Alien and the Wedding Planner

by Lizzie Lynn Lee

  But she was here with nothing to do but try.

  When the banquet finally came to an end, Emperor Chaos patted her hand. “I’ll have someone escort you back to your room.”

  Ice stood. “Emperor, if I may, I’d like to show Alana around, then I’ll take her wherever she needs to go.”

  “Of course. As you wish.”

  Ice took Alana’s arm and led her out of the banquet hall with many people watching them as they went. Crimean weren’t an emotional people, but they sure didn’t hide their curiosity. Fortunately, the press photographers were gone from outside, having gotten their interviews and images long before the food was served.

  As soon as they were alone in what seemed to be a type of elevator, Ice turned to her.

  “You look well, Alana. You seem to be adjusting to Crimea.”

  “I seem to be.” She cleared her throat. “I thought you were dead when I woke up alone. I’m glad to see you’re not.”

  He stared at her for a moment before saying softly, “I dreaded the fact that it could have happened, and that you would know no one here.”

  “I don’t really know you, if we’re being technical.”

  “More than the rest.”

  The doors opened into a massive chamber several stories high, with shelves floor to ceiling on each level filled with what looked like thick decks of playing cards.

  “These are the Crimean Imperial Libraries. Thousands of years of knowledge.” Ice led her through several chambers. “Anything you wish to know about our planet and people can be found here, as well as the entirety of knowledge on any topic, field of study, or skill. You may access anything you wish except the banks on the uppermost level. Those are reserved for people with the highest clearance—mostly military and ruling information.”

  The questions in Alana’s mind all rushed out. “We’re underground, aren’t we? That light outside isn’t a sun. The gravity’s different. I can tell, but it doesn’t affect me. How…”

  She asked several questions without a breath. When she finally had them all out, Ice nodded.

  “Crimea is mostly ice tundra. We haven’t figured out a way to flourish on the surface efficiently and because of it, we’re subterranean dwellers. The waterways flow this far down, and our engineering and scientific knowledge has helped us create greenhouses, waste systems, and generators that keep the atmosphere breathable, clean and healthy. Come.”

  He led her from the libraries to another lift, still answering questions. “Your modifications make it possible for you walk, speak, and move normally here.”

  A head rush made Alana briefly dizzy. She guessed they were moving sideways at an incredible rate of speed. When the lift stopped, the doors opened to reveal a maze of gardens below them, all carefully domed with what looked like thick glass or crystal. The heat and humidity in the massive chamber was incredible, and the plants went on as far as she could see.

  She’d had mostly vegetables at the banquet, and she’d noticed that what looked like a kind of carrot didn’t taste like one. The potato wasn’t quite right either. And the shrimp on her plate tasted similar but not exact. No one had been eating what she thought were land mammals—nothing similar to beef or chicken.

  “You live off seafood and agriculture?”

  “Seafood? Oh, ocean harvests. Yes. Very astute, Alana. You’ll adapt to life here quickly, I have no doubt.” Ice paused a moment, then said, “I should get you to your room. I need to get back to work, and you need to rest.”

  He led her away, but she laughed. “Rest? Haven’t I been asleep for three months?”

  “Suspended animation isn’t the same as sleep.”

  When they reached her room, after more lifts and long, glassy hallways, she took his wrist before he could leave her in the open door. “Ice, I still don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Aren’t you at all curious about me?

  “I am curious about the methods you’ll use to help us.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I mean, who I am, what I believe, what I feel, what I care about. I feel that with the three months we’ve been apart—though it feels like yesterday since I slept through it—you’re kind of distant. I feel we were closer when we were in the ship.”

  Ice tilted his head a little, and it reminded her of a dog hearing a whistle. “I…what do you care about?”

  At least he was listening to her now. That was a start.

  “Not long ago the first thing I would have said was that I care about getting home. But that’s something for the future, isn’t it? I care about my business, which I’m no longer there to run. I care about my employees, my friends.” She almost scoffed at herself. It wasn’t like she had any these days beyond the occasional lunch date where her couple of friends talked about nothing important and neither did she.

  “I care about the life I’ve been forced to leave behind. And now that I’m here, I guess I care about trying to help you.”

  She put a hand on Ice’s arm, the muscles firm and tense beneath the shiny fabric of his shirt. “Now tell me the things you care about. And I already know your mission to save Crimea is one of them. Tell me something else.”

  Ice stared, his mouth opening slightly, but he said nothing. After a long silence stretched between them, Ice said, “That is all I care about at the moment.”

  Maybe her disappointment showed on her face, because Ice nodded curtly. “Sleep well, Alana. I’ll see you in the morning.” And he was gone before she could say anything else.

  What the hell?

  What the hell, man?

  Dude wanted to kiss me and now he acts like he barely knows me? What the fuck? What the flying fuck? Alana was so annoyed she wanted to kick something. Anything. Mainly his ass.

  She might be good at helping couples get married but she didn’t still understand men. On top of that—alien males. You’d think this one came with an operating manual. Maybe some read-me file.

  Gah. This is so frustrating.

  She wanted to get some personal details from him. Find out about his family, friends and the types of things he enjoyed. If he’d ever been attracted to anyone, or had the urge to have sex with them. Just knowing one of them a little more intimately could help. And for some reason, she couldn’t stop thinking about how broad his shoulders and chest were, how strong his arms appeared, and how it was likely that no one had ever touched him or given him physical pleasure of any kind.

  A body like Ice’s never knowing the pleasures of the flesh, that was downright criminal.

  But if they were all as emotionally stunted as Ice and the other Crimean she’d met, Alana worried that the whole planet was about to be disappointed in their new “savior,” who couldn’t do a thing to help them.

  Chapter Nine

  When Ice left Alana, he busied himself with work. He arranged for Crimean volunteers to come to his office early the next morning in the hopes of helping her. She’d been so curious about him. If she could ask questions of many Crimeans, perhaps she’d find the answers she was looking for.

  Sleep didn’t come easy for Ice that night, and when he did sleep, it didn’t last. The attachment he felt for her didn’t go away like he’d hoped. When he nurtured his attachment, he found himself useless.

  He couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t work. He even couldn’t form a coherent sentence without sounding like he drank himself into his impaired state.

  What has gotten into me?

  Why has that human female gotten under my skin so much?

  He got up early and went to Alana’s room not long after lightrise. He stepped into her room, pleased to find Alana already awake.

  “Holy hell!” Alana stood next to the bed, naked. She turned her back to him and reached for the clothes that lay on top of the sheets. “Do none of you ever knock on a door before barreling through it?”

  “No. If the door isn’t locked, it’s an invitation to enter. Did no one explain that?”

  “Clearly not.” She pulled pants on, the sli
ck fabric sliding over the curve of her buttocks. Ice found them mesmerizing for some reason. The round, full side of her breast showed as she pulled on a top. When she turned, she frowned at him and crossed her arms. “You could have turned around.”

  “Forgive me. You didn’t ask me to, so I didn’t realize you wished that.” She had asked him to on the ship, but not this time. Humans were confusing.

  Alana sighed and shook her head. “It’s all right. I’ll learn your ways…eventually.”

  Other things confused Ice, too. When he’d told her on the ship that her naked body had no effect on him, he’d been telling the truth. It still didn’t have an effect on him, exactly, but he noted that he did find her form pleasing to look at.

  Very pleasing.

  He’d felt neutral on the ship. Curious. This time, he’d enjoyed seeing her body. The thought went through his mind that it might be the same thing people used to see in artwork.

  The attachment. Could this correlate to why he found her more pleasing?

  Ice had no time to consider it. Perhaps he’d spend time thinking about it later, but right now Alana needed to get to work. And he needed to help her.

  On the way back to the Ministry of Science, Ice explained that he’d arranged several interviews to help her understand what she was dealing with. She seemed impressed, and asked for some way to take notes of the meetings. Fortunately, Ice had arranged all that while he couldn’t sleep.

  Once they arrived, she looked around the room with her hands on her hips. Then she tossed her long, auburn hair over her shoulder, and Ice had that same sensation of enjoying the sight, though he couldn’t understand why.

  “So, this is your office?”

  “Yes. Feel free to consider it as much yours, for the time being. If you should need to use lab equipment for anything, simply ask.”

  Alana shrugged and smiled. “I promise I won’t. Not a scientist.”

  Ice pulled a holocube from a cabinet. “Since you don’t have a neuracom, you will need this to record or write down your notes.” He showed her how it worked.

  “So, this is basically a computer,” she said.

  “More advanced than what you have on Earth.”

  “Of course. Are you bragging?”

  He smiled. “Do I sound like it?”

  “Definitely. And you smiled. I think that was the first time I saw you genuinely smiling since we got off the ship. I like it.”

  “I take that as a compliment.”

  “It is a compliment, Ice.”

  “Now you sound angry.”

  “I’m not angry. Just a little irritated. Never mind. Forget it.”

  Ice watched her thoughtfully. “I read from your internet that something is really wrong when a woman says ‘it’s fine’ or ‘never mind.’”

  Alana schooled an unnatural smile on her face. “See this? I’m fine. Let’s go on with it.”

  “As you wish.”

  Alana took a deep breath and sat in Ice’s chair. “Okay. Have the first one sent in.”

  Ice pressed a screen behind him, and in seconds the door opened. He stood behind Alana, intent on observing these interviews and learning what he could.

  “This is Nova Windmarcher, Director of Quantum Physics Research and Development for the Imperial Agency.”

  Nova was taller than most females and more muscular. She wore her typical stern expression, different from the neutral one most Crimeans wore. But Nova was even more obsessed with work than the average Crimean, and it showed in her impatience with the questions. She’d volunteered, because she said she saw it as a learning experience, but she still seemed eager to get back to her own lab.

  “Nova, I’m Alana Watson.”

  “Yes, I know who you are.” Nova sat in the provided chair and rested her palms on her thighs.

  “All right. Nova, can you tell me how you feel about dating?”

  “Dating is a waste of time.”

  Alana wrote in the holocube. “Why?”

  “The goal of dating is to find a compatible partner. I’m satisfied with my work and social life as it is, therefore I have no need for a partner.”

  “Okay, what does your social life consist of?” Alana pulled her hair back into a ponytail and held it with one hand.

  “My colleagues and I spend quality time together in a tavern at Moon End imbibing in mild forms of alcohol after we’ve made a particularly worthy breakthrough.”

  “I see.” Alana cleared her throat and leaned on her elbows. “What about later in life? Aren’t you concerned you might get lonely without one person close to you to share your life with?”

  “Lonely? I’m not sure what that is.”

  “Lonely is when you’re alone and wish you weren’t.”

  “That won’t happen. I enjoy solitary time, and generally prefer being alone. Avoiding attachments allows me to pursue my interests without interruption or distractions. I see no reason why that would change.”

  Alana took a deep breath and made a few notes. “What about your family? Surely you have attachments to them.”

  “I’m a decant, lab-created and raised by the Imperial government. I suppose I’m grateful for the life I have, but I feel no attachment to the government beyond loyalty and duty.”

  Alana’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times. “But what about love? Haven’t you ever felt anything close to it?”

  “Love? Not that I know of. Though I am fond of a special type of steamed coral pudding. I would enjoy eating it every day. Does that qualify as love?”

  Alana wrote in the holocube without answering the question. Ice knew the pudding Nova spoke of. It really was delicious, but he didn’t think he loved it. He liked it a great deal.

  After a few more questions, Nova left.

  “Was her interview helpful?” Ice asked.

  “Um, yes. Because I’m starting to see the problem you’re dealing with. Ice, on earth this would be considered a very personal question, so forgive me if I’m overstepping, but have you ever had sex?”

  “Sexual intercourse?”

  “Yes, sexual intercourse,” she replied deadpan.

  “I haven’t, no.”

  “Like seriously?”

  “Yes, I’m serious.”

  “Wow. This must be the first time I met a man who never think with his Little Johnny. That’s practically unheard of.”

  “I don’t understand what you mean.”

  She waved “never mind”. “Do you think any of the volunteers here today have had sex?”

  “It’s not likely. Though a few are elder and may have many years ago before most people lost all interest in it.”

  Alana turned in the chair to face him. She looked scandalized. “You’re not even curious about sex, at all?”

  “No one is anymore. But some must learn to be, or our species may not survive.”

  “Right. That’s why I’m here.”

  Ice signaled for the next volunteer to come in. “Brook Windgrass. He’s the Logistic Specialist at Farm Four Two Seven.”

  “Hello, Brook,” Alana said. “Can you tell me what you think about dating and marriage?”

  Brook paused a moment before saying, “I think they’re novel ideas whose time is past.”

  “You don’t wish to be married someday?”

  “Why would I want to do that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, to start a family and be with someone you love for the rest of your life, maybe.”

  “Sounds like little more than a hassle.”

  Alana held the stylus above the cube, and seemed to be trying to figure out what to say next. “So you’re saying you’ve never loved someone?”

  Brook’s eyebrows drew together in concentration. After a long silence, Alana thanked him and told him he could go. She turned to Ice and raised her eyebrows. He wasn’t sure what some of her expressions meant, but he was trying to learn.

  After a few more Crimeans had answered Alana’s questions and given similar answers that Ice fo
und himself nodding in agreement to, Alana sighed and leaned back in the chair. Her hair hung over the back of it in soft waves that looked pleasant to the touch.

  Would it?

  Ice looked away, and tried to focus on the mission. He didn’t have time for trivial things like imagining the softness of hair or anything else. He cleared his throat. “Shall I send the next one in?”

  Alana turned back to her notebook and wrote a few sentences. “Might as well. If I interview enough of you, I’m bound to find some who feel differently than the average Crimean.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “I hope so. Or I’m not sure how much I’m going to be able to accomplish.”

  Ice hesitated before touching the screen. “I believe you can help us, Alana. I do wish you would believe it, too.”

  She gave him a little smile and said, “Thanks. I’ll try.”

  Ice touched the screen to have the next volunteer sent in, but thought about the color of Alana’s lips for the first thirty seconds of the interview and completely missed the questions and answers.

  Chapter Ten

  Alana watched another Crimean walk out of the office with a confused frown because she’d asked if he’d ever felt love. How was it possible that a whole species didn’t seem to understand what love really was? The closest thing any of them had ever felt was a sense of pride at doing a good job or the feeling they had when eating a food they particularly liked. Two more since Nova had mentioned the special coral pudding.

  Ice stood behind her to the right. She noticed he often nodded at certain answers as if he agreed, particularly when the Crimeans were explaining how they didn’t have time or the wish to find a partner or have a family because they were content with their lives.

  She made some notes, then Ice said, “Echo Dreamwights. Literature professor at Imperial University.”

  The woman was the most striking one she’d seen all morning with an elegance about her, almost an aura of regality. Her answers were the same as the rest.

  “Would you like to become a mother someday?” Alana finally asked.