Crushed

by Pratt, Lulu

  It was my fantasy in live form, happening right before my eyes. Pressing against him, I felt a strong wave building in my body as another moan escaped me. I was calling for him, pressing for more.

  “Right there,” I heard myself say, more like a cry. My hormones raged as the waves grew bigger, stronger, within me.

  Ford was his normal calm self, his handsome face watching me closely, making sure I was satisfied. It was the most intense physical pleasure I had ever experienced, our body pressed so closely there was no space left between us.

  “Yes! Yes!” I called through my panting, feeling like a collision of sensation was happening deep in the pit of my stomach.

  A strange sound caught my attention, disrupting my focus as Ford moved further and further away. My arm stretched to reach for him as his image faded slowly. The noise became more clear until the knocking was undeniable.

  Glancing from one side of the room to the other, I assured myself I was alone, though my mind believed otherwise.

  It was all so real, so new, something I’d never felt before. But accepting it as a fantasy felt impossible. No, I had felt Ford, his kisses and his tight grip. My heart still raced as the knock on the front door sounded again. Throwing the covers off my body, I noticed the slickness between my legs was real before rushing to the door.

  “You’re still sleep? Must have been a long night,” Jackie smirked when I opened the front door.

  “God, I wish,” I shook my head, hoping the embarrassment wasn’t evident by my cheeks as I led the way up to my bedroom.

  “Is Marshall here?” she asked quietly. “I didn’t see his car.”

  “No, he had to work,” I answered gratefully. I knew I would need privacy to share the details with my best friend.

  Even with my brother gone, I still locked my bedroom door behind me, throwing the comforter on the bed quickly as Jackie plopped into the chair near the window.

  “Come on! I need details!” she urged. A smile broke out on my face as I recalled the details, unsure of how much I should share with her. She was my closest friend, but I was embarrassed to retell how bold I had been the previous night.

  “Just tell me this,” she sat up, perched on the edge of her seat with anticipation. “Did it happen?”

  “I wish,” I sighed, falling backwards onto the bed dramatically as she laughed, leaning back in the chair.

  “Why are you torturing me? What happened? You two were all over each other in the club!” Her voice was high with excitement, as though she was the one finally enticing her crush.

  “He got me this,” I reached for the cupcake pendant hanging around my neck. Jackie quickly came to inspect it, her eyes lighting up as she focused on the gift.

  “Oh my God, that’s adorable!” she squealed, her bottom lip poking out.

  “I know,” I sighed again, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. “And he got me Champagne and strawberries.”

  “Strawberries? That sounds a little romantic to me,” she huffed, leaning forward on the bed.

  We sat together like we used to in grade school, swapping secrets. Only now, we were adults and the stakes were much higher. My feelings for Ford were more intense than anything I’d ever felt before. And the things I wanted to do to him were far from innocent.

  “So, he gave you the necklace when you came home?” Jackie pushed, still anxious for details.

  “Yeah, he had already given me the other stuff. I told him he had to come in to drink the Champagne with me. At first, I could tell he was nervous or apprehensive. But, he came, and that’s when he gave me the necklace,” I recounted, my finger still twirling the pendant. “I had baked a cake and offered him a piece.”

  “Right! The rainbow one. I saw your post. You know I want a slice,” she interjected with a smile. No one loved my cakes more than Jackie.

  “I think there’s still half a cake downstairs. Unless Marshall ate it all,” I shrugged. I blinked slowly, anxious about the next part of my story. “We had some cake and Champagne, and then he got to asking me if I was drunk because of the drinks he got us.”

  “He must not know I’ve been sneaking you drinks for months,” she piped up. We laughed, knowing how innocent everyone thought I was, contrary to the mischief I stayed in with Jackie.

  “I told him it wasn’t a big deal. They were nothing compared to the straight shots you usually get.”

  “I know. We have to ask him what they’re called again,” she frowned, searching for the name.

  “Kamikaze,” I said without hesitation. Everything about the night was ingrained in my memory forever.

  “Okay, so you get back, cake and Champagne, blah blah blah,” she pushed me on again.

  “Right,” I paused, pushing my hair behind my ear. “So, then we kissed.”

  Jackie yelped before I could continue. “You did not!”

  “We did. And it was soooo good,” I leaned into her, certain my cheeks were fire red.

  “Charlotte?” My brother’s voice barked up the steps. Jackie and I each sucked in our breath, wondering how much he’d heard.

  “Yeah, I’m in my room with Jackie,” I called back.

  “Do you want to grab lunch?” he asked, his footsteps announcing his movement up the stairs.

  “I can’t. Me and Jackie are going to the mall.” I shrugged as the confusion bent her eyebrows. We didn’t have plans, but the last thing I wanted was to sit with my brother when all I could think about was his best friend.

  “Okay, then do you mind if I go back out for a while?” He called through the door.

  “No, that’s cool. Have fun!”

  “All right, but I didn’t forget about your birthday. You know I wanted to be there, right?”

  Hearing his regret, I went to the door, cracking it just wide enough to show my face. “You don’t need to worry about that. I just wanted to hang with my bestie. You know, a little girl time.”

  “All right, well, take this and have fun,” he extended his hand holding a greeting card.

  “Aww, thanks,” I smiled, opening the door. Wrapping my arms around my big brother, I felt a mix of guilt and love for the man who had sacrificed everything for me.

  “Have fun, but behave yourself, Lottie.”

  I was so emotionally torn, I didn’t even reprimand him for using my nickname. Instead, I promised I would behave myself before watching him leave again, his trust restored.

  Chapter 18

  FORD

  THE HOUSE LOOKED much different in the daytime. When Marshall invited me over, I was nervous about seeing Charlotte again, but unable to turn down the opportunity. I’d thought of nothing but her over the past few hours, convincing myself it all actually happened.

  “Yeah, man. I was going to suggest we go to a bar,” Marshall began, leading his way to the kitchen. My eyes glanced in every room quickly, praying I would find Charlotte in the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be found. “But Charlotte decided to go out with Jackie.”

  “Oh, I see,” I managed as my friend opened the refrigerator and handed me a beer.

  “I know it has to be annoying with her and her friend still tagging along. Not much has changed in my life when it comes to those two,” he chuckled before taking a swig of beer.

  It was something that impressed me about Jackie. She cared about Charlotte. It was evident in how far she went to celebrate her twice in one week. There was a true connection between them. Guys could be friends forever without issue, but women had more drama to deal with. Obviously, that wasn’t the case for Jackie and Charlotte.

  “Jackie’s the best,” Marshall shook his head. “She looks out for Charlotte like I would. Those two are thick as thieves. Sometimes they remind me of us.”

  He went on to tell me about his night, and how he was able to get off early. Apparently, there was a flood in one of the major banks downtown and they decided to close all the branches for security reasons.

  “Wow, that’s crazy,” I said. But my thoughts were actually of disappo
intment. I wished my friend hadn’t come home, but also knew that he hadn’t I might have taken things too far.

  When it came to Charlotte, I felt out of control of myself, like she could have anything she wanted. Just a look from her sent my better judgment fleeting. I was weak for her, something I’d never dealt with. Of course, I’d been attractive to women before, but nothing like the way I was drawn to her. It was deeper than physical attraction. With her, I felt a stronger connection, one I couldn’t identify or tamper with. She had me wrapped around her finger, whether she knew it or not.

  “Oh come on, I know it wasn’t that bad,” Marshall tapped me.

  “Huh? What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

  “I asked how the night was and you spaced out,” he laughed, sipping beer as he led the way to the living room.

  I followed in a daze, unsure of what I could share with him. It was the first time I’d hid anything from Marshall. The distance between us while I was living in Minneapolis for four years meant there were plenty of details that went untold in our lives. There just wasn’t time and energy to recount every name and event, but there was never any hiding.

  Now, I had to comb over my thoughts carefully before saying a word. The last thing I wanted was to let on to how I really felt about the night, what really happened, or what I had been thinking about all day.

  “It was a nice club,” I nodded, focusing on the details.

  “Yeah, Jackie is good for that. She has all the connections,” he said, reaching for the remote to the TV before turning to a basketball game.

  “She had a whole VIP section all roped off for Charlotte, it was nice.”

  “That’s cool. I’m sure she felt like a big shot,” Marshall laughed.

  “Yeah, she was on top of the world,” I said, catching the grin before it spread too wide recalling how beautiful Charlotte looked in her dress.

  “How were they, though?” Marshall asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like, you know, did they get wild or anything?”

  “Oh, no,” I shook my head, but the words wouldn’t come. I was stuck replaying the night, pushing Charlotte against the refrigerator, hearing her moan so close to my ear. My body still recalled every inch of hers, hungry to feel more. “It wasn’t the type of place that gets crazy.”

  “Good. Charlotte isn’t ready for that kind of crowd,” he assured me.

  “Yeah,” I looked away, unable to face my best friend.

  “It’s crazy that we were those wild guys, and now I’m trying to keep them away from my sister,” he joked, but it stung.

  “Yeah, times have changed.”

  “I know, right? Who would’ve ever thought we’d become the men we are. I mean, you’re heading a whole department at the damn airport!” It seemed he was going to congratulate me at every interaction. I could see the pride in his eyes as he smiled at me.

  “And you’re the head of security at the biggest bank in the city. Who let us in charge?” I teased, nudging his shoulders.

  “Seriously, though,” he straightened, his laughter easing away. “I really want my sister to find someone like us, you know? We were always down for a little trouble, but we knew what we wanted and we went after that shit!”

  I nodded.

  It was awkward and ironic, knowing how I felt about his sister. Knowing he would want Charlotte with someone like me gave me some level of relief, though I knew I was misconstruing his words for the approval I would never receive. Marshall would never want us together. I only wished that was enough to silence the cravings building within me.

  “I’m just happy you’re home, dude. I’m glad you went there to build your career, but you belong here.”

  “I’m happy to be home. Minneapolis is cool, but no place is like home,” I agreed, and we clinked the beer bottles in celebration before Marshall excused himself.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I watched him close the bathroom door behind him before reaching for my cell phone. I had been thinking of Charlotte since I left here the previous night. After the buildup of nerves thinking I might see her, it was a major disappointment when she wasn’t home.

  She was now the main reason I was happy to be back in Cincinnati, and I had to know how she felt about our night. Was it the alcohol that made her behave that way, or would the same fire burn between us in the daylight? I had to find the answers.

  Marshall was right, I had never been one to sit back and let things happen to me. If there was ever something I wanted, I went after it with everything I had. And nothing had ever tugged at my desires like Charlotte. She dominated my thoughts, with memories of her feel and taste rushing through my mind.

  For better or worse, she had changed me. I knew what I wanted now, and I was damn sure going to do everything in my power to get her. Marshall may not have wanted us together, but I was determined to get her first and worry about that later. Besides, we would always find a way to work through our differences.

  “Want another beer?” he asked after returning from the restroom.

  “Uh, yeah,” I answered, only to give myself a few more seconds while I tapped away on my phone, texting his little sister. It was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself or feel a drop of guilt. We had started something and I just had to know how it would end, if at all.

  Chapter 19

  CHARLOTTE

  JACKIE WAS undoubtedly the more fashionable of the two of us. She could spend hours in the mall without complaining, and today she planned to do just that. We’d already been shopping for two hours when we made our way to the largest department store in the mall.

  Claiming it was for her job, Jackie piled on one outfit after another before heading to the shoe department. There wasn’t a floor she didn’t need to look through, scouring every rack for a deal as she struggled to manage the shopping bags she’d already acquired.

  “If you buy anything else, that credit card is going to melt,” I warned. Unlike me, my best friend didn’t have to worry about saving for a rainy day. Her parents spoiled her, so she spent her paychecks just as she had her allowance all those years ago.

  Marshall had always taught me that we had to look out for ourselves and our future. So, I made sure to set aside the majority of my paychecks, although the rainy day had never occurred. Now, I had a lump sum stored away in my savings with no plans to spend it.

  The way I saw it, it was better to be safe than to be sorry. Plus, there was rarely a time I wanted things in the way Jackie constantly craved the latest fashions. I didn’t care as much about the clothes I wore. Unlike her, I didn’t showcase my outfit every day. Instead, I covered it behind an apron, usually dusted in flour and smeared in buttercream.

  “Well, if you’re just going to sit there, can you at least hold these?” Jackie asked as I settled onto the bench outside the dressing room.

  “Seriously?” I rolled my eyes, feigning annoyance.

  “I’m just going to try these on and then I’m done here,” she said, holding an armful of dresses.

  “Here?” I repeated the key part of her sentence.

  “Charlotte, don’t start. I can’t believe you’re still like this,” she laughed as she made her way into the dressing room.

  She was right, I’d always hated shopping. When we were in school, we would get dropped off at the mall and wander about for hours. Even then, I hated shopping.

  Once, Jackie thought it was because I didn’t have any money to spend, so she agreed to split her allowance with me, but was upset when I decided not to buy anything. I had to explain to her that I had some spending money, I just didn’t want to buy anything. She couldn’t understand it then, and apparently the concept was still strange to her.

  My phone vibrated and I reached in my pocket to see a text from a number that looked familiar.

  Just checking in on you after your first legal night of drinking

  A smile spread across my face, certain of the sender. I’d gone through Marshall’s phone while he was
busy the other day to get Ford’s number. I felt bad for doing that, but I reasoned that Marshall had done the same to me several times, although for different reasons. Afraid to save Ford’s number, for fear of Marshall seeing his name on my caller id, I’d remembered it subconsciously.

  I didn’t even feel buzzed this morning. I told you I was fine.

  I was still smiling as I slid the phone back into my pocket, but it vibrated again. He was a quick responder. I liked that.

  You know who this is, right?

  I sure hope so. Otherwise this could get awkward. I smiled as I pressed send, watching the phone as it displayed him actively typing.

  And we wouldn’t want things to get awkward…

  There was a brief pause as I searched for a witty response. Unwilling to wait, Ford texted again before I could reply. Did you have a good birthday?

  It was cool. I didn’t get what I wanted, I answered, biting my lip as I anxiously awaited his reply.

  My heart was racing, wondering if I would reveal to him what I really wanted for my birthday. It was all I thought about, wondering when I would see him next. It hadn’t crossed my mind to text him, but now that he had, I was giddy awaiting his response.

  “What do you think of this one?” Jackie asked as she strutted in front of the tri-fold mirror. It was another pencil skirt with a matching blazer. She had to have the set in every color and length by now. It was what she called her signature look. I always joked that my signature look must be a T-shirt and jeans.

  “It looks nice. Like the other ones,” I shrugged.

  Jackie looked at me with daggers. “Charlotte, this one is totally different. See, the peplum,” she pointed to the extra fabric at the bottom of the blazer.

  “Oh, yeah, I see,” I nodded quickly and we both laughed.

  “You’re the worst. Okay, let me put my clothes back on and we’ll get out of here,” she smiled before returning to the dressing room.