Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  All the while my mind rioted. If Marv and I were going to be friends, and if I did as he asked—if I joined Iris—we inevitably would. I liked him. I liked the idea that he represented. He was only a few years older than me, and already I could see in him what I couldn't in Josh. Friendship. Promises that would be kept. A chance to get out of this house.

  "Invite your friend over, darling," Teddi ordered, taking her hand back as her eyes strayed away—her mind likely turning over various ways to get what she wanted. "I expect that he'll come. Make sure his father is invited."

  I watched as she sashayed out of the study before turning and placing both of my palms down on the French, white wood of the desk. What was I going to do? I could put her off this week. Maybe even next week. Hell, I was good enough I could probably put her off for a long while. But I knew that look in her eyes. It was the same look she had the first time my father had attempted to leave her. She was on the hunt. Either for a new husband or for a lover who’d lavish her with gifts and money, I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't let my family fuck up Marv's.

  The phone in my pocket rang and it felt like eons before I finally managed to reach into my slacks and pull it out. "Grayson."

  "Hey, man. Did you think it over?" Marv's voice rolled over the receiver, cheery, upbeat.

  Shit. I coughed to alleviate the sudden dryness in my throat. "Yeah," I said, moving swiftly around the desk and taking a seat in the chair directly behind it. I swiveled around, my gaze finding the windows.

  The back lawn of the Vandersen-Caruso mansion was immaculate. A bubbling brook in the distance surrounded by tall cherry blossom trees, flown in from somewhere in Japan. There was a rose garden to the left where Teddi would often host tea parties. Though, that, too, had changed. Why? I thought to myself. Why the fuck would he do this to us? To me? It wasn't fucking fair. I shouldn’t be the one dealing with her. It should be my father.

  "And? What's your answer?" Marv's question drew me out of my musings, making me realize that I had gone silent for several moments.

  I contemplated briefly how to approach this. I couldn't let him know the real reason why I couldn't join Iris, why I couldn’t be his friend. But it had to be something believable. Something that would stick with him. Something that would keep him from looking further into this. My gaze moved to the door that Teddi had exited just minutes before. She could control a lot of things, but she couldn’t control Marv. I knew that. If at all possible, I had to keep him as far away from me as possible. I glanced down at the surface of the desk—my father's desk—some father he was. There, on the surface, were the acceptance letters to a private school across the country. Jacques Morris Academy. I fingered the edges, hissing when I slit the pad of my thumb on the edge of one. Pulling the hurt digit away, I put it in my mouth, and tasted copper on my tongue.

  "Grayson, are you still there?"

  Fuck. I had done it again. I sat up straighter. "I'm here." I squeezed my eyes closed, blocking out the image of the back lawn and all of the beautiful things there. I didn't need to see what I was selling my soul for. What I was saving him from wasn't beautiful. It was cruel. It was a woman who would use her connections—her own son—to remain in a position of luxury and envy. Without Rodrick Caruso, she was just a failed trophy wife.

  And just like that, it hit me. I knew exactly what to do to drive him away. I leaned my head back into the chair, opening my eyes and feeling my fucking soul sink into the depths of my chest. "I can't accept your offer," I spat the last word venomously.

  "What? Why?" Marv sounded surprised, as though he were already counting on my acceptance. If I were anyone else—had I been something other than a Caruso or a Vandersen—I would have. But I needed to keep him the fuck away from my shit, from my personal she-demon.

  "Because I don't want to be connected to the son of a—" I choked on the word cheater.

  "Son of a what?" Marv's voice went low and dark. "What the hell, Grayson?"

  I swallowed. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?" God, I was lying through my fucking teeth. “I know,” I lied, “that your father has been fucking my mother. Yeah, Marv—" I sneered his name. “I know.”

  "What the fuck are you talking about, man?"

  "Oh, were you unaware?" I focused on one of the gardeners trimming hedges at the very back of the property. From my vantage point, he was a mere, blurry blip several yards in the distance. "Yeah, Marv, the great Anthony Carter is banging a Vandersen. I have to wonder if that's not the real reason they divorced." Teddi would be outraged to hear me talk about the divorce, but it wasn't like Marv—and half the city—didn't already know.

  I listened as Marv drew in a shaky breath. "Listen, man. You're upset. I can promise you, my dad wouldn't do anything like that. I don't know what you heard, but—"

  "I saw them together." The lie popped out of my mouth before I knew it. My breath shuddered out of my chest and I had to cover the lower half of the phone to keep him from hearing it.

  "What?"

  Too late. It was already too late. "Yeah," I said. "Walked in on them. So, don't you tell me what I do and don't know. Why don't you stick to your own family drama and leave me the fuck out of it."

  There was a brief moment of silence before, “You're a goddamn fucking liar, Caruso. But I fucking get it. I'm out. Don't call me again. Stay in your own snake pit for all I care.” The dial tone echoed in my ear. I slowly lowered the phone and let it slip from my fingertips. He had no clue how close he was. Snake pit. That's exactly what this goddamn place was. There was no way in hell I'd ever get out.

  My eyes fell on the brochure and papers for Jacques Morris Academy once more. There would only be more of the same if I went there. No way. I wasn't transferring out of Northwoods Academy only to end up in a place halfway across the country with the same people. But I did need to get the fuck out. I needed a place that was mine. Somewhere normal. Somewhere that I could hide in plain sight.

  Public school. That was it. Teddi would hate it. But this was it. This was my choice. With the divorce finalized, if she wanted me to stay with her, she would agree to it or I was out, completely and wholly. I knew she wanted to keep me under her thumb. Josh was too fucked up to care what she said or did. He was of no use to her. But me—she could still use me. And this would be her payment. Three more years of this shit, then I was out. Out of her house. Out from under her thumb. And out from under the fucking Vandersen-Caruso name.

  Or so I could only hope. For now, though… I pull out the card that Marv had given me, fingering the edges. Iris. Less than two weeks consideration and, already, I had ruined it. Less than a month in Iris and just on the cusp of being accepted fully, it was gone—snatched from my fingers just as they tried to close around it.

  What had I just thrown away to protect an almost friend?

  Chapter 1

  I came awake as a door opened and the BMW began to ding repeatedly, letting whoever had opened the door know that the car was still running. With blurry vision, I rose up on my forearms and looked through the front windows.

  "This is Alex's house?" My voice came out as more of a croak—guttural and definitely still sleepy.

  Bellamy glanced back at me over his shoulder from the front passenger seat. "It's just his mountain retreat. Usually, he rents it out but when anyone in Iris needs it he lends it to us as well."

  "What are we doing here?" I asked, stifling a yawn. "I thought we were going to his house. I want to get this meeting done with sooner rather than later, so we can head out to find Erika."

  "Alex is staying the weekend up here," Bellamy replied, "and we all felt like it would be better to meet Grayson on neutral territory. Since Erika and Josh’s disappearance involves him too, we have to take precautions." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Neutral territory made them sound like such alpha animals. Bellamy frowned at me as my yawn finally got the better of me and escaped. "Are you okay?" he asked. "It wasn't that long of a drive, but you fell asleep less than a half ho
ur in."

  I scratched my arm and sat up fully. "I'm fine," I replied, "just tired. I feel like I haven’t gotten good sleep since we got back. I just want to sleep in my own bed for a change."

  When I reached for the back door, he stopped me. "No, wait," he cautioned. "We're waiting for Marv's go ahead."

  "His go ahead? Why? Is something wrong out here?" I glanced out through the back windshield. "Are we being watched?" When I turned back around, Bellamy looked at me as though I were crazy. "What?" I demanded.

  "Where would you get an idea like that?" he asked, shocked. "We're not being watched. It's not like we're FBI or anything."

  "Well, Iris does like to stick their nose in places that a lot of people would be upset about," I said. Case in point, the last job we had finished a few weeks before: suicides, drugged girls, a vengeance mission. It had been hard and extremely taxing as well as heartbreaking. I couldn’t really say much about Iris poking its head into the business of others because I went along with it all. I even pushed to go on the damn mission.

  Bellamy sighed and then, up ahead, I saw that Marv was waiting on the front doorstep. The front door opened, and a dark-skinned woman smiled brightly, kissing him lightly on the cheek. My gut curdled—a cry from an emotion I didn’t want to name. Who was she?

  “Ah, looks like we’re good, let’s go,” Bellamy said.

  I opened the back door and got out, frowning as I moved towards the wooden steps leading up to the house. It was a light, sunshine yellow with bright, pristine white trimmed windows to either side of the front door and a double window above. Marv held out his hand for mine and I took it, eyeing the woman as I ascended the stairs with Bellamy at my back.

  “The others are almost here,” Marv said, directing the statement to Bellamy.

  “Are you staying for the weekend?” the unknown woman asked. I narrowed my gaze on her but didn’t respond. The truth was, I had no clue what the plan was. All I had been told was that we were going to see Alex. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and I cursed my lack of attention.

  “Not sure yet, Clarissa,” Marv said. “You know Alex and Knix get the ultimate say so. We prepared for it. Our stuff is in the car, but we’re going to leave it there until after he and Texas get here with Caruso.”

  I blinked, directing my gaze to Marv in confusion. I certainly hadn’t packed anything. Hence, why I was so shocked to be here. They must have packed for me. Familiar irritation welled in me. Being left out of the loop was getting old fast. When we met with Alex as a team, I was going to make that known.

  Clarissa let us into the foyer, closing the door behind us as we slipped our shoes off and placed them into the rack next to the stairwell. “Why don’t you three go out onto the patio,” she called as she walked further into the house. “I just made some fresh lemonade. I’ll grab it and bring it out for you.”

  “Do you have anything to eat?” Bellamy called back, following after her.

  Marv still clutched my hand and I stared at the floor. Neither of us moved towards wherever the patio was.

  “We can meet them out on the patio later,” he finally said, tugging me behind him, up the stairs. I was silent as I followed behind. He glanced over his shoulder once, as if determining if I was willing. Whatever he saw in my face must have assured him because he kept going.

  On the second floor of the house was an open space with several doors. The open space was large enough to be a room itself. Someone had placed a dark, decorative, wood desk against a corner wall with a cushioned seat and books with unbroken spines on top. Marv headed for the door that was the furthest away from the opening of the stairwell. He opened it and peeked his head in before pulling me through. A double wide bed was pushed up against a double window and soft blue curtains that matched the bed’s comforter hung on either side.

  Marv let go of my hand and marched to the bed. He flipped back the top cover and pointed. “Get in.” I was really still too tired to argue with him. He must have seen it. I walked up to him and looked at him for a moment before crawling onto the bed. It was the softest mattress I had ever felt. Softer, even, than my own mattress at the guys’ house. I swallowed a low moan as I laid down and Marv tucked the comforter around my shoulders.

  “Do not cut me out of the meeting,” I said as he stood up. Marv’s dark, tornado eyes gazed down at me. “Please?” I didn’t want to beg, but I was truly scared that they wouldn’t wake me up. Maybe I shouldn’t be going to sleep in a stranger’s house in the first place. I started to sit up, but Marv stopped me.

  “We won’t,” he promised. He bent down and kissed my forehead before dipping even further, brushing his lips across mine. I sucked in a surprised breath. Since our talk, they had all kept their distance. It had only been a week or so, but still…My lashes fluttered as he pulled away. I bit my lip, fighting not to drag him back and put my mouth on his. “I’ll wake you up when Caruso gets here. You’ve only got an hour or two at most anyway.” I nodded and then laid back down as he went to the door and quietly slipped out. I turned away and closed my eyes, quickly drifting back to sleep.

  When I woke, the sun was still high in the sky and no one had come to retrieve me. So, I walked down to the first floor, only encountering Clarissa as she busied herself in the kitchen. She smiled warmly my way. Awkwardly, I moved into the kitchen and glanced around, but none of the guys were with her.

  “If you’re looking for them,” Clarissa said, answering my unspoken question, “Marv is outside with Knix, Alex, and Bellamy. Texas is upstairs with Grayson.”

  A small smile stretched my lips. “Thanks,” I said. I backtracked towards the stairs once more, guilt churning in my gut as I thought about the jealous thoughts that had spun through my mind earlier. It was obvious Clarissa was familiar with the guys, but if she was staying in Alex’s house...then her relationship was probably with him. I shook my head and sighed as I made my way up the staircase.

  It didn't take long to find Texas and Grayson. Both were sequestered in a small shoebox of a room upstairs not far from the guest bedroom I had napped in. At least, I hoped it was a guest bedroom. It would have felt weird sleeping in someone else's bed. Hearing their low toned voices, I knocked quietly on the door and let myself in. Texas smiled when he saw me, and Grayson turned his head. I stopped. I hadn't realized how much he would have changed in the few weeks since I had last seen him in the dance club Erika had dragged me to.

  Since the last time I saw him, Grayson had filled out even more. As a high school football jock, he had been slender but built. Made for speed more than defense. He had been the quarterback, I thought. But now, he was much wider, built for strength more than speed. His hair had been cut shorter, closer to his scalp, and there was a light dusting of a beard coming in on his jaw. Like a five o’ clock shadow, except it was mid-day, and that shadow was darker than a mere day of no shaving.

  "Hey, Princess," Texas called to me.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” I asked, smiling and peeking at the laptop he had propped on his lap.

  “I’m just—” His answer was cut off as Knix’s deep baritone echoed up from the bottom of the staircase. Grayson glanced towards the open door and stood up, heading for the call. Texas and I exchanged a glance—one that I couldn’t quite read—and followed after him.

  “Meeting’s starting,” Knix said solemnly as we descended the staircase. Up. Down. Up. Down. Me and those staircases were getting well acquainted. I sighed as we reached the living room.

  It was a decent-sized, quaint little room with wood flooring that neither creaked nor groaned despite how old the house appeared from the outside. Texas and Grayson moved across the room—Texas to the couch and Grayson to his own chair. Bellamy and Marv were already waiting. Clarissa came out with sandwiches and chips for all of us. Alex took position at the front of the room as we got our food, thanking her gently as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. I eyeballed them curiously. I hadn’t known Alex was dating anyone seriously. But the guys seemed to recognize
her and were comfortable around her, so I supposed I was, perhaps, the only one who hadn’t known. I scarfed mine down so that we could hurry this process along. I wanted to know what we were going to do about Erika.

  Grayson was chomping at the bit to get ready as well. Before Alex could speak, Grayson leaned forward, crumpling his bag of chips and setting it down on the coffee table. "So, what are we doing?" he asked. “What’s the plan?” All eyes turned toward him—Marv with irritation, Alex and Texas and Knix with patience, and Bellamy with an unreadable mask. I watched him as we waited for the answer. Alex and Grayson made eye contact and held their gaze for several tense moments.

  Lifting a brow at their silence, I sighed heavily and finally glanced away, only to drag my gaze back. Curiosity killed the cat and all, but curiosity was only natural when watching Grayson do anything. Working with Alex, I could say for sure I’d never seen him do that. But I had seen him throw out an unruly customer a time or two. I waited to see what he would do or say.

  Finally, Alex sighed and turned his gaze towards the rest of the group. "The plan, right now, is to send a few of you to the campus to find out where Erika was last seen, if anyone knew her plans, if she confided in anyone. She was there for two months before she disappeared. Someone has to know something and you’re going to find out what."

  I sat up straighter. "Who’s going?" I asked sharply. Alex met my gaze the same way he did Grayson's, with patience as well as authority.

  "Don't worry, Harlow, you're going." I relaxed only marginally. There was a deeply rooted anxiety about this case. I hadn’t been left behind in previous missions, but in the back of my mind, there was a fear that I’d wake up the next day and find that I’d been left behind—either because they decided that I was too close or that it was too dangerous. Now, I needed to know who was going with me. I gripped the cushions of the couch and waited for the information that felt like it was taking forever to come out.