Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series)

by A. Z. Green

  Kerk's face altered with a ghost smile. “That goes without saying, sir.”

  Nik nodded, his eyes hinting at apology. Kerk noticed before he shut the door behind him.

  Nik's gaze was swiftly back on Garik. “So let's say I believe you. What now?”

  Garik thought about it for a moment. He was serious and solemn, all traces of his clown side had disappeared. It made him more convincing in Nik's eyes.

  “I need you to trust me and let me do this.”

  Nik stared at him. It took a lot of effort to conceal the disbelieving gasp of laughter he was itching to spit out. “You want me to allow you to have all this secrecy without being at all in the loop? Do you think I'm a fool?”

  “No. Which is why I know you'll understand if I tell you a few things first.”

  Nik listened as Garik relieved some of what he knew about Njord, about the real traitor in the Pack and the growing alliances between other members of different Packs. That there were members of the Cur Hunters living in every Pack, including The Deer Creek Pack. He didn't know who but that's what he needed Njord for.

  He also told him their plans were not just to overthrow Nik, or to conceal their identity and protect the Cur Hunters -which of course Nik had always suspected- but to kill off anyone who risked revealing a centuries old secret.

  “Which would be?”

  Garik shrugged. “That's why it's called a secret. It's what I'm trying to find out. Both Thorpe and I have seen a lot of strange shit in our time. Only I've bothered to seek it out whilst Thorpe looked the other way. Maybe one day I can get him to help me, but for now, whilst the waters are reasonably calm, I'm on my own. But not if you help me.” Garik and Nik locked eyes. Garik's face was genuine, almost pleading. “I need you to go along with this. If anyone finds out what I'm up to, including Njord, a lot of things will go very very wrong. Not only will I be killed, but so will all those involved. Jaz also falls into that category.” Nik's facial muscles tightened. Garik didn't miss it. “I know how much you care about her. You no doubt love her. I love her too and though I've never spent time with her, I've watched her for years.”

  Nik's brow furrowed. “How could you? When her existence wasn't even known until over a year ago?” Garik lowered his gaze. Nik stared at him, realization setting in. “You knew she was alive all this time and you didn't say anything?” he questioned with astonishment.

  “I knew she was safe. I was always watching her. I didn't know that Lora wasn't a full Were. I couldn't be certain about anything. Not when they both had the Were scent on them. I couldn't say or do anything without putting someone in danger. You understand?” Nik nodded unwillingly. “Thorpe messed up sending her away but I understood why he did it. I promised myself I'd keep an eye on her. When I started seeing changes in her. The first signs she was ready to Change, I made little anonymous hints unknown to her aunt, to you, and anyone else on the search, just so she could be found quicker. I got hospital records, bribed and threatened my way to get the information I needed. It was difficult to hide the fact I knew where she was already.”

  “Why put up this facade? Everyone always thought you despised your brother for running and then concealing his Were child's existence.”

  Garik smiled. “It means I get an upper hand. And speaking of the Were. There are things we need to discuss about her but we'll leave that until I'm sure I can trust you.”

  Nik's expression showed he didn't like this. It was he who had more reason not to trust Garik.

  “But for now, I have something I think you should know,” Garik added in a voice that made Nik uncomfortable. He sat up straighter, not liking the look in Garik's eye. Garik continued. “I saw Jaz coming out of the pharmacy looking a little secretive. I convinced Egor to tell me what she'd gone in for. Well, you're not gonna like this, but I think she's using hemlock.”

  Nik's eyes widened in shock, and then his face turned red with fury. “You're sure?” he demanded icily. He didn't want to trust Garik's words. Not about something like this, but after being around Jaz, having ideas of what was in her heart, he knew deep down she would do something like this. It still wasn't easy to take in.

  Garik's expression became grave. He pulled out a plastic sealed bag from his pocket. Inside was a gunky heap of damp, dark, limp roots. In a low voice he replied, “I found this in her bin. Check her cabin. My bet is the rest is hidden in her room.”

  *

  Even after they'd had sex for the second time that night, Fraya was still furious about losing the fight with Jaz. She flopped her head back aggressively on the pillow and huffed, glaring at the wooden ceiling.

  “Just let it go Fraya,” said a deep, lazy voice by her side. She sat up, letting the sheet slip from her bare breasts. Her slender naked back facing the man next to her. His chocolate hand reached up and stroked the skin affectionately. “You'll heal soon enough.”

  “Physically. Yes,” she snarled then caressed her throbbing jaw.

  He gave her a look that said 'Come on now'. She fought with her emotions for a good minute, keeping her unblinking eyes fixed on his. Then she gave in sighing heavily. All the anger left her face, her body loosened up.

  “Why do you hate her so much?”

  She bit her lip. “I don't hate her.” His black eyebrows lifted in surprise. “I resent her. I envy her. I feel guilty and tormented by her whenever I see her, or smell her near me.”

  “Because of Nik?”

  “Because of everything!” she snapped.

  Her lover's stroking hand dropped onto the mattress. He patted it, beckoning her to lie back with him. She wouldn't so he sat up. He then got out of bed, flipping the sheet from his naked body and stood up, bearing all in front of her. His dark skin looked dramatic as the light from the fire waved across it. Even in her foul mood she could admit he looked pretty magnificent.

  “You have to stop this. Now,” he said resolutely. “You know what happened before. You made a mistake because of it and you have to move on. Every time you bring it up I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest for my part in it.”

  Fraya scrutinized him.“You did nothing.”

  “Exactly!” he retorted. “I did NOTHING. I had every chance to tell someone. To tell Nik. And I didn't... I still have that chance.”

  Fraya stared at him wide-eyed which swiftly turned into a menacing warning. “You wouldn't?”

  He locked his eyes on her. “Stop doing this. Leave her alone. Stop all of this and I won't. Keep bringing this up, causing all this shit to happen and putting me in the middle to pick up the pieces and I won't have any other choice.”

  “You wouldn't do that to someone you're supposed to love.”

  He leant forward holding her face in his hands, gently running his fingers tenderly under her fractured, bruised jaw. “I love you, which is why I'm telling you this. Stop it, or I'll do it. I'll find a way, even if you have me killed.”

  “I would never do that, Carr.”

  He smiled sadly. “I hope not.”

  *

  3:02 p.m. Jaz's Cabin

  Nik stormed into the cabin, his whole demeanor meaning serious business. He was moments away from losing control of his shakily contained fury.

  Edda stood up in astonishment as he marched into the living room, his eyes scanning over her. He barely acknowledged her presence as he went over to the kitchen cupboards and began rummaging through them, not caring about spilling the contents. Edda stammered, “What the hell has happened?”

  Nik glared at her. “Where is she?” he demanded in a deep growl.

  He didn't wait for her to answer as he marched off into the direction of Jaz's bedroom. Edda tried to get there before him but he was quicker. He forced his way in, finding the room empty. He then began searching through the bedside drawers, under the bed, the mattress, the covers, inside the wardrobe until as he was feeling his way through her clothes, he stopped at the pockets of her leather jacket. Something lumpy was inside. It rustled as he pulled it ou
t.

  He stared at the pharmacy bag, opened it and looked inside. The same shaped roots as the one Garik showed him were packed inside a sealed clear bag. They were dry but he recognized them immediately. He also caught a whiff of the strange mouse smell from the same one Garik had.

  The scent was familiar, though he wasn't sure why.

  The perfume smell on Jaz's coat and the poison in his hand, made him so mad he couldn't think. He scrunched up the paper bag in his palm and ripped his way out the room. “Where is she!?”

  Edda stepped out his way, appearing docile as he rampaged round the cabin. It was then the bathroom door swung open in a rush.

  Jaz had been in the shower when she heard the commotion. She'd turned off the water, jumped out and quickly wrapped a towel around her. She'd listened at the door just as a furious voice had bellowed, “Where is she!?” before she'd whipped open the door, only to find Driver with his back turned. Edda by his side.

  The moment between her opening the door and Edda seeing her was barely half a second. Edda's eyes widened slightly. At that moment, Driver turned to face Jaz.

  Jaz's stomach plummeted to the floor. She nearly vomited. Driver's expression was pure rage and it was aimed right at her. She stood frozen, paralyzed by fear. Even when he thundered towards her she couldn't run away. Her wet, bare feet were glued to floor.

  He grabbed her by the arm, the speed of it made his hand slide a little down her damp skin. He pulled her so harshly her arm was nearly dislocated. She swallowed her yelp as he dragged her into the living room, heading straight for the wall ahead.

  It was a bare wall lodged between the front door and the living room window. He threw her against it, pinning her there with one powerful hand. Her already bruised back groaned in protest. She wheezed at the pressure on her chest not knowing whether to attack or just to let him treat her this way.

  Though Driver could see that not only was she dripping wet, wearing only a towel, terrified and very bruised, his fury took over any inkling of compassion, lust, concern or shame he might have felt on a normal day.

  Right now he was far from normal.

  “I have never been so angry with anyone as I am with you right now.”

  Expecting him to shout made her uneasy when his voice came out in a spine-chilling whisper.

  Before Jaz plucked up the courage to ask, he held up a sealed plastic bag. Inside were the hemlock roots. She looked at it for a moment as if not certain what she was seeing. Her brain was moving slowly. Her eyes then widened momentarily as what was in front of her sunk in and then her lip became stubborn. Her whole face deadpanned, shutting him out. “Why did you go through my stuff?”

  Her whole response infuriated Nik even more. “WHAT the HELL were you thinking!?” he roared. Jaz closed her eyes, looked down and then hesitantly gazed up into his face. Nik shook the bag as he barked, “You could have killed yourself! We aren't invincible! This shit is still lethal to us!”

  “I was careful,” she replied firmly.

  Edda's faint gasp as she discovered the accusation was true came from her place by the breakfast bar.

  Nik threw the bag behind him into the air. It was caught by someone leaning in the shadows by the open front door. Only then did Jaz realize Garik was standing there, watching the whole scene with faint interest as if he'd seen it all before. She wanted to smash his face in. It was obvious he'd had a hand in this.

  “You were careful? You allowed yourself to be poisoned for what? What could be so damn important you'd risk your life for it!?” Jaz glared at him, wondering how the hell he could not see it. How could he not understand? “WHAT!?” He pressed on her chest harder, making her gasp.

  “Stop,” she whispered.

  “Answer me!”

  She was so desperate to get him off of her; afraid he'd crush her ribcage it hurt so much. In a fit of anger and distress she said the first thing that came to her mind.

  The wrong thing.

  “Because I don't want to be a monster!” she shrieked.

  The realization of what she'd just said hit her like a sledgehammer. But it was the look on Nik's face that really killed her.

  He stared at her with hollow eyes. After a moment he collected himself, leant back, removing his hand from her chest. She could feel it bruising but refrained from rubbing it.

  He cocked his head to the side, without looking directly at Edda but letting her know he was addressing her. “Leave us.” Without a word Edda walked towards the door, gave Jaz a stern but equally concerned look and headed outside. Garik moved out the way to let her pass but did not go with her. Nik exhaled loudly. “You too Garik.”

  “I think I should stay in case you decide to break another wall with her spine again.”

  Jaz gave him a sideways glance.

  Nik gunned him a look that Jaz didn't see but she swore she could feel the heat of it as if she was standing next to a furnace. Without watching him go, she heard Garik's footsteps leave; the front door closed almost inaudibly and they were alone.

  This was the first time since she'd been saved by Nik that night from Rufus that she'd been forced to face the memory head on. A lot of things had been left unsaid. Even earlier today in the gym office. They'd both held back.

  Having Edda give Lora's belongings to Jaz instead of coming himself, was another topic in the long list of awkward conversations she really didn't want to have at this moment. She hoped she'd only have to get through one at a time.

  She began to sweat at the thought of talking about that night, now that she'd foolishly blurted out that she thought they were all monsters, herself included. It had genuinely been aimed at only herself, but Nik, unlike her, wasn't a fool. He knew those words ran deeper than that. Even when she didn't. He'd asked her only a few hours earlier, What are you afraid of? Us? Or yourself?

  Both. She admitted.

  She had tried so hard to shut all memories of that night away.

  She was ashamed at what he'd seen. Ashamed of how she'd reacted when she'd seen him. As he was. A Beast.

  He'd seen her transform her hand into a claw. The memory was persistent now, demanding her attention. She shut her eyes for a whole minute, giving up when she couldn't push the images away.

  She looked down at her hand trying to imagine it. As a claw.

  It didn't seem real. But it was. And it scared her so much, she trembled.

  Nik noticed it; saw her glance down and he peered at her hand too without her seeing, thinking of the same night. But his thoughts differed greatly from hers as he went through it in his mind.

  Then he stepped back and held out his own hand in invitation. “Sit.” She remained standing stiffly by the wall. He frowned at her. “Please.”

  She couldn't move. It wasn't out of rudeness, she just physically couldn't move.

  He dropped his hand and bared his teeth. She saw how sharp they looked and swallowed. Her throat was bone dry. “You going to speak to me?” he questioned gruffly.

  She gazed around the room as if in a daze, then without warning a tear dropped from her eye and landed on her arm. They both remained silent. It was uncomfortable for them both. She hated herself for crying.

  “I'm sorry,” she whispered. Nik focused on her face. She didn't meet his gaze. “What I said. It wasn't what I meant.”

  “Yes it was.”

  Their eyes met.

  “No it wasn't. This isn't me attacking you, or Edda or anyone here.”

  “And yet you're talking about becoming what we are. And you referred to it as becoming a 'monster'. So we're monsters,” he said impatiently.

  She sighed, biting her bottom lip then rubbing her forehead in frustration. “I can't explain-”

  “So try!” he snapped.

  “You won't understand!”

  He stepped forward in irritation. “Stop telling me what I will and won't understand, what you can and can't explain and just TELL me. Right. Now.”

  He loomed over her making her feel so vulnerable, she
remembered why she used to be so terrified of him. No that wasn't right. Not used to. She'd always been scared of him. Now she was very forcefully made aware of that fact.

  She sniffed, angrily pushing back the tears that were threatening to appear. “I've spent my whole life believing I was a normal human until two months ago when I found out I turned into this horrible, terrifying Beast that would kill any person in a second without so much as thinking about it!”

  “We aren't all the same,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

  “I nearly got killed by one! If you hadn't stepped in I'd be dead!”

  “You're right. Because I have stronger self-control than him, I saved your life. And I could say the same for pretty much everyone. Rufus has always found it harder than most.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she snapped back haughtily.

  He clenched his jaw in annoyance. “You shouldn't have been outside in the first place! Because you never listen and just do what you want when you want!”

  She jumped forward in anger. “I went out that night because I couldn't stand one more second inside this cabin! In case you haven't noticed my body is not being itself and that night I felt like I was locked inside an incinerator! My first feverish instinct was to head straight to the lake. Edda was home and making her worry by shoving my head in the freezer or showering next door to her bedroom in the middle of the night didn't seem like a good idea,” she retorted.

  “So breaking curfew did?” he cut in coolly.

  She glowered at him. “I didn't exactly care about the rules at the time. Do I even need to justify that?” He regarded her in silence, his forehead set in a deep frown. “And excuse me if I didn't know there'd be these nightmarish things stalking me, ready to rip me to shreds!” she crowed, watching Nik's jaw clench and unclench.

  The strangest of moments, with such an insignificant facial movement, and yet she felt like she wanted him- to wrap her arms around him and do everything she'd fantasized about for the past two months- right there and then.