Fortitude (Heart of Stone)

by D H Sidebottom

  “Turn right at the end,” Liam spoke proficiently, “Then sharp left into Larth view Drive, there’s a gap leading to a dirt track between houses numbered five and seven.”

  “Got it.”

  We ploughed around each corner, Grace controlling the car expertly as I clung to the seat with both hands. My phone was bouncing in my bag and I bent to retrieve it, rolling my eyes when Steed’s number popped up. “Not now,” I told him as I answered.

  “Tell Grace we have a duplicate car waiting for you on the dirt track.” He barked at me. “Turn into the garage left of the dirt track as soon as you turn on to it.”

  I repeated everything to Grace as she manoeuvred the car between the two houses. Gravel spun up behind us as our speed caused the car to drift. Another silver Mercedes shot out from the right hand side of the track as we pulled into the garage on the left.

  The doors clanged shut behind us making me jump. “You okay?” Grace asked immediately as she poked the bump surfacing on my temple.

  I nodded to her, “Any idea?”

  “Nope,” she huffed but narrowed her eyes.

  “Don’t lie to me Grace.”

  She sighed and turned to me. “Steed was followed a few weeks ago. We intercepted a… parcel that was due for delivery to you and…”

  “And?” I urged when she sighed and paused.

  “And Mason received some rather… intimate pictures of you and…”

  “Oh God,” my eyes widened on her as panic cramped my stomach.

  “Yeah, of you and Steed kissing in the Panther’s corridor.”

  I breathed out silently, the pit of my stomach loosening slightly. “And that’s all?”

  She nodded as she climbed from the car then turned to me and tilted her head questioningly. “Should there be more that I need to know?”

  “No,” I defended a little too quickly. “It was just a kiss for god’s sake.”

  Her eyes flicked over every inch of my face before she sighed. “You do know that I used to interrogate for the bureau, Ava?”

  I gave her a nod as I climbed as casually as possible from the car.

  “And I can tell a lie from a truth.”

  “Don’t be silly,” I scoffed. “Why would I lie?”

  Her brow quirked, “Because of your husband by any chance?”

  “Why the hell won’t people realise that Mason and I are separated and free to do as we please? It was just a kiss,” I reiterated. “No big deal.”

  “Okay,” she smirked as she held her hands up and opened the replacement car door, snatching the keys from the sun visor before pulling out of the rear doors in the garage and holding a hand up to our assistant as he shut the doors behind us.

  She circled round and brought us back on our original course. “What the hell is it with people stalking me?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “Ava, you’re married to London’s most notorious. Expect it.”

  “I do, that’s the problem. But now I’m not sure if it frightens me more than ever.”

  She turned and smiled at me. “We’ll find whoever it is.”

  “It’s not that,” I sighed. “It scares me because now it just seems normal to me. It doesn’t frighten me any longer, and that in itself scares the fucking shit out of me.”

  ***

  My worst nightmare greeted me as I walked into the huge room. Masses of my friends swooped in at once, fiddling with my wig, prodding my fake breasts and commenting on how good I looked. Fucking hypocrites.

  Courtney rolled her eyes and thrust a large glass of vodka and cranberry in my hand. “Drink it!” she snarled as she nudged people aside to grant me a breather.

  “Fucking hell,” I scoffed after downing my drink and people got quickly bored with me. “Anyone would think I’d been cloned?”

  She spat out her drink and held her throat, “Shit, I bloody hope not.”

  I narrowed my eyes on her before she pulled me over to one of the main tables. The room had been set out rather like a wedding, each white individual table adorned with petals and numerous layers of cutlery, humungous vases of flowers decorated the centre of each as numerous bottles of champagne sat in silver buckets of ice. “Good God,” I whispered to Courtney. “It’s a bit OTT.”

  She nodded, “It is a little, never thought Layla would be into this.”

  We both found our seats, me squashing between her and Greg, Sam and Marcy with Liv and Nate opposite me. “What’s going on?” I asked Liv as we all peered at the table.

  “I’ve no idea, I was about to ask you.” She answered casually. “It’s a bit much for an anniversary.”

  I nodded, confirming her thoughts as all our group switched around until the men were on one side and the women on the other.

  “Much better,” Marcy smiled as she tucked her chair under the table beside me. “Can’t be doing with Sam’s drawl about how fucking hot the Amish girl in Banshee is all bloody night.” She rolled her eyes and huffed, “No tits, Ava, no bloody tits at all. What the hell is wrong with the man?”

  I laughed at her, god bless her openness and unfiltered conversation as everyone at our table nudged her and tipped their heads in my direction. I had missed them all and it wasn’t long before we were all quite drunk and laughing loudly.

  I noticed Steed watching me from across the room where he sat at his table with a few people I didn’t know. I could see the desire in his gaze, the need and want flashing through his eyes as his tongue rolled frequently across his lips.

  “Hungry?” I mouthed to him.

  He smirked at me, “You have no idea.”

  “Can I have your attention please,” Kade shouted as he rapped his champagne glass with a fork.

  I leant back in my seat and admired him. His lean body was handsome in his tux, his black sleek hair complimented perfectly with his choice of attire. It wasn’t until I ran my eyes back over him that I noticed the small carnation in his jacket pocket. “Why does he have a flower in his pocket?” I asked Courtney quietly as I leaned into her.

  She shrugged then turned her attention back to him.

  “Now as you know, we’ve all come here to celebrate Layla and Lucas’s wedding anniversary.”

  We all turned and cheered Lay and Lucas as he reached in and kissed her passionately, but then he dropped back into his chair and focussed on Kade again. I frowned at the strange formality, it was usual custom for the hosts to actually say something now.

  “However,” Kade continued. “We’ve all brought you here for something else tonight.”

  Everyone on my table turned to look at me. Each wore a huge smile and I started to blush. God damn it, they were gonna celebrate my survival.

  Shit, fuck, damn.

  “I’m gonna kill you” I hissed at Courtney as Kade carried on with his smarmy speech.

  He sighed and tipped his head. “I’ll hand you over to the man of the hour.” He said as he held out his hand to the rear doors.

  We all turned to see who it was.

  My heart stopped when Mason slipped through the doors, his fine body in an identical suit to Kade. His eyes snapped to mine immediately, he knew exactly where I was sat.

  I knew what was happening before anyone had murmured another word. “No,” I choked out as Mason walked across the room to me, his expression as nervous as his stance. He was chewing on his lower lip as he wrung his hands together, his mouth as tight as his jaw.

  I couldn’t move, shock and horror rendered me immobile. But I needed to move – quickly.

  I fell out of my chair, shaking my head at him, trying to stop him doing this but he reached me before my legs could carry me out of there.

  “Ava,” he whispered with a pained expression. He grabbed hold of my hands, his own clammy with sweat as his nerves battered him.

  “Mason, don’t…”

  I whimpered when he dropped to one knee before me, his eyes glassy as he looked at me.

  Everything stilled, even my breath as I squinted and studied hi
m. “My god,” I scoffed, “You’re fucking high.”

  “What?” His brows twisted as his throat bobbed.

  “You – are – fucking – high! Jesus Christ, Mason. You need to be high to do this?”

  “What? No...” He tried, his head shaking rapidly.

  “You know what?” I hissed as fury overwhelmed me. “I was actually going to say no, but there was a small part of me that hated myself for doing it, for hurting you. My soul needs you, my fucking heart pines for you and I haven’t caught a full breath for over six months. But here you are, once again relying on the white stuff to help you through. You don’t need me, you don’t need our marriage. After all…” I raged loudly, making sure each and every single person in the room could hear me. “Why would you need me when you have your fuck whore and coke? I’m a no-one compared to them.”

  I pulled out of his hold and snatched up my bag. “Go get high and fuck your whore. We are done!”

  I shrivelled in my skin as various gasps echoed around the room, several pairs of eyes followed me out but only one voice ricocheted off the walls.

  “AVA!”

  The doors closed behind me as I stepped out into the night air. A bright red Ferrari pulled up at the bottom of the hotel steps, the brakes squealing loudly.

  “I need to fuck and get high!” I told Steed when I climbed in and he pulled away.

  “I can grant the first but no way do you get the second.”

  “Then fuck you, take me home.”

  He shook his head but drove.

  I forgot about the coke when Steed tied me to his bed, removed the skin from my backside with his belt and fucked the anger right out of me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Regrets

  Mason

  She laughed when she fell off the bed and rolled across the rug until she came to rest against the dresser. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at me, her pretty brown eyes twinkling in delight.

  “You know,” she sighed as she rolled onto her back, her firm tits pointing straight up, a sign that she’d done a job on them. “It’s just you and me now, Mason.”

  I frowned at her as I reached over and lit the joint we’d both been sharing before we’d fucked. “Eh?”

  She leaned over and removed the smoke from me and took a long drag on it. “Us, just me and you. Who needs anyone else?” She crawled over to me and perched her elbows on the edge of the bed. “I always knew you would come back to me.”

  “Eh?”

  She laughed and nudged me, “Just how much have you had? I said I knew one day it would be me and you again, both of us together like it should have been.”

  I stared at her and cocked my head. “Bec, we’re not back together.”

  She pulled her perfectly groomed eyebrows together and squinted at me, “Umm yeah, we are. What’s this then?”

  I laughed at her, “It’s called fucking, and you of all people should know that.”

  Both her eyes widened on me as she fell back onto her bottom, “And what does that mean?”

  I sighed and shook my head at her, “Oh Christ, did you think because I fuck you that I want you in my life?”

  She swallowed heavily and I grit my teeth as she paled and stared at me. Her whole expression crumbled as she wet her lips with her tongue. “I thought…”

  She jolted when I snatched the ashtray from the drawers beside me and threw it against the wall. “For fucks sake. You need to stop this, Bec. I don’t love you, I will never love you. You’re just a hot cunt. That’s it, that’s all it’s ever been with me and you. Fucking, screwing, shagging… call it what you want but you need to realise that I don’t – want – you!”

  Her eyes lowered to the floor as she nodded. She pulled her clothes from beneath the bed and slowly dressed herself. She didn’t look at me again until she pulled open the bedroom door.

  “You know,” she said quietly as she paused in the doorway. “All I ever did was love you. I would never leave you. However much you hurt me, however much I hurt myself, cancer or no cancer… I love you too much to hurt you. Think about that when you’re next comparing me to your wife, who incidentally didn’t bat an eyelash when she kicked you to the curb.”

  My heart ruptured in my chest when the front door closed and her final words brought a truth. However much Rebecca annoyed me, she was right. Her love and faith in me had never wavered in nearly thirty years. She had been there through everything. She had taken my shit, she had faced up to each and every single word I hurt her with and she had held firm. She had never ran, she had never once intentionally hurt me, and she had never turned her back on me, no matter how much I hurt her.

  But I didn’t love her. I knew that, and she needed to know that. She would never be what I wanted and I could never be what she wanted. She didn’t own my heart, she didn’t even hold a fragment of it. It belonged to my wife, every single part of it.

  I reached under the bed and slid out the tray. Chopping a line, my gaze slid to the two wedding rings on the dresser where I’d placed them earlier after returning.

  I sighed and pushed the tray back to its original place. I’d never get her back by hanging onto the coke, she had seen it in me as soon as I had looked at her.

  But fuck, I missed her so much. My whole body was incomplete, just a half of what it should be. My soul wept daily, my heart struggled to even beat and my world was now just a corner in the shadows of existence.

  Cancer wasn’t just a disease that ate its host. It was an illness that ravaged everyone in its circle, it was a sickness that corrupted each heart it touched and it was a virus that infected the strongest of people, taking their willpower and breaking it down bit by bit until all that was left was a corpse, a ghost of a life that was once full and happy.

  It killed the soul.

  ***

  “Do you have the latest surveillance from Ava’s?” I asked Kade as I walked into his office in NSC the next day.

  He tilted his head and stared at me, “Umm, I haven’t managed to go through it.”

  “It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it. Just wanna see if there’s any more suspicious cars and look for anything that doesn’t seem right. It’s bad enough she spotted the internal cams, thank god she didn’t disable the exterior ones. Does the stupid woman not realise I’m doing this for her own good?”

  He continued to stare at me, his face tight as he licked his lips nervously. “What?” I asked when his behaviour sprung warning bells.

  “Nothing,” he smiled and downloaded all the CCTV from Ava’s before handing me the small USB. “Are you still on for tonight?”

  I nodded before walking out the door. “Yeah, I’ll meet you in the Panther about 8?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded and smiled before answering his phone that had been ringing for the last five minutes. “Eight!”

  I smiled to myself as I left the building. It was to be a good night. Firstly watching my little warrior pour drinks, then an hour or two with Kade in one of the privates.

  Perfect.

  ***

  I frowned as I watched Steed walk down Ava’s path. I watched as he left, then returned later that night. I could see the house lights from the cottage reflected in Steed’s car windows, each time they flicked on and each time they flicked off.

  I cocked my head when he arrived at 8pm wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt then left at 10am wearing jeans and a green top.

  My blood started to simmer when I watched the reflection from Ava’s bedroom in Steed’s car window. My throat started to twitch when I zoomed in and adjusted the focus in the car window. My fingers locked into fists as I viewed Ava stand in the bedroom window and Steed come to stand behind her. My jaw locked when I watched Steed slide his arms around my wife, tilt her head back and kiss her passionately.

  My wrath snapped when I watched him slide a hand down her body, slip it into her dressing gown then nudge her legs apart.

  And my laptop was launched across the room when I watched him bend her over th
e window ledge, smack her arse then drag her back into the room.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Hell

  Ava

  The scream echoed off my bedroom wall, bouncing around until it rebounded back at me.

  “More?” Steed asked through clenched teeth.

  “Yes,” I panted as a fire lit my veins and my pussy throbbed in need. “Hurt me, damn it.”

  The belt cracked my tender skin, blazing the flesh of my buttocks until the numbness took over the pain. He rained another three slashes across my arse, each time his mouth blowing tenderly across the scorch.

  He slipped a finger inside me and I came instantly, growling out his name as he finger fucked me hard and almost painfully. His mouth dipped between my legs so he could devour my cum, his tongue lapping noisily at me as his fists wrapped the cotton of my vest into his fingers.

  I groaned loudly when he opened my ass cheeks and reamed my anus with his tongue, preparing me for how he liked to take me. “Your pretty little ass is throbbing, Ava. Does it want my cock?”

  I nodded, barely able to talk with the thousand sensations running through my body. “Yes,” I managed to mutter.

  “Hard?”

  “Fuck yes!” I begged, “Hard, please.”

  His damp body slid over my back until his mouth rested behind my ear. “Do you want releasing?”

  I shook my head. “No, leave them on.”

  He kissed a section of skin behind my ear as he slid his hands over my cuffs, “You like being restrained for me, don’t you. Reminds you just how fucking dirty you are.”

  I closed my eyes as nausea threatened to ruin things. I nodded to him, he had no idea, but it’s all I deserved now, being held and fucked like the monster I was.

  His palm struck my bottom again, reigniting the pain from the belt before his cock slid into my ass. “Fuck!” Steed hissed as he pushed in deeper.

  The burn at no lubrication made me shudder but I relished in it as I sunk my teeth into the pillow. My body pressed deeper into the mattress as Steed screwed me with his usual fury and anger. He was feral, his drives into me painful but oh so good. His erotic moans heightened my lust as I rocked my hips in rhythm with his thrusts.