Lust Is the Thorn

by Jen McLaughlin

  His grip on me tightened, and he lowered his mouth to mine…

  And time froze.

  Chapter 10

  Thorn

  There was no more fighting it. No more denying it. I wanted Rose Gallagher with a passion and desire so fierce I could burn down rivers with it. No matter how hard I fought, or how many times I denied it, she had a hold on me that I couldn’t ignore anymore. Our lips touched, and it was as if all the troubles of the outside world—the pain, the regrets, the indecision—faded away until the only thing left was this feeling that I had finally found what I’d searched for my whole life.

  Rose.

  Her cool metal piercing pressed against my lips, and I ran my tongue over it like I’d been dying to do all weekend. She strained to get closer, whimpering. I stopped playing with her piercing and closed my mouth over hers, seizing full control of her. Her lips parted on a gasp, and I slid my tongue inside her sweet mouth with no hesitation. Closing both hands on either side of her head, I held her in place and cherished her like she deserved. Over the years, she’d been through so much. Seen so much. One thing she hadn’t had in her life was tenderness. Kindness. But tonight I had her. And she had me. She’d always have me. No matter what vows I took.

  She gasped, and I again slid my tongue between her parted lips. Tasting her so intimately almost knocked me off my feet. It had been years since I’d felt a woman like this, or touched a woman, and knowing it was Rose was too damn much. We’d always had a connection. An invisible thread connecting us, even when she’d been far too young for me to feel it. To act on it.

  Now it pulled us even closer.

  And it didn’t let go.

  Maybe Mikey would haunt me for the rest of my life, and maybe the guilt would, too, but that wouldn’t stop me. Nothing could. She deserved to be worshipped. And I was her loyal subject, kneeling at her altar.

  Groaning, I swept her into my arms and gently laid her down in front of the fire. I wasn’t going to take her against a wall, rough and fast. Once I had her on the soft rug, I ended the kiss for long enough to press my lips to her racing pulse. “I’m sorry. I just can’t resist anymore.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” she said breathlessly, her good hand skimming down my spine gently. “I’m not. But…are you sure about this?”

  “I’ve wanted you for years now. Every time we’re together, my mind wanders to things I shouldn’t even think about. That’s why I need you. Just one taste….” I trailed my fingers down her neck and over her soft shoulder, dipping lower to barely caress the swell of her breast. “Just one night of heaven in your arms, before I promise my life away forever….”

  Something crossed her expression, something that resembled sadness, but she smiled and lifted her face to mine. “Then take me. I’m all yours.”

  “Are you sure?” I hesitated, eyeing her with concern. “I can’t offer more than tonight. I promised myself to another life. Another—”

  “Shh.” She cupped my face. “I want you. This. More than you’ll ever know. I need you, too, just this once, as long as you promise it won’t change anything between us.”

  It should have been an easy promise to make, since this couldn’t change anything, but even so, the words stuck in my throat. The past was already written and there was no changing what I’d done—or what I had to do. To walk away from my duties, my promises, would be selfish. It was something the old me would have done. And in the end, that’s what made me able to say, “I promise.”

  I slid between her legs fully, resting my weight on my hands. She wrapped her legs around my waist firmly, and I rolled my hips against her, relearning the motions. Being there, with her wrapped around me, should have made me feel guilty, or at least reminded me of why I shouldn’t be doing this. There had been so many women, back when I’d been another man. Women I couldn’t remember, faces I’d never recognize. Being here, between Rose’s legs, felt almost foreign, after years of nothing but exercise as an outlet to relieve frustrations.

  “I need to see you. All of you.” I skimmed my hand down her thigh, and I couldn’t stop the tremor that rolled through me. “Rose…my sweet Rose.”

  I kissed her again, memorizing the way her mouth fit against mine. The way she tasted of wine and softness. Her lips were wet and plump, and she let out a sexy little sound that I knew would haunt me for the rest of my days. Deepening the kiss, I gripped the waist of her sweats and tugged them down. She lifted her hips for me, showing no signs of doubt herself, and wrapped her good arm around my neck, pulling me even closer.

  Having her hug me close, as if she never wanted to let me go, sent a shaft of longing through me that had nothing to do with sex. My heart started beating even faster, and that’s what made this whole thing such a mess. After this was over, I had to go back to my life of devotion and God. I had to commit myself to being the person I’d promised to be. Like I hadn’t tasted heaven and been forced to come back.

  Tossing the sweats over my shoulder, I broke off the kiss and gently took her shirt off, my pulse pounding harder with each inch of skin I bared. As I slid the shirt off her head, and gently rolled it over her splint, she laughed nervously. “This is probably the most unsexy disrobing you’ve ever witnessed.”

  “Not true.” I swallowed and tossed the sweatshirt with the sweats. “Doing it like this, slowly, only heightens the expectation. And nothing about you could ever be unsexy.”

  She licked her lips, her breathing ragged, and tugged at my shirt. “You need to lose some clothes. You’re not the only one who’s waited years to see what’s been hiding under the clothes.”

  “I will,” I said distractedly, not even remotely interested in removing my clothes. After all, I knew what I looked like under them. “When I’m ready.”

  All she had on was a formfitting tank top and a pair of black lace panties. It took all my control not to bury my face in her stomach and take a deep breath, cherishing her for the work of art she was. I ran my fingers over the skinny strap of her top, just barely brushing over her nipple. It puckered against the thin fabric, hiding nothing, yet all at once keeping way too much from me.

  I ran the edge of my thumbnail over her again, this time harder, and she gasped, arching her back. My gut tightened and twisted, and I bit back a groan. Impatience hit me, and I removed the tank top the same way I had her shirt. After tossing it over my shoulder, I fisted her panties, needing to see her.

  All of her.

  “Mine,” I growled.

  She grabbed my hand, her cheeks rosy, and stopped me. “Thorn.”

  I blinked at her, trying to ease the thick haze of need that had taken over me. All that mattered was getting her naked, and making love to her. I needed it. “Yeah?”

  “Are you sure?” She ran her thumb over the back of my hand. “I don’t want to be something you regret.”

  I swallowed hard. “I could never regret you.”

  “You promise?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

  Remembering her preferred method of promises back when we were younger, I said, “More than that? I pinky swear.”

  And in that moment, I meant every word. I couldn’t possibly imagine regretting a single second I spent with Rose, no matter what we were doing.

  She hesitated but then nodded, releasing me.

  I rolled her last remaining piece of clothing down her legs, tossing it with the rest. Then…I looked. She was all pale skin, with bright, vibrant tattoos. There was the rose with one thorn that I’d seen the other day. On her left shoulder was the dragon tattoo I already knew about, and there was a watercolor hummingbird on her right. She had Mikey’s name on her ribs, and a symbol of some sort. I could see the bruises marring her perfect skin, as well as the edges of the ink she had on her back, but I didn’t roll her over to look. Not yet.

  Her breasts were topped with dusky pink nipples, which were puckered and begging for attention. She rested a hand on her stomach, breathing heavily, watching me watch her. Slowly, I reached out and traced
a path up her stomach, to her heart. It pounded against my fingers as I flattened my hand over it, and goose bumps rose along my path. I skimmed my finger back down, ignoring her breasts for the moment, and slid closer to her core. She was shaved, with a thin strip of brown curls between her legs, and I wanted nothing more than to rip my clothes off, settle between her legs, and take her like my body was demanding. My pulse was pounding, my palms were sweating, and every muscle in my body hurt with the strain it took to hold myself back. She deserved more than a quick, passionate fuck. She needed bouquets and sunshine and love. And I—

  “Grab my purse,” she whispered.

  “Huh?” I snapped back to attention. “What?”

  “Behind you. My purse.”

  I did as told, handing it to her.

  She grabbed it, her fingers brushing mine. Reaching inside, she held up a square foil package of a kind I hadn’t seen in years, but recognized immediately. I was so lost in her that the idea of protection hadn’t even popped into my head.

  “I’m on the Pill, and I get tested regularly, but still.” She wiggled the condom. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

  I nodded once.

  “You need to lose this.” She gripped my clerical collar and tore it off, throwing it aside. “I only have one good hand, or I would tackle you right now, straddle you, and tear your clothes off. Since I can’t…take off your clothes. Now.”

  I didn’t want to, instead wanting to worship her body as it deserved to be. But I knew that once I started, I wouldn’t want to stop. I would bury myself between her thighs and never look back. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She grinned. “That’s more like it.”

  “Don’t get used to my cooperation.” I stumbled to my feet and undid my shirt buttons. Underneath my pants, I wore nothing. It was almost as if I’d known all along how our last night together would end, and I’d wanted nothing to stand in the way between us. “Once we really get started, you’ll see just how bossy I can be.”

  Her lips parted on a deep breath, and she studied my hands as I undid my shirt. “As long as you’re naked, you can boss me around all you like.”

  “Never thought I would hear those words come out of your mouth,” I said drily.

  “In bed.” She bit down on her lip, tonguing her piercing. “And only in bed.”

  My palms itched to show her just how bossy I could be. Long-repressed urges came back to life, and I tried to shove them down. I wasn’t going to slam myself inside of her and spank her till she came. And I wasn’t going to lose myself in her and forget all the things I’d done. The debts I owed. That wasn’t who I was anymore. And I wouldn’t forget that. I let my shirt hit the floor. “We’re not in bed.”

  “I—” She sucked in a deep breath. “God, what a waste.”

  I froze with my hands on my pants. “What’s a waste?”

  “All that.” She gestured to my abs. “Under that.” This time, she pointed to my collar. “It’s a waste.”

  Biting back a grin, I let my pants hit the floor.

  She choked on a breath and rose up on her elbow. Her breasts rose and fell with each breath. “Holy shit.”

  The time for conversation and soft words was over. She was mine tonight, and I fully intended to take advantage of that. I fell to my knees between her thighs, lay my body over hers, curled my hand behind her neck, and slammed my mouth down on hers. She barely had time to inhale before I was on her, my fingers skimming over her bare skin with a thirst that would never be fully quenched.

  Her nails dug into my right shoulder painfully, and I welcomed the pain. It felt more natural than all this happiness she was making me feel. All this pleasure. Pain had been my companion for so long that I wasn’t sure what to do with the other feelings she brought out in me. Growling, I deepened the kiss and cupped her breasts with both hands, dragging them over her hard nipples. She cried out into my mouth and wrapped her legs around my waist, urging me to take her.

  And I could. It would be so easy. One quick thrust, and I’d be where I had only dreamed about being for years. But that would have been too easy. Too fast. She deserved more. Breaking off the kiss, I licked the side of her neck, and bit her shoulder hard. I froze, knowing I’d been rough, that the animal inside me was taking over. I focused on the fading yellow bruises that told of all she’d been through already. “Shit. Rose, I’m—”

  “Do it again.” Digging her nails into my back again, she arched her neck. “More. Harder.”

  All I could hear was the echoes of my heart pounding in my ears. Experimentally, I twisted her nipples with my fingers, just enough to sting a little bit, while thrusting my hips forward in a simulation of a thrust. “Like this?”

  “Yes.” She gasped and gripped my butt, digging her fingers into the bare skin. “God, yes. Harder.”

  Something inside me snapped, and there was no holding back any longer. It had been years since I had had a woman, since I had combined the pleasure with the pain like this, but it was as if not even a day had passed. I buried my hand between her thighs, cupping her core. As I thrust two fingers inside her wet heat, I closed my mouth over her nipple, scraping my teeth across it and sucking hard enough to hurt.

  She cried out, pressed my head closer to her breast, and slammed her heels to the floor, lifting her hips at the same time. “Thorn. Harder. Faster. Oh my—”

  Rolling my tongue over her nipple, I removed my hand from her body, because I could feel her walls tightening. Her orgasm looming. It wasn’t time yet. “No.”

  Her hand froze on my head, fingers still buried in my hair. “What?”

  “You’ll come when I say you can come, and not a second before. Tonight, your body is mine to command, and it’ll listen to every word I say.” Burying my hand in her hair, I scraped my teeth over her nipple one last time, nipping it lightly. “Got it?”

  She stopped breathing, but nodded frantically. “Y-yes.”

  “Good girl.” I lowered my body onto hers, dragging my skin over her skin, relishing every second of contact. Nibbling the spot right above her brown curls, I locked eyes with her. “And good girls get rewarded.”

  “Hell yeah, they do.” She again buried her hand in my hair, tugging painfully, but also pushing my face closer to her core. “Do it.”

  I lowered my head between her thighs, took a deep breath, and traced her slit with one finger. She was soft, and pink, and wet, and mine. She watched me, nostrils flared, as I touched her. “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this,” I said. How many times I’ve tried to deny wanting this. “Rose…”

  I rolled my tongue over her clit. She dug her heels into the floor and lifted her hips, her fingers threading through my hair. A breathy cry escaped her, and she rocked against me, every jerky motion screaming for me to take her where she needed to go—where I needed to go, too.

  After squeezing her nipples between my fingers one last time, I slid my hands under her butt, lifting her, and dug my fingertips into the soft flesh there. She pressed against my fingers even more, seeming to enjoy the roughness, and rolled her hips in a figure eight. I deepened my intimate kiss, taking her higher.

  Needing her to go higher.

  “Harder. Faster. I’m going to—” She yanked on my hair, her whole body tensing. “Yes.”

  She collapsed against the rug, goose bumps all over her flesh, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She seemed to think I was finished with her—when I had only just started. Tightening my hold on her, I hauled her hips back up to where I wanted her and thrust my tongue inside her, curling it just right, and she gasped. Slowly, her hand left my hair, and she pushed against my forehead with her good hand, almost as if she couldn’t handle more, but I knew better. I pressed even closer, closing my mouth over her sensitive clit again, gently rolling my tongue over her.

  She stopped pushing me away and pulled me closer, a ragged moan escaping her. “Oh my—you’re killing me.”

  My only response was to roll my tongue over her harder, scrapin
g my teeth against her wet flesh, too. She screamed, pounded my shoulder, and pumped her hips against my mouth and tongue desperately. I slapped the side of her thigh once, and she convulsed, her hips straining against me as she came again. She fell back to the floor, tears running down her face, and threw her hand over her head in what had to be, hands down, the most effortlessly seductive thing I’d ever seen.

  Her slim body twisted and turned as she basked in the aftermath of her orgasms, and there was no way I could wait another second to bury myself inside her. Gritting my teeth, I stood and grabbed the condom sleeve, holding the opposite corners to rip it open.

  She held a hand up, lurching into a sitting position. “Wait!”

  I raised a brow. “For?”

  “Me.” She rose to her knees unsteadily, resting her hand on my upper thigh, dangerously close to my painfully hard cock. “May I have a turn?”

  I froze, knowing that if she wrapped her mouth around me, I might die….

  But I didn’t stop her.

  Chapter 11

  Rose

  I stared up at him, waiting for a sign that he was okay with me giving him a blow job. I mean, with any other guy, it wouldn’t even be a question. But this was Thorn, and we weren’t even supposed to be doing this, and I didn’t want to take it further than he was comfortable going—though after what he’d just done to me, something told me he was willing to go pretty damn far.

  He flexed his jaw, buried his hands in my hair, and urged me closer. That was all the sign I needed. Wrapping my fingers around the shaft, I flicked my tongue over the tip of his cock. He groaned, the cords in his muscles tightening, and lowered his head so he could watch. I was used to men closing their eyes, but him keeping his open made perfect sense. After all, this was the only time he was letting himself have me.

  Before he took his vows and was lost to me forever.

  It gave tonight a sacredness, and this was the closest I’d ever been to experiencing something on a spiritual level. It was as if the two of us were connected in some way, and he was mine, and nothing—not even a white collar—would ever change that. But he wasn’t actually mine. He was God’s.