Salsa and Speedbumps

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “Yes, but it’s always there. The son who almost killed himself with narcotics. It’s like a shameful stamp on my forehead, and they take the blame, as if it were their fault I had the accident and made those choices.”

  “Do they still fear for you?”

  “Yes. They think marriage will keep me safe, and I’ve disappointed them in that too.”

  “Would marriage help?”

  “There’s no guarantee. Marriage is something I desire and dread.”

  “Dread?”

  “I witness so many couples, Christian couples, come in and divorce over the stupidest things. It scares me. My parents have a great marriage, but I’m no prize. If I marry, what’s to say my pain doesn’t erupt and I succumb to meds and end up a useless addict? I hope and pray every day that I can stay clean, but sometimes I hear the drugs calling to me. I’ve tried to make it impossible for me to get them, but I realize I probably could if I tried hard enough. I would never want to subject a woman I loved to the kind of pain I unthinkingly put my parents through.”

  Stephanie was silent for a time. “When people marry, it is for better or for worse. It’s a covenant and a promise. It’s also a risk. Risk of financial ruin, losing a job or a home, death of a child, death of a spouse, cancer, permanent disability. No one is exempt from troubles going into a marriage. With you, some of the possible challenges are known. In a way, doesn’t that make it easier? Any woman you marry would go into it with her eyes wide open and maybe even a plan to help encourage you to stay on the correct path.”

  “You may be right.”

  “Have you visited the back surgeon yet?”

  “No, the appointment is in two weeks.”

  “Will you do it?”

  “I don’t know yet if they will think there’s any hope of helping me. What about the risks? The possibility of becoming paralyzed scares me.”

  “I would find that scary too. Sounds like we both have difficult decisions to make.”

  “Just pray, Stephanie. All we can do is pray.”

  * * *

  Later that week, Stephanie went to meet with Mary Beth, the Women’s Ministry Director. The woman had been helpful to Renata when she was struggling.

  “Stephanie, I’m glad you stopped in. I’ve been praying for you and wondering how you are doing.”

  The gracious woman with short, dark hair escorted Stephanie to a tidy, comfortable office.

  Stephanie sat down in a soft, overstuffed chair and let out a sigh. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I think I’ve been avoiding coming in and discussing the mess my life is in because I’ve been ashamed.”

  “We’ve known each other for what, at least five years, haven’t we?”

  Stephanie nodded. She grabbed a tissue out of a nearby box and twisted it in her hands.

  “Have I ever once condemned you for anything? Criticized you?”

  Stephanie shook her head. “No, you’ve been gracious and welcoming every time we’ve talked.”

  “So why did you wait so long to come and tell me about this baby?”

  “I believed I messed up so bad no one would accept me.”

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Stephanie nodded and sucked in a deep breath, as if she could inhale courage. She shared about the date rape and all that had happened in the past two months with Roberto.

  “I’ve met Roberto and heard good things regarding him, although it’s been a short time since he’s been attending. It sounds like he has been a great help and support to you.”

  “He has. I adore him. I wish I had met him long before Luis showed up so we could have had a chance at a ‘normal’ courtship. Where could this go? Why do I keep seeing him? I feel like I’m stringing him along. I hold on to a vain hope he’ll be more than just a friend.”

  “Are you afraid you would make a mistake by allowing yourself to love him?”

  “What if it’s not really love? What if I’m only wanting the security he could offer? The rescue for me and my baby.”

  “What if he is your rescue? You can’t make a man want to marry you and assume responsibility for a wife and a child. Are you afraid that if he offered it would only be out of pity?”

  “It sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it? I mean, guys have a hard enough time committing to a woman, but to add a child into it would take a much larger initial commitment, wouldn’t it?”

  Mary Beth nodded. “I believe you are going to have to do a few things with this speed bump in your life. First, you need to slow down and spend more time seeking God in His leading of you in the way you should go. You’ve been on a roller-coaster of emotions and challenges. Try to step back a bit if you can and focus on God instead of the confusing mix of choices you are facing. Second, you need to trust yourself more.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You mentioned you had felt in your spirit…a warning against Luis and you didn’t listen to it. Do you experience any of that with regards to Roberto?”

  “No. None. I’m comfortable with him. He treats me with respect. I don’t have to be somebody I’m not when I’m with him. I don’t need to pretend to be wonderful.”

  Mary Beth smiled. “Just keep listening to the Holy Spirit. If He’s not giving you a red light, then relax and enjoy your time with Roberto and don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring.”

  “God’s already got it all figured out and all I need to do is wait?”

  “Right. Let me pray for you.” Mary Beth held Stephanie’s hand as she prayed for her, for wisdom and peace and for the health of this life inside her. Stephanie wiped away the tears when she was done.

  “Thanks for accepting me and understanding my story and validating my struggle.” She gave the director a hug. “I can’t tell you just how much that means to me right now.”

  “You don’t have to. I can guess.”

  Stephanie left her meeting with a lighter step and more at peace than she had been in a long time. God had this all under His control. She could trust Him.

  THIRTEEN

  Besar al uno olvidar al otro—el mejor remedio para el amor perdido es el amor nuevo.

  Kissing one and forgetting another—the best cure for lost love is new love.

  ~Mexican proverb

  August 2011

  Stephanie walked into the Mequon office of Harrington Legal Associates to meet with one of Roberto’s co-workers. She waited and flipped through the latest celebrity magazine while her knee bounced. Eventually, a thin man with reddish hair and wire-rimmed glasses made an appearance and introduced himself.

  “Ms. Simson? I am Curtis Fry. Will you follow me to the conference room?” His voice was higher than most men, and he carried his body in an awkward manner. In Stephanie’s opinion, he seemed too young to be an attorney.

  Stephanie rose to follow. Once seated in a large room with a mahogany conference table, she was offered water, and Mr. Fry sat down across from her and pulled out a file filled with legal documents.

  “Now, I understand Luis Vasquez was your boyfriend and is the father of your child. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “You split up with him several months ago and he became threatening, even to the point of destroying property.”

  “Yes.”

  “He held you hostage at gunpoint at your place of employment. You shot him which aided your rescue.”

  “That is also correct.”

  “He is in the country on an expired visa and lost his position at work due to this.”

  “Yes.”

  “According to the reports we have, Luis denies having fathered your child and assigns paternity to Roberto Rodriguez. What do you have to say to that?”

  “I did not meet Mr. Rodriguez until I was already three months along and had split with Mr. Vasquez. Mr. Rodriguez and I have never had intimate relations, so any child between us would be impossible.”

  “A DNA test on the baby may be needed to determine the truth of this matter.
Ms. Simson, you cannot look as beautiful as you are and have me believe you are dating and not being intimate. The jury will not believe you—given that you are pregnant, you obviously had sex with someone. This is will come up on cross-examination. I want you to be aware so you can be prepared.”

  Stephanie sighed. This was worse than she expected. Robbie was once again being blamed because he was associated with her.

  “Since the baby is not due until late December or early January, how could DNA evidence be used in this case?”

  “Either we delay the case until after the child is born, or we do DNA in utero.”

  “But aren’t there risks that kind of testing could hurt the baby? Possibly even end her life?”

  “I’m not a doctor, so that question would be better addressed to a physician.”

  “I’m giving this baby up for adoption, so doing the testing after birth is not possible. It will no longer be my child.”

  “Adoption won’t be possible until paternity is established. If Mr. Vasquez is the father, he will be legally held responsible for supporting the child. If it is Mr. Rodriguez, he has to be held accountable.”

  “I thought Mr. Vasquez was to be deported to Mexico due to his expired visa?”

  “The Department of Immigration and Naturalization is backed up right now and not interested in enforcing his deportation at the moment, especially given that he is in jail and standing trial soon.”

  Stephanie’s body grew cold.

  “Ms. Simson…Ms. Simson.” Mr. Fry’s voice became fainter as she passed into oblivion.

  When Stephanie recovered, she found herself laying on the floor with her feet raised. Robbie was there, and the rest of the room was empty.

  “What happened?” she asked him as he rubbed her hand.

  “You blacked out.”

  She closed her eyes as the reality of what the attorney had shared with her sunk in. She struggled to get up, and Robbie helped her rise to her feet and settled her in a chair. She spied faces at the plate glass window. Roberto waved them away. They took a last glance at the scene and departed.

  Stephanie began to weep and grabbed for the tissue at the table. “Did you know what the brief said?”

  “No, I stay out of cases involving people I’m acquainted with.”

  “May I tell you?”

  “Sure, but I can’t give you legal advice. Mr. Fry will need to do that.” Roberto sat next to her.

  “Luis is denying paternity and saying you are the father of this child. They want to do DNA testing. They say I cannot give the baby up for adoption until paternity is established.”

  “What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? He’s being held on domestic violence charges and breaking and entering.”

  “He’s getting a jury trial. The defense attorney wants to make me look like a tramp and is willing to drag you down with me. Oh, Robbie, I’m so sorry!” Roberto reached to draw her into his arms and held her. He rubbed her back.

  “They want to implicate me as the father?”

  Stephanie nodded.

  “They want to do DNA now or later?”

  “Now. Later would delay the trial.”

  “They can’t keep him in jail that long.”

  “So if we waited to do the DNA, he would be released?”

  “That is a possibility.”

  “But if we do the test now, it could harm the child.”

  “If we don’t, Luis may kill you—and the baby.”

  “What do we do?” she whispered and looked down at the mascara marked tissue in her hands.

  There was a knock on the door, and Mr. Fry walked in. “Is she okay?” He avoided Stephanie’s eyes.

  “As good as she can be given the news you delivered.”

  “If she’s going to be on the witness stand, she needs to understand what might be asked of her. She can’t be fainting.” Mr. Fry drew himself up in height and hugged the brief to his chest.

  “She is pregnant and received quite a shock. Couldn’t you be more considerate?”

  “You should talk, you’re the one who got her in this position.” Curtis had a smug look on his face.

  “Be careful what you say, Mr. Fry. I could sue you for slander.”

  The attorney shrank and jabbered incoherently, backing out of the room.

  “I’m sorry, Stephanie. I didn’t foresee this.”

  “Could you lose your job over this?” Stephanie turned to him.

  “It’s not a crime to get a woman pregnant, but because you are now being represented by the firm I work for, and my name is being brought up, Harrington may not want the association with me. It shouldn’t result in my losing my license or disciplinary action by the State, but yes, I could end up unemployed.”

  “This is unfair to you.”

  “Life isn’t fair, Stephanie. Even in the law, fairness is not always a consideration. But God knows the truth, and if this is the path He has set for us, we will walk it in full confidence that He will see us through.”

  “Even though it hurts?”

  Robbie gave a half-grin. “Even though it hurts. A lot.”

  * * *

  Robbie sat in his living room, gazing across the courtyard to the windows of Stephanie’s dark apartment. He had driven her home and told her not to go to work this evening. He was surprised how she acquiesced to his request. He didn’t believe he had the right to tell her what to do, but her blacking out scared him. He promised to take her to her doctor in the morning.

  God had made it clear, and Robbie had been hesitant to obey. Today, he came to a decision. He abandoned his excuses. It had been a busy afternoon since he had brought Stephanie home. He went to bed in pain but in peace. Tomorrow would come soon enough.

  * * *

  The next morning, Robbie went to Stephanie’s apartment to accompany her to the doctor’s office only a few blocks away. He walked her to the car and helped her in. Starting up the engine, he turned to her.

  “You’re beautiful.” He gave her a smile.

  “Thank you, Robbie. I needed that today.”

  She wore black trouser pants and a lacy red top and red lipstick. Her black sandals showed matching red toenails. She was stunning—how could she not understand that? Robbie thought he would never tire of gazing at her.

  He escorted her into the office and sat paging through magazines in the waiting room before they were admitted to Dr. Hagelman’s office. Her blood pressure was lower than the doctor liked. Robbie got to hear the baby’s heartbeat, steady and strong, as he stood by Stephanie’s side, holding her hand. The doctor ordered an ultrasound and Robbie accompanied her there. To his surprise, he was allowed to be in the room with her as they did the exam. He was mesmerized by this life visible in Stephanie’s womb—the beating heart, the hand waving, the head and all the little fingers and toes. The ultrasound was fine. Stephanie could return home, but the nurse instructed her to spend more time off her feet and eat more protein as she was starting to experience trouble with swelling around her ankles.

  They left the office, and Robbie took her to DeLuca’s for lunch.

  “We’re dining where I work?” Stephanie was surprised.

  “You told me you often don’t eat here. I doubt you ever get the opportunity to sit and enjoy a meal prepared by Tony, do you?”

  “No, you are right about that.” She placed her napkin awkwardly over part of her stomach and lap. Holly appeared with soup and bread and departed.

  “She’s not going to take our order?”

  “No, I ordered our meal in advance. I hope you don’t mind?” He worried she would be offended. He had planned the day with care.

  “No, its fine. I’m famished and could eat anything.” She glanced across at him.

  Roberto’s back muscles twitched and his neck tensed. He took a deep breath to try to relax them. “I have news to share.”

  Stephanie looked up at him.

  “I submitted my resignation to Harrington and Associates yesterday
afternoon, effective immediately.” He spooned some soup into his mouth and waited for her reaction.

  “You didn’t wait to see if they would terminate you?”

  “No, I explained to Mr. Harrington the circumstances of your case and how I had been implicated, and he was appreciative that I showed concern for the firm. He has extended my benefits for a few more weeks, and I have some pay as well due to unused sick time and vacation I had accrued. I left on a good note and have an excellent reference if I need one. I figured it would be better that way for everyone.”

  “So what are you going to do now?”

  Robbie shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ll try to search for something else.”

  “But without your health insurance you won’t be able to get your back surgery.”

  “Maybe that’s God’s answer.”

  She scowled. “How can you act like this is no big deal? You’ve been so attentive and sweet to me this morning. You never gave me a clue. It’s my fault you had to quit and yet you don’t seem concerned.”

  “Nope. I’m at peace. It frees me up to be by your side and serve you through this trial. I can think of no better use of my time or resources.”

  “I’m touched and grateful, Robbie, but are you sure?”

  “Yes, I am sure. It’s a done deal. There’s only one more thing I need to do, however, and I wanted to discuss it with you.”

  The empty soup bowls were removed and the food was placed in front of them. Holly withdrew, leaving them alone again.

  “So what is it you need to talk about?”

  “This.” He pulled out a small box from his pocket and pushed it across the linen tablecloth to her.

  “What is it?” She took the box.

  “Open it and find out.” He grinned.

  “Okay.” She pulled the ribbon apart and unwrapped the small box and flipped the lid to reveal a solitaire diamond in a white-gold setting. She looked across at him, furrows between her eyes, “What?”

  “I’ve been praying since I first met you here at DeLuca’s, about sharing my life with you. It’s become clear to me that there is nothing more that I want than to have you as my wife, standing by my side through the good and the bad that comes. Stephanie, I love you. Will you marry me?”