by Lane Hart
I changed back into the work clothes I had been wearing when I went to sleep standing up and then Ben and I made our way to his SUV in the parking lot.
"Emily, are you sure you're feeling okay? Do you want to wait here while I get the car and come pick you up?" Ben asked as he put an arm around me.
"No, I can walk. I really am fine, just tired from all the excitement and probably still dehydrated from throwing up before you got home."
"I’m worried about you. We'll get you home and in bed so you can rest, but maybe you should take tomorrow off," he suggested.
"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I'll go ahead and text Jack to tell him I'm feeling 'under the weather' and I'll try to be back in on Wednesday."
Chapter
Five
I must have dozed off during the ride home, because it seemed like no time passed before the car door shutting woke me up. Ben walked around to my side and held out his hand to help me down. I accepted his help and we made our way upstairs to our bedroom. I was so ready to put on my nightgown and climb into bed.
I couldn't help but notice the odd questioning looks Ben had been giving me, as if waiting for me to do something or say something. He was probably just worried I was going to fall out in the floor again. I chewed on my lip as I thought about bringing up his feelings on the pregnancy, but decided he’d talk about it when he was ready.
"Do you need anything to eat or drink?" he asked.
Ugh, my stomach flipped just thinking about food.
"No, thanks,” I said immediately, but then I looked at the clock and thought about him going all night without having dinner. It was well past eleven o’clock.
“Did you ever get anything to eat?” I asked him, knowing that after he carted me off to the hospital he’d been sitting by my side for hours and had to be starving by now.
He didn’t even think it over and just said he’d had a big lunch and was ready for bed.
“Yeah me too,” I told him, “I just want to curl up and sleep until noon tomorrow. I hope I don't have any more of those crazy animal dreams ..." My sentence abruptly stopped as my mind went into rewind and everything started coming back to me. In my foggy dream Ben was saying something strange like he could turn into an animal right before a penguin appeared in our living room.
I looked up at Ben and I could tell by his frozen posture that he knew my mind had finally come back around to when I had passed out.
When he didn’t offer up any comments, I gave in and asked jokingly, "I know this is a bizarre thing to ask, but did you say earlier tonight that you could turn into an animal, or did I dream that?"
Ben let out his breath in a big exhale, as if he'd been holding it for a long time. He put down the sleep pants he was just about to put on over his boxer briefs, and ran his hand through his hair again. When he began pacing beside the bed I thought I was going to burst from his silence at my ridiculous question when he finally responded.
"I was wondering if, and/or when, that would come back to you."
I was somewhat caught off guard when he didn’t immediately laugh at me or say I was dreaming. I was starting to seriously consider that it all may have really happened.
"You really did tell me that didn't you? Then you were, I mean, was there a really big ass penguin in our living room or did I dream that?" I gasped when the realization hit. "Is that why I passed out?"
"Yes," he said as he nodded and struggled to find the words he wanted to say. "Can you sit down so I can explain all this before you pass out again?" he finally asked.
Well that wasn't very nice, but it was probably true. I sat down on the edge of the bed with my and anxiously waited for him to explain to me what the hell was going on.
"I was born a shapeshifter," he started, and went on quickly before I could interrupt. "It means I can turn into an animal at will … or spontaneously if I get too upset. That's why I take the Adoral. I don’t really have ADHD, like I told you. I take it because it helps keep me focused and in control of my moods, and, well, it keeps me from basically losing it and shifting in front of someone."
When I didn't say anything (because my brain couldn’t come up with a response) he continued on.
"It's genetic, just like passing down my blue eyes." He sounded as if he was giving a completely normal lecture on genetics and not talking about something as silly as people being able to turn into animals.
"There are only a handful of us because only males inherit and pass on the gene. Since we are actual freaks of nature I think natural selection is trying to weed us out of the gene pool. Infertility is getting worse as time goes on. I was the last known shifter born almost thirty years ago. That's why I'm an only child, and my father was and so on. There’s an old wives’ tale that’s been passed down that may or may not be true. It claims one of our ancestors shifted into a wolf in the 1600s to get away from settlers, which is where the whole ‘werewolves’ legend actually came from.”
He rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache and then added, "There was a big probability that I'd never father any children, that's why I never told you about all this. I didn't want to disappoint you but this is what I was referring to when I told you I may not be able to give you children. And even if there was a remote chance we could have a baby I wasn’t sure I wanted to try because if we have a boy he’ll be like me. I figured that when the time came and you said you wanted to have a family that you’d be ready to adopt. Then I would never have to tell you or risk passing this abomination on."
I was speechless and still confused as I tried to wrap my head around what he was saying. Ben looked so distraught it was hard to look at him. His jaw was clenched so hard I thought I could hear his teeth grinding. His whole body looked tense and slightly angry, but I didn’t think it was directed at me.
"But now," he went on. "Now I have to tell you the secret of what I am because there's a 50/50 chance that our child will be like me."
Seeing how upset he was about this I knew he was serious. I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t be offensive or make things worse as my fingers fidgeted nervously with the bottom of my nightgown.
"So, you’re saying that if we have a girl she'll be umm... normal, but if we have a boy?" I asked.
"He'll be like me, a shifter, and I will finally know the hell I put my parents through," he said as he shook his head.
"What do you mean? Your parents love you and think the sun shines out of your ass."
They really did. Ben’s parents had never said a single negative word about him and I knew they thought he was the best son on the planet.
He gave me a half smile and then said, "I was a holy terror when I was little. The first few years were the worst. As a child I couldn't understand what I was or how to control it. That’s why my mom home-schooled me. Even with the Adoral it took me until middle school to get enough control that my parents let me go to public school."
It was still hard to believe he was talking about all this like it was normal. But there was that penguin that had seemed real enough wearing Ben’s clothes. What the heck had I gotten myself into? Part of me could understand why he hadn’t told me about all this, but the other part of me was second guessing everything I knew about him because of this omission.
"So, what exactly do you mean when you say 'shift'?" I asked. “Like when you were the um, penguin?” I had a million questions but I thought it best to start at the beginning.
"Well," he said as he stopped pacing, "I can show you again if you want."
Was I ready to see this again? Without passing out? I guess now was as good a time as any since I could be the mother of a "shifter" soon.
"Sure, I guess," and I motioned for him to get on with it. Was anyone ever ready to see a person turn into an animal, I thought to myself. This was just too bizarre.
"Um, what exactly will you be, I mean do you get to choose the animal?" I asked as I tried to get a grasp on this. Which was hard since everything I thought I knew about him wa
s now being turned upside down.
He nodded. "When I was about fourteen I had enough control to be able to shift into whatever I could think of. For some reason we’re not able to shift into cold-blooded animals or fish. I guess because it would be too dangerous and almost impossible for me to survive without the right habitat."
As I thought about it that made sense in a messed up way I guess. At least he could never turn into a snake or pull a Jaws in the pool, scaring the shit out of me.
Ben hesitated and then started taking off what clothes he still had on.
The sight of all his smooth tan skin, rippling muscles, and um, elongated manhood was enough to make me momentarily forget about our strange and life changing conversation.
"So, I uh, guess you need to be all natural for this kind of thing?" I asked with a hint of a blush forming on my cheeks. Even though I had seen him naked more times that I could count it was not something I thought I’d ever get used to seeing without panting.
Ben shrugged and then said, "Well, yeah, since my clothes won't fit after I shift."
Duh, Emily is what he should have said. That also explained the clothes hanging off the penguin earlier.
"What kind of animal would freak you out the least?" he asked.
Let's see, a human maybe? But since I had to choose one, "How about a dog? Those are nice and sweet and not scary," I suggested, well, unless he decided on a pit-bull.
"Okay,” he said nervously. “Here goes."
Chapter
Six
I watched in complete bewilderment as my husband's 6’2 body shrunk to about three feet off the floor. Brown fur began sprouting out all over him in the blink of an eye. His face instantly shifted into a muzzle and a tail sprouted out behind him.
Holy. Freaking. Shit. It was the most unreal thing I'd ever seen, and probably would ever see in my entire life. How was this possible? It went beyond my normal comprehension and there didn’t seem to be a logical explanation.
After everything seemed to be in place the dog sat back on his haunches, tilted his head to the side and whined as he looked up at me. He looked like a large breed of Pomeranian, and seemed to be waiting for me to say something.
I swallowed a few times to try and make my mouth work, and then licked my lips that had gone dry while my mouth was hanging open. Good thing he had insisted that I sit down.
"Umm, so you can turn into a dog?" I was such a wordsmith.
He whined again.
"And you can turn into a lot of other animals?"
He nodded his head up and down in a very human gesture. I noticed that his eyes had stayed his usual cobalt blue, which in some small way was reassuring. It may not look like him on the outside but looking at the dog’s eyes I knew that Ben was still in there.
A sudden thought hit me. “So you’re like a real life version of Sam from True Blood?” I asked him.
He barked as if I had offended him with the comparison.
Another minute passed and Ben’s 6'2 nude frame appeared again. He was standing hunched over with his hands on his thighs as if he needed to catch his breath. No fur, no muzzle, just him.
I could handle all of this. He's still the same man I met three years ago, and when I made a vow that I'd always love and cherish him I had meant it too. Although, it would have been nice if before our wedding he’d made the full disclosure that he could change into animals and it was genetic.
Even though there was no way I would have ever guessed our marriage would be faced with this particular challenge, I couldn't imagine my life without him. So what if he was a self-contained zoo? It would take some getting used to, and I knew everything in my life was going to change now, especially if we had a boy, but I was certain that the two of us could get through anything.
Ben straightened to his full height and then nervously asked, "So, are you going to pass out again, or run screaming out the door and never come back?"
"No," I answered without hesitation. As strange as this was for me, I couldn’t image how hard it must be for him to open up to me with this secret he’d been hiding from everyone for thirty years.
"Are you sure? I'd understand if you did. I've kept this from you since we met, but I'm still me. You know that right?" Ben asked as he went to pick up his clothes and put them back on. He probably thought that covering up would once again hide what he really was.
This new nakedness was not only the absence of clothing, but was the removal of all the pretenses he’d carefully maintained for so long. His expression was filled with worry and fear as he deliberately avoided looking at me. I could only guess that he was afraid he’d see repulsion on my face. Did he really think that my love for him would waiver now that I knew his secret?
Unsure of the amount of stability in my legs, I nevertheless eased myself from my side of the bed and walked over to him, grabbing his arm so he’d have to turn toward me. I stood on my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around his neck. After a chaste kiss, I looked up into his eyes.
“I love all of you and nothing will change that.”
Ben brought his lips back down to mine, and what started as another gentle and hesitant kiss grew into something warmer and more passionate. It felt like a wall came down and I could feel the relief in him as his arms came around me and the tension in his shoulders eased. He could finally relax now that I knew everything about him and still loved him without hesitation.
Ben picked me up with his hands gripping eagerly on my bottom as he laid me on the bed. He kissed a path down my nightgown until he got to my stomach. He looked up as he kissed my belly again and there was so much warmth and love in his eyes that all my anxiety melted away with a sigh.
He slowly kissed and caressed his way back up until he was above me. His fingers softly stroked the side of my face and pushed my hair to the side.
“I love you so much, and I can’t wait to hold our baby,” he said softly. Pressing himself into me he kissed me with a hunger that caused heat to flow from my head all the way down to my toes. I grabbed his back and pulled him closer to me, meeting him thrust for thrust as I felt a single relieved run down my cheek. Ben had finally said the words I’d been longing to hear.
C
hapter Seven
The next morning I woke up feeling fully rested and ready to take on the day. It was nice being able to sleep in until ten a.m. on a weekday. Ben must have asked his partner, John, to cover his morning appointments because he was still in bed with an arm wrapped tightly around me. Now it made since why he was an animal lover and seemed to know more about them than anyone I'd ever met. He probably had quite the advantage in veterinary school, too.
I laid in bed thinking about all I had learned in the past twenty-four hours, and how my life would never be the same as it had been when I woke up yesterday morning. These could be happy changes, though. Who could have guessed that my life would go from boring to outrageous in just one day?
I reached down and rubbed my now flat stomach, imaging the little person we’d created growing in there right this moment. A little person that I already loved and knew was going to overwhelm our hearts. Oh God, I’m going to be sick!
I jumped up out of bed and made it to the toilet just in time. Well, this morning sickness part was already getting old. How the heck was I going to be able to do anything for the next nine months if I’m stuck in the bathroom hugging the toilet? I’ve got to find a doctor and soon to get some relief. After the yakking was over I went ahead and took my morning shower, and rigorously brushed my teeth twice to wash away the yuckiness of being sick.
After I finished drying my long blonde hair I could smell pancakes and coffee coming from the kitchen. Maybe putting something in my stomach would help the sickness. I tried to convince myself I needed to eat something since I was responsible for someone else now.
“Thanks for making breakfast,” I said to Ben as I walked into the kitchen. I hated the very small but apparent awkwardness in the room that had never been there before. E
ven after last night I still think Ben was worried that I was going to come to my senses and run away screaming. I knew it was going to just take time for him to believe that nothing had changed, and I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Good morning,” he answered. “And you’re welcome. I know you were sick this morning and I wanted to make you something to try and settle your stomach. If you don’t want anything I understand,” he said without his normal enthusiasm as he made an Eifel Tower out of pancakes.
“No, I was just thinking I need to try and eat something to see if I’d feel better. Since I’ve got the day off I’m going to try and find a doctor and get an appointment.” I stood on my tippy toes and gave him a kiss. Nothing was sexier than seeing him cook for me.
I piled a few pancakes on a plate and poured some syrup on them. Grabbing a cup of orange juice I went and sat down in my chair at the dining room table. I slowly and cautiously tried to eat a few bites.
“So, what’s your plan for the day?” I asked Ben as he settled into his chair across the table from me.
He winced. “I probably need to head into work this afternoon,” he said and then added, “unless you want me to stay home with you?”
I knew how busy his clinic was, and the sick cats and dogs needed him more this afternoon than me. “No, you should go. I’ll be fine, but when do you think we should go see our parents and tell them the news?”
“I’ll see if we can have dinner with my parents tomorrow if you want to go see your parents tonight?”
I was glad we were going to tell my parents first. I was about to bust having to keep it from them. “Sounds like a plan. How do you think they’ll take the news?” I asked as I forked anther mouthful of pancake in.
