their seeing each other, she went to speak to Vic Proud. She found her brother-in-law in the scruffy, nicotine-stained office above his bus depot, arguing sharply with someone on the telephone. He saw her and rang off.

  ‘Hello, Vic. I’ve come about the clerical job,’ she came straight to the point. ‘Is it still on offer?’

  Vic eyed her. ‘Well, you’ve certainly stirred things up around here, haven’t you?’

  ‘So you’ve heard?’ Carol went red.

  ‘Surprised it wasn’t on the regional news. Naughty, naughty Carol,’ he teased.

  ‘Please, Vic, I need a job. Dad won’t give me anything now - and I wouldn’t want him to,’ she said stubbornly.

  Vic laughed. ‘Yes, OK, I need someone to answer the telephone and contact drivers. My last YOP’s just left. You can start Monday.’

  Carol smiled in relief. ‘Don’t suppose Fay would consider having a lodger for a month until I get paid, would she?’

  ‘I don’t think even I could swing that one at the moment, Carol,’ Vic said, offering her a cigarette. She refused. ‘No, your sister’s really upset by it all, and she takes your parents’ side as usual.’ He lit up. ‘You’d have been better off staying in London, if you ask me.’

  ‘No,’ Carol was adamant, ‘then I would never have met Mick. This is where I belong. I know that now.’

  Vic shrugged and the telephone rang again. While he was answering it, the other one rang and Carol picked it up. She took a message. Vic came off the line and told her he had to dash over to the travel shop in Whittledene.

  ‘Can you stay for an hour or two? It’s just I’m short-staffed at the moment.’ He gave her his disarming smile.

  ‘Course,’ Carol replied and found herself working there for the rest of the day.

  The summer passed quickly working at the coach depot. The hours were long and badly paid, but Carol enjoyed getting to know the drivers and chatting to the customers and feeling responsible for running the office. Even at Val’s she had never been entrusted with so much and it gave her a special thrill to be relied upon and have her opinion valued.