Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3)

by Maria Macdonald

  If I only knew.

  I never thought I could change from the person I know as me, to someone I hardly recognise. And in only one day. But I have and it scares me—a lot. Today had so much promise, it started out so well. It’s just a pity that everything in my life eventually turns to shit. If I could just go back to this morning when I met Lewis for a coffee. Maybe I wouldn’t be sitting on my own in the rain right now.

  “This place is nice,” I tell Lewis looking around the coffee house. “I like the West Village.”

  “Only the best for my favourite girl,” he answers with a wink and the blinding smile that always has women swooning.

  “Not sure I’m your favourite girl. Let’s see…hmm, yeah, I’m pretty sure Samantha was your favourite girl, then Julia, oh and Carrie.”

  Smirking he rolls his eyes. It’s cute. “Okay, my favourite platonic girl. My favourite girl that is like my sister…is that better?”

  I laugh. “Much. Although, seriously, I do really like it here. It’s nice, quaint, kinda homely.” His face changes to a look of disgust.

  “It is not homely Libs, anything but. You know what this place is?” I shake my head. “This is the best untapped area for finding new women,” he tells me laughing.

  “You’re a douche, you know that right?” I ask.

  Shrugging his shoulders, his eyes trail a couple of women on the other side of the street. “Yeah, but the women love a bad boy. Plus, I’m not made for relationships Libs.”

  I met Lewis through Con about a year ago. He tried to get in my panties almost the minute I met him, but I shut that down quick and we actually became really close. Lewis is like the brother I wish I’d had over the last decade. He’s funny, charming and a good listener which is surprising, seeing as he’s such a joker. Above all of that he’s very protective, and it’s how I imagine a brother would be. Lewis rarely talks about his past, if he does it’s always because whiskey has had something to do with it. He was engaged at a young age, that much I know, and he’s completely anti-relationships. I haven’t seen him much lately because we’ve both been busy. On top of that Davy never liked Lewis, the feeling from Lewis was mutual, but I didn’t want that coming between either relationship, so I always saw them separately.

  “So what’s been going on with you Lewis?”

  “Nothing to talk about, it’s all been pretty quiet for me, I’m hoping to get some action this weekend though. There’s a party on the East Side that I’m gonna hit.”

  “Oh my God, you did not just tell me about your sex life!” I complain.

  “What? Wasn’t that what you were asking, Libs?” he asks, the look of innocence sits on his face, but I know he’s far from innocent and knows exactly what he’s doing. “No seriously sweetness, I’ve not been up to much, just working. Just to say, though, I’m glad that you ended shit with that guy.”

  “Davy. Yeah, he was an arse.”

  “I tried to tell you that Libs. Davy the dick. Seriously, I’m glad you came to your senses.”

  Nodding I sip my coffee. I love this. Sitting having a cappuccino on a lazy Sunday with a friend that I haven’t seen for a few weeks. I think about how funny it is. The ease of slipping into something that I never had with Mel but had this whole time with Lewis. I snort.

  “Nice, very ladylike.” Looking up I catch his wink.

  “Fuck you knobber.”

  “Knobber? Shit Libs you sound like Con.” He chuckles.

  “Yeah, well, I am half British don’t forget. Plus, I’ve been spending time with the girls and they rub off on you.”

  “Mmm, I think I like the sound of that. Tell me how exactly the three of you rub each other?” He wiggles his eyebrow like a teenager.

  “Lewis! Eww, don’t say things like that, or the next time I see them I’m going to have inappropriate thoughts. Dickwad!”

  He laughs at my response as I lean over and hit him on his bicep. “Anyway Libs, I’m sure Dane has been rubbing off on you more, huh?” I roll my eyes in response. “Roll your eyes all you like, but I could see something switched in you when we were in England with them like you released the stick that had been up your butt for a while.”

  “I did not have a stick up my butt!” I semi-shout.

  “Maybe not, but you were all reserved and tied up about something back then.” He rubs his chin thoughtfully and narrows his eyes, they relax as he turns back to me continuing, “When we went to England it was like you chilled. You relaxed and changed like you were meant to be this Libs,” he says nodding toward me. “I mean, it was a bit weird how you were kind of detached from Dane when we were over there, but you were really cool with everyone else and fun…yeah, that’s it, you were fun.”

  “Thanks, this is just great! So by your count, until I went to England I was a stiff, haughty, moany, miserable woman with a stick up my ass,” I ask him tapping my fingers on the table.

  He nods. “Nailed it.”

  I groan. “Great.”

  “Hey, it’s okay, you’re not like that now Libs.” He smirks.

  “Yeah, that makes me feel loads better.”

  “Cool,” he answers completely ignoring my sarcasm.

  “So, Dane and you…going good?” he asks.

  “How do you know this stuff? You’re like a gossip queen. Are you sure you’re not gay?”

  “Con tells me mainly. And nah Libs, I’m not gay. I’m much too into hot, wet, tight—”

  “Okay, I get it!” I cut in holding my palm up to stop him.

  “Don’t complain about my mouth Libs, especially now you’re getting some cock. You should be relaxed all the time.” He nods at his own wisdom and I smirk knowing how to play him at his own game.

  “Yeah, you know Lew, you’re right. Dane is so much better than Davy was and bigger and stronger. Oh, and he’s so much more alpha. He likes to take the lead…he does this thing with his tongue—”

  “Fuck woman,” Lewis shouts, his hands covering his ears. I laugh, right from my belly, clutching my stomach I can’t stop laughing. Slowly he pulls his hands away and looks distraught.

  “Are you done?” he asks but I can only nod as I’m still chuckling to myself. “I think you scarred me Libs, seriously, you’re like my sister, I don’t need that shit in my brain.” He shakes his head with irritation, but it’s mingled with humour.

  “You shouldn’t start this game then,” I tell him crossing my arms.

  “Touché sweetness.” He smirks.

  “I’m just gonna use the restroom.” I get up and make my way to the back.

  I’m not surprised when I finish washing my hands only to be approached by another woman asking me about Lewis. This isn’t the first time it’s happened.

  “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I saw you sitting with that guy. I wouldn’t normally do this, but I’m pretty sure I heard the mention of you being his sister? I hope I’m not overstepping by asking if you could give him my number?”

  Yep, same routine, different day.

  “Hey, yeah, he’s my friend, we’re close, but we have a brother-sister relationship so feel free to chat to him. Err…just to give you some advice. You won’t get anywhere with him by giving me your number, you need to talk to him directly. Oh, and also, if you decide you’d like to speak to him then that’s cool, just don’t take too long as we’re catching up and it would be rude of you to monopolize this time.”

  “Oh, okay, good…I’ll go talk to him then.” I nod and smile at her, dry my hands and walk back to the table. I say nothing to Lewis as I figure I’ll give her a chance to catch him off guard. She’s pretty, blonde, petite, curves and I know it will never last. I wish I could do something to convince him to give a relationship a chance for once.

  “So seriously, things are good with Dane?” he asks, concern evident on his face.

  “Yeah,” I whisper and smile. “We’ve been back here a week now and we spend almost all our time together. I mean, obviously I have to work, and I guess he does at the same time.” I stop
for a moment and it occurs to me that I have no idea what work he’s been doing during the day. I must find out more about him, for someone who knows things about me that even I don’t, he’s very closed off about himself. “We’ve walked through the park, had dinner together every night and been to the theatre, and that’s all in a week. It’s very different to what I had with Davy. He even came to my self-defence class last week. I think he was impressed with my boxing,” I tell Lewis smiling.

  “Wow Libs, you have it all worked out, huh?”

  “Well, I don’t know about that, we have a lot of talking and stuff to do. He’s coming over to mine later, he said there some things he wants to show me about my past. I’m kind of scared and excited at the same time,” I confess.

  “Hey Libs, you know it will be okay, right?” He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Dane seems like a good guy. Plus, I think if anyone tried to bother you he’d go totally Wolverine and start cutting shit up.” He chuckles at his own words.

  “Still can’t get past Davy, huh?” I nudge his arm and he grins.

  “So Mel was a bitch too I hear…can’t say I’m shocked,” he states.

  “Really?” I ask surprised, he always seemed to get on with her the most out of the guys.

  “Have to say Libs…” he pauses for what I assume is dramatic effect then stands up like he’s addressing the whole coffee house and says, “I called it people. This guy!” And he starts pointing at himself while looking around the shop, some of the other customers stare for a moment before going back to their coffees.

  “You did not!” I screech wiggling my legs as he sits back down.

  “Yep, sorry sweetness, but I told the guys when I first met her that she was a Class A bitch.”

  “Well…you should have told me!” I complain.

  “Be serious Libs…would you have believed me? Really? I mean she’d been your friend for how long?” he tells me gulping his coffee. “Shit…cold.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right, still, it cut hard. Not losing her, surprisingly that pain is okay because I have Soph and Pea now and they’re real, it was more that I was taken in. I mean what kind of an idiot doesn’t see someone’s character?” I sigh.

  “Most people Libs.” His demeanour changes, he’s stiff and his jaw is working back and forth and his eyes are now narrowed. “We can all be fooled by people, it’s even worse when that someone should have your back first and foremost.” He’s staring out the window again but this time he’s not looking at women, his face has now changed, it’s slack and his eyes are glazed. Deep in thought.

  “Talk to me,” I gently coax him.

  He just shakes his head at me. “Nothing to say.”

  “Lewis—”

  “Just leave it, Libs, okay?” he snaps and I know from his tone that there will be no movement with this conversation. I nod and decide to ask him about work, but get interrupted by the women from the restrooms.

  “Hey, I hope you don’t mind me bothering you while you have your coffee?” she mumbles. I’ll give her props…she’s good, she has the innocent little thing down pat. This coy girl batting her eyelashes at Lewis is not the confident woman who approached me in the restrooms.

  I smile and shake my head to myself. It’s funny watching people. She fiddles with her fingers like she’s nervous, which makes Lewis more manly and confident. Not that he isn’t usually confident. He is. Completely. He’s cocky with it too, but not arrogant. There’s a fine line and thankfully he never seems to step over it. I can see why he’s confident. He’s tall and broad, he has hazel eyes and dark hair, but it’s his smile that knocks women off their feet. I’ve seen it, more than once. I watch him. He has a game. Definitely. He’s charismatic and magnetic and he looks at this woman like she’s all he sees. All women want that. I get that from Dane. I realise since I first met him in England he’s always looked at me like I’m all he sees. I sigh thinking about it. Lewis stops talking and looks over to me.

  “You okay, Libs?” I stare at him confused. “You sighed,” he tells me then looks back at the girl. “Sorry babe, I’m having coffee with Libs, another time?”

  Her shoulders drop.

  “No, no, that’s fine, Lew…I should be going anyway. You sit here,” I tell the girl.

  “Libby, this is Minnie.” He looks between us. “Minnie. Libby.” I nod, offering her a friendly smile and bite the inside of my mouth.

  I hate to judge. But really…Minnie?

  Lewis gets up and I grab my stuff. “I’ll be back in a minute Minnie,” he tells her and she beams at him while I try not to laugh at his words. Grabbing my hand he walks me out of the coffee house. We stop outside and he turns me to face him.

  “You really okay, Libs?” he questions.

  “Of course,” I reply and watch him frowning, doubt in his features. “Listen Lew, honest, I’m good. I want to get home anyway so I can sort out food before Dane comes over. You go, have fun. Next week we can return to this place if you like. I know we said we would make this a weekly thing, so do you want to come back here?” I ask trying to distract him from unnecessarily worrying about me.

  He looks back to the coffee shop and shakes his head. “No, I mean who knows how many women around here will hate me by then Libs. I think I’ll need somewhere new next week.” I groan as he chuckles. Pulling me in for a hug he rumbles in my ear, “Next week, sweetness.” Then he lets me go and spins around making his way back, to what looks like a poor unsuspecting girl. But what I think is really a woman who knows how to get exactly what she wants.

  I pace back and forth across my New York apartment. When things first turned down a different path for me all those years ago, I stayed here. A lot. Back then this was Jenson’s apartment. Now it’s mine. But with everything going on I’m not sure if being so obvious is the way I should be playing things. Jenson knows how to get in here and kill me if he needs to. Nowadays it’s unlikely in any scenario that he could best me. But being that this is his old home, he will know all the access points. He’ll know everything I know. Even though I’m aware of that, I still choose to stay. Everything in my gut tells me that Jenson is being framed. They want me to go in all guns blazing, kill him and then take the fall. Not gonna happen. They should know by now, I’m smarter than that. I will check into a few leads before I do anything. Right on cue my burner phone beeps signalling a text.

  Unknown ID: What you want is back in London. You’re being given false information.

  “Fuck,” I growl out. The lead I was relying on is a dead end. This means that I’m being kept out of the picture on purpose. It also means I need to get back to London. “Shit.” Wiping my hand down my face I realise I can’t stay and win over Nova. I want to, everything in me is pushing to give her everything—all the things I should have given her before. I know that this time I need to put her first. But I can’t. Now it’s about safety. If I don’t go back and sort this shit out, then I’m putting her in the firing line and I can’t lose her again. I can’t. I wouldn’t recover this time.

  I need to shower and focus on Nova. I have to be at her apartment in an hour and tonight is important. There are things I need to show her, things from our history, I need my head in the game, it’s just hard picking which game I need to put first.

  I arrive at Nova’s apartment feeling anxious. These feelings she brings out in me are uncomfortable because I’m not used to them. I always know what I’m doing as well as my next move. I plan five steps ahead and cover every contingency. I control everything. Always.

  Except her.

  I can’t know how she’s going to react or what she’s going to do, and because I want to guard her heart, I’m careful about how I proceed. Every single thing, no matter how little it is, I consider carefully before I take action. Except for sex. The moment she let me in, it was all or nothing. I can’t do half measures with sex. Those people who say bad sex is better than no sex. They’re delusional. Sex with Nova is something I’ll never experience with anyone else. It’s lik
e I’ve gone back to being a teenage virgin and feeling everything for the first time.

  Shit! Now I sound like a fucking woman.

  Tonight wouldn't be about sex, though, if it were then my job would be easy. I know how to please Nova and she sure as fuck pleases me. Tonight is about our past. We need to talk, and we need to be honest and open. Tonight could be make or break. I have this fucking thing with Jenson hanging over my head now, and knowing there’s a chance I won’t be around to pick up the pieces, almost stops me—almost. But I need to do this. The history between us has been hanging over our heads for too long.

  I wait until after dinner is eaten then pick up the box I brought with me, placing it on the coffee table in front of us.

  “Nova, I brought this here tonight. As you know, I said there were some things I wanted to show you, and what’s in this box is the start of that.”

  “What do you mean the start?” she asks trying to hide the hint of worry that laces her voice.

  “Well, in this box is memories of us. To be honest, I haven’t opened it myself for years, but I brought it out here to show you. There are more items at home, photos and stuff, but this is like a little time capsule for me. It’s something I’ve always treasured. I was hoping you would open it with me?”

  I sit stunned at what Dane has just told me. I’m both amazed and scared. I have nothing from back then. My brain doesn’t remember anything past waking up in the hospital, I don’t even know what I looked like as a teenager. Looking between the box and Dane’s face, I can see he’s nervous, the worry clear in his beautiful eyes. It’s an unusual emotion to see him express.

  “Nova—”

  “Yes! Of course,” I shoot the words out before I change my mind. His face relaxes momentarily, but then his jaw flexes and he takes a second to stare at the box. “It will be okay,” I soothe brushing his forearm with my hand. He glances at me and smiles, but it’s fake.