Crushed

by Pratt, Lulu

  I’d daydreamed Jacob had a crush on me the entire school year, though we’d barely had more than a simple conversation. He was the most popular and handsome boy in the fifth grade, dominating all recess sports and winning most of the trophies at the end-of-the-year athletic tournaments.

  It wasn’t until he came to me with a personalized invitation that I learned he cared whether I attended or not. Drawn in large red marker, my name looked even prettier in his carefully constructed block letters. It was the most exciting day in my life up until that point.

  I was the talk of recess, as word got around that Jacob had invited me to the party of the century with a personalized invitation. All my friends were thrilled, asking what I would wear and retelling me their wardrobe plans. It should have been an exciting time, but I was filled with anxiety.

  Even then, I knew my brother would not react warmly to my hanging out with friends, especially non-female ones. He was so overprotective after my parents passed away. I understood it because we had lost so much, it was only right that he held tight to the things he could control.

  Our world had been flipped upside down without anyone checking to see how we felt about things. We never asked to move from our childhood home or to live with our uncle, but we didn’t have a say in what happened to us. In court hearings, they would talk over us, never asking Marshall or myself how things were or if we had an opinion about our lives.

  It was a very confusing time for me as a child, but Marshall was a teenager who thought he knew what he wanted. In his mind, his opinion was worth consideration, but no one listened.

  When it came to me, he was the authoritarian, and because I understood his love for me, I accepted it. At times, I even enjoyed his overprotective nature. He was my bodyguard, always ready to defend me. No one ever picked on me in school, because everyone knew my brother would rush to my defense without question.

  When I nervously explained Jacob’s end-of-the-year pool party, Marshall explained there was absolutely no way he would allow me to attend the party without him. I was devastated. No one else would have an eighteen-year-old chaperone accompanying them.

  Rather than being humiliated, I chose not to attend at all. The older I got, the more obnoxious his approach was. And my absence from school activities became a trend. I was constantly the one turning down offers, rejecting suitors, and sitting out from school trips.

  Now, he was threatening to ruin my celebration for finally getting the job I’d dreamed about for the better part of two years. Jackie had a plan for us to spend the night not far from our house, which I thought would calm Marshall’s anxiety, but he was still forcing himself into my plans uninvited.

  “Charlotte, you’re being unreasonable. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” Marshall argued for the dozenth time. We had been going back and forth for the past ten minutes as I fought for an inch of independence.

  “This is absurd! I am twenty years old, for crying out loud! I can handle myself for one night!” I yelled, exhausted with the repetitive argument we had every time I wanted to have a life.

  “I know you can,” he sighed, rubbing his eyebrows. His anxiety was palpable. I could see the tension in his forehead at the thought of me being out of his sight, possibly in trouble he couldn’t fix.

  “Then why do you need to tag along? Let me and Jackie have our fun! You’re going to hover over us the whole night, and I won’t have any.”

  It had happened before. Marshall regularly accompanied me out to events and restaurants. My friends never saw it as strange as I did. My brother was attractive and fit – they tended to like his presence, flirting at every opportunity. But to me, it was humiliating. I hated being treated like a child, chaperoned when my peers were living fully independent lives.

  “I won’t be hovering, Lottie,” he tried for a softer tone, using my nickname.

  “You always hover,” I reminded him as I rolled my eyes.

  We both knew he would have nothing else to do. He hated the club, so finding his own fun wasn’t a possibility. He would undoubtedly stand behind me the entire night, scaring off any possible conversations. Still, I could feel myself ready to give in to him, already tired of fighting. It was our normal routine, but I was tired of it.

  “Ford said he’ll come as well. So, I’ll have someone to talk to. We’ll give you your space, I promise.”

  “Whatever! I’m going to get dressed.” I tried to sound as upset as possible before storming off. As I began to climb the stairs, I yelled down to further convince him of my frustration. “We’re leaving at nine. If you’re not ready, we’re leaving you!”

  “We’ll be ready!” Marshall replied, matching my volume, just before I slammed my bedroom door.

  My heart raced with excitement at the thought of hanging out with Ford. Abruptly ending the argument with my brother was the only way to hide the crimson color I was sure would coat my cheeks. The mere mention of Ford’s name sent me into a frenzy, the feelings re-emerging with a vengeance.

  Deciding against the T-shirt and jeans I’d planned to wear, I discarded them from my bed, opening my closet to decide on another option. I wanted to impress Ford, without drawing too much attention to myself. With my hands on my hips, I carefully searched my closet without touching a single garment.

  Nothing felt good enough for a night out with Ford, but I decided on a low-cut black top with skinny jeans. Hoping to accentuate my curves, I turned, looking at my backside in the mirror before cupping my breasts, wondering if he would notice.

  I’d just decided on a pair of ballerina flats when I heard the front door open and close. My breathing stopped as I listened closely for his deep voice before my bedroom door flew open.

  “You look cute!” Jackie announced as she looked at me from head to toe.

  “Like, adorable cute or hot cute?” I asked, unsure of my decision.

  “What do you mean? You’re always hot stuff.” She licked the tip of her finger before touching her bum with a sizzling noise.

  “I’m serious!” I cried. “Marshall of course insists on accompanying us out tonight. But Ford is coming too. I want to look good for him.”

  “Ford Delvey is coming out with us tonight?”

  “Why do you always have to say his full name like he’s a Broadway actor or something?” I snapped, my nerves making me a bit cranky.

  “This is bigger than Broadway,” she argued, throwing her bag to my bed. “Charlotte, you need to give me carte blanche.”

  “What? Why?” I glanced at her reflection as I fought to untangle the tie from my hair. I worried for a second that she meant she wanted to test the waters with Ford, forgetting my feelings toward him. However, I could trust her, and I knew she would always have my back.

  “Please! I get to choose your hairstyle, outfit, shoes, everything,” she looked me up and down as she stated her demands. I’d never allowed her to dress me before. She was known to go a bit over the top in the clothing department.

  If there was ever a time for me to go out of my comfort zone, it was for a night out with Ford. I wanted him to see me in a way he never had before. Sick of being seen as Lottie, I wanted to introduce him to Charlotte, the woman who oozed sex appeal and turned necks when she walked down the street.

  “Can you promise to make me look sexier than you’ve ever seen me?” I asked nervously. I rarely even wore make-up, but I knew it would be a huge part of Jackie’s makeover.

  “Honey, when I’m done with you, Ford won’t know what hit him. He’ll be dreaming about you from tonight on,” she smirked.

  The idea of Ford dreaming about me was enough for me to submit to what I was sure would be a drastic change. It was what I needed, a graduation into the woman I was becoming. I was finally launching the career of my dreams, going after the life I wanted. The new job was only the beginning and I wanted to look like the woman I imagined myself becoming.

  “Okay, let’s do this.” I smiled before sitting in the chair of my vanity. Eager t
o see the improved version of myself, I took a deep breath. Jackie smiled behind me, her hair and make-up already styled perfectly, accentuating the mini dress and high heels she was known for. I only hoped I could pull off the look as flawlessly as she did.

  Chapter 10

  FORD

  “SO, YOU GET to be the boss you always wanted now, huh?” Marshall asked.

  I’d just finished telling him about my meeting at work. I was still on a high after delivering such a well-received speech. I could tell my employees felt comfortable with me, and that was the most important. I didn’t want them intimidated by me in any way. While we would not be equals, I never wanted them to feel beneath me. I had been doing their job only a short while ago.

  “I guess so,” I said, taking a swig from my beer. “I still can’t believe I’m anyone’s boss.”

  “Tell me about it,” Marshall chuckled. “Whenever I’m in the meetings with the higher ups, it feels like an out-of-body experience. Like, am I really supposed to be here?”

  “Exactly!” I laughed, drinking a bit more.

  We’d already had two beers each, finishing off the six pack. When I arrived, Marshall seemed tense, but since we began talking, he appeared to relax quite a bit. I couldn’t imagine how he felt with so much responsibility. I only had my job to worry about, but he had so much more.

  “Who would have ever thought the two jocks would be bossing people around?” Marshall laughed, raising his beer in the air, and I lifted my own to clink the glass.

  In high school, he was the star running back for the football team. I was the quarterback, and together we were unstoppable. Celebrated throughout the school, we led parades and pep rallies alike. Marshall could have gone to any college in the country, but he decided to stay home and take care of Charlotte.

  It was a humbling experience, realizing how different our lives were. I’d always known he had to care for his sister, prioritizing her over his own needs at times. But it was easy to forget that he never got time off. Unlike our friends with siblings, Marshall never got to have a childhood. As we graduated high school, the differences between us became impossible to ignore.

  “Charlotte! You said nine!” He called up the stairs before finishing his beer as we waited near the front door. Marshall was worried she would give him a hard time for being late, so he’d been closely watching the clock.

  I was finishing the last of my beer when Charlotte began strutting down the stairs. I almost choked at the sight of her. Nothing like the last time I saw her relaxed in the house – she was dressed to kill. Her legs appeared longer with the black stiletto heels that matched the short dress dangerously hugging her curves.

  I could hear the disapproval in Marshall’s grunt, but thankfully he didn’t say anything. Although he was extremely protective of his younger sister, he wasn’t controlling about her appearance.

  “Finished?” Marshall asked, nodding to my beer.

  “Yeah, uh, sure,” I stumbled through my words as Charlotte met us in the small landing.

  “Hi, Ford. You probably don’t remember me. We were really young…” the young woman started, her words rushing from her lips.

  “Of course I remember you, Jackie. I couldn’t believe you two are in contact,” I smiled, accepting her extended hand.

  Unlike Charlotte, Jackie still had the recognizable gleam in her eyes when she looked at me. I could see the young girl who used to fawn over me whenever I would come around. Charlotte, however, appeared less like the innocent schoolgirl with a crush.

  “Oh, well, you’re here with a high school buddy, why can’t I be here with mine?” Jackie blushed. “I just… Never mind. It’s good to see you.”

  “It’s good to see you too,” I smiled, squeezing a little so she would finally release my hand.

  “I need to get my, uh, things.” Jackie nervously announced before rushing back up the stairs.

  “I think you made her nervous,” Charlotte whispered in my ear. Her warm breath sent chills down my spine in the best way.

  “Dressed like that, you’re making me nervous,” I smirked.

  Her blonde hair was pinned up, with a few pieces hanging down her back seductively. The dress was tight fitting, but still very covered, revealing no cleavage. My body awakened for her, even as I fought for control.

  “I highly doubt I could ever make you nervous, Ford.” Charlotte rolled her eyes.

  Marshall returned from the kitchen gritting his teeth as he looked Charlotte over once more. He took a deep breath before speaking. “You know I’m having a hard time accepting you’re all grown up, right?”

  “You? Not wanting me to grow up? Nonsense!” Her words were laced with sarcasm.

  “Well, you look nice. And I’m very proud of you,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

  “Thanks, big bro,” Charlotte smiled.

  “Now it’s time to party!” Jackie called from the top of the steps.

  The bar Jackie had chosen was a short walk from the house, which was perfect since Marshall and I had already had a few beers. I liked the convenience of my new home when it came to getting to work, but I would love to have a home near downtown like Marshall. He was walking distance to everything.

  He had made one of the smartest decisions buying property so young in a neighborhood that experienced a boom in less than a decade. His property value must have skyrocketed. As we arrived at the bar, I made a mental note to ask my friend about his plans for the home.

  “Jackie, you already have something worked out here?” Marshall asked as we approached the door of the bar.

  “Yeah, let me just see if my friend is working yet,” she explained, walking towards the entrance. Marshall followed behind her while I waited with Charlotte, grateful for a moment alone with her.

  “I feel a little underdressed,” I leaned down to whisper in her ear, watching as she shivered just slightly. I wanted to tell her she did the same to me, but instead I just smiled with pride.

  “You’re fine,” she assured me with her comforting smile. “I’m just overdressed because Jackie got to pick out my clothes.”

  “You look nice.”

  “Did you come straight from work?” she asked.

  “I did. Does it look like it?”

  “Trust me, you look fine,” she reiterated. “I just can’t believe you live so far out. That drive has to be hell.”

  “I don’t have to make it too often. But speaking of work, I hear we’re celebrating a promotion for you,” I changed course, wanting to focus on her.

  “Not exactly. It’s a whole new job – I got the position at the bakery!” She blushed.

  “No way! Charlotte, are you serious?” I felt the excitement blooming my chest. I was so happy for her, I couldn’t even find the words to express myself.

  Without thinking, I wrapped her in my arms. “I am so proud of you, Lottie! That’s amazing!”

  “Thank you. You’re really not laying off this nickname, are you?” she giggled when I finally released her.

  “It’s a hard habit to break. Just give me some time,” I reasoned. “It’s the only name I’ve ever used for you.”

  “Come on, you two! We’re all set up!” Jackie called from the front door. She looked at Charlotte, and the women appeared to share a silent exchange I wasn’t privileged to.

  Following Charlotte inside, we were led to a small round table with a silver ice bucket placed atop. A bottle of Moët stood in a bottle of ice as we all squeezed into the booth surrounding the table. Marshall sat on the end, and I sat beside him. To my right was Charlotte, and Jackie had the other end.

  “Charlotte’s underage. I don’t want any trouble!” Marshall insisted when Jackie began pouring the Champagne.

  “Come on, Marshall. She can have one sip,” I urged.

  “It’s fine,” she pushed at my arm. “Excuse me, can I please have a virgin mojito?” she called to the waiter who nodded before scurrying off.

  Marshall didn’t bat an ey
e, but I couldn’t help but to wonder how he could be so strict on her when the two of us used to sneak drinks every weekend in high school. Charlotte was an adult, and he still treated her as a child.

  “Trust me, it’s not worth the fight,” she whispered to me when the waiter returned with her drink.

  As we lifted our glasses in celebration of Charlotte’s achievement, I couldn’t stop thinking that it might just be worth the fight. If she was ever going to be treated like an adult, it would have to be because she demanded it. Living away from my friend, I hadn’t been able to see how restricting he was on her life. In a way, I felt bad for her as she maintained her smile, happy to be celebrating at all.

  Chapter 11

  CHARLOTTE

  “SORRY, I DIDN’T know he wouldn’t let you have any,” Jackie whispered. Ford had made a similar statement, though Marshall seemed to ignore it.

  My brother was overbearing, but I wasn’t going to let that spoil my time. It was a huge day for me, and I was celebrating just as I’d wanted to. Jackie had helped me accomplish my goal of shocking Ford – I could see the desire on his face when I walked down the steps.

  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine leaving Ford Delvey tongue-tied, but that was exactly what happened. Just thinking about it left me in giggles.

  “What’s so funny?” Ford leaned over, whispering in my ear.

  The DJs had changed, shifting to the night crowd. Before, it was happy hour, which allowed for more of a lounge feel. It was turning into a full-on nightclub now, with music blaring from every possible angle. I hoped the loud distraction could hide the shudder that waved through my body whenever Ford talked so close. His voice was deep and commanding, his aroma like rosewood, calm and warm.

  “Just thinking of you earlier,” I admitted.

  “Thinking of your turtle?” he yelled back.

  “No! Thinking of you earlier!” I managed through giggles, amused at his failed translation.