Eleanor

by Rachel Wesson

  “It was a pleasure and it gave me something to do. You have some beautiful furniture.”

  “I was married to a wonderful man who indulged me. We used to live on the ranch, but Davy and his wife, Mary, live there now with their children. I preferred to move into town.”

  “How is your daughter?”

  “Elizabeth is much better now, thank you. I love my grandchildren but I am glad to be back in my own home. I felt bad about leaving you alone too.”

  “Everyone was very kind.” Eleanor hastened to reassure her landlady.

  “So I see. It didn’t take long for you and Gary to start courting. He is a very nice man even if he does own a saloon.”

  “We aren’t courting…” At Martha’s raised eyebrow Eleanor couldn’t continue.

  “You like him a lot, don’t you? He obviously likes you. I have never known him to spend too long away from the saloon.”

  “Yes, I like him but we aren’t courting. I couldn’t do that. I chose to be a teacher,” Eleanor said firmly but whether it was to convince herself or Martha, she wasn’t sure.

  “Even a teacher is allowed to court, get married, and have a family,” Martha said gently.

  “Not this teacher. It is so lovely having you back.”

  “You have a very kind heart, Eleanor. One that deserves to be loved and nurtured. Don’t make the mistake of putting your career above everything else. Just because one man broke your heart doesn’t mean the next one will.”

  Martha kissed her on the cheek before taking her shawl off the hook. “I won’t be long. I want to run over to check on my other grandchildren. I have missed Katie and my Ella and Danny. Don’t worry about clearing up. I will do that when I come back. I have to go now or they will be in bed.”

  “I will clear up. Thank you very much for the pie and your kindness.”

  Martha closed the door behind her leaving Eleanor alone with her thoughts. What would Martha think if she knew the man who broke her heart wasn’t a suitor but her father?

  She cleared the table, washed the dishes and put them away. Martha hadn’t returned so she went up to her room. She was going to write another letter to Gracie. Maybe Lady Devon wouldn’t see it. She wished she had a way to send letters in secret, but then she had never had to be devious before. How she wished Gracie was here in Clover Springs. She could talk to her about Mr. Barrett. Gary. She’d enjoyed the kiss more than she should of. In England, she had been heavily chaperoned, as were all the young ladies she knew. They weren’t allowed be alone with any man unless he was a father or brother or in some cases if the chaperone was feeling lenient, a fiancé. She didn’t have much experience with the opposite sex never mind kissing.

  Well brought up ladies were supposed to endure the physical side of the relationship. She wasn’t exactly sure what that entailed but if it was as nice as kissing, she couldn’t understand her grandmother’s dire warnings.

  What she wouldn’t give to have someone to talk to. She wanted to kiss Gary again. But she couldn’t. He might think they had a future together and that was out of the question.

  Chapter 35

  The next week flew by. The gossip in town was all about Doc Erin and her friends getting stuck in New York. The reason they hadn’t heard from them was not because they were having so much fun but because all the telegraph wires had blown down. Mrs. Grey had finally received a message to say they would all be home soon.

  Gary tried to see as much of Eleanor as he could. He got up early so he could walk her to the school house which was silly really given the short distance between the boarding house and school. He always had some excuse about going to see Father Molloy or collecting things from the store. He thought Eleanor knew what he was doing but they didn’t discuss it. They didn’t get a chance to be alone again so he couldn’t kiss her as much as he wanted to.

  She seemed to be relaxing a little in his company, although she still refused to tell him anything about her family. She spoke about her father’s time in India, and told him funny stories about the Prince of Wales whose lifestyle was giving his mother, Queen Victoria, more grey hairs. If he ever probed about her family, she shut down fast. He had learned not to ask. Despite not knowing much of her personal history, he knew he loved and wanted to marry her.

  Gary checked his reflection over and over. Did he look right? He’d never asked anyone to marry him before so wanted it to be perfect. He hadn’t seen her in a few days but had heard of the roasting she gave young Bertram. He’d deserved it too. That boy could do with a sound clip around the ears. He’d wanted to call to the boarding house and reassure Eleanor she was doing a good job but that would mean admitting there was gossip about her in town. If they were married, he could protect her. He wouldn’t expect her to stop working, but he could be there when she came home in the evening.

  Taking his hat and the book he had picked out for Eleanor, he left his lodgings over the saloon and walked to the boarding house. Flowers would have been better but there were none this time of year. He thought she might enjoy reading something American. He wasn’t just in love with her physical appearance, it was her mind and her character that intrigued him. The conversations they had enjoyed had left him wanting more. As for the strong physical attraction, he was only human and marriage couldn’t come quick enough.

  Taking a big breath, he knocked on the door. Mrs. Sullivan had come back late yesterday, so he wasn’t surprised to see her open it. “Come in, please, Gary. I take it you are here to see Eleanor?”

  “Yes, please, ma’am.” Gary’s mouth was dry.

  “Why don’t you go into the sitting room and I will call her. Would you like something to drink?” Martha asked.

  “I’ll just help myself to some water, if that’s all right?” Gary asked suddenly thirsty.

  “You go ahead, love. I must say you look very fetching all dressed up.”

  Gary blushed at her good-natured teasing but it quickly disappeared when Eleanor came into the room. She looked terrified.

  “Miss Templeton, Eleanor, I…brought you this.” He handed her the book.

  “Little Women. I have heard of this. What a lovely gift, thank you,” Eleanor said shyly, not looking at him.

  Her eyes were a little less wary, but she was still holding herself rigid. He’d thought they had made some progress. They had kissed after all, and she seemed to enjoy the experience as much as he did.

  He couldn’t wait any longer. He went down on one knee and immediately knew by the horrified look on her face, her answer was going to be no.

  “Eleanor, will you please be my wife?”

  “Gary, get up, please. Before Mrs. Sullivan walks in. Please. I’m sorry but you have mistaken my affection. I…can’t marry you.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “I won’t ever marry anyone. I’m sorry but that is my final word.”

  “Can you tell me why?” Gary asked, not quite believing what she was saying.

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “I am making it my business. I love you, Eleanor Templeton, and I believe you love me. So why won’t you marry me? Is it because of the saloon? I can sell it.”

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “So what is it?”

  “You want to have children.”

  “Yes, so? You love children, I’ve seen you with them at school. You are a natural mother. You can’t deny it.”

  “Yes, I love them but…” She turned her back to him.

  “Tell me. But what?” Gary pushed her for an answer.

  “But nothing. I have said no, what more do you want?”

  She didn’t wait for an answer but left him standing there as she ran up the stairs. He was still staring after her when Mrs. Sullivan came in.

  “I take it she said no,” Martha said.

  “How did you know I planned on asking her?”

  “The love you two share is written all over your faces. She told me how you helped her when I was away. She loves you, Ga
ry, but she is terrified.”

  “Of me? I would never hurt her.”

  “I know that, but somebody did and until she gets over it, she will never trust anyone again.”

  “So I am wasting my time?” Gary asked, hoping she would say no.

  “I didn’t say that, lad. True love is worth waiting for. Just have a little patience.”

  Eleanor cried into her pillow hoping it would muffle the sound. She heard Martha calling to her and knocking on the door, but she had pretended she was asleep. She couldn’t face the kind woman. Closing her eyes, she could see his face, the look of pain and confusion in his eyes. She loved him but she couldn’t ever be his wife. She couldn’t risk inflicting a miserable future on both of them and any children they may be blessed with. Since Wilma had given her talk about slavery at the school, Eleanor had spoken in private with her and Jane. The young girl had told Eleanor what it was like to live as a black woman in Denver. It had taken some time before Jane opened up about the real reason she was here.

  Eleanor couldn’t believe such a violent and unprovoked crime would not be investigated but it wasn’t. The Denver police department weren’t interested. It made Eleanor’s blood boil. Unusual for her, especially as she had always stayed out of politics in England. Well, apart from to voice her support of Home Rule in Ireland but that had only been to her father and his friends.

  Wilma encouraged Eleanor to spend time with Jane. Jane was fascinated by Eleanor’s clothes so she spent some time in her room trying various dresses on. One in particular—a white ball gown Eleanor hadn’t been able to leave behind—was beautiful on Jane. The girl was so thin she didn’t really need a corset, but Eleanor used it anyway. She wouldn’t let Jane see the result until she had her fully dressed. When the young girl saw her reflection, it made her cry. Eleanor had seen John, Rosa’s older brother, on the street and sent him to get Wilma. Wilma returned with Ellen in tow, and they were as mesmerized with Jane’s appearance as she was.

  “You look so beautiful. Your Rev. Douglass would burst a gut if he saws you in that.”

  “Why doesn’t he? Wilma, you could invite him for the Easter ball and if Eleanor didn’t mind Jane could borrow the dress. We could all dress up for the night.”

  Eleanor watched Jane’s face. The girl was battling her demons but hope seemed to be winning.

  “I don’t want to lend Jane the dress,” Eleanor said, making everyone stare at her.

  Jane fingered the dress wistfully before she said, “I understand, Eleanor, it’s far too nice for someone like me anyways.”

  “I want to give you the dress, Jane. It was made for you.”

  Jane’s eyes widened as Ellen and Wilma clapped.

  “I can’t take a dress like this.”

  “Yes, you can and you will. It is fabulous and your young man will be mesmerized.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Very sure, Jane. You look incredible.”

  Jane went back to staring at her reflection. Wilma came over to hug Eleanor, and this time, she was able to hug the older woman back.

  “You is gettin’ there, girl. Trusting people takes courage and you have that in bucketfuls.”

  “Thank you, Wilma. I have my own story to tell you. Would you all stay to tea. I would like Martha to be there too.”

  “We’ll stay. I will help Jane out of this dress, and you go find Martha. We will be done in just a few minutes.”

  Martha was more than willing to put on some coffee and set out cookies. She even made some tea for Eleanor who hadn’t yet got to grips with the American fascination for coffee.

  “I want you all to know I am very thankful for your friendship. You have all been so kind to me since I arrived in Clover Springs a few weeks ago. It seems like I have lived here a long time.” Eleanor stopped speaking as she looked down at her hands. Could she do this? There was no putting the cat back in the bag once she told her story.

  Wilma coughed. “You can do this, girl, go on.”

  “I am not English, although my accent suggests I am. I was born here in the USA somewhere in the deep South. My mother was a slave.”

  Chapter 36

  The silence screamed in the room as they all stared at her. Ellen opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Wilma smiled at her encouraging her to take the next step. Martha stared at her, shocked into silence while Jane gripped Eleanor’s hand tightly. She squeezed Jane’s hand as she began to speak.

  “Yes, my skin color suggests I am white but it seems this can happen when your mother is only part black as was her mother before her. I am not sure how many generations you have to go back before you find my ancestors look just like Wilma and Jane.” Eleanor smiled at the two ladies before taking a drink of her tea.

  “I never knew my background. My father was very friendly with the Prince of Wales, and as a result, we moved in the highest of high society back in England. My father’s wife was a lady in her own right, her father being an earl. I was treated much the same as other children in our circle. In England, this means Nanny brings you up but you see your parents for an hour at dinner.”

  “I read things like that in books, but I can’t see how any mother could leave her child to be raised by others when she is living with them. Don’t seem natural to me,” Martha said shaking her head. Ellen squeezed her hand and told her to be quiet making Eleanor smile.

  “As I grew older, I started to notice little things. My half-sisters were adored by our grandmother, my father’s mother, but she seemed to take pleasure in finding fault with me. I didn’t care much as my father, possibly seeing what was happening, insisted I spend more time with him. He sent me to Cheltenham Ladies College, he said it would brighten my future and give me options. I think it was his way of preparing me for what could happen.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “Martha Sullivan, you been spending too much time with Mary,” Wilma spluttered. “Will you stop asking questions and let the girl talk. Go on, Eleanor.”

  “My father asked the Prince of Wales to request I be presented at court. My grandmother nearly had a fit but it was a royal command so she couldn’t do anything about it. I thought she had given her consent as I wore her diamonds. I only found out later my father had borrowed them without her knowledge. Anyway, it was rather a disaster. Most of the young men in our set prefer blonde, blue-eyed girls with the palest of skin.” Eleanor’s voice quivered as she remembered the humiliation of having to spend the night dancing with her father or one of the prince’s friends.

  “My father died suddenly a few months ago. We didn’t know he was ill, although looking back, the signs were there. When he died, my grandmother summoned me to her house. She gave me two weeks to leave London, booking me a cabin on a ship sailing to Boston. She wrote me a letter of introduction to Mrs. Gantley whose husband had known my father years ago.”

  “Why would she do something so horrible?” Martha asked in tears.

  “She told me the story of my life as she knew it. According to her, my mother was the daughter of one of the house slaves. You know after the war, many of the people who had been slaves stayed working at the same plantations. Seems this is what my mama did. She got pregnant and blamed my father, or the man I consider my father. My father wanted to do the honorable thing and marry her. Seems he had fallen in love. Can you imagine the scandal? Anyway, I don’t know what happened to her or where I grew up for the first four years of my life, but he took me with him when we left America. First, he traveled across Europe and we spent many wonderful years together. I had people to look after me but he always made time for me. Then we went back to England, he married my stepmother and everything changed. So there you have it. That is the reason why I left Britain.”

  “And why you won’t marry Gary,” Wilma stated.

  Shocked, Eleanor didn’t know what to say. How did Wilma know about that?

  “Gary hasn’t said nothin’ but I seen his sad face. His smile done disappeared for a reason. And you have
been miserable too. So I put two and two together and made a guess. You just confirmed it.”

  “You tricked me”

  “Yes, Eleanor I did. Now tell us why you won’t marry a good man who is crazy about you and you in love with him.”

  “Wilma, you know I can’t.”

  “I know nothin’ of the sort.”

  “What if we have children?”

  “That would be a blessing wouldn’t it, or are you sick of them at school already?”

  Everyone laughed, even Jane.

  “I think Miss Eleanor be scared the baby might be black.” Jane’s statement shocked the women. Not because of what she said but because she was talking. She usually kept quiet, especially in company. “What you all looking at, I got a voice. I just don’t use it much.” She smiled.

  “Is that true, Eleanor?”

  “Yes. What if we had a baby and it was black. That can happen, can’t it Wilma?”

  “I guess so, child. I can’t remember ever seeing or hearing of a white couple having a black baby, but I did see black children being born to pale mothers who were the masters.”

  “You mean the master made the slave pregnant.”

  “Yes, Miss Ellen. Don’t you be listening to me?” Wilma said but her tone was teasing. “I think there is a risk, but, Eleanor, wouldn’t you love the baby just the same?”

  Eleanor’s eyes watered. “Of course I would, Wilma, but what would people around here think? Nobody is going to believe the baby would be my husband’s. It would make our lives miserable.”

  “No, child, the gossips would do that. So long as you tell Gary the truth, there is nothing stopping you from having a happy future. I ain’t known Gary long but I know him well enough to know color don’t bother him none. He adores Rosa and she would spend all day in that saloon if I didn’t chase her out of there.”

  “He rescued her at school one day and he was so kind. I think I knew then I loved him,” Eleanor smiled wistfully.

  “Child, take a lesson from an old woman like me. There ain’t much happiness in the world. It sure isn’t going to walk up to your front door demanding you take a hold of it. You got to grab it as soon as you can and never let go. You got to do that with Gary. Go see him, tell him you made a mistake and why.”