Wrack and Ruin

by Dave Willmarth

  Chapter 23

  Max buried his face in his hands, shaking his head as he did so. Talking to Glitterspindle was like talking to a five year old schizophrenic genius on a sugar high. The little metal gnome never stopped moving, and refused to focus on any topic for more than a few seconds. Already, the flood of dwarven and gnomish engineers that had crowded the temple hoping to learn from the mechamage had mostly given up in exasperation. Only a die-hard few had been motivated enough to hang in there. They were treated like disciples, ordered around by the brain in the glass, given menial jobs seemingly at a whim.

  “For the last time, Glitterspindle. I need to know how quickly you can build me at least three portal pedestals.” Max had asked this question half a dozen times already, and each time the gnome began to answer, he got sidetracked talking about materials, tweaking the spell formulae, or what color Max wanted the pedestals to be.

  Glitterspindle halted mid-step, his tiny metal body freezing in place. “A month, at least!” the little gnome shouted, its high-pitched voice grating on Max’s ears. He resumed his hustle over to a control panel on one wall, already forgetting they were having a conversation.

  “A month? Why a month? Spellslinger built me one for Stormhaven overnight!”

  “He most certainly did not!” Glitterspindle turned on Max, momentarily forsaking the control panel. “He may have programmed a pedestal in a single night, but he did not create one from scratch!”

  Max paused with his mouth open, halting the annoyed reply that was about to gush forth. He tilted his head, considering. “What do you mean by programmed?”

  “Spatial magic is very exacting, stupid orc! One must know one’s place in the universe exactly, and know the same about every portal one wishes to connect to. In addition, one must take into consideration gravity, the world’s rotation speed, and a hundred other factors when one decides to rip a hole in reality that others can pass safely through! The math involved…” the little metal head shook back and forth, grinding slightly. “Oh! I need some oil. Minions! Where are those stupid little orcs when I need them?”

  “Glitterspindle!” Max shouted. “What about the math involved?”

  “What? Oh! Do you have any oil on you, perchance?” the construct’s head moved back and forth again. “No, how unfortunate. The math involved is beyond the capacity of most minds. And if one does not get the calculations exactly correct… poof!”

  “Poof?” Max sighed.

  “My guess is it’d be more like boom!” Red said from his shoulder.

  “Implosion, explosions, being sucked into a merciless vortex that dumps your highly compressed body into a formless void for all eternity… just a few of the consequences of sloppy math.” Glitterspindle looked at Max, raised one eyebrow, and cackled like a madman. “Even I, a true Master, have killed myself at least once, that I can remember!” the gnome tapped its chin, the metal finger making a tink sound with each impact. “Or rather, I killed the minion dressed up as me. Yes, yes. Always better to send a minion through to start with. Can’t put my incredible brain at risk, oh no! But in case it works, it must be the spitting image of me that arrives at the other end, mustn’t it? Best thing for building my reputation!”

  Max pictured hapless gnome acolytes trudging up to a newly constructed pedestal, dressed like Glitterspindle as they risked their lives as test pilots. Only to explode, implode, or perish in other painful and spectacular ways.

  “Alright, so Spellslinger used an already constructed pedestal, and just programmed it to work in Stormhaven, and to connect to the other portals. I understand. Now we’re making progress. If it’ll take a month to make three pedestals, how bout just one?”

  “A month! I can build three as quickly as one, assuming I have all the materials, and some assistance. Creating a part from scratch is time consuming. Duplicating the finished part is much quicker.”

  Max almost felt like he was making progress now. “Alright, what can I do to help? Can you teach me some teleportation magic so that I can assist you in your work? What materials do you need?”

  “I gave you the list!” the gnome barked at him, its eyes glowing briefly. “Just triple the quantities! Once I have the materials, I will build you new portal pedestals as fast as anyone can!”

  “We’re working on gathering those materials. The merchants will send them here as quickly as possible. In the meantime…”

  “Yes…?” The gnome arched an eyebrow on its surprisingly versatile metal face. “Oh! The teaching. Yes, I can teach you. Spatial magic can be painful, though. Are you sure?”

  “I already have a spell that teleports me short distances…”

  “Well then! This will be slightly less painful for you. Follow me.” Glitterspindle walked to a blank wall and placed a metal hand on a spot about two feet above the floor. Max was only half surprised to see a section of the wall, a short section, slide to one side. The gnome walked through, motioning for Max to follow. He had to bend deeply at the waist to fit through the door, then remain that way as the tiny room beyond also had a low ceiling. It turned out the room was an elevator car, and they dropped quickly after the gnome pressed the bottommost button.

  When the car stopped, the gnome strode into a wide expanse with high ceilings that allowed Max to straighten back up, which he was grateful for. He followed the fast-moving little metal monstrosity through stacks of crates and around piles of gadgets. A moment later they passed through another door as Glitterspindle said, “There’s a scroll that will help you with the basic principles. Faster for you to read than for me to try to teach them to you…”

  Max was no longer listening, as the room they stepped into appeared to be lined along both walls with… portal pedestals. He stopped walking and stared at one until his Examine skill kicked in.

  Portal Pedestal

  Unprogrammed

  Item Quality: Epic

  Max looked from one pedestal to the next, then switched sides and began counting the ones on the opposite side of the room. Clearing his throat, he called out. “Uhhh, Master Glitterspindle, could you come back here a moment?”

  The gnome pivoted on one metal foot without losing a step, turning back toward Max and continuing to talk about the scroll as he approached. When he got to within a few feet of Max, he stopped both the walking and the talking. He leaned way back and tilted his head to look up at Max. “Yes?”

  Max tried his best to remain calm. “This appears to be a room full of portal pedestals.”

  Glitterspindle rotated his head left, then right. “It does, indeed. Okay, let’s go! That scroll is just in the next room, in my junk trunk.”

  “Wait. Glitterspindle, if you have all of these here already, why will it take you a month to get me three of them? Why can’t I just take three of these?”

  The tiny metal monster clenched both of its fists, its eyes flashing a deep red. “Stupid orc! You did not ask me if I had three portal pedestals! You asked me how long it would take me to create three new ones!”

  Max gritted his teeth, quietly wondering if he was strong enough to squeeze the construct’s metal neck until its head popped off. He’d give the head to Redmane to use as a paperweight. Or maybe to Teeglin, as a toy. He relaxed a little, imagining the conversations the child and the insane gnome might have.

  “Why did you not tell me you had a supply already constructed?” Max tried to keep his tone patient and calm.

  “Of course I have a supply! What did you think I did to pass the time all these years? Write my autobiography? Why do you think I was out of materials for the three new portals you want built? Because I used them all, building these!” he indicated the rows of devices. “No one ever came to purchase them, so I stored them down here. Really starting to clutter up the place.”

  Max bit his lip. He jammed the claw on one thumb into the palm of his other hand, focusing on the pain to help calm himself. After several deep breaths, during which the gnome disappeared into the next room, Max called out. “How abou
t if I just grab three or four of these?”

  The little mechamage’s voice echoed out of the doorway. “Found it! Here’s the beginner scroll for minions!” He walked back into the room carrying a scroll high over his head in victory. “What? Oh, sure. Take all the pedestals you want!” He waved the scroll at Max. “Read this, then come find me. I’ll teach you some more. If I’m not too busy making you those three new pedestals!” He cackled, handing over the scroll.

  “But now I don’t need…” Max paused mid-sentence, thinking. He could simply take the pedestals and end this whole infuriating conversation right then and there. “Thank you, Master Glitterspindle. I will study this and return for a lesson.” He took the scroll, then walked over to one side of the room and touched four of the pedestals, each one going into a separate slot in his inventory.

  When he turned around, the gnome was back on the elevator, and the doors were closing. It gave him a friendly wave just before they clanked shut, and Max was left stranded in the room. Lucky for him, he had party chat available now, or he might have been forgotten and left for dead down there.

  “Smitty, when the little shit gets there, would you please send him back down here to get me?”

  “Sure thing, boss!” Max could almost hear the grin on the orc’s face. Hanging his head in resignation, Max decided to just take the finished portals as a win, and get out of the temple as quickly as possible.

  Which turned out to be nearly an hour, as the gnome didn’t return to where Smitty was, and the rest of the party had to search the temple for him.

  *****

  Max and the others returned to Stormhaven, where there was quite a bit of activity. Redmane’s clansmen were already arriving, along with needed materials, and were preparing the first convoy through Deepcrag to the gnome settlement. He quickly informed his chamberlain that he had four pedestals in his possession, and wanted to place one of them in the gnome city as quickly as possible.

  “If yer willin’ to bring Spellslinger in on yer secret, he can install it quickly enough.” the old dwarf offered.

  Not seeing any other way, Max agreed. “This is going to cost me more bottles, isn’t it?”

  Redmane shook his head. “Nah. Give him the same quest ye gived me, the one to secure the outpost, it’ll be payment enough.” He shrugged. “Besides, none would be more motivated to learn the rune magic than a dwarven mage like himself.”

  Max handed over one of the pedestals. “Then please call him here, get an oath of secrecy from him, share the quest, and send him along with this first caravan. Make them wait for him if necessary. The delay will be more than worth it if we can just send everyone straight there. But this portal remains a secret.” Max warned. “Your clansmen who’ll be using it will need to keep quiet.”

  “They’ve already sworn, Max.” Redmane’s tone of voice let it be known that Max was on the verge of insulting his clan’s honor.

  “Perfect. Thank you, Master Redmane.” Max backed off. “When the time comes, we’ll put another portal at the goblin settlement. And I’m considering putting one at the way station.”

  Redmane shook his head. “That’d be a waste o’ resources, Max. Ye got one at the temple already, only six miles away. The way they be buildin’ up that settlement, they can hold against the entire orc army for several hours, at least. More than enough time fer our reinforcements to arrive.”

  Resisting the urge to tell the dwarf that they had access to dozens of pedestals, Max just nodded. For all he knew, the insane gnome would start passing them out like candy now, and Max would only have the four he’d already taken. Which, he had to admit, was more than ample reward for the time spent clearing the temple. That line of thought got him itching to run back there and grab a dozen more.

  “Please have Enoch place that portal someplace aboveground and well inside our planned walls. Maybe put it in a market square we can surround with additional walls? What am I saying? He’ll know what to do.” Max shook his head. He was trying to micromanage too many things. It was why he had limited himself to running just a squad in the private sector, instead of a larger force. He liked being hands-on, managing his small elite group.

  “I’m going to go work at the forge for a while, clear my head, and keep from poking my nose in where it’s not needed.” Max waved to a chuckling Redmane and walked away.

  *****

  Dylan stepped into Erdun’s shop and looked around. The elder minotaur called out from the back, “Is that you, Dylan?”

  “Yes sir!” Dylan walked toward the back room where the enchanter did most of his work, and where Dylan had been learning all he could about enchanting.

  “Found a place to house your lizard?” Erdun asked, the phrasing causing Dylan to chuckle to himself.

  “I did, at least temporarily. He’s out in the mushroom forest outside the gate, hunting critters. I warned the farmers to keep clear of the place for a day or two, so there are no accidents.”

  “In that case, I have something for you.” the minotaur held up a carved figurine as Dylan entered the room. It was carved from onyx, or maybe obsidian, and was a nearly perfect representation of Princess.

  “Wow! It looks so much like him. Thank you, Master Erdun. But how did you have time to carve this?”

  “It isn’t carved, it’s shaped. I had one of the dwarves that was with us at Deepcrag create it for me. Then I enchanted it for you.” He placed the figurine in Dylan’s open palm. “Hold this in contact with his skin and yours, and activate the enchantment. It will allow you to dismiss and summon your pet at will, storing his essence within the likeness. Keep it safe, my friend, for if it breaks while his essence is contained within, he will be lost to you.”

  Dylan stroked the lizard figurine’s back with one finger. “That’s… amazing! Thank you so much!” He looked up at the elder. “But you shouldn’t have taken so much time away from Max’s project.”

  “Bah! It’s a simple enchantment, known to any novice worth his or her salt. A matter of minutes to complete. I’m surprised no one mentioned this option to you before.”

  Dylan rolled his eyes. “They’ve been having too much fun teasing me about Princess and watching me try to wrangle him. It’s getting easier now, as we spend time together. I can feel our bond growing stronger.”

  Erdun nodded. “I had a bonded companion when I was young. A grindler named Ogtor. In the years we spent together, we developed an exceptional bond.”

  “What’s a grindler?” Dylan asked.

  “Ha! I suppose they’d be rare around here. They live mostly in the frozen mountain ranges where I was born. Picture a massive, shaggy round head with a tooth-filled mouth large enough to swallow a goblin whole. Add four stumpy legs and a short tail, that’s a grindler. They don’t move very quickly, most often just rolling in the direction they want to go. But they are fierce and fearless in battle. I found him in a cave, wounded from a battle with a rock troll. He had a broken leg, cracked skull, and was missing several teeth from biting the troll. He was also quite sick from eating troll meat. I took pity on him and healed him, and we were companions for twenty years.”

  “I’d have to be pretty hungry to try and eat a rock troll.” Dylan grinned at the minotaur.

  “He was starving, too wounded to hunt. I think he held out as long as he could.”

  “Well, thank you again.” Dylan held up the figurine briefly before stowing it in his inventory. “I have something for you, as well.” He pulled a pouch containing five hundred gold coins from his inventory.” This is from Max, for the family of the fallen minotaur. He apologizes that it isn’t more, but the kingdom is not very wealthy yet.”

  “There is no need.” Erdun tried to push the pouch away. “We live a warrior’s life, and expect to die in battle. It is the death we seek. His children are fully grown, with children of their own, and his wife is a skilled crafter. They can look after themselves.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, but please take this anyway. It would make Max feel b
ad if you refused.”

  “Very well.” Erdun accepted the pouch and bowed his head. “Please thank King Max on behalf of the family. Also, I think I may have what he’s looking for in another week or so.”

  “Yes, about that. If you wouldn’t mind stopping by the palace, Max has something he wants to share with you that I think might help your project along. He sort of accidentally discovered this spell called Party Chat…” Dylan went on to explain the magic, and Erdun was on his feet and headed out of the shop before the ogre was even done speaking.

  They found Max at the forge, where he set down the hammer he was using, leaving the dagger blade he’d been working on to cool on the anvil.

  “Master Erdun, I wanted to offer my condolences, and my sincere thanks. Your warrior fought bravely, and died a hero.”

  “Thank you, King Max. It is what we all desire. To die in honorable battle.” The enchanter paused for a moment, then his eagerness got the best of him. “Dylan tells me you have created a new spell.”

  “Ah, yes. It was sort of an accident. I really, really wanted to be able to talk to Blake, to keep him from killing more of our people, and was thinking about a system similar to what you’ve been working on. It seems the gods took my knowledge of how it should work, and granted me the spell. I can teach it to you, if you’d like.”

  Erdun hesitated. “A new spell is a rare thing, King Max. A spell as useful as what Dylan describes is invaluable. Were you to sell it to the Mages’ Guild, they would shower you in gold. I have nothing of equal value to exchange with you.”

  Max shook his head. “If you can figure out the enchantment I’ve asked for, that’s more than payment enough. Party Chat is useful, but at a limited range. The ability to communicate instantly with all my outposts and settlements has more value to me than I can describe.”

  “Then I will accept this magic.” Erdun bowed his head. “And hope that it will indeed help with research on your enchantment.”