Crushed

by Pratt, Lulu

  “HEY, FORD!” Sam called after me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Glancing at my watch, I tried to calculate the driving time to pick Charlotte up from work. I hated the idea of making her wait. Plus, I’d been counting down the hours all day to see her again.

  “It won’t take long,” Sam added, and I nodded before following him into his office. He was the director of the program I supervised, a bit of a peer and ally. While I worked directly with the mechanics, Sam focused more on the management and HR side of things, making sure team morale was high and everyone had all they needed to be successful.

  “Sorry to call you in at the end of the day like this. I know you have plans, but I couldn’t catch up to you earlier in the day.”

  “Oh, yeah. I went with the team for a training session,” I explained. It had been a long day, but I liked getting my hands dirty and learning the new techniques. I never wanted to be a boss who couldn’t complete the tasks I assigned my employees.

  “That’s great that you’re so hands on,” Sam smiled while reaching for a folder. “I just wanted to follow up about your housing. Is everything okay with the townhouse?”

  “Oh yeah, everything’s great.” I relaxed. I hadn’t noticed the tension in my shoulders until they rolled back with relief. I had no idea what he would want to talk about, but hoped it wouldn’t be a complaint from a team member.

  “And all your things have arrived, right?” He asked, reading the paperwork.

  “I think so, yeah.”

  “Great.” Sam closed the folder, looking across his desk. “I know the townhouse can feel a bit small. Maybe you’ll want to upgrade as your family grows.”

  My chest bloomed thinking of Charlotte. I had always wanted a family, but never saw it in the cards for me. I wasn’t the type to want something generically, and without a woman in my life, I didn’t see children. Now, with Charlotte, I felt like I could have the dream life I’d always stopped myself from envisioning.

  With her, nothing felt off limits. She completed my life in a way that made me optimistic about everything. I wanted to give her the world. We talked endlessly about the type of life we would want together. I just hoped I could make it happen.

  “What are your rules about who lives with me?” I heard myself ask.

  “We want you to treat the home the same way you would a traditional rental. We encourage you to create the best home environment, with the hopes it will help you be a better leader here at the office.” Sam spoke like a training module.

  “I wanted to give you these booklets on creating a work-life balance, which is something we promote across the board. We want you to build a healthy and fulfilling social life outside of the office, just as much as we want you to meet your professional milestones.”

  It was clear he attended many seminars and conferences about human resources from the constant jargon he used. I figured he took his job seriously, which was something I respected.

  “Thanks,” I accepted the brochures, though my mind was elsewhere.

  Sam continued with more suggestions to maximize my new living space, but my thoughts focused on Charlotte. She’d been spending more and more time at my house. So much so, that I began to wonder if Marshall would be suspicious about her absence.

  Though she assured me he believed her excuse about working more and staying at Jackie’s, I didn’t like the dishonesty of it all. I didn’t want her to have to worry about getting caught in a lie. And the idea that she might not be able to stay the night with me for fear of revealing our relationship to her brother left me uneasy.

  I’d promised her not to say anything, and I didn’t plan on breaking that promise. But I needed to find a better solution to make sure things could stay as they were. I loved falling asleep holding Charlotte in my arms, and waking up with her was a dream.

  I felt like I was growing up, becoming the man I’d always wanted to be. Getting ready in the morning side by side, each of us working towards our dream jobs, it was a glimpse into the future I wanted for myself.

  Charlotte was doing great at the bakery, just as I knew she would. And Sam had informed me that I was testing off the charts with my subordinates. Everything was going great, and in a way I didn’t want to mess with the recipe if it didn’t need improving.

  But in the back of my mind, there was always a calling for more with Charlotte. I just couldn’t get enough of her. My hunger never seemed to fade, but instead intensify as time went on. I was even more attracted to her now that she was mine than I had been the first time I saw her.

  “That’s really all I wanted. We’re so happy to have you on the team, Ford. I just wanted to let you know I’m always here as a resource.” Sam jolted my thoughts.

  “Thanks again, man. I appreciate it.” I smiled, extending my hand to accept his before I turned to leave his office.

  “I try to get around and visit every new team member at their home within their first week. Sorry, I missed that deadline with you. It’s been a bit hectic here,” he said as he walked me out his office.

  “Don’t worry, I understand,” I assured him.

  “Maybe I’ll be able to get by this weekend,” he continued.

  “Sure thing. Just stop by whenever you’re free.”

  I left Sam’s office, but our conversation replayed in my mind the entire ride across the city. Charlotte tried to talk me out of what she called a chore, driving so far after my workday. She thought it was too much to ask, but I insisted. What she called a chore was the highlight of my day.

  The only thing I wished to change was where I would be taking her. I wanted her to be going to my house, where we would spend the evening together as we did most nights. Quickly, Charlotte had become a fixture in my house. She’d taken it upon herself to help with the unpacking. I doubted would ever be completed without her.

  The traffic of rush hour was beginning to thicken on my way across town. Cars loaded onto the highway nonstop, all rushing to get home to their families, or maybe on to pick up their children from school. For the second time in the hour, I began to wonder about the life I used to fear even dreaming.

  Living in Minnesota, I could never see too far into the future. While everything I did day to day, from my job to my company car and accommodation, seemed in direct sacrifice of the future, what it would look like was impossible to envision.

  How could I dream of some happily ever after when I spent all my nights alone? Even on the random nights when I did find myself with a woman, I was gone before the sun came up. Too much alone time felt strange, the intimacy ill fitting.

  I never saw a future with the women I entertained in Minneapolis. I guess, in part, it was the reason I never sought anything further. It was never more than sex. So, my mind never went past our time together.

  It had nothing to do with me fearing commitment, or running from relationships, as my mother would argue. I just didn’t have a connection with them, not like she and my father had. Their connection was once in a lifetime. And I wasn’t going to settle for anything less.

  That thought was dominated my mind when I pulled into the small employee parking lot at the back of Josephine’s Bakery. Charlotte lit up when she spotted my car, rising from the bench she sat on to meet me at the curb.

  “Hi,” she warmly greeted me as she settled into the passenger seat. Leaning across the console, she kissed me softly, sending tingles up my spine. I still couldn’t make sense of the effect she had on me. In all the time we’d spent together, it hadn’t dampened in the least bit. If anything, her hold on me was stronger.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked, leaning back as her button nose crinkled with curiosity.

  “Nothing,” I lied, looking away, but still unable to pull out of the parking lot. My stomach was in knots with a feeling of desire I wasn’t used to. Charlotte sat only a few feet away from me, and yet I wanted more of her. Always more. I just couldn’t get enough of her.

  “Ford, I know you well enough to know wh
en something’s bothering you,” she said sweetly.

  Again, I hesitated, though I knew she was right. There was no need in hiding what would only bubble to the surface eventually. I could never deny anything around Charlotte. Not when I wanted to share my life with her.

  “Move in with me,” I blurted. Charlotte’s small gasp sent a smirk spreading across my face, one she reciprocated as the car behind me beeped loudly, signaling me to move from the parking lot.

  Chapter 27

  CHARLOTTE

  SLOWLY, FORD pulled away from the curb as the driver behind us grew impatient. My heart was racing as his words replayed in my mind. The fairy tale I’d been dreaming of felt more real by the second. Spending every morning and night with Ford was the most romantic idea I could think of. Never would I have wanted to push such a commitment onto him, but hearing the suggestion left me feeling special, with butterflies fluttering in my belly.

  Pulling to the side of the parking lot, Ford turned to me as he parked the car. I was speechless, too excited to find words. My mind was already decorating his living room and finding a cute chair to sit beneath the window in his spare bedroom, a reading nook for a rainy day. I wanted so badly to make a life with him, and knowing he wanted the same thing was overwhelming.

  Thinking of my own bedroom, I began to mentally take inventory of my things, wondering how and where they would fit into Ford’s home. It was the merging of two lives, a step in the right direction for sure.

  Just as my heartbeat was beginning to regulate, and the butterflies calmed in my belly, I was slapped with a reality I had tried my best to push to the back of my mind. “What about Marshall?” I asked aloud.

  It was the elephant in the room that neither Ford nor myself had brought up since we began seeing each other. I knew Marshall would never approve of the two of us being together.

  Marshall was beyond overprotective of me, so much that I had never had a proper relationship. He didn’t approve of anyone for me, and I knew his best friend would be no different. I’d stalled Ford from telling him simply to buy us more time. I knew my brother would never come along, so I didn’t want to give him the freedom to ruin what was so special to me.

  “I know,” Ford bit his bottom lip.

  “Ford,” I tried, but he covered my hand with his, silencing me.

  “He’s my friend, and the longer we keep things from him, the worse it will be when we do break it to him. Besides, I hate the idea of you being a secret. How I feel about you is too special to keep hidden.”

  His revelation sent chills up my spine. Looking away, I tried to fight the blush color from dominating my cheeks. I could feel my body temperature rise as his hand went to my thigh.

  “Can we just wait a while?” I said. “Promise me you won’t tell him about us behind my back.”

  “Of course. Speaking of us,” he squeezed my leg, commanding my attention. I turned to see the swirl of emotions in his gray eyes, hoping he could feel the same connection from me. “We were in such a rush the first night we were together, we never did discuss the details of what this is, meaning our relationship.”

  My breathing grew heavy, wondering where he was going. I’d often wondered what he considered us to be, if anything. We were too close to label as friends, but I knew how common it was for men to prefer not to label things at all.

  “I’m not sure how this works,” he bit his lip again. “Am I supposed to ask you to be my girlfriend?”

  A small giggle escaped me, watching the innocent look of curiosity curl his full lips into a smirk. Though it was hidden beneath his beard, I was certain he was blushing.

  “Is that what you want? For me to be your girlfriend?” I asked.

  “As far as I’m concerned, you are my girlfriend. I guess I just wanted to know if you’re okay with that,” he reasoned, his brows scrunching together.

  “Not the most romantic attempt,” I teased, placing my hand over his. “But, I’ll take it. Yes, I like being your girlfriend, Ford.”

  He chuckled, looking at me for an extra moment before shifting the car’s gears and finally leaving the parking lot. I doubted it would ever feel normal to me, being Ford’s girlfriend. With his hand still resting on my lap, he drove towards the highway, focusing on the road as I focused on him.

  He was so handsome, his jaw still defined beneath his full beard, which gave him a mysterious sexy edge. As my eyes trailed down his body, I felt privileged, knowing only I got to see the perfectly sculpted body beneath. My thighs pushed together as the memories of him walking towards me completely naked vividly resurfaced in my mind.

  Ford knew my body in ways I had yet to discover. He’d introduced me to my sexuality, showing me the pleasure of sharing myself. He was a patient lover, exploring my body with a curiosity that left me breathless, like I was the sexiest woman he’d ever been with. When we were together, I had no insecurities about my lack of experience.

  My inner sexual goddess came alive for Ford, a side of me that still shocked me. I’d never been a prude, but the things I did with Ford – the way I desired him, the things I wanted to do to him, shocked me.

  “Charlotte, I need to take you out,” Ford said.

  “Huh? What?” I turned quickly, afraid he could hear my thoughts.

  “What were you…” he started, pausing to glance at the road as a smile appeared on his face. “Baby, what were you thinking?”

  “What do you mean?” I stalled, blinking quickly, hoping to delay my answer.

  “You were totally spaced out,” he chuckled, glancing between me and the road. “And then when I said your name, you turned to me with this guilty look on your face.”

  I stared, stunned. At times, I felt so close to Ford that I believed I could read his thoughts. It turned out, he had the same skill. The realization left me feeling naked, and closer to him than I thought possible.

  “You said you need to take me out?” I finally answered, trying my best to keep a straight face as I avoided his question, refusing to admit the erotic memories filling my mind.

  “Yeah,” he smiled, glancing back at the road.

  “We’re nearly always together. What do you mean?” I pushed, unsure of his intention.

  “Yeah, we’re always together, but usually at my house. We’ve never even gone on a real date.” He glanced over to me with lustful eyes. It was true. We rarely left the house during our time together.

  Our chemistry was so strong, once we were in private, it was hard to pull away from the deep connection. All day, I daydreamed of our time alone, so it had never dawned on me to go out together. That was usually all I cared about with guys, where we could go and what we would do, but with Ford none of that seemed to matter. As long as I was with him, I was happy.

  “Well, that’s your fault,” I teased, smiling as he fought the urge to look towards me while watching the road.

  Traffic was piling up as Ford maneuvered through the city. I still couldn’t understand why he insisted on dealing with the onslaught of traffic daily, when he had no reason to be in the city other than to pick me up from work.

  I’d told him on more than one occasion that I could catch a ride with a friend from class, or with Jackie, or even catch the bus. Ford wouldn’t listen, though. He promised it wasn’t a chore, and from the smile he wore every day when he arrived at the bakery, I believed him.

  After a few days, I stopped protesting. Our car rides were one of the highlights of my day. I looked forward to Ford’s arrival from the moment I walked into work. While he claimed to do the same, I couldn’t believe he spent his days thinking of me. I knew Ford had an important job at the airport, in charge of a large team. I doubted he could possibly find time for little ol’ me.

  His hand slid across the center console, finding mine. Our fingers interlocked with ease, another layer of my security blanket. Relaxing, I rested against the headrest, exhaling deeply as the city passed by slowly. It was a dream. My fairy tale, to be heading home with Ford, the man of my dreams.
Glancing over, I smiled as he smiled back at me, his dimples evident through his beard. Everything felt perfect.

  Chapter 28

  FORD

  “WAIT, WE’RE going out now?” Charlotte asked as I pulled into the parking lot of a popular bar downtown.

  “What’s the point in putting it off?” I asked, parking the car. I debated the idea of first going home to change clothes, but doubted we would be able to leave after entering my house. It was the reason we haven’t been on one real date – the allure of being alone with Charlotte was too strong to reject.

  Watching her climb from the car, as I held the door open I began to regret my decision. Her jeans hugged her curves, and my mind flashed to a vivid memory of her naked. Knowing I was the only man who had ever seen her naked always got my blood pumping, my body hungry for my prize.

  “I’m a mess,” Charlotte mumbled under her breath as we walked towards the entrance of the bar. Running her hands across her T-shirt, she brushed a small bit of flour from the cotton, glancing at me with a playful frown.

  “You’re perfect,” I assured her, taking her hand as I led her through the thick crowd standing in the outdoor patio.

  Quickly, I scanned the faces turned to us. Everyone was looking at Charlotte. Even in her casual T-shirt and jeans with her hair in a ponytail, she turned heads. My pride swelled at the attention she garnered, knowing she was all mine. But, more than anything, I felt paranoia, wondering if anyone in the bar knew me, or Marshall.

  I hated to think of my best friend finding out about my relationship with his sister from someone other than me. We’d never kept secrets from each other, but I had to respect Charlotte’s wishes. If she wasn’t ready to reveal our relationship to her brother, I would have to keep it to myself. So, I examined the crowd with concern, hoping not to be spotted by a mutual friend.

  “Should we get a beer?” Charlotte asked as she led the way towards the bar area.

  “Whatever you want, babe,” I whispered, pulling her close before nuzzling her neck.