Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  "No, that's not it," I continued. "He practically said that after he and Marv had that falling out, he was cut off from Iris. Before, he was supposed to be in it though, right?"

  The light turned green and the car rolled forward. "According to his file, he withdrew his interest among other things," Knix admitted.

  I blinked. "There are files?" Tilting my head to the side, I squinted in his direction. "Is there one on me? Can I see it?" Knix's lips quirked as he turned down another street. I sighed. "Right, never mind." That wasn't the point. "The point is," I said, “I’m pretty sure Grayson never actually lost interest. His withdrawal is because of whatever happened with Marv. And that's not really grounds for him being eliminated as a possibility, is it?" I still wasn't a hundred percent sure. I had been given information, but it wasn't like I could pull up everything I had learned about Iris at the drop of a hat.

  "No, but things have changed," Knix reminded me. "Grayson has changed. Does he even want to be in Iris? Did you ask him?"

  "I didn't say he wanted to be in Iris," I replied. "I said he needed Iris, there's a difference." As the SUV turned down the street the duplex was on, I knew we were running out of time. I flipped on my side, facing Knix with my seatbelt tight across my arm. "Please, Knix, at least think about it. Bring it up to Alex? I think that Grayson is alone and that's why he's trying so hard to help his brother, but Josh isn't there for him. Grayson doesn't really have anyone. I had Erika and my mom, but you still came for me."

  "That's different. Erika is your friend and she certainly didn't know how bad off you were. Your mother was and still is incapable of helping you with anything. She has to be looked after 24/7."

  "But you still came for me, even though you didn't need to."

  "You were already in our periphery," Knix said. "You were about to be approached by Alex anyway."

  I opened my mouth to argue further, but he pulled into the driveway just behind Grayson's sedan and held up a hand. "Hold up, before you jump on me," he said. "I’m not saying no.” I sat back and waited as he continued. “If you can keep this to yourself, I’ll contact Alex and see what he says."

  I grinned. "Thank you, Knix. You won't regret it." I hoped not, anyway.

  He stared at me. "Harlow?"

  "Yes?" I held my breath.

  "If Alex agrees, then you can consider how Grayson acts from this point onward in this investigation part of his interview process. You cannot let him know anything, do you understand?"

  I nodded excitedly.

  "That doesn't mean he will be accepted—if he even wants to be accepted," Knix said seriously.

  "I understand. Just as long as he has a chance."

  Knix sighed. "If a chance is what you want to give him, then let him earn it." Knix got out of the car, and I unbuckled my seatbelt before scrambling out as well. Something else was bothering me, though. Something else I needed to tell him—well, really, that I needed to tell everyone.

  "Knix," I called out just before he reached the porch.

  When he turned and quirked a brow, my stomach sank a little. "There’s one more thing," I admitted nervously. "I just wanted you to know that um...well, we're all being honest with each other, right?" He nodded with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. I hoped he wouldn't be nearly as upset as I knew Marv would be. "And you know about what happened between me and Bellamy?" I asked.

  Knix turned fully to face me. "Is this about what went down at Ms. Enders' Camp?" he asked.

  "Not exactly, but I knew I needed to tell you about that." I looked to the ground and dug the toe of my shoe into the concrete.

  "Little Bit," Knix stepped closer and tucked his fingers under my chin again, lifting my gaze to meet his once more, "you can tell me anything."

  God, I hoped he was right. "I kissed Grayson tonight."

  His fingers fell away and if the surprise on his face was anything to go by, I knew he definitely hadn't been expecting me to drop that bomb. "You...kissed Grayson?"

  I nodded and then took a breath. "I'm not..." I swallowed, my throat suddenly bone-dry. "It wasn't..." I closed my eyes. "I don't regret it," I said quickly. "I don't regret kissing him, just like I don't regret kissing you, or Bellamy, or Marv, or Texas. You all mean so much to me and I feel like you should be mad at me because I keep kissing you and your friends—well, except for Grayson—but—"

  "Is that why you want him in Iris?" The hard tone of Knix's voice made me keep my eyes shut and I turned my head to the side. "Do you..." It sounded like it was hard for him to say whatever he was trying to say. Out of instinct, I peeked my eyes open. That surprised expression was still on his face, but more importantly...he looked scared.

  I opened my eyes all the way and stepped towards him. "Knix?"

  He shook his head and kept me away with a raised palm. "Just tell me something, Harlow." I stood completely still, heart racing, breath stuttering. "Do you care about him more than you do us? Would you rather start a team with him?"

  I exhaled on a rush of relief. That was what he was worried about? I shook my head once again. "Of course not," I said. I cared about them all equally...even Grayson, though I suspected even the marginal amount of care would seem like entire mountains for someone who seemed so starved of it.

  Knix sighed, too. "Just as long as I still have a shot, Little Bit," he said. "I find that I can't help wondering when, one day, you'll give me up."

  I frowned, confused. "Give you up?"

  Knix smiled, but it was sad—it didn't quite meet his eyes. There was no crinkling in the corners, and no twitching of his lips. It was so unlike him that it startled me.

  "I know we haven't been exactly fair with you," he said, his hands clenching at his sides. "We're all tiptoeing on a line that I don't even know who drew. After this job is over, maybe it'll be time," he said.

  "Time?" My brows lowered. "Time for what?" When he raised his gaze to meet mine, my heart stopped.

  "Time for you to choose," he said. “Whether or not you’ll stick with Iris full time or not.”

  Chapter 13

  I’m making a mistake.”

  “No, you’re going to be fine.”

  “Nope. I’m most definitely making a mistake. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t even be considering this. I mean me? With four guys? It’s just not possible.”

  “Well technically, it’s five guys if what you told me about Grayson and you determines anything more,” Lizzie pointed out.

  Yes, I had told her. Was I regretting it? Not yet. But I had a sick churning feeling in my gut. I could feel the sweat sliding down my spine. Was it normally so hot in South Carolina? Probably. Maybe. I had been a little more preoccupied with other things than the state’s weather report, though, so who would really know? A weatherman probably. But not me. Definitely not me.

  “You’re freaking out,” Lizzie said.

  DUH! State the obvious much? Jesus, I needed to chill out. I paced one way across the front of Chipley Hall, turned, and paced back. “Of course I’m freaking out,” I said. “Wouldn’t you be?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t be nearly sleeping with five guys, soooooo…” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow and pointedly trailed off.

  “I haven’t even slept with any of them,” I muttered.

  “Which is severely confusing to my Marvin-Gaye-get-it-on brain,” Lizzie replied. “You need to get laid.”

  I rolled my eyes and paced away.

  “Okay look,” she said hopping down off the patio railing. “Maybe you just need to sit down and talk with all of them.”

  “Oh yeah, that’ll go great,” I snapped. “Marv will only be at Grayson’s throat the minute I tell everyone what happened. Knix will still expect me to choose. Texas might be hurt and Bellamy…Bellamy will…” Fuck, I didn’t know. I had no clue what Bellamy would do. I stopped and pushed the heels of my palms to my eyes. I was out of my mind to think this could ever have worked. This was it, I was out of Iris. I had found my people, my group, and I was out all over somethi
ng stupid. I should’ve just stopped.

  I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed harder, as though I could erase all of my stupid actions. “I should never have kissed any of them back,” I muttered aloud.

  “But you can’t change the fact that you did,” Lizzie pointed out.

  “Well, if you’re going to use logic,” I said, “maybe you could use it to help me out of this situation.”

  Lizzie grimaced. “If I could, I would.” My phone buzzed in my pocket. I froze. Lizzie sighed and moved towards me, putting her hand slowly in my pocket to retrieve it. “It’s not going to bite you,” she said, holding it out to me.

  “It’s them,” I replied with a grimace, staring at the phone, waiting for it to turn into a snake and bite me on the ass in some weird twisted kind of karma revenge plot.

  She continued to hold the phone out to me, quirking a brow. “You have to talk to them sometime, Harlow.”

  I knew that. We weren’t at Lander to explore ourselves and have fun and learn new things like Lizzie. We were here for Erika and we still had a job to do. The phone buzzed again, and I groaned, snatching it from her hand. Gulping down a nervous breath, I swiped the green button and put the phone to my ear.

  “Hello?” I said as Lizzie leaned back against one of the railings. I stared at where the white rails met the red brick of the column.

  "Why do you sound out of breath?" Bellamy asked.

  "Um, pacing?" I replied, the answer sounding more like a question as my gaze flicked to Lizzie's face. She smacked her forehead dramatically and scrubbed a hand down her face.

  "Pacing?" Bellamy repeated. "Are you okay?"

  "Yes?" I winced at the squeak in my voice.

  "You don't sound okay. Where are you? What happened?" The worry in his tone just made me feel even worse.

  "It's fine, I'm fine," I said quickly. "I'm sure you called for a reason."

  "Uh, yeah. We need you to skip your classes and meet at the house," he said.

  "Yep. Sure. Can and will do. No problem. I can be there soon." Lizzie's eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up. I ended the call before he could say anything more.

  “What did he say? Where are you going?” Lizzie asked.

  “I have to go meet the guys.” My phone buzzed with an incoming call, but I didn’t recognize the number—it certainly wasn’t any of the guys or Grayson. I ignored it and turned back to Lizzie as she moved away from the railing.

  “Did they tell you what for?” she asked

  I shook my head, but I knew that it probably had something to do with Erika and Josh and H. B. Holdings. I needed to put my own anxiety and stress aside about my would-be relationships and focus on the matter at hand—finding Erika and making sure she didn’t sign her life away to clear Josh’s debt. I shuddered at the thought.

  “I’ll see you later,” I said, swinging around the brick column and white railing of the front patio-porch of Chipley Hall.

  “You’ll have to tell me everything!” I winced. I doubted I’d be able to tell her everything, but I waved behind me anyway in non-answer.

  I got to the duplex half expecting that all of the guys, plus Josh, would be there waiting on me. And I was mostly right. When I got through the front door, everyone was there, minus Josh and Knix. I looked around curiously.

  “Knix is with Josh.” Bellamy rose from the chair across the room and answered my unspoken question. “They’re talking with Alex about whether or not Josh should go back to Charleston.”

  “Alex is here?” I stepped around the side and looked down the hallway. I could hear voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  Marv moved forward, a hand on my arm and pulled me away from the mouth of the hallway. “They’re on a video call,” he said. “But we’ve already talked to Alex about what we should do about Erika and H. B. Holdings.”

  He fell quiet and four sets of eyes were on me—Marv’s, Bellamy’s, Texas’, and Grayson’s. I blinked, realizing that Grayson was quietly sitting on the couch next to Texas. Pulling my gaze away, I looked up at Marv and prompted him. “And? What’s the verdict?”

  “We can’t come to an agreement,” Bellamy admitted for him.

  I turned away from Marv, feeling his hand drop away from my arm. “So, we don’t know anything more? Why are they in there discussing whether or not Josh should get to go home then?” Frustrated anger rose within me. “It’s not fair. This is his fault. Why does he just get to leave and let us clean up his mess?”

  I didn’t realize how brutal that must have sounded until Grayson flinched. I bit my lip. “I’m sorry,” I said almost as quickly. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

  Grayson avoided my gaze, his head shifted to the side, and his eyes skirted away as he stood and shrugged. “There’s nothing to apologize for if it’s the truth,” he said.

  Even Marv was looking at Grayson curiously. The usual rage and burning distrust was muted. What was it with him? Ever since we left the rehab facility last night, he had been acting strange. Quiet. Reserved. Less smartass-y—if that was even a word. I frowned, my brows drawing low as I advanced, slowly, towards him.

  “That didn’t mean I wasn’t being rude,” I said, “and I’m sorry for that.”

  Grayson shrugged once more and strode towards the front windows. When he got there, he paused, lifting a hand and moving the curtains to the side so he could peek out onto the street. “Alex said that it’s a little more difficult to get the police involved. We wouldn’t be allowed to continue our investigation, probably.”

  “He didn’t say that exactly,” Texas piped up in a rush. “That we wouldn’t be allowed to, but…uh…yeah, he did talk to a contact in the police department in Charleston.”

  Grayson remained at the window, face placid and eyes shrouded in darkness.

  “In Charleston?” I shook my head and looked back at Texas.

  He nodded. “Yeah, there’s an issue with getting them involved because there’s no evidence.”

  “And a bunch of relative civilians claiming what they already know but haven’t been able to make stick is just going to frustrate them further,” Grayson muttered.

  “Alex did manage to find out more information and Knix and I have been working with Josh, trying to establish a dialogue with Josh’s contact in H. B. Holdings, hoping to give them the illusion that Josh might be able to actually pay back his debt,” Bellamy said, distracting me from Grayson’s words once again.

  I felt like I was being pulled in several different directions and I wondered—a fleeting thought that held a lot of weight and meaning—would it be any different if I didn’t choose someone?

  “Apparently, Josh managed to wheedle some more information about what might happen to Erika if he doesn’t make the payment,” Marv continued where Bellamy left off. “They don’t start the girls out in,” he paused, his lips curling in distaste, “adult movies.”

  “Wait.” I held up a palm before letting it fall after I had their attention. “Are you saying he actually made contact with someone again? And they talked to them?” I jerked my head to each of them. “Well?” I demanded when no one answered immediately. “Did he get to talk to Erika? Did any of you hear from her? Is she okay?”

  Bellamy shook his head and moved towards me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. He kneaded the muscles—but no matter how magical his hands, the tension would not alleviate. “We couldn’t speak with them. Josh had to talk alone, and no they didn’t let him speak with her. We had him ask. I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

  I deflated. Blinking back tears, I clenched my fists at my sides. “It’s… not your fault,” I said. “Just tell me what else.”

  “They start their girls gently, but since Josh’s—and therefore, Erika’s—debt is so steep, they’re going to want her to sign a contract of employment. For all intents and purposes, it’ll be legit. It’ll be legal. But gaining her signature of consent is the main issue. If Erika refuses to sign the contract, they could try to pus
h her to other people or try to sell her ‘debt’ to even the score.” Bellamy’s hands fell away slowly—the tips of his fingers trailing down my arms and making the baby hairs there stand on end.

  “We’re not any closer to finding out where she is, are we?” My voice croaked, stopping and cracking at the end. I was desperate. I felt like we were declining—not only the guys and me, but this mission too. This was more than just finding a thief or derailing a revenge plot. This was about Erika—my best friend. The girl who had held my hand when I quit gymnastics and had still remained my best friend throughout high school even though I could never do the things she wanted to do—couldn’t go out shopping, to the movies, or have regular sleepovers. I couldn’t even afford to go to prom, but she hadn’t cared. She’d been my friend no matter how old my clothes were or how much I slept in class or…I couldn’t leave her to this.

  “Well, not exactly,” Texas said. “Alex’s police contact knows that there is an informant on the inside that they’ve been working with—a mole that got made ages ago. He’s only double crossing to save his own skin for immunity or something when they finally do manage to get this into court.”

  “They haven’t managed to get anything he gave them to stick so far,” Grayson snapped, turning away from the window to glare at Texas. “Don’t give her false hope.”

  “The informant could help us,” Texas argued, brown eyes narrowing.

  Shaking his head, Grayson stepped up to the middle of the living room where Texas stood to meet him. They remained motionless for several moments, eyes crackling with energy before Grayson huffed out a breath and shoved a hand through the short strands of his hair. “Maybe I should just pay the damn debt and we get Erika back. Leave the rest to solve itself,” Grayson snarled as if he didn’t particularly care for that idea and scrubbed the hand on top of his head down his face.

  “No,” Marv said, folding his arms over his chest, “we’re not doing that.”

  Grayson turned to him. “No? Well, then do you have a better plan? The girl’s in danger, isn’t she? Shouldn’t we fucking do something about it? What about if we pay off the debt and use that as evidence?”