Winston Groom - Gump & Company.jpg

by Gump

  An so it went, me signin papers an Ivan an Mike Mulligan buyin an sellin. Meantime, I was gettin my taste of the high life in New York City. I gone to Broadway plays an private clubs an charity benefits at Tavern on the Green. Seems like nobody don't cook at home in New York, but go out to restaurants ever night an eat mysterious-lookin food that cost as much as a new suit of clothes. But I guess it don't matter to me, account of I am makin so much money. Miss Hudgins, she is my "escort" at these affairs. She says Ivan Bozosky wants me to keep a "high profile," an indeed this is so. Ever week I am mentioned in the newspaper gossip columns, an many times they run my picture, too. Miss Hudgins says there are three newspapers in New York—the "smart people's paper," the "dumb people's paper," an the "stupid people's paper." But, Miss Hudgins say, everbody who is anybody reads all three, account of they want to see if they are in there.

  One night we had got through with a big charity dance an Miss Hudgins was gonna drop me off at the Helmsley Palace before Eddie took her home. But this time, she say she'd like to come up to my suite "for a nightcap." I am wonderin why, but it is not nice to say no to a lady, so we went on up.

  Soon as we get inside, Miss Hudgins turns on the hi-fi, goes over to the bar, an makes a drink. Straight scotch. Then she kicks off her shoes an plops down on the sofa in a reclinin pose.

  "Why don't you kiss me," she asts.

  I gone over an give her a peck on the cheek, but she graps me an hauls me down on top of her.

  "Here, Forrest, I want you to sniff this." With one hand, she dumps a little white powder from a vial out on her thumbnail.

  "Why?" I ast.

  "Cause it'll make you feel good. It'll make you feel powerful."

  "Why I need to feel that?"

  "Just do it," she says. "Just this one time. If you don't like it, you don't have to do it again."

  I didn't much want to, but it seemed harmless enough, you know? Wadn't but a little bit of white powder. An so I done it. Made me sneeze.

  "I've waited a long time for this, Forrest," she says. "I want you."

  "Ah, well," I says, "I thought we had a sort of workin relationship, you know?"

  "Yeah, well, it's time you get to working!" she pants, an begun to undo my tie an grap at me with her hands.

  Well, I didn't know what I was sposed to do. I mean, I had always heard it was a mistake to git involved with persons you work with—"Do not foul your own nest" was what Lieutenant Dan used to say—but at this point, I am truly confused. Miss Hudgins was certainly a beautiful woman, an I had not been with a woman, beautiful or otherwise, in a long time... an after all, you are not sposed to say no to a lady... an so I done made all the excuses I could think of in the time allowed, an the next thing I knowed, Miss Hudgins an I was in bed.

  After it was over, she smoked a cigarette an thowed on her clothes an left, an I was there alone. She had lit the fire in the fireplace an the logs was flickerin low an orange, an I was not feelin good, like I reckon I was sposed to, but sort of lonely an scared, an wonderin where my life is headed up in New York City. An as I am lyin there, starin at the fire, lo an behole, there suddenly appeared Jenny's face in the flames.

  "Well, bozo, I spose you're proud of yourself," she says.

  "Oh, no, I'm not, in fact, I'm sorry. I didn't never want to get into bed with Miss Hudgins in the first place," I tole her.

  "That's not what I'm talkin about, Forrest," Jenny says. "I didn't expect you to never sleep with another woman. You're a human. You got needs. That's not it."

  "Then what is it?"

  "Your life, you big moose. What are you doing here? When was the last time you spent any time with little Forrest?"

  "Well, I called him a few weeks ago. I sent him money..."

  "And you think that's all there is to it, huh? Just send the money and make a few phone calls?"

  "No—but what I'm gonna do? Where I'm gonna get the money. Who else is gonna give me a job? Ivan's payin me top dollar here."

  "Yeah? For what? Do you have any idea what those papers are you're signing every day?"

  "I ain't sposed to, Jenny—that's what Mr. Bozosky said."

  "Uh huh. Well, I reckon you're just gonna have to find out the hard way. And I spose you don't have any idea what that crap was you just stuck up your nose, either."

  "Not really."

  "But you did it anyhow, just like you always do. You know, Forrest, I've always said you might not be the brightest feller in town, but you're not as dumb as you act sometimes. I've known you all my life and the problem is, mostly, you just don't think—You know what I mean?"

  "Well, I was kinda hopin you'd help me out there a little."

  "I told you, it ain't my turn to watch you all the time, Forrest. You gotta start lookin out for yourself—and while you're at it, you might pay a little more attention to little Forrest. Mama's gettin old, she can't do it all. Boy like that, he needs a daddy in his life."

  "Where?" I ast. "Here? You want me to move him up to this dump—I might be stupid, but I ain't so dumb I don't see that this ain't no place to raise a boy—everbody either rich or poor, an no in between. These people, they ain't got no values, Jenny. It's all about money an shit, an gettin your ass in the newspaper columns."

  "Yeah, an you're right in the middle of it, aren't you? What you're describing is just one side of this town that you're seeing. Maybe there's another one. People are pretty much the same, everyplace."

  "I am doing what I am tole," I says.

  "What ever happened to doin the right thing?"

  To this, I had no answer, an all of a sudden, Jenny's face begun to fade behind the fire.

  "Now, wait a minute," I says. "We is just beginnin to get things straight—Don't go now—It ain't been but a couple of minutes..."

  "See you later, alligator," she says, an then she is gone. I set up in the bed an tears come to my eyes. Ain't nobody understands what is happenin with me—not even Jenny. I wanted to pull the sheets over my head an not get up at all, but after a while, I gone on an got dressed an went into the office. On my desk, Miss Hudgins had left a pile of papers for me to sign.

  Well, I know that Jenny is right about one thing. I got to spend some time with little Forrest, an so I arranged for him to come up to New York City for a few days' vacation. He arrived on a Friday, an Eddie picked him up at the airport in my limousine, which I figgered would impress him. It didn't.

  He come into my office wearin dungarees an a T-shirt, took a quick look around, an delivered his opinion.

  "I'd rather be back at the pig farm."

  "How come?" I ast.

  "What's so good about all this?" he says. "You gotta nice view. So what?"

  "It's where I earn my livin," I says.

  "Doin what?"

  "Signin papers."

  "This what you gonna do the rest of your life?"

  "I dunno. I mean, it pays the bills."

  He shook his head an gone over to the winder.

  "What's that out there?" he ast. "That the Statue of Liberty?"

  "Yup," I says. "That's her." I can't get over how much he has growed up. He must be more than five feet tall an is certainly a handsome young man, with Jenny's blond hair an blue eyes.

  "You wanna go see her?"

  "Who?"

  "The Statue of Liberty."

  "I guess," he says.

  "Well, good, cause I done arranged for us to take a tour of the town these next few days. We is gonna see all the sights."

  So that's what we did. We gone down Fifth Avenue to see the shops an out to the Statue of Liberty an the top of the Empire State Buildin, where little Forrest says he wants to thow somethin off to see how long it takes to land on the ground. I did not let him do that, though. We gone up to Grant's Tomb an down to Broadway, where they was a man exposin himself, an in Central Park, but not for long, account of there was muggers present. We took the subway an come out near the Plaza Hotel, where we stopped in for a CokeCola. The bill come an it was twenty-five
dollars.

  "That's a bunch of shit," says little Forrest.

  "I reckon I can afford it," I says, but he just shook his head an walk on out to the car. I can see he ain't havin such a good time, but what I'm gonna do about it? He don't want to see no plays, an the FAO Schwarz store bores him. I took him to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, an for a while, he seems interested in somethin looks like King Tut's tomb, but then he says it's all just a bunch of ole stuff, an we are on the street again.

  I let him off at the apartment an gone back to the office. When Miss Hudgins brought me in another batch of papers to sign, I ast her what I oughta do.

  "Well, maybe he'd like to see some famous people, you know?"

  "Where I'm gonna find em?"

  "Only place in town," she says, "Elaine's restaurant."

  "What is that?" I ast.

  "You gotta see it to believe it" was Miss Hudgins' answer.

  So we went to Elaine's restaurant.

  We go there at five o'clock sharp, account of that's the time most people have they supper, but Elaine's restaurant was deserted. It was not the sort of place I had expected; to say it is nothin fancy is a understatement. There was some waiters hangin around, an at the end of the bar was this big ole jolly-lookin lady doin paperwork. I figger her to be Elaine.

  While little Forrest waited by the door, I gone over an introduced mysef, an tole her why I was there.

  "Fine," Elaine says, "but you come a little early. Most folks don't start showin up here for another four or five hours."

  "What? They eat someplace else an come in here later?" last.

  "No, you dummy. They are all at cocktail parties or plays or openings or somethin. This is a late-night place."

  "Well, you mind if we set down an have our food?"

  "Go right ahead."

  "Any idea which famous people will be showin up later?" I ast.

  "It'll be the usual suspects, I guess. Barbra Streisand, Woody Allen, Kurt Vonnegut, George Plimpton, Lauren Bacall—who knows, maybe Paul Newman or Jack Nicholson's in town."

  "They all come here?"

  "Sometimes—but listen, there is one rule, and you can't violate it. There will be no goin over to these famous people's tables and disturbin them. No picture taking, no tape recording, no nothin. Now, you just sit right at that big round table. That's the 'family table,' an if any famous people come in that don't have other arrangements, I will put them there, an you can talk to them."

  So that's what we did, little Forrest an me. We ate our supper an dessert an then a second dessert, but ain't but a handful of people have arrived at Elaine's. I could tell little Forrest was bored, but I figger this is my last chance to impress him with New York, an just about the time I see him squirmin to leave, the door opens an who should be comin in but Elizabeth Taylor.

  After that, the place begun to fill up very fast. Bruce Willis an Donald Trump an Cher, the movie star. Sure enough, in comes George Plimpton with his friend, a Mister Spinelli, an the writer William Styron. Woody Allen arrives with a whole entourage, as does the writers Kurt Vonnegut an Norman Mailer an Robert Ludlum. They was all sorts of beautiful people, wearin expensive clothes an furs. I had read about some of them in the papers, an was tryin to explain who they was to little Forrest.

  Unfortunately, all of them seem to have other plans, an are sittin with each other, an not with us. After a while, Elaine comes over an sets down, I guess so we do not feel too lonely.

  "I guess it's a light night for bachelors," she says.

  "Yup," I says. "But even if we can't talk to them, maybe you could tell us what they is talkin about with each other—just to give little Forrest an idea of what famous people talk about."

  "Talk about?" says Elaine. "Well, the movie stars, they are talkin about themselves, I imagine."

  "What about the writers?" I ast.

  "Writers?" she says. "Huh. They are talkin about what they always talk about—baseball, money, and pieces of ass."

  About this time the door open an a feller come in, an Elaine motions him over to the table to sit down.

  "Mr. Gump, I want you to meet Tom Hanks," she says.

  "Pleased to meet you," I say, an introduce him to little Forrest.

  "I've seen you," little Forrest says, "on television."

  "You an actor?" I ast.

  "Sure am," Tom Hanks says. "What about you?"

  So I tole him a little bit about my checkered career, an after he listened for a while, Tom Hanks says, "Well, Mr. Gump, you are sure a curious feller. Sounds like somebody ought to make a movie of your life's story."

  "Nah," I says, "ain't nobody be interested in somethin stupid like that."

  "You never know," says Tom Hanks. " 'Life is like a box of chocolates.' By the way, I just happen to have a box of chocolates right here—You wanna buy some?"

  "Nah, I don't think so, I ain't big on chocolates—but thanks, anyhow."

  Tom Hanks looks at me kinda funny. "Well, 'stupid is as stupid looks,' I always say." An at that, he gets up an goes to another table.

  Next mornin, there is a serious disturbance at Ivan Bozosky's offices.

  "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" shouts Miss Hudgins. "They have arrested Mr. Bozosky!"

  "Who have?" I ast.

  "The police," she hollered. "Who else arrests people! They have taken him to jail!"

  "What'd he do?"

  "Insider trading!" she yelled. "They have accused him of insider trading!"

  "But I am the president of the insider trading division," I says. "How come they didn't arrest me?"

  "It ain't too late for that, bigshot." The voice belonged to a big ole ugly-lookin detective who was standin in the doorway. Behind him was two cops in uniforms.

  "You just come along peaceful, now, an there won't be any trouble."

  I done what he tole me, but his last line was pure bullshit.

  So I am thowed in jail again. I might of known all this couldn't last forever, but I didn't expect there would be such a big deal about it all. Not only have they arrested Ivan Bozosky, but they have thowed Mike Mulligan in jail, too, an various other folks in the bidness. Miss Hudgins is also locked up as a "material witness." They give me one phone call to make, so I phoned little Forrest at the Helmsley an tole him I would not be home for supper. I just could not bring mysef to say his daddy was in the jug again.

  Anyhow, Ivan, he is in the ajoinin cell to mine, an to my surprise, he is lookin rather chipper.

  "Well, Gump, I believe the time has come for you to do your trained bear act," he says.

  "Yeah, what is that?"

  "Just what you did for Colonel North—lie, cover up, take the blame."

  "For who?"

  "For me, you stupo! Why in hell do you think I made you president of my insider trading division? Because of your brains and good looks? To take the heat, in case of something like this, is why I hired you."

  "Oh," I says. I might of knowed there was a catch.

  Over the next few days, I am interrogated by about a hundrit cops an lawyers an investigators for all sorts of financial agencies. But I don't tell em nothin. I just kep my big mouth shut, which pissed em off royally, but ain't nothin they can do. They is so many of them, I can't tell which is representin me an Mr. Bozosky an Mike Mulligan, an who is against us. Don't matter. I am quiet as a clam.

  One day the jail guard come by, say I got a visitor. When I gone into the visitors room, sure enough, it was little Forrest.

  "How'd you find out?" I ast.

  "How could I not find out? It's been all over the papers and television. Folks are sayin it's the biggest scandal since Teapot Dome."

  "Since who?"

  "Never mind," he says. "Anyway, I finally got to meet Mrs. Helmsley, who you said was sposed to be so nice."

  "Oh, yeah? She takin good care of you?"

  "Sure—she thowed me out."

  "Did what?"

  "Thowed us out, bag and baggage, on the street. Said she don't feature no crook livin
in her hotel."

  "So how you gettin by?"

  "I got a job washin dishes."

  "Well, I got some money in the bank. There's a checkbook someplace in my stuff. You can use it to get a place to stay till you gotta go home. Might even be enough to make my bail outta here."

  "Yeah, all right," he says. "Looks like you really done it this time, though."

  In this, little Forrest seems correct.

  After the bail was paid, I was free to go for the time bein. But not far. Me an little Forrest rented a walk-up flat in a neighborhood filled with criminals an beggars an ladies of the night.

  Little Forrest was interested to know what I'm gonna do when the trial is helt an, to tell the truth, I dunno mysef. I mean, I was hired to take the fall, an there is a certain amount of honor in doin what you is sposed to do. On the other hand, it kinda don't seem fair for me to spend the rest of my life in the slammer just so's Ivan Bozosky an Mike Mulligan can go on livin the high life. One day, little Forrest pipes up with a request.

  "You know, I wouldn't mind goin out to the Statue of Liberty again," he says. "I sort of enjoyed that trip."

  So that's what we did.

  We took the excursion boat out to the statue, an it was all pretty an gleamin in the afternoon sunshine. We stopped an read the inscription about the "huddled masses yearning to breathe free," an then we gone on up to the top of the torch, an looked out across the harbor at New York, with all the tall buildins that seemed like they go right on up into the clouds.

  "You gonna rat them out, or what?" little Forrest ast.

  "Rat who out?"

  "Ivan Bozosky an Mike Mulligan."

  "I dunno—Why?"

  "Cause you better be thinkin about it an make a decision," he says.

  "I been thinkin about it—I just don't know what to do."

  "Rattin's not very nice," he says. "You didn't rat out Colonel North..."

  "Yeah, an look where it got me—thowed in the can."