Break Her Fall
Page 22
Ezekiel pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and stayed silent. He wondered if she’d ever talked about this to anyone. Vivian might have known the short version of the story, but had Ami ever purged this anger and sadness to anyone else?
“My father held Alex, and Brian ordered me to shift in front of him. Even seeing what I really was, Alex said he didn’t care, that he loved me. But Brian said humans couldn’t know our secret, that Alex could put the whole Pride in danger. I knew he wouldn’t betray us, but it didn’t matter. Brian was so much more dominant than I was back then. When he ordered my cat to submit, I couldn’t fight it. He made me watch as my father tore Alex apart with his claws. I can still hear his screams when I sleep at night, begging me to help him. A piece of me died with him and I’ve been empty since then. From that night on, Brian had me. I was an accessory to the murder of a human and he used it to manipulate me for the next few years.”
“I’m so sorry, Ami. Goddamn, I had no idea.” He kissed her temple and her cheek, nuzzled his nose to her neck. “It’s a miracle you’re not like Myra.”
“My friends saved me. Vivian kept me sane, made me work hard to be more than Brian’s pet. Tyrone protected me against what he could. Melissa reminded me to have hope. Conall gave me strength to push past Brian’s training.”
“And your alpha, Trace, he knew about all this? The boy being murdered, Brian abusing you?”
She scoffed. “Of course he did. He is just as sick as Brian; worse.” Ami turned her face to him. “See why I don’t want you in my head? I don’t want you to see this, Z. You don’t need my memories. They’re nothing but blood and pain and filth.”
Ezekiel cupped her cheek and ran his hand through her hair. “You, this beautiful, fierce, funny, loyal woman in front of me, are the sum of your experiences. Not your mistakes, not the things you’ve done, but the lessons you’ve learned from them. You’re incredible, Amilynn. You’re a survivor. A warrior. An overcomer. Don’t be ashamed of that.”
Ami’s emerald eyes shined as she met his gaze. “I’m not whole.”
Ezekiel leaned over her and tucked her close to his body. “Then let me in, let me fill in the holes and cracks until you’re all patched up. Let me love you so much your heart heals and your faith in us is rock solid.”
Ami placed a hand over his heart and smiled. “I’ll try. I promise.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
About that time, Amilynn yawned. “Sorry.”
“You need to rest. I’m such a terrible caretaker.” He moved off the bed and bent for his jeans.
“But you are damn fine eye candy, mister.”
He glanced over his shoulder to see her staring. Heat flashed in her eyes.
“You’re going to kill me. I just know it.” He leaned over to kiss her. “Now, Doc Charles will be here in about a couple hours. Unless you want the whole house to know we’ve slept together, I’d better change these sheets.”
“I should take a bath. I stink like wolf.” Ami wrinkled up her nose. It was such a cute reaction that he couldn’t resist teasing her.
“Hell yeah, you do, baby.” He bit at her nipple and her mouth hung open. “Never smelled or tasted better, if I do say so myself.” His grin made her giggle.
Ami rolled her eyes. “Help me get in the tub, caveman.”
“Can I throw you over my shoulder?”
Ami pursed her lips and lost her playfulness. “No.” Her dry answer only made him laugh more.
He was falling hard and fast and loving every minute of it.
Kasey hauled Vivian from Ami’s room and paid no attention to the people in the living room who might have seen her resisting. He shut her in their suite and paced in front of the fireplace.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Vivian hissed, rubbing her wrist.
“It would be easier to walk away? That’s how you feel? Even after every—” He clenched his fist over his mouth.
“Of course that’s how I feel,” Vivian said, her voice louder than intended. “Giving up is always easier. But I’m here, aren’t I? I’m still standing, still fighting. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
Kasey dropped his hand. “Of course, kitten. But I don’t like the fact that you still have one foot out the door in the name of protecting my Pack.”
“I don’t.” Vivian threw her hands up. “But even you can’t deny what a royal clusterfuck this is.”
“And we’ll get through it.”
“At what cost?” Vivian asked. Kasey’s face whipped up to stare at her. “You’re going to sacrifice your entire Pack just for me? I don’t think so.”
Kasey was on her before Vivian could react. He held her by the shoulders and looked her right in the eyes. “I’d sacrifice everything for you. Every-fucking-thing.”
“Yes,” Vivian whispered. “Including your own bloodline. So who’s going to save the Pack from you?”
Kasey stepped back like she’d slapped him. His eyes went wide and his mouth hung open. Good, she thought. It was time he woke up from this dream world where love conquered all.
“What would you have me do?” Kasey spread his arms open wide. “Tell me, Vivian. What do you want?”
Vivian thought for a moment. What could she do? How could she end this before it ever began? “Turn me loose. Let me do what I do best so I can take care of Trace. I can get in and out without anyone ever knowing.”
He froze. She could see the wheels turning in his head. “No.”
“If Ty came with me, it would be simple and quick.”
“No, dammit.” Kasey shook his head wildly. He rubbed at his temple like her words hurt his head. But he knew she was right.
“I can finish what I started. I can kill Trace.”
“And if you get caught? If you get captured, and I can’t get you out? Then what? No. No!”
“Kasey . . .”
“No, Vivian. That’s an order from your mate and your alpha.” Kasey stuck his finger in her face and his wolf peered out of those human eyes.
Vivian hissed at him, her tiger riled at anyone throwing out orders.
“You will speak no more of this. You’re mine now and I will not let my mate go off on a suicide mission. Could you imagine what it would do to Melissa if anything happened to you?”
Vivian met him nose to nose. “Don’t try to use my sister against me. I’ve protected her as best I could for longer than you’ve been around. If I took out Trace, she would be safe here.”
“Without a sister and a husband? You actually believe that?”
Vivian pushed him out of her way and she stepped over to the fireplace. “You know what your problem is? You have no faith in me.”
“Oh, please.” Kasey just rolled his head around.
“No, I mean it. You think just because Jake got the upper hand on me that I suddenly can’t defend myself. It’s bullshit. If you think for one minute that I’m going to turn into some tea sipping, hat-and-heel-wearing alpha female who won’t get her hands dirty, you’re dead wrong.” Vivian stormed past him towards the door of their room, but Kasey was quicker.
He grabbed her shoulder and swung her around, pinning her to the wall with his weight. “Don’t walk out on me, ever. We’re not done. I gave you an order, and you had better listen.”
Vivian’s chest rose with each heavy breath. Why did her mate have to be so damned sexy when he was being macho-alpha-man? It turned her on more than sappy romance crap. His wild side was his most attractive feature in her eyes.
“Make me.” Vivian narrowed her eyes and called up her tiger.
Kasey’s lip curled up in a snarl that set her panties on fire. “Gladly.” He flipped her around and ripped her shirt down the back. His claw went right through her bra strap but didn’t touch her skin.
“I liked that shirt,” she complained just to keep up the argument.
“Tough shit, kitten.” Kasey put his lips right to her ear. “I think I need to keep you naked and in my bed until you remember who you b
elong to.”
“Maybe you’re the one who needs the lesson.” Vivian ducked from his embrace and kicked out at his legs, taking him to the floor. As she backed away, she unbuttoned her jeans, loving the way his eyes tracked the movement of her fingers as her pants slid to the floor.
Kasey’s wolfish grin made her lick her lips. He was on his feet in a heartbeat, removing his pants and kicking them to the side as he tore his shirt off over his head. “Bring it, kitten. I’m ready for whatever you’ve got.” He palmed his erection and Vivian wanted to purr at the sight of him stroking himself. Her mate was too fine, stalking her, wearing nothing more than a smile and his socks.
“On the bed, punk.” Vivian pushed him down on the bed and straddled him, her chest bare and heaving with excitement.
“Maybe I want you on bottom,” Kasey said right before he flipped her over on her back and used his mass to pin her down.
“You have to sleep sometime, you know,” Vivian snapped at him when he tried to kiss her. This was seriously the best foreplay ever.
“And you’ll be passed out right beside me after I get done with you.” With no finesse, Kasey lodged himself inside her. It didn’t matter that he didn’t warm her up first; she was wet and raring to go. Vivian let her claws come out and raked him across the back. He cursed, but it didn’t stop the frantic pace of his thrusts. She cried out and arched her back.
Kasey paused and gripped her cheek. “You’ll tell me if this hurts, won’t you? The doctor hasn’t cleared you for sex, kitten.”
Even in the middle of their fight and play, he was still looking out for her. My love. Vivian nodded once and tilted her hips to take him deeper. The wolf flashed in his eyes again and he picked up his movements. Vivian held nothing back. She wrapped her legs around him and held on for the rough ride. They ended up on the floor in a ball of blankets and claws, sweat and orgasms. She’d never been loved so thoroughly, and her body hummed with the aftershocks.
Vivian didn’t have the strength to get back on the bed, so she and Kasey crashed on the floor, wrapped in each other’s arms, lax and sated.
“I’m not going to leave you, Kasey. Ever.” Vivian kissed his jaw. “I love you so much it makes me ache when I’m not with you. But I can’t be like the alpha females of old. Everyone has to adjust their expectations, including you.”
He sighed and hugged her closer. “Don’t you think I know that? I’ve never asked you to be like my mother or my grandmother. I’m perfectly fine rocking the boat.”
“I just thought . . .” She took a deep breath. “I just thought since I couldn’t give you a baby, that I could give you the kind of alpha female you want.”
“Kitten.” Kasey fastened his lips on hers and kissed her until her blood stirred again, pooling in dark places. “I want you, only you. You’re perfect as you are. Strong, dominant, powerful, and wild enough to take me on.”
“Every day of the week, punk.” Vivian smiled at him. His return grin melted her for all time. “I love you.”
“Always, Vivian, always.”
NATE AND TOM’S return from school was exactly what Amilynn needed. The boys came to her room, flipped on the television, and curled up on the bed with her. Tom went on about a science project he was acing—of course—and the cheerleader he’d unofficially asked out. Nate bragged about the girl in his fifth period math class that he was into. Ami gladly accepted their distraction.
Ezekiel left when they arrived to run errands and check in with Kasey and Sampson. The minute he left her presence, her leopard whimpered. She shook her head, unbelieving how quickly he’d become an integral part of her thoughts. What was he doing? Was he thinking about her too? Was he trying to get away from her for a while?
I miss you too, pussycat, came his reply. Had she broadcasted her thoughts to him? Oops. I love it. I love knowing you’re thinking about me like I’m thinking about you.
Ami bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling.
“Listen, baby girl,” Nate said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know you’re probably thinking of your lover boy. But for reals, can I get some attention up in here? I’m trying to get what little of your time I’m allotted now that you’re all mated and crap.”
“Allotted?” Ami giggled. “Have you been reading the dictionary?”
“Yeah, while I try to take a crap in a litter box, thank you. Not.” He let out a huff that sounded more wolf than human.
Amilynn and Tom both cracked up laughing. Nate retrieved a box of cards and dealt them out a hand.
“Hey, you know what we need to do as soon as Ami’s able?” Tom said, examining his cards. “We need to go on a run. I haven’t gone wolf in a few days.”
“That’s a date, sir.” Ami held up her hand for high-fives. “I’m about ready to go climb a tree or two. I need to stretch my claws.”
Nate’s brows crinkled as he moved his cards around in his hand. “You know what I thought about today?”
“Girls.”
“Nothing.”
Ami and Tom spoke at once.
“Both of you can bite my furry butt.” Nate laid down a card. “Seriously. Ezekiel and Brooks took a team out to look at the ground sensors, right?”
Ami nodded, wondering where he was going. Her hand of cards was crap, so she didn’t bother playing.
“Well, when you go leopard, you head straight for the trees. You like to be up high, off the ground.”
“The motion sensors wouldn’t detect an aerial attack,” Tom said, finishing his point.
“Surely someone as educated in tactics as Brooks would know this, right?” Nate gnawed on his cheek, his usual sign of having a good hand. Kid should never play professional poker.
“I’m sure that between Brooks—who is Kasey’s chief of Packland Security, after all—Sampson, and Conall, they’ve thought about that,” Ami assured the boys, but at the same time, she made a mental note to talk to Z about it. Brian’s men could ambush an entire squad of wolves if they attacked from the trees, especially before daylight.
They played a few more rounds before Amilynn insisted they take care of homework and chores. She didn’t want Bianca to get on them.
Nate shook his head and sighed. “Man oh man, you officially take on the sister title and, suddenly, you’re the warden.”
“For reals,” Tom agreed with an eye roll.
Ami laughed. “How’d you know?”
Tom tapped his face. “We have noses, Ami. Z’s stink is on you.”
“Yeah, you stank.” Nate shuddered. “All the flowers in the world can’t cover that up.”
Amilynn threw a pillow at Nate. There was something mortifying about teenage boys knowing she’d just shagged their brother. Balls. He laughed and kissed her cheek. So did Tom.
“Go do your homework, brats. The last thing I need is for your mom to get on my case for distracting you.”
Left alone, Ami’s mind wandered over everything that happened that day. Only she could get away with checking off kill a psycho and mate with extreme hottie on the same list. Then again, that was the story of her life. The two things she was trained to do stuck with her all this time. Fight and fuck. Was there no escape from who she was? Would she ever be more than this?
“Hey.” Conall knocked on her door and poked his head in.
“Hey yourself.” She smiled at the welcomed visitor.
“I thought you might like to chill with me . . . in the den.” He sniffed, glanced at the myriad of floral arrangements in the room, and wrinkled his nose.
“Sure. Mind giving me a hand?”
Conall pulled her out of her bed and helped position her in the wheelchair. Ami twisted her long hair into a messy bun, and Conall wheeled her out into the living area. He aided Ami onto the couch and flopped down close to her with the remote. They were quiet for a while, which was okay. But Conall didn’t seek out her company for no reason. She waited him out.
Finally, he cleared his throat. “So, uh, you cool with all this?”
/> “A lot of shit went down today, Conall. You have to be more specific.”
“Okay, um, the mating thing? You carry his scent, so I’m guessing you’re not fighting it anymore.”
Ami leaned her head on his shoulder. Poor Conall. He was really the odd man out now, wasn’t he? “I’m good with it. Took me some time to get my head out of my ass, but Ezekiel has taken really good care of me the last couple days, you know? I guess I had to see that he really cared about me as a person.”
Conall nodded. His massive chest heaved with a deep breath. “What about Myra?”
“What about her?” Ami tried to brush off the sick feeling in her stomach every time she thought about her.
“You killed someone today, Ami. That’s heavy.”
“That’s unavoidable at this stage in the game. The longer she lived, the more likely she was to break out. I couldn’t risk that.”
“Agreed.”
“Sampson is pissed at me.”
“Why?” Conall wrinkled his forehead and stared at her.
Ami sighed. “He heard Vivian and me fighting, and I might have said something about the Pack soldiers being more defensive than offensive in their tactics.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’ve noticed that too.” He rubbed his chin with his knuckles, a nervous habit.
They halted their conversation when a few youngsters came in the back door from using the pool and waved at them before exiting the front door. Neither Conall nor Ami had an issue with the Pack coming and going in the alpha house. But they didn’t want to speak of death in front of the little ones.
“Anyway,” Ami said once they were alone, “Doc Charles is supposed to be here soon to look at my leg.”
“How is it?”