New Blue (Blue Series Book 5)

by Jules Barnard

  I sit on the edge of the air mattress cross-legged and look up at the star-dotted sky through the wide opening of the tent and the break in the trees. “Have I mentioned how much I like Levi and his awesome piece of land? Do you think he’d mind if I lived in his tent?”

  Adam drops his coat on my lap and squats in front of me. “No, but I would have an issue with it.”

  I hold back a smile. “As handsome as Levi is, he has nothing on you, Adam Cade. I’ve never met a more handsome man. Used to piss me off when you first started working at Blue. It was distracting.”

  His hands slide down my calves. “And now?”

  “Now it’s ten times worse, because I know you.” My voice is sober, and I swallow the burn in my throat. Adam has asked me to trust him, and that’s what I want to do, but I’m scared.

  For a moment, he doesn’t say or do anything. The sound of my unsteady breathing fills the tent. And then his hands come down on either side of me, dipping the air mattress as he leans forward. I drop back until I’m lying with him hovering over me.

  His body slowly lowers, his hips settling between my thighs, elbows propped on either side of my head. Then his mouth covers me too. First a soft whisper along my jaw, a gentle kiss below my ear. Then his lips are on mine.

  My hands flutter at my sides as Adam tilts my jaw and deepens the kiss, his tongue and lips and his palm along my jaw soothing the fear and frustration boiling inside me.

  He leans on one elbow and reaches for my hand, linking our fingers above my head. He gazes down at me. He should say something, reassure me, but he doesn’t. He drops his head and kisses me again. Telling me with the movement of his lips and the circular motion of his thumb against my palm how much I mean to him.

  And it goes on and on like this until I feel dizzy.

  A shiver racks my body.

  “Cold?” he asks, and I nod. It’s summer, but the temperatures drop sharply in the basin at night and I can feel the change, even with Adam’s body heat above me.

  He presses a soft kiss to my lips, now tender from all the kissing. “Wait here.” He rises and spreads his coat over me, then rolls up his sleeves and reaches for the flashlight. Flicking it on, he walks off and disappears into the dark.

  A minute passes and I don’t hear him or see the flashlight. “Where did you go?” I call out.

  A loud thump sounds beside me and I flinch. “Holy crap.” I slap a hand to my chest.

  Adam’s flashlight crosses in front of me to a bunch of chopped wood. He looks inside the tent. “I’m building you a fire. Pretty sure it’s on the honey-do list.”

  I attempt to compose myself after I nearly peed my pants over an armload of wood. “Damn straight. Get on that, will you? And please flex your muscles while you’re at it.”

  “As my lady wishes.” He unbuttons his shirt and pulls it out of his pants and off his arms, dropping it onto the mattress beside me. Then he collects the wood and swaggers to the fire pit. Adam orients the pieces in what looks like the shape of a teepee. It’s really dark out, and I can hardly see anything, which pisses me off because this is as manly as it gets and I’m missing half the show. And then the glow of fire flickers, illuminating Adam’s body and the wood pyramid.

  Golden light touches the strong curve of Adam’s jaw as he squats beside the wood, lighting it in strategic places, his thick thigh muscles straining against suit pants he never changed out of. His undershirt cuts into his biceps, accentuating the dip and swell of strong arms…

  I sit back and admire. Now this is what I’m talking about.

  Adam stands and places the extra wood off to the side, then brushes off his hands and walks over to me. He enters the tent and sits beside me, snaking his arm around my hips and pulling me closer. “Better?”

  The heat of the fire is making its way to me, but it’s nowhere near as heat-inducing as his presence. “Much better.”

  In this world, where it’s just Adam and me and no one else, everything is perfect. But this isn’t real life. “What happens tomorrow?” I say.

  We’ve done a lot of kissing and not much else. Not that I’m complaining, because there were words exchanged in those kisses. I translated them as: Hayden, I’m sorry. Hayden, I love you. Hayden, you are beautiful and I bask in your glory. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s how he made me feel.

  He rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the fire. “We go to work, and we do our jobs. We go home”—he looks over—“to your place. And we make out some more.”

  I lower my eyes. “Just make out.” I’m all for kissing, but I’m curious about why he hasn’t taken things further. Adam is normally much more, uh, assertive in that regard. And okay, sure, things were tense there in the beginning, but we made up via heavy lip contact and silent communication.

  His jaw shifts and he lets out a sigh. “Only kissing.”

  Whoa, what? “What do you mean?”

  He shifts and faces me, a forearm propped on one knee. “There are things I can’t tell you right now, but I want to be with you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my girlfriend, but you’re right.”

  “I am?” What am I right about? Because I was just getting warmed up and looking forward to the next course. Especially after Adam’s very masculine fire-building display. And I’ve missed him. A lot—like a whole lot.

  “I can’t tell you what you want to know about Blue and the Bliss project right now. Until I can, we shouldn’t be intimate.”

  “Have you lost your mind?” That sounds desperate, but shit, what’s he talking about? We can barely keep our hands off each other at work, and now he wants to ban physical contact at home?

  His mouth turns down in a crooked frown. “Possibly.” And then he swoops in and captures my lips, stealing a kiss and my breath and whatever logic I was constructing to get him to reconsider. “I want you,” he breathes, pulling back. “But I don’t want you to have to question my feelings and whether or not you can trust me.” He turns to the fire. “And I can tell that you do.”

  Well, damn. He’s right.

  And that makes sense. Though I don’t like it. Not one bit. “So how long are we abstaining while sleeping in the same bed…and making out?”

  He breathes out a frustrated sigh and glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “Hopefully not long.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Adam

  Thank fucking God it’s Saturday. The auction and burlesque show and the Bliss grand opening tonight need to be over before I lose my mind. I’ve stayed at Hayden’s place every night this week. We’ve watched movies, eaten takeout, and made out. Lots of heavy making out. I’m about to explode. And the worst part is, I have no idea when my self-imposed abstinence will end, because for some shit-poor reason I’ve got it in my head that I can’t touch her until I’m able to be open about the Bliss venture.

  It seems right. I want to take a step back until we can be totally honest with each other. I’m trying to be a good guy for once. But for the love of God, this is torture.

  I should quit my job. My father can keep his trust fund. I’ll take up handyman work for Hayden on her ever-growing honey-do list. She likes it when I use my hands.

  My hands…on her body…

  I mutter a curse, just as my new assistant walks in. “Excuse me?” she says.

  “Nothing, Diane.” I clear my throat. “What can I do for you?”

  “Oh.” She brightens and walks to my desk, her plastic reading glasses dangling from a cord around her neck.

  Diane came on board a few days ago, and she’s lifted a load of administrative crap off my shoulders. After the Bridget disaster, Blackwell relented and allowed Hayden to find a replacement. Hayden found Diane, so of course my new assistant comes highly qualified. Whenever possible, I will happily hand off hiring good people to my girlfriend from now on.

  “I confirmed that a Mr. Aldridge checked into the casino.” Diane rattles off his room number.

  “Thank you. I’ll take it
from here.” I pick up the phone and dial Eve’s extension while Diane exits my office.

  “Hello, Adam.” Eve answers on the first ring. Her sultry voice has me mentally rolling my eyes. Eve is beautiful—and I have never been attracted to her. She’s sleeping with Blackwell, but that’s not the reason. I’ve watched Eve lie her way through a meeting at another’s expense, and manipulate coworkers out of bonuses for her own gain. Working with her has been a means to an end. She’s one of Blackwell’s top executives, and she’s also heavily involved in Bliss.

  “I’ve got one more for tonight. An ex-quarterback who’s a frequent host on ESPN. He’s booked in a room on the same floor as the others.” I give her the room number. “Please deliver the introduction basket and agenda. He’s already arrived.”

  “This is a surprise.” I hear the light sound of a pen scraping. “Blackwell will be pleased. How did you say you know this person?”

  I didn’t. Eve is fishing for information because she’s been unsuccessful at bringing in new Bliss members. “A friend of a friend,” I tell her.

  The one thing about coming from money is that no one questions your connection to others with money.

  I contacted Jeb about this evening and we came up with a small plan to ensure Bliss is on the up-and-up. Things will play out the way they will, but at least I’ve done all I can.

  I end the call with Eve and check my phone. I’ve got a few more minutes before Hayden said she’d be leaving for the day. I button my coat and head down the hall. And yes, there could be extra purpose in my steps. Just knowing I’m going to see Hayden in a minute has my body temperature rising in anticipation.

  Her office is open and I step inside, quietly closing and locking the door behind me.

  Hayden looks up and slowly stands, her hands pressing the front of her skirt above her thighs. “This is dangerous,” she says, her chest rising and falling more quickly as I stalk across the room.

  “Is it?” I say lightly, my focus on her eyes, her mouth, her hair, and down.

  She leans against her desk as I round it, her red skirt flaring out from her waist. She twists a strand of pearls at her throat. “You’ve created a powder keg,” she says, her gaze dropping to my mouth.

  I scan her cream knit top, which is accentuating some of my favorite curves. Well, that and the shape of her legs, the way her waist cuts in, her beautiful smile—okay, I like all the curves. I stop an inch away. “Have I?” I say, but I know damn well I have, and I’m helpless to take back what I’ve started.

  Without further ado, I reach down and bunch the hem of her skirt, my fingers skimming over her thighs. Her hands flutter to my chest, her gaze never leaving my lips. “We can’t go on like this. I give,” she says, and brushes her lips against my jaw. “You can keep your secrets about Bliss. I don’t need them anyway.”

  My hands freeze where they’re kneading her ass. I pick her up and set her on the desk, inserting my hips between her legs and pulling her flush with me. I brush my mouth across her hairline. “What do you mean, you don’t need my Bliss secrets?” I mumble against her smooth skin.

  Her hands go still on my chest, where she’s unbuttoned my coat and shirt and worked her palms against my skin. “You were right.” She runs her hands over my abs. “I shouldn’t have asked you to talk about something confidential.”

  I grab her ass and press her to me. She moans and I nip her earlobe. It’s all fun and games until Hayden agrees with me. Then I know I’m in trouble.

  “Hayden,” I say. “What are you not telling me?”

  Her body stiffens and she tries to pull away, but I wrap her arms around my neck where they stay, though I’m not holding them in place anymore. Her golden-brown eyes regain their focus and she sighs. “Nothing. Just that you have your secrets and I have mine.”

  “Secrets.” My tone is flat. “About Bliss?”

  She plays with the collar of my shirt and bites the inside of her lip, her eyes not meeting mine. “Maybe.” At my frown, she hurries on. “We both have secrets when it comes to the suites, so we can forget about this no-sex rule.” She slides her hand down and flattens it against my erection.

  I let out a growl and step away, planting my fingers on my hips, the sides of my suit jacket pushed back. My body is on fire, but my mind is actually working for once. Because what she said has my anxiety level spiking.

  Snooping around Bliss activities won’t only get Hayden fired, it could get her harmed. Or worse. Blackwell put an obscene amount of money into Bliss. What would he be willing to do to silence her if she found something incriminating? What would the career criminals and ex-military he had me hire be willing to do? “I suggested we take things slow because I want something real with you, not something founded on lies.”

  “You’re right.” Hayden’s gaze wanders to the side. “I can’t believe you’re right, but you are. We don’t need more secrets between us.”

  Her hands drop to either side of her hips on the desk. “It’s not really a secret. I’m sure you heard that Mira and Tyler found a Blue suite used to distribute illegal drugs a few months ago.”

  “What? No. Tyler never said anything.”

  Paul mentioned an earlier version of Bliss, which must have been the suite Mira and Tyler found.

  She takes in my expression. “I’m sorry. I thought Tyler said something. I should have brought it up earlier. What do you guys talk about in your spare time if not things like this?”

  Beer. Women. Sports. “Usually nothing important.”

  She purses her lips together, gaze thoughtful. “You know, you also weren’t working at Blue then. Tyler might not have thought to mention it. We weren’t sure what was going on. We sort of lost the suite. That’s what I’ve been looking for and why I’ve been interested in Bliss. Your friends and I don’t believe everything ended with Drake’s removal. Those files you had the facility manager relocate were the first real lead I had to take to the police.”

  The corner of her mouth twists down, as though it were my fault that she lost the paper trail. Which it absolutely was. I had the facility manager move the files somewhere Hayden wouldn’t find them, because it’s safer if she doesn’t know any more than she already does about Bliss.

  “Each of us has been touched in some way by Blackwell and his Blue Stars. I was never assaulted, but I’ve been used as a pawn by Blackwell while he works around the system. He’s criticized me, devalued my position in front of our peers, and threatened me should I look into those you’ve hired. He’s horrible and he’s running this place and the Bliss suites. They won’t let me in one of them to look around, but I’m certain that’s where they’ve relocated the drug operation.”

  “Threatened you?” My tone is dark.

  She waves me off. “Over your new hires. He wanted me to stay out of it—said I wouldn’t like the consequences if I didn’t.”

  I force out a sigh. “Then why would you dare go against him?”

  Her face turns red. “Because he’s a bully! I won’t—I refuse to let someone do that to me again. He has no right! How can you be involved in Bliss, knowing what he’s using it for?”

  “I didn’t know about it until they promoted me. At least, not the full extent.”

  “But you know now. Why aren’t you doing something?”

  “I never said I wasn’t doing anything. I said it isn’t safe for you to be involved.”

  “But it’s safe for you?”

  I don’t answer, because she’s right. It’s not. But I’m in it and she isn’t. As far as Blackwell is concerned, Hayden doesn’t know anything. If she starts waving red flags, that won’t last long. “You need to stop, Hayden. You can’t go up against our CEO. I’ve been around men like him my entire life. He’s powerful.”

  She hops off the desk and crosses her arms. “Finding evidence of what he’s up to is the right thing to do. I’m not running from this.”

  I settle my hands on her shoulders. “There’s nothing wrong with running if it keeps you sa
fe.”

  She steps to the side and glares. “Yes, there is!”

  “This isn’t about some punks throwing rocks,” I say, my voice rising.

  She stares like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Those punks nearly killed me.”

  I rub my forehead. “I’m not trying to lessen what happened. It’s just—This is different. If you keep pushing, you’ll be hit with much worse than rocks.” I gentle my voice, because I need for her to listen. “Whatever you’re thinking about doing? Don’t. Just give me time, Hayden. You said that you would.”

  “To do what? Get yourself put in prison? I care about you.” Her voice quavers and her eyes grow watery. “But if I find something—even if it involves you—I’m taking it to the police.”

  “You think I’d willingly be a part of this?”

  “Aren’t you? You accepted the ring. And you’re involved in the Bliss suites.” She steps forward and hits my chest with the side of her fist. Not hard, but laden with frustration. “Why, Adam? Why the hell did you do it?”

  I capture her fist in both of mine. “The simple answer is, because my father ordered me to work at Blue. That Blackwell brought me into his…exclusive group…was coincidental. The ring means nothing.”

  “It’s symbolic.” She shakes her head. “Do you do everything your father says?”

  “Historically? Yes.”

  Her chin wobbles and her voice softens. “Well, maybe it’s time you didn’t. You can walk away.”

  I glance past her out the window, barely seeing the mountains and lake. “No. I can’t.” My gaze tracks back to hers. “I’m serious when I say you need to stay out of this.”

  She pulls away and grabs her purse.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Out.” She doesn’t look back as she heads for the door. “Don’t wait up.”

  * * *

  I return to my house, which feels like a shell of a place. How have I lived here for so long without feeling lonely?

  Right. I did. I just never knew the difference until I started seeing Hayden. I filled the void with shallow women, nice cars, and trips to Ibiza. Now I don’t give a damn about any of that. I just want tonight to be over with so that I can make things up to Hayden.