by Taylor Dean
“How are her spirits?” Caroline asks.
“Oh, you know, she’s up and down all the time. She tries to keep a positive attitude.”
“She hates it,” Blake says bluntly. “She’s miserable.”
Stony stiffens in his seat next to me and sets his fork down as if he’s lost his appetite. Clearly, not from the jello.
“Oh come now, don’t be so dramatic. She’s making the best of a hard situation. As are we all. Don’t feel bad, Stony. It’s not your fault.” Irene flashes her son a scolding look.
Of course it’s not Stony’s fault. Why would it be?
“She shouldn’t even be there.” Blake doesn’t look up, he continues shoveling food in his mouth. “Jace should’ve helped her.”
“There was nothing Jace could’ve done,” Irene says firmly. “He was still in law school and hadn’t even passed the bar exam yet. They keep him mighty busy up there in New York City. He doesn’t have much time.”
“So busy he can’t even remember the people he loves,” Blake says, looking at Shay, making no mistake that the comment is directed at her.
Shay’s face turns red. She averts her eyes and stares down at her plate.
“Do you and Jace still talk, Shay?” Irene asks.
“No, we don’t.” Shay’s voice is subdued.
Irene shakes her head. “Such a shame.”
“Jace doesn’t talk to anyone.” Blake takes a huge bite of sloppy joe.
“I told you, he’s a busy man,” Irene says again.
I find myself liking Blake. He calls it like he sees it and he doesn’t mince words. Both families hold their cards close to their chests and Blake is a breath of fresh air. A slightly odd breath of fresh air, but a breath of fresh air all the same.
Things are being hinted at and I’m clueless. I’m not quite sure what I’m missing, but I feel like I just joined a play during the last act. Are there things I should know? What in the world did Mia do and why is it never spoken of? Maybe it can only be whispered.
Then Irene turns her attention on me.
“What exactly do you do for Stony?” she asks.
“Bookkeeping, advertising, phone calls, cooking, cleaning, and whatever else he needs me to do.”
“I see,” she says.
And I think she does see exactly what is going on. Stony chooses that moment to reach out and hold my hand right there on top of the table. While I’m glad that he’s not trying to hide our relationship, it seems best to not flaunt it either. The situation is already tense as it is.
A look of extreme distaste crosses over Irene’s face. I know she doesn’t like me. Of course not. I’m stealing Mia’s foreordained spot, the one she was evidently born to fill and no one can ever take her place.
Well, move over. I’m here now.
Caroline breaks the tension by placing another serving of squash casserole and green beans on each of our plates without permission. “Have some more everyone. There’s plenty. The green beans and squash are fresh from my garden.” None of us are brave enough to object and hurt her feelings. It’s delicious, but my stomach is about to burst.
“A visit would be nice, Stony. Mia would appreciate it so much. It would mean the world to her and lift her spirits,” Irene says, her words cautious. “Of course, you are under no obligation.”
“We’ll see,” Stony says politely, neither committing nor declining.
I wonder why he doesn’t just decline. A visit to Mia might imply he wants to continue their relationship. And he said they’re over. Why give her hope?
Again, I feel like I’m missing something.
“Stony doesn’t owe Mia a visit,” Blake says, the only one able to knock down his generous second helpings and not seem bothered by it. “Stony doesn’t owe Mia anything.”
“I’m not saying he does. I just said it would be nice. For friendship’s sake.” Irene glares at Blake.
“You’re matchmaking, Mother. Stony has moved on. Leave him alone.”
Flustered, Irene says, “This is his employee, not his girlfriend.”
“Actually,” Stony says as he places his arm around me. “She’s both.” He says it quietly, in a kind manner. Without saying it word for word, he just declared us a couple. I love him for it.
Irene’s lips tighten and her eyes narrow.
I decide to ignore her because I haven’t done anything wrong and I refuse to be made to feel as though I have. I didn’t come between Stony and Mia, they were over before I ever arrived on the scene.
Then Irene adds, “Well, we never know what will happen in the future, do we?”
She just pegged my Achilles’ heel. I worry about Mia’s return constantly. I don’t even know when it will be. And I have no idea what the future holds for me and Stony. Although things are perfect between us, we haven’t talked about what will happen in the fall and I’m feeling insecure.
Irene looks me straight in the eyes. “Stony and my Mia were high school sweethearts, you know. They made the cutest couple. Everyone thought so, didn’t they, Caro?”
Caroline looks as though she’d like to avoid the question. She rearranges a few things on the dining table with nervous energy. ”Oh yes, but that was a long time ago.” Then Caroline smiles at me. “And Stony and Spencer make a lovely couple.”
I love that Caroline is trying to make me feel better.
Irene smirks at me with an odd sort of confidence. “They were engaged to be married as well. I’m sure things will work themselves out when Mia returns home. Won’t they, Stony?”
“Things will work out for the best,” Stony says, being polite and evasive at the same time. He also pulls me just a little closer to him and kisses my forehead. I feel like his actions are speaking for him and I don’t mind a bit.
Irene watches with a bit of a frown. Her expression says she’d throw daggers at me if she could. I don’t think she’s trying to be necessarily cruel to me, I think she just wants her daughter to marry Stony. She strikes me as a mama bear. I grew up with one of those, so I understand her.
Blake intervenes. “Hey Mom, why don’t we change the subject?”
Good idea.
Caroline stands rather abruptly to diffuse the situation. She claps her hands once and says, “I hope you all saved room for dessert.”
A collective moan fills the room. I don’t care how full I am, I’ll knock down my dessert quickly. Anything to get to the end of this dinner.
WE ENTER THE motorhome and Stony flips on the lights. The silent drive home felt louder than any conversation we’ve ever had. I head toward the bathroom and Stony stops me.
“Spencer.”
I don’t turn around.
“I know that was uncomfortable for you.”
“Yeah, it was.”
After a deep breath, he says, “I’m really sorry. Irene shouldn’t have said those things to you. I think she just misses her daughter. She’s not usually a rude person.”
“Why do I feel like I’m missing something?”
“Nothing to miss. Just a bad breakup and a bundle of bitter feelings. You witnessed some of that bitterness tonight.”
I let out my breath. I feel like escaping to the privacy of the bathroom and having a good cry. But what am I crying over? I’m not sure. Fear of the unknown future maybe.
“I wasn’t expecting this to be so hard.” I’m not going to ask him to reassure me again. He already has. I need to somehow overcome my insecurities. I’m just not sure how. Jealousy is a much stronger emotion than I gave it credit for.
“Are you angry with me?”
“No, I’m not angry with you. I just feel left out. The thing is I’m not even sure what I’ve been left out of.” I didn’t mean to be sulky on the drive home. My thoughts consumed me as I dwelled on our afternoon. Before I knew it, we were home.
And now my back is to him as he tries to talk to me. What am I doing? I hate this wedge between us.
“I really am sorry about Irene. She’d like to see Mia and I
get back together.”
“You think?”
Silence meets me and I wish I hadn’t let that sarcastic remark slip out. Stony stayed by my side every second during dinner and he wasn’t shy about broadcasting that we are a couple. He was very affectionate, not overly so as if he were putting on a show. Just as usual.
So why do I feel upset?
Because it’s clear Irene thinks Stony and Mia will pick up where they left off when she returns home from jail.
It’s my biggest fear.
I would really love it if Stony volunteered a small amount of details. There’s no give and take between us because I have no history of past relationships to exchange with him. It almost puts me at a disadvantage. I think what bothers me the most is that he never talks about it. As if the subject is taboo. I get that a broken relationship is a painful subject. But, isn’t talking about your past love life a rite of passage when it comes to starting a new relationship? Or should it remain in the unmentionable column? Is it unhealthy to speak of it? I wish I knew the answer to those questions.
Today’s dinner revealed there was some drama behind Stony and Mia’s break up. Where there’s drama, there’s emotion and feelings. There’s passion and sentiment.
Does Stony still have love in his heart for Mia?
I think I just narrowed down the issue and pooled all my worries into one tiny nutshell. That one simple question says it all. The answer will determine my future.
Am I simply an interlude until Mia returns? An experiment to see if he can love someone else? I wonder if he knows what he really wants.
All at once he’s behind me and his arms wrap around me. “You are my life now, Spencer. The biggest and best part. Please know that.” He plants light kisses along my neck. “I don’t want to think about the past. Just the here and now. That’s you, Spencer. Just you. You and me. The past doesn’t matter. It’s only you for me.”
He turns me around and pulls me to him. He’s not rough, but it’s clear that his passion is guiding him, that he’s let go of some of his restraint. He kisses me with so much force that I physically feel his love for me. It’s conveyed in his kiss and I forget why I was upset. I forget why I felt insecure. He’s right. The past doesn’t matter. The future is ours. Our mouths open to each other and we push ourselves as close together as we dare at this stage of our relationship.
Stony loves me. Of this, I’m certain. I’m not sure how I ever doubted it.
CHAPTER
Nineteen
“ALL SET?” STONY asks, looking handsome in jeans and a button up.
“Ready to go. Except I’d rather stay home like last weekend. I love your mom and Shay, but . . .”
Stony holds me close. “I know. I feel the same.”
We skipped the last Sunday dinner. After the visit with the Faraday’s, we both felt like we needed a weekend to ourselves. I loved it. We stayed in our pajamas all day Sunday and watched old movies. We skipped separate recliners and cuddled on the small couch, entwined with each other. It was the closest we’ve been physically, but Stony kept his word and remained a gentleman. As for me, I kissed him until we were both breathless.
I long for last Sunday. It was just what we needed to make the bond between us grow stronger.
“If you don’t want to go, just say the word,” Stony whispers in my ear.
I love our cheeks pressed together as we bask in the comfort of a long hug. “No. I know this is important to your mom. Let’s go.”
I see a glimpse of what my life will be like with Stony. It will be a good life, complete with family, hard working days, quiet evenings, and passionate nights filled with the sweetest of whispers—words that are much too precious for the light of day, sentiments meant for my ears and my ears only.
I sigh. Stony has the power to make me swoon. I love swooning. I think it could be my favorite pastime.
Love makes me think silly thoughts. Guess I’m a lovesick fool.
Yes, love. I’ve spent five weeks with Stony and I know I’m in love with him. I know he feels the same. I even love this area of the world. It’s as if I was looking at the world through a black and white filter before I met Stony. Everything looked drab. Now I see the world in full vibrant color. It’s as if I’ve been awakened, even though I didn’t know I was sleeping.
Stony pulls back and looks into my eyes. “You sure? Last time was tough. I get it if you need a break.”
“I’m fine, really.” I can’t hide from outside influences forever.
Stony kisses me lightly. We hop into the truck and make the drive into Sweetwater, holding hands the entire way.
We pull into his mother’s neighborhood and there seems to be some type of commotion going on. There’s a crowd gathered on the street, to include media vans.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Don’t know.”
We park in the driveway and join the throng to investigate.
Caroline approaches and it’s obvious she’s been crying. “Drew, I didn’t know it was happening today. I would have warned you not to come. I’m so sorry.”
“What is it?” Stony questions.
I can hear the trepidation in his voice, almost as if he knows what’s happening but feels required to voice the question.
“It’s Mia. She’s been paroled a month early for good behavior. She’ll be here any minute. She’s been released from jail.”
There goes the whispering of the word jail again, as if it’s a bad word.
“Mia?” Stony breathes and I feel my gut clench.
This is unexpected and I’m unprepared for this moment. I wish we’d chosen to stay home to reserve another Sunday just for the two us. Our bond suddenly feels tenuous.
Almost as if on cue, Blake’s car rounds the corner and begins to drive down the road. The crowd grows quiet, all eyes on the slow moving vehicle.
Except mine. My eyes are on Stony. It’s almost as if he’s forgotten I’m there. His gaze is glued on the car and his chest heaves as though he’s just released a breath he’s been holding for a very long time. “Mia,” he says again under his breath.
I turn and watch as a woman slowly opens the car door and steps out. I’m taken immediately by her natural beauty. She has long dark hair, doe-like brown eyes, creamy skin, and perfectly shaped lips. She’s soft and stunning all at once.
And her eyes are glued to the man standing next to me. Camera’s flash in Mia’s face. She blinks, but her focus on Stony is not averted.
My gaze travels back to Stony. His eyes are only for her as well. Actually, locked on her is a little more apt. My heart sinks in my chest. His expression is filled with awe and wonder. He’s stunned by the mere sight of her, paralyzed with emotion.
I watch his face and I see the truth. He can’t hide it.
My stomach turns as I see the crinkles next to his eyes form. The world turns into slow motion, every move exaggerated. I see the corners of his lips begin to turn upward and slowly it spreads across his face into a huge, all consuming smile.
Stony is smiling. A smile that transforms his face and brings him to life. A smile that could grace the cover of any magazine and make women’s hearts flutter. A smile that could stop the world from turning.
At least it just stopped mine. The smile is not for me. I will never see his smile directed at me. Ever.
Time reverses itself and seems to go on overdrive. Mia runs to Stony and they embrace. His smile only gets bigger and brighter. The crowd gathers around them, people clap for them, reporters take notes, cameramen capture the moment on film. I guess this is big news in Sweetwater. The local war hero and his high school sweetheart have been reunited. Evidently this is worthy of the five ‘o clock news. More at eleven.
Meanwhile, I stand there dazed and forgotten. I feel like the outsider who will always be looking in.
Their embrace loosens, and they stand back to look at each other. Stony’s smile says it all. He needn’t say a word to me. I’ve already received the messag
e, loud and clear.
I’m the other woman, the one watching my world collapse in front of my eyes.
All at once, Stony seems to remember himself. His arms are holding Mia, but his head turns and faces me. And what do I see? I see that huge, gorgeous smile fade and depart. It slowly deflates like a tired balloon. It diminishes in my face as though someone just turned off all the lights.
The furrow deepens between his eyebrows and his eyes darken with regret.
And I know. I know everything in that moment.
He loves Mia. He always has. And always will.
Irene says, “All right, please help us celebrate this joyous occasion by joining us for a few light refreshments at our house. Let’s give Mia and Stony time to reacquaint themselves.”
Irene is getting what she wants; Stony and Mia together again.
Stony looks at me deliberately and motions with his head, asking me to follow. “C’mon,” he says. He hasn’t forgotten I’m there and I appreciate the gesture. But does he really expect me to follow him when he is holding another woman in his arms? Not just any woman. Mia.
Always Mia.
The crowd closes around them. They begin to walk toward the Faraday home, arms around each other, followed by friends and family eager to greet Mia. Everyone is talking at once. It’s a chaotic scene and I know neither one will have a moment of peace for several hours. The reporters get into their vans and drive away. There’s nothing more to see. The other people file into the Faraday home and the door closes. The sound echoes in my head as if it had been slammed.
I’m left alone on the front lawn. Forgotten and abandoned.
I’m frozen, paralyzed. What just happened? One minute everything was perfect, the next my entire world has collapsed.
I could follow him into Mia’s home, but I refuse to follow. I refuse to watch Stony and Mia together for one more minute than I have to. No way.
Turns out, I was right to fear Stony’s past with Mia.
I turn and start walking down the street because I don’t know what else to do. My gait quickly turns into a jog, and then an all-out run. My eyes turn blurry from tears and I can’t see where I’m going and I don’t care. I hear a sob burst forth and I’m surprised the sound is coming from me. I run until I’m so out of breath, each intake of air is barely scraping through my lungs and creating a horrible wheeze. I don’t want to stop, I just want to escape. I want to run until I can no longer feel, until I collapse on the ground and pass out into blessed unconsciousness.
