Through the Lens

by Sophia Emerson

“I'll see you tomorrow for dinner. Now go study.”

  “Bye, A.”

  “Bye Pumpkin.” Aidan said as he ended the call. She was his baby, his to protect. Can I trust the woman beside me with my family?

  The SUV slowly came to a stop, Claire felt the change and sat up quickly. “Where are we?” She asked as she was gathering her thoughts and calming her breathing that sped up too quickly. Aidan could hear the panic and fear in her voice. She was disoriented and looking around.

  “At the restaurant I told you about. It's a little bit of a dive but it has the best Italian food.” Aidan got out of the car and came around to Claire's side and opened the door, offering his hand. Claire took it as she slid from the vehicle. She looked at the white stone building. The place definitely looked like a hole in the wall restaurant. She almost wondered if the building would collapse if they walked through the door. When they walked inside the building it was as if they had gone through a magic portal. She saw the inside was decorated with small round tables and chairs. Red and white checkered tablecloths laid over the table with a candle in the middle. A lady showed them to a table and handed them menus. There was only one other couple that was across the room, giving her and Aidan lots of privacy.

  “What about your family?”

  “You met them at the wedding.”

  “No, I mean your birthparents.”

  “Never knew them really. My mother died in childbirth. My father eventually left me at a fire station when I was four.”

  “I'm sorry.”

  “I'm not. I could not imagine living with someone who did not want me.”

  Claire clenched her hands in fists, taking her dress with her. Not wanted. She knew about that.

  “I hit a nerve. I apologize.”

  “No, you are right. Living with people who do not want you is no way for a child to live. But you found a place of your own, a family.”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you get started?”

  “That is not a discussion for here.”

  Aidan stared at Claire.

  “You said that you have two photoshoots tomorrow?”

  “Yes. One business and one pleasure.” Claire smiled. She had a model, a bored heiress, that she had worked with for years and she was taking the woman's pregnancy pictures out in the park. “Of course I also have several paintings and drawings to complete.”

  “That is a lot of work. When do you have free time?”

  “I don't have plans this weekend.”

  “Friday night. Have dinner with me.”

  “Yes.”

  The waiter came up to take their order. Claire picked up the menu quickly trying to figure out what she wanted. She hated trying to figure out what to eat. Usually there were tons of meals that she thought sounded good.

  “We'll take two of your specials. She'll have diet coke and I'll keep my water.” Aidan took both of the menus and handed them to the waiter.

  “What if I don't want the special?”

  “You'll like it.”

  “You're confusing,” Claire said as she crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair, watching him.

  “Confusing how?”

  “All demanding, commanding, then sweet, then angry. Are you bipolar?”

  “Do you always speak your mind before you think through what you say?”

  “Yes. Drives Alyssa insane.”

  “I bet.” Aidan said into his glass as he took another drink.

  Claire ate her whole meal, Aidan hid a smile.

  “What?” Claire asked then looked at her plate. “Yes, I'm a pig. You'll get use to it.”

  “I like that you eat.”

  “I have to when there is food in front of me. I normally forget to eat. If it wasn't for Alyssa, there are times that I think I would’ve gone days before it even dawned on me to eat.”

  “That's why you said you'd set alarms.”

  “Yes, that and the doctor appointments.” Claire’s hand clenched into a fist the moment the word doctor passed her lips. She had let her guard drop in front of him and made a mistake.

  “Appointments?”

  “Yes.”

  “What kind of doctors?” Aidan ask as his shoulders went a little rigid.

  “It's not your problem.”

  “Claire. Talk to me.” His order made Claire's hair rise on her arm. She could imagine him coming across the table to choke her and bend her to his will. Her breathing was labored as she remembered that he was not the monsters that seemed to find her.

  “It's none of your business.”

  “As my girlfriend, as my submissive, should you take it, it will be.” Aidan said. She could see the anger starting to sizzle in his eyes. She knew that he was protective.

  “It's my counselor and my private doctor.”

  “Private?”

  “Aidan, this is embarrassing. It's my... doctor!” She growled the last word.

  “Your OB-GYN. Who do you see?”

  “Aidan. No.”

  “I will get you an appointment with a better doctor.”

  “No. Aidan I'm with a doctor that knows me. I don't, can't, go to another doctor and go through my records.”

  “Fine. Email me what they say.”

  “She won't say anything. I'm just getting my meds.”

  “Claire, you go to a pharmacy for those.”

  “I don't. She gives them to me after the check-up.”

  “What meds?”

  “Birth control.”

  “You've been on it a while?”

  “No. I'm starting.”

  “Good. I hate condoms,” Aidan said. “I still want the doctor's name.”

  “Want away.” Claire said as she took another bite of food. “This is really good. How did you know I drink Diet Coke?”

  “I know a lot about you Claire.”

  “Did you have someone following me?” She asked as she looked around. It was the first time that she noticed that the other couple had left.

  “I'm observant. You have to be to have a good, successful business like I do.”

  Claire looked a little lost, knowing that she was predictable didn’t sit well with her. Aidan saw her discomfort.

  “Plus Topher love to hear himself talk.” Aidan rolled his eyes, thinking about his brother.

  Aidan paid the bill and they walked to the SUV. The moment that the door is closed, Claire bit her lip as she got up the courage. “So how did you get started?”

  “You aren't going to let this go are you?”

  “Nope. I find you too interesting. Plus you know tons of stuff about me,” Claire said as she turned towards him.

  Aidan leaned over and kissed her. He ran his hand under her dress. “You're not wearing your underwear.” He breathed.

  “Stop trying to distract me. I want to know about you.”

  “Are you sure you want me to stop?”

  “No... yes. I want to know about you.”

  “I was given money to start the company from a suitor.” He said as he pushed his fingers inside her. Claire moaned as she slid down in the leather seat, her eyes closed.

  “Suitor? One of your girls.”

  “No. Someone that I wrote a website for. She liked my work and gave me the loan. The first year I tripled,” Aidan pushed in a third finger inside of her as she gasped and he quickened the pace, “the loan. I put it all into the market and a new adventure and it paid off.”

  “So she's on the board?”

  “I have no board. I need no board. I paid her and all the investors back. Only my money is in with my company. Makes for easier business.”

  Aidan leaned over and kissed her, their tongues moving in rhythm with one another. He bit her bottom lip as she moaned his name as she contracted around him. Aidan pulled out his fingers.

  “Something you told me was a lie, wasn't it.”

  “I don't lie.”

  “Then omitted. It's why you distracted me so I wouldn't see it in your face.”

  �
��Or maybe I wanted to do that since you sat down at the table and your dress rode up each time you made a fist.” Claire’s eyes popped open and looked over to him.

  “I notice everything, Ms. Henderson.”

  “I am starting to realize that, Mr. Ashby.”

  “I should get you home.”

  Claire moaned in disgust. “I have so much to get done.” Aidan just laughed as he started up the vehicle and started back towards the highway.

  “Well you have three days and then I'm taking you to dinner and you will be occupied at least until lunch the following day.”

  “That long huh?”

  “Yes.” Always so brisk in his words. So controlling.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Claire walked into her apartment alone. For the first time it hit her that Alyssa was really gone. Claire knew that she could stay at the apartment but in some ways she knew she needed to move out. Make a place that was all of her own. How should I do it? She had never been alone in her whole life. Claire closed her eyes taking a huge gulp of air and opened her eyes. Work. Work always was a welcomed distraction and it was constant. Claire turned on her macbook pro and disappeared into her room. The jeans and tank top was a welcome feel to her sore body. She smiled at the thought and went to grab a can of mountain dew from the refrigerator. She smiled seeing sticky notes on food containers, “Eat Me!” Claire couldn't help but smile at Alyssa. She had filled the entire fridge with food. She pulled out her phone and texted Alyssa. “Is there an army invading? So much food! Thanks sis!” She hit send as she put the phone in the back of her jeans and popped in the memory cards from the wedding and pulled them to her desktop.

  Claire picked up her paintbrush. She knew that the wedding pictures needed editing, but all the emotions from earlier flowed through her. She bit her lip as she pulled out a large blank canvas. Within minutes paint swirled and the paint, her brush, and arm danced across the canvas as they were one. It felt like minutes but an hour had passed. She took a drink and went to wash the paint off of her. “That will do for now.” Claire said to her reflection in the mirror. She knew how much more she wanted to paint but she was dying to look at the wedding pictures. Claire sat down and started going through the pictures putting them into different folders and deleting the ones that were not any good. Hours passed.

  Claire jolted as the phone in her back pocket vibrated. She looked at it and noticed that she had four missed texts, a missed call, and too many emails to count. Of course she always had tons of emails, usually Alyssa handled that but now she was the one that would have to look after it. Alyssa. Claire opened the text and smiled, “that food better be eaten, all of it, by the time I come back from my honeymoon. No skipping meals.” Claire texted a quick, “Yes ma'am.”

  She opens the next to see three texts from Aidan.

  “Get to your apartment safely?” It was sent while she was painting.

  “Claire. Are you purposely ignoring me?”

  “Are. You. Ok?” The last text, she could hear the anger. She smiled. She liked his controlling ways.

  “Sorry got lost in work. I didn't feel my phone vibrate.”

  Claire smiled at her remark and looked at the missed call. Aidan again. No surprise after the texts. The phone vibrated in her hands.

  “I'm sure I can make sure you feel the vibrations.” She felt his threat but it only made her wet. Why did this man do this to me? What is it about him that makes me feel not so broken? His strength? His commanding nature? Lost in thoughts, she jumped as the phone vibrated in her hands. “Turn your ringer on.”

  “Yes sir.” She texted and sat back down.

  Busy. That was the only word to describe the next two days for Claire. The thoughts of Aidan were never far from her mind. The pictures seemed to flow endlessly. She loved her photoshoots and seeing the baby bump of one of her clients made her heart swell. A baby bump. A baby. A helpless creature protected inside the mother's womb. Claire sat there as she edited more and more pictures. She sent files to her clients and the magazine. She looked to the magazine that showcased an article about Aidan Ashby. She turned back to the pictures. Could I ever have a baby? Could I ever be a good mother when my past is so dark? Would Aidan want kids? Do I want kids with Aidan?

  Aidan was sitting at his desk working when a knock interrupted him. “What,” he growled as his secretary walked into the room. “There is an Alyssa on line 1, she said she won't stop calling until she speaks to you.”

  “What's wrong?” He asked as he picked up the phone. “Is Topher hurt?”

  “No. ” He could feel her reservations, like she would hang up on him in an instant. He was always gruff with his employees and Alyssa was family but still he was cautious around her. “I'm sorry that I bothered you.”

  “No bother at all. How are you Alyssa?”

  “Have you spoken with Claire?”

  “Claire? Yes she texted me...” Aidan looked to his phone and realized that it had been almost six hours since they last talked. “We texted a little while ago. Why?”

  “I was stupid. I should have gotten her an assistant to keep up with her... why did I not think of that.” Alyssa drone on and on as Aidan kept looking over his paper in front of him.

  “Alyssa. Why don't you call her?”

  “Topher said you like her?” Aidan stiffened at Alyssa's bluntness.

  “Did he?” He was going to have to speak to his brother sternly on his return.

  “Aidan, you should know that Claire... she's...”

  “She told me last night about what happened in college.”

  “She did?”

  “Yes she had...”

  “Shit! Now I know I should have hired an assistant. I'm calling...”

  “Don't do that. You are on your honeymoon, you should be enjoying yourself. I'll handle Claire... just tell me what I need to know.”

  “Aidan. Claire lives her live looking through the lens. She does not notice things around her. I've seen her go weeks without eating and days without sleeping. Most weeks I made food and put it in front of her. Some times I had to force her to eat. I've watched her work for days and then sleep for two straight days. Her past... she puts all of her emotions into her work. That blue painting you purchased she did the moment that you dropped her off. I don't know what happened between you two but it was the first painting that she's done in four years. I'm worried that she'll bury herself in work like she normally does to avoid any kind of emotions that could bring about any type of feelings.”

  “You think her heartless?”

  “Never!” she snapped, instantly regretting it. “She protects herself from pain. I don't think that she could take any more. I've seen her...”

  “Broken?”

  “That's her word. But yes in many ways. I'm the only person she's allowed in since she was a child, and that's only because I was the first one she was near that did not hurt her.”

  “Until now.”

  “What?”

  “She let me in.” There was silence on the other end except for Alyssa's breathing.

  “Did she talk about... before college?” Alyssa almost whispered afraid that someone might overhear.

  Aidan closed his eyes. “No. Alyssa I'll watch out for her. I know the perfect assistant for her too.”

  “Female only.”

  “Of course. I would not want any man alone with her in an apartment.” Aidan sounded appalled at the idea bringing a smile to Alyssa's face for a moment.

  “You hurt her I'll kill you. I don't care if your Topher's brother or not. She's come a long way up to now. But she's still... fragile. I meant it about if she's hurt again. She'll not only relapse, I'm afraid it will kill her.” Alyssa said. Aidan could hear the pain and fear in her voice.

  “I would never harm her.”

  “Not on purpose.”

  “Go. Enjoy your honeymoon. I shall deal with Ms. Henderson.”

  “Thank you.” Alyssa said and hung up the phone.

  Claire was s
itting at the desk as she finished the last batch of wedding photos. She paused as she saw a picture of her and Aidan dancing after everyone had gone. She was small in his arms as she danced barefoot on the dance floor. Thank you Clinton. Claire said with a smile as she print out the picture after editing it.

  A knock on the door sounded as she cautiously padded over to it. Looking through the peephole, she smiled as she saw Ella standing there. Claire opened the door, smiling. “I thought you had dinner with your brother.”

  “He got to working and lost track of time.” She smiled as she walked into the kitchen. “So I'm here to see the pictures, drink some wine. I already told him how he's making up for missing dinner with me.” She said with a giggle.

  “Trust me there is enough food to feed an army in that fridge if you're hungry.”

  “Really?” She said her eyes lighting up.

  “Go ahead. My apartment is your apartment.” Claire said as she put her arms out.

  “Don't say that or you may find a roommate sooner than you think.”

  Claire looked back to her in surprise. Glad that Ella was halfway into the fridge.

  “You cooked all this.”

  “No Alyssa did. I can't, don't, cook.” Claire said as she padded back over to her computer. She heard the microwave click open and beeping. “I almost have all of the pictures edited. Just have one album left.” Claire started editing the last of the pictures.

  She could hear Ella moving around the room, picking up some stuff. Claire focused on her editing until she heard a gasp. She looked up quickly. “This is beautiful. Why isn't it on the wall?” Ella asked as she poked her head out of the room where she had put her painting to dry. Claire walked over to see which painting she was talking about. Ella moved to pick it up.

  “Careful, it's still wet.”

  “You painted this?” Ella asked, her eyes wide. “This is amazing Claire.”

  “Thank you. I'm thinking about putting it into a gallery.”

  “Which one?” Ella asked as she walked back into the living room, Claire following her.

  “I am going to open my own gallery. At least that is the plan. I'm looking for spaces this week.” Claire said with a smile. She would finally be able to afford a place of her own to showcase all of her work.