Nobody's Hero

by Bec McMaster

  Wade stared ahead. “You thirsty?”

  Riley felt a surge of both disappointment and relief. He hadn’t taken up her dare, and he wouldn’t. The question would go unsaid. She wouldn’t have to answer something she didn’t know if she could answer. Yet the tension between them remained.

  “No,” she replied quietly. “I’m not.”

  The minutes ticked by. Wade steered the jeep through a crossroads with grim determination, barely even glancing down the other road.

  “Do you know where he’s going?” she asked.

  “Did a lot of scouting when I first got here,” he replied, his knuckles tightening on the wheel as they hit a pothole. “They’ll need water and shelter, and they’re running with reivers, which limits their options. The old Copperplate Mine’s the only thing out this way that’s big enough to support them.” His lashes lowered. “Besides, I can see the tire marks from Colton’s jeep. I know where he’s going.”

  Impulsively, she slid her hand over his thigh. Hard muscle clenched beneath the dark denim. “We’ll get her back, you know.”

  He nodded sharply, as if unable to speak.

  The day stretched out, shadows lengthening. Wade drove like a man possessed, handling the jeep with one hand, his mirrored shades hiding any sign of emotion. His jaw was locked tight, knuckles white around the wheel; however, Riley didn’t need to see his eyes to know what he was thinking.

  “You used to be a bounty hunter out on the Rim,” she murmured, to distract him. “You ever cross the Great Divide, head east? My father said they have cities out there, huge walled cities, not like the slaver trading towns down south, along the New Mérida border.”

  Wade glanced sideways. “Only once,” he admitted. “I was hunting a pack of shadow cats, and they took me across the Divide.” He shook his head. “It’s a different world out there. This side of the Divide, everyone’s scattered. Small settling towns, the occasional homestead… Timber’s scarce in the Wastelands, but across the Divide you can see whole forests of bleached, calcified trees. Ghost Forests, they call them, from when the meteor first hit. And there's... people there too. They call them mutos, those who were exposed to all manner of shit when the meteor struck.”

  “And the cities?”

  “Didn’t get that far. The Eastern Confederacy’s got roaming packs of enforcers running all the way along its state lines. They say they’re building a wall too. Like that ancient wall in the Orient that I read about once. Only this one’s to keep us out. The rabble, the reivers, and the revenants.”

  “They don’t have revenants and wargs in the Confederacy?” she asked curiously. This far into the Wastelands, it wasn’t often that news came from the east – or that anyone traveled for more than a hundred miles in their whole life. An envious stirring irritated her.

  “No. They hunt ‘em down, burn ‘em out. The military controls the whole Confederacy, and when they’re not fighting down along the New Mérida border, they send their troops out on scalping missions for warg packs, or revenants.” Wade’s lips twitched in a smile. “Why? You itching to leave the settlement?”

  “No. I’m just… curious. I’ve never seen anything other than the Wastelands. I can’t even imagine what a city would look like.”

  “Big,” he said with a shrug. “Huge buildings, like the ones that brushed the skies before the meteor. Had an old man down in Lexton tell me most of them folk live in the cities, where it’s safer. Call each other ‘citizen’ and they’re only allowed to wear the confederacy colors of white and green. Anyone who disobeys the law is executed.”

  “Sounds kind of like what happens out here,” she mused.

  “Yeah, only without the cameras watching your every move.”

  She couldn’t fathom the idea. Peg had once owned a camera, an old family heirloom that took hours to develop each photo, though she'd stopped taking them once she ran out of paper for it. Imagine having cameras everywhere, to take photographs of everyone who passed?

  “We’ve got busybodies instead,” she replied dryly. “Grateful to repeat every word they’ve heard, or anything they’ve seen. Whether it's true or not....” She shrugged. "Well, that's another story."

  The jeep hit a bump, and Wade smoothed it out instantaneously. “Wouldn’t know. You get that a lot?”

  “I’m an unmarried woman,” she said. “I have more people poking into my life than anyone else.”

  A long moment of silence stretched out. Riley surveyed the barren plains, but there was no sign of movement out there. Only the hoodoos jutting in the distance.

  “And no doubt your pick of men.” Soft words. He didn’t look at her, but she could tell that he was focused on her.

  “I could have had a harem,” she replied. “That would have made the goodwives choke on their tea.”

  “No husband though.”

  “Never met anyone whose ideas meshed with mine.” A lot whose ideas involved her in the house, cooking dinner while the men tended the settlement. A hard deal for a woman who’d been raised to follow in her daddy’s footsteps. “Not that I’m against marriage or children,” she added quickly.

  Another glance that scoured her like fire. Riley pretended she hadn’t noticed. “How long do you think it will take to get to the mine?”

  “On these roads?” Wade cursed under his breath. “Probably noon tomorrow, if we’re lucky.”

  His knuckles went white on the wheel again.

  * * *

  Orange flame crackled in the night, licking at the small twigs Riley fed into the fire. They’d come across a fallen tree – almost too good an opportunity to pass up out here – and decided to make camp for the night. Travelling in the dark was too dangerous, and although Wade was wound tighter than a child’s top, even he admitted a few hours’ rest would help him gain back his strength.

  Turning warg took a lot out of a man, and he hadn’t been able to hunt. The beast inside him was restless still, driven to the edge by the threat to his daughter.

  “Sounds like it’s more human than you realize,” she’d muttered, which had earned her a sharp look.

  “Maybe I’m not the one doubting,” he shot back before striding out into the night to scout for danger, leaving her to stare after him.

  Wade had been gone for over an hour. Riley stabbed a stick into the hot coals in short, angry movements. Just what had he meant by those words?

  A twig snapped, and her head jerked up. Slowly, Wade came into focus, with an armful of smaller branches and brush – whitethorn by the look of it, and scrub oak. This close to the mountains, the trees began to appear, and even grow larger, with the occasional cottonwood grove. Out in the plains, the only thing one came across was agave, prickly pear, and cactus.

  Wade dumped his armful by the fire, flame flickering over the silvery shine in his eyes. He wasn’t even attempting to hide the feral cast to his features. Not fully human tonight. His cheekbones looked like they’d been carved with a hatchet, and veins distended along the back of his hands a forearms.

  As if aware of her scrutiny, he shot her a look, a challenge. Not human. Never will be. So what are you going to do about it?

  Riley scowled back and tipped her chin up. Well, I’m not running. Even though I’ve seen you at your beastly worst.

  His gaze dropped away, and he rubbed his fist absently.

  Coward.

  “Sit,” she said. “You’re wearing me out with all that pacing.”

  He’d caught a Gila monster earlier, and Riley had carefully roasted it over the open flames. The meat sizzled, and she reached out and cut a chunk off, nearly burning her fingers. The first taste of it melted in her mouth. “Dinner’s ready.”

  Wade sank onto a boulder on the other side of the fire – about as far away from her as he could get – and used his own knife to carve off a generous hunk of meat. Riley handed him the pack of flatbread she’d acquired at Absolution, and they ate in silence, using the bread as both plate and a wrap for the meat.

  “W
hat time do you think we’ll get moving?” she asked.

  “Just before dawn. If we blow a tire or two, then we’ll never make it in time,” he replied, licking his fingers. Frustration darted across his face. He wanted to push on; so did she, but common sense had won out. The waiting was almost agonizing. Just ratcheting the tension higher.

  Wade picked up a chunk of cottonwood and withdrew his knife. He started scraping the bark off the thick branch, his hands moving swiftly. Riley picked up her stick again and started drawing circles in the dirt at her feet.

  Distraction.

  “You couldn’t move quicker in your other form?” she asked quietly.

  “I could, but I wouldn’t. I’m not in control when I’m in warg form.” Those silvery eyes raked over her, as if to show her precisely how much the warg shone through tonight. “Most likely, I’d be distracted by the hunt. Or… other desires.”

  Her.

  Riley stilled, the end of the stick trailing in the dirt.

  “You look surprised.” His words were another challenge. “Don’t forget I’m a monster, Riley.”

  Her breath caught. “That’s not fair.”

  Wade looked at her, cold light shining in those blue eyes. Holding himself back. “Isn’t it? I remember the look on your face.” His tone softened, and he looked down at his hands, the knife making a curl of wood. It dropped to the ground. “I remember how you ran from the room. Do you think I wanted you to see me like that?”

  “No.” Her voice was very small. “I knew what you were—”

  “But you didn’t understand it,” he replied, carving another gentle curl in the wood, “until you saw it.”

  Silence. Not even a hint of warg-song tonight.

  Riley slashed the end of the stick through the figure she’d been drawing. “Do you want the truth?”

  His gaze jerked to hers. His hands stopped their smooth motion.

  “Do you want to know what I felt?” she asked, her voice rising. “Why the hell won’t you ask?”

  His lips pressed tightly together.

  She jerked to her feet. “Ask me! Why won’t you ask me?”

  Wade stood, tossing aside the knife and the half-made carving. “Maybe I don’t want to fucking know,” he snapped, turning on his heel, as if he were going to leave.

  Riley didn’t know what came over her. Leaping over the fire, she grabbed his arm and wrenched him toward her. “So you walk away? The way you always do?”

  He spun, and the furious glitter in his eyes almost made her back away. “Don’t!” he snarled, stabbing a finger at her. “Don’t you fucking dare say that!”

  “Or?”

  His gaze half-shuttered. Slowly, his body turned toward her, every muscle bunching as if violence rode through him. “Fine,” he snarled. “You want to know why I won’t ask? Because I know the answer. I saw it on your face as I writhed in that goddamned cage. I was everything you hated, everything you feared, and you couldn’t handle it. You ran.”

  Her chest was heaving. Riley stared up at him, smoke curling around them as the wind changed. “You weren’t there,” she said weakly. “That wasn’t you.”

  “I was there,” he snapped. “That’s the thing nobody will admit, Riley. I was there. That was me. That’s the true curse. That’s why I hate it so much, because it’s like admitting the worst part of yourself exists. Every horrible little thought you ever have swims to the surface, but multiplied a hundredfold, and you have to ride with it, aware of everything. I wanted blood, and I wanted flesh, and I wanted you.” His hot gaze ran down her figure. “And I hate that more than anything. That I could hurt you, and not be able to stop myself.”

  The outbreak took her by surprise. Truth was there between them, and she realized that she hadn’t been entirely truthful with him. She’d withheld, when he’d spat everything he felt out into the world.

  “All right,” she whispered. “You want to know how I felt? I was scared, and a part of me was horrified. You keep saying it was you, but it wasn’t. I looked in your eyes, and you weren’t there anymore, and that was what frightened me.” She swallowed hard. “You were the monster that everyone out here fears, and yeah, maybe I’m still a little afraid, but I trust you. I don’t believe that was you. That was your monster, your beast.

  “And you know what? I’m still here. I haven’t run, Wade, and I’m not going to.” The words made her realize the truth as much as he did. They also made her aware of another truth. “I keep wondering how I’m going to make a life with you, but the question I don’t ask myself is whether I want to make a life with you. I don’t know when, but I made that decision somewhere along the way. Maybe that bloody pool of water.”

  He stared at her, shadows carving grim lines into his face. Hope flared in his eyes, then died. “And how long does that last?” Dropping his gaze, he turned away from her again. “No, Riley. You need to start thinking about your future, but I won’t be in it.”

  Frustration reared. “Don’t you dare walk away!” she yelled, looking around for something, anything to throw. “Or I swear I will brain you with this water canteen.”

  He stopped in his tracks. “Wargs don’t have wives. They don’t have lovers. I should never have touched you. I’m sorry for that.”

  “No, you’re not!” She was so angry she wanted to hit him. “You’re not sorry you touched me at all. You wanted it. I wanted it. You’re just afraid to face the consequences of that action.

  “You did your wife a disservice, Wade. You never gave her a choice to accept you. You walked away before she could face that fear. And now you’re doing it to me!”

  “She could have come after me,” he said simply, his words floating on the wind.

  True. Riley’s fists clenched. “I would. I will.”

  Wade stared out into the desert night, his shoulders stiff. His head turned to the side, his stark profile standing out against the black desert night. “No.” As if he just realized the challenge he’d thrown her.

  “If I’m brave enough to face my fears, why can’t you?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” A soft growl lit his voice before he started walking into the darkness. “Go to sleep. I’ll keep watch.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Go to sleep, my ass,” Riley muttered, stepping over a small log and sliding down the embankment after him. “You think it’s that easy? You think you just say no, and I’ll go on my way and forget you?”

  She tripped on something in the dark and staggered forward, her hands out. Her palms met Wade’s back, and he went down on one knee as she steadied.

  She could barely see him, night-blind after the hot orange glow of the fire. The wind was cool now, cutting through her clothes and making her shiver.

  Spinning around, Wade’s hand caught her by the back of the leg. “Did you just shove me?” he asked incredulously.

  The heat of his palm through her jeans did wicked things to her body, but Riley wasn’t about to be distracted. “Maybe I did.” And maybe she had. Could she have stopped herself? “What are you going to do about it?”

  “This!” he snapped.

  The world upended as he drove his shoulder into her midriff and strained to his feet. Riley cried out softly, punching her fist into his buttocks. “Put me down!” she yelled, straining and kicking. “You are not going to win this argument like this!”

  * * *

  Riley jerked on his shoulder, her legs swinging wildly. Wade turned and strode back up the hill, frustration and fear churning inside him.

  You wanted a woman who’d fight for you, didn’t you?

  He ground his teeth together and dumped her on her outspread bedroll. She kicked herself up onto her knees as if she were going to tackle him, her eyes glittering hotly in the fire’s gleam. Luc grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her back down, pinning her wrists on the blankets and crushing her with his weight.

  “Be still!”

  She breathed hard, squirming beneath him. “Make me.”

  Luc s
ucked in a sharp breath. Bloody hell. Each little squirm impressed itself on his body, his hips sliding into the V of hers. He knew the instant she felt his erection, her body stiffening beneath him.

  Their eyes met.

  And then it was as if all the tension suddenly erupted, her mouth attacking his in the dark, even as his hands tore at her clothes.

  He needed this. Wanted it so badly. And she was just as savage, her nails raking over his shoulders, fingers knotting in his hair.

  The wildness within wanted to howl in glee. His. His cock thickened, aching in his jeans. Luc couldn’t stop himself. He lifted his hips, tearing at the buttons. A needy little sound purred in Riley’s throat, her teeth sinking into his lips.

  “Want you,” she gasped. “Want you so much. And I’m not letting go! No matter how far you run, no matter how fast….” Her hands slid between them, his cock falling free of his jeans into her hot palms.

  Luc buried his head against her throat with a gasp, the heated silk of her hair brushing against his face. He thrust into her clenched fist, grabbing her by the ass and driving her against him. Not enough. He wanted inside her. Now.

  The musky scent of her arousal told him she felt the same. Luc tugged at her jeans, tearing the buttons in his haste. Then he had them free, yanking them down her legs until she was wearing only her white cotton panties with the tiny little bow stitched onto them.

  Kneeling between her legs, he grasped her hips and nuzzled his face between her thighs. Her scent was dizzying here. Delicious. Grasping the edges of her panties, he slid them lower, dragging them over her knees. Riley kicked free of them, then Luc grasped her thighs and held her open for him. Her blonde curls glinted in the firelight, her soft gasps lingering in the air.

  She moaned as he covered her with his mouth, tasting the sweetness of her body. Tongue plunging into her, darting over her. God. He groaned. Couldn’t get enough. His cock ached.

  He could just feel her body start trembling as he broke his intimate kiss, and drove up over her. “You’re mine,” he whispered, bending her knee up and thrusting hard into the molten core of her. Just for a moment, he let himself pretend the dream was real. That the woman in his arms would never melt away.