A Mother's Claim

by Janice Kay Johnson

  “I’m attracted to you,” he said, answering her blunt question with a blunt answer. “I had the impression it might be mutual.”

  Her gaze slid away but returned to meet his. “Going anywhere with that attraction would complicate things.”

  It would, but he asked anyway, “How?”

  “At least one of us will end up hurt. How can that help but taint our effort to be civil for Christian’s sake?”

  Disconcerted, he repeated, “At least one of us will end up hurt? There’s a positive way of looking at the future.”

  She set down the half sandwich she’d just picked up. “I haven’t thought positive in a very long time.”

  Frowning, he said, “I have the impression you spent a lot of years believing fiercely that you’d find Christian, alive and well. Isn’t that positive?”

  “I tried very hard to convince myself that he was alive.” She offered a small, crooked smile. “It’s not quite the same thing.”

  “No.” He tacked a different direction. “Your parents are still married.”

  “Yes. They have a good marriage. But do you know how rare that is?” She gave her head a quick shake. “Anyway, that’s marriage. More casual relationships? What tiny percent last more than a few weeks or months?”

  “You’re seriously negative.” And, yeah, that was a surprise. “I hope you express a more positive attitude for your clients.”

  “Of course I do!” she exclaimed. “I’m not—” A lot passed through those eyes before she said slowly, “Maybe I am negative.”

  Nolan laid it on the line. “Do you want to live alone? Forever?”

  “I...had hoped to live with Gabe—Christian.” But tiny lines furrowed her usually smooth forehead.

  “He’ll be twelve soon. Six years from now, he’ll be packing for college.”

  Dana’s body quivered. Then she searched his face. “That doesn’t bother you?”

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Of course it does. But I want him to go eagerly, not looking over his shoulder and worrying about me. When the day comes...?” He turned his gaze to the river. He knew he didn’t have to finish his sentence.

  “Have you ever been married?” Dana asked, sounding tentative.

  He shook his head, taking her interest as a good sign. “Career military do marry, but it’s a hard road for the spouse that stays behind. Can’t say I met anyone I could be serious about, anyway. And since I came home, I’ve had a lot on my plate.”

  Getting the business relocated and running would have been enough on its own, but he’d also had to deal with Marlee’s wild mood swings and disappearances and Christian’s grief after losing the grandparents who’d been his bedrock. Never mind the aftermath of the ax incident. The wonder was how the kid had remained as stable as he was.

  He could tell Dana’s thoughts paralleled his. She kept looking at him, her gaze clear.

  “All right.” She hesitated only momentarily. “Then let me ask you something.”

  “Okay.” He tried not to betray how wary he suddenly felt.

  “Are you interested in...in marriage? Having a family?” She tipped her chin up, speaking frankly despite her anxious blush. “Do you see that as a possibility for the two of us? Or is being ‘more than friendly’ just sex?”

  Knocked off balance, Nolan tried to figure out the right answer. If there was a right one.

  “I wasn’t asking for ‘just’ sex,” he said. He wished he could tell her he had begun every relationship open to greater possibilities, but that was a lie. For the most part, since graduating from college, sex had been his only goal. He had tried not to hurt women, most of whom, he hoped, had gotten exactly what they wanted, too. “You’re right. That would be a lousy idea, given our situation.”

  She nibbled on her lower lip, distracting him. He wanted to be the one doing that.

  “I can’t claim to be in love with you. I don’t know you well enough yet.” Inexplicable panic built up in his chest. Because...he knew her a whole lot better than would be usual from the time they’d spent together. “But to answer your question... Yes. I do want marriage and a family.” Until this moment, he hadn’t realized how much. It made him feel defenseless, not his favorite state of being. This had to be said, though. “And I do see that as a possibility for you and me. You...make me think things I never have before.”

  The truth of that shook him, until he reminded himself that marriage and family was the plan. For Christian’s sake. For all their sakes. He liked Dana. He liked how she interacted with Christian. He wanted to spare her pain, make her happy—natural, given the protective part of his personality. He thought he could live with her.

  And he wanted her. Damn, did he want her. Even thinking about her in his bed was enough to arouse him uncomfortably. Good thing they were on opposite sides of the table.

  She hadn’t so much as blinked in a long time. He was about to slap her on the back, make sure she was still breathing, when she murmured, “How can I believe you?”

  “I won’t lie to you.” Misdirect, maybe, he thought, feeling a pang of guilt. He’d omit. But flat-out lie? No.

  “How do you think Christian would feel about seeing us...together?”

  “I can’t be sure,” he admitted. Christian could love the idea or hate it. These days, he was hard to predict. “I think ultimately he’d go for it.”

  “He might feel threatened if he imagines your loyalties are...divided.”

  “He’s started to accept that you’ll be part of his life.”

  “But he still wants you in his corner.”

  Considering the kid’s occasional volatility, that was one way to put it. “We take it slow.”

  “Immunize him?” she asked so politely he had to grin.

  “Something like that.”

  Dana looked down at her mostly untouched lunch. “I have to think about this.”

  His body tensed. If he let her think too much, she’d circle around to being sure hooking up with him was a bad idea. He needed to sweep her away. Remind her she was a woman, and a lonely one. Offer her refuge in his arms.

  “This seems so—” she frowned a little “—cold. As if we’re laying out a plan.”

  Plan? Last word he could let cross her mind. And cold? That one he wouldn’t swallow.

  He sat forward so fast the table rocked. Flattening both hands on the surface, he leaned forward and let her see his teeth. “When I’m thinking about you, I’m not cold.” She shrank back, but he didn’t let himself worry about it. “You don’t seem all that cold to me, either. I’ve seen your temper. And don’t tell me you didn’t feel the heat when I kissed you.”

  She stared, eyes dark and turbulent. The air felt charged. His breathing sounded as if he’d just finished a hard sprint.

  “I...didn’t mean...”

  The obscenity he growled caused her to wince. Nolan forced himself to sit back. Damn it, what was wrong with him? Rubbing a hand over his face, he scrabbled for his usually rock-steady control. “I overreacted,” he admitted, wishing he knew why. The rasp in his voice told him he didn’t have it together yet.

  “I wasn’t meaning to insult you.”

  “I know you weren’t.” He rolled his shoulders. “You’re the one who asked my intentions. If my laying them out sounded cold-blooded to you, I can’t help that.”

  “I’ve never seen you as cold.” The hand he could see curled into a knot loosened, knotted again. “You have too much temper for that.”

  Her deliberate echo of what he’d said roused a whiff of amusement, bringing him down like nothing else could. Had she been teasing him?

  Yeah, he decided, seeing the way she’d firmed her mouth as if to combat a smile. That was a good sign, right? And her hand had opened and relaxed.

  “Why don’t you do your thin
king while we get to know each other better?” he suggested. “How about dinner tomorrow night? And maybe you could spend at least part of Saturday working here with us.”

  “I actually have plans Saturday.”

  Like she’d had plans when he and Christian showed up on her doorstep with burgers and fries? He’d let himself keep believing he and Christian were the only two people she knew in town, but she had to be getting to know her coworkers, at the very least.

  “What kind of plans?” he asked, hoping he sounded more casual than he felt. What if she’d gotten far enough with some guy to be dating?

  “A woman I work with is new in Lookout, too,” Dana said, seeming oblivious to his instant fury. “This is her first job out of grad school. She suggested we take the Hood River Railroad excursion. It sounded like fun.”

  As if a plug had been pulled, the testosterone-induced combativeness drained away. “I’ve never been on it, but it’s a popular tourist attraction. I hear it’s a good way to take in some scenery.”

  “Would Sunday be okay?” she asked uncertainly. “I mean, to spend time with you and Christian?”

  “Sure.” Disliking this roller coaster of emotions, he had to ask. “Is that a no about tomorrow night?”

  “Oh.” She smiled. “No. I mean, it was a yes. If you think Christian will be okay with it.”

  “Yeah. I’ll let him spend the night at Jason’s. Christian doesn’t have a gaming system at home. I didn’t want him to get addicted.”

  Dana laughed, a ripple of sound that stirred the tiny hairs on his body. “Present the irresistible...”

  “And he won’t so much as wonder what I’m doing.” An empty house. Matching her smile, Nolan regretted with every fiber of his being that it was way too soon to suggest she come home with him.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  TWO WEEKS LATER, Dana was happy enough to sail aloft in an iridescent bubble.

  She laughed, since at the moment she stood thigh-deep in cold river water. Her job was to help launch the biggest sailboat Wind & Waves offered for rent. All the sailboats and some of the kayaks were made by Hobie. Nolan had called this one a T2. Molded out of something that felt like plastic, it was a catamaran that Christian told her was sixteen feet long.

  She, Christian and the couple taking it out had skidded it into the water. Dana now helped steady it as the apparently experienced couple tinkered with lines.

  The man hoisted himself up onto one of the two parallel hulls and stepped carefully onto the frame between them so he could reach the mast. At whatever he was doing, the sail unfurled enough to make the boat buck. Dana held on, even as the current tugged at her enough to make her feel unstable.

  “Okay, Brie,” the guy said.

  Blond hair captured in a ponytail, his companion wore a skintight black-and-purple wet suit, the kind that stopped short of her knees. She swung a leg over the near hull, looking like a gymnast mounting a balance beam.

  The Hobie fought harder, trying to swing with the current, or maybe the wind. Dana didn’t know, only that her fingers were slipping.

  The man snapped a short, sharp expletive. The boat leaped forward and Dana lost her hold entirely. Christian was yelling something, but she couldn’t make it out. All she could see was the boat swinging hard toward her. She tried to step back, but between the depth of water and the current, she felt like she was trying to move in molasses.

  With a wham, the back of the near hull hit her. She barely pulled in a breath before going splat.

  * * *

  BUSY AS THE store was, Nolan was drawn out to the patio to watch the launch. Often the group could handle it themselves. He didn’t let anyone take a piece of equipment out unless he could verify they had the experience needed. The T2 was a safe boat, good for families, and the wide stance kept heeling to a minimum. Still, the thing weighed close to four hundred pounds, which made it unwieldy as hell until it was flying in front of the wind.

  Watching, he smiled. Dana had thrown herself into working at Wind & Waves. He bet most people she helped hadn’t a clue that she had never windsurfed or sailed, not the way she talked knowledgeably about harnesses, boards and foot straps, mimicking what she’d heard the regular staff telling customers. She didn’t seem to mind getting wet, either. Coming back inside, she’d shiver and laugh at the same time, towel herself off and be behind the cash register two minutes later.

  This time...he wished Christian had put himself in front and let her stay in the shallower water. Unlike the sailors, she wasn’t wearing a PFD. She’d done this before without displaying any nerves, but he didn’t like the way the catamaran was moving. He stiffened, shading his eyes with one hand.

  And then the damn thing yawed so suddenly she didn’t have time to get out of the way. It sent her flying, out deeper where the current was stronger.

  On a burst of fear, he started running. She’d surface any second, swim back to shore. Laugh to see him tearing to the rescue.

  The boat pulled away, both sailors staring back. Christian threw himself forward into the water, even though he wasn’t wearing a vest, either.

  * * *

  THE INSTANT THE water closed over Dana’s head, she panicked. The boat was going to hit her again. Run right over her. If she was trapped under it... Her flailing arms and legs proved useless against the power of the current. She opened her eyes, but in the murk she couldn’t tell up from down.

  A hand closed around her ankle. Her panic intensified. She kicked out, but the grip tightened. The pressure in her chest built, and she knew she’d have to exhale—and then she wouldn’t be able to help inhaling. Filling her lungs with water.

  But then the hand on her ankle was doing more than holding her—it was pulling her steadily backward. She was too terrified to do anything but struggle. Water trickled into her sinuses, stinging. In a violent rush, all the air in her lungs escaped. Suddenly she was breathing water, her body trying to convulse.

  And more hands closed around her leg, then her waist, and lifted her out of the river. She saw Nolan’s face, skin stretched tight over the bones. Christian, soaking wet, crawling onto the beach.

  Nolan laid her down on her side, and she choked on the water trying to come back up. Over and over, Dana coughed and retched, until finally she went limp. She was breathing air. Thank God, thank God.

  Nolan’s big hand moved soothingly on her back. “Tell me you’re all right,” he demanded. Then, in a different tone, “Call 911, Trevor.”

  “No.” She pushed the one word out and made herself roll over, not sure she could have if Nolan hadn’t helped. “I’m okay.” The voice was small and scratchy, barely above a whisper. “No ambulance.”

  “You’re sure?” He focused such intensity on her she couldn’t look away from his face.

  Dana coughed again and slumped back to the sand. “Yes.”

  He’d been crouched on his haunches but now fell to his knees. “All right. Damn. Trev, can you run and get us a couple of towels?”

  A male voice answered.

  “Christian?” Nolan said.

  “I’m fine, Uncle Nolan.”

  She turned her head. Christian was soaked, too, even his hair dripping. It must have been him who’d dived after her, grabbed her ankle. And Nolan, wet to his chest, had pulled them both out.

  “I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I panicked. I couldn’t think. It wasn’t even that deep.”

  “It was plenty deep.” Nolan’s voice was grim. “The drop-off there is sharp. You shouldn’t have been as far out as you were without wearing a vest.”

  “It’s my fault.” Christian rose to his feet, his cargo shorts and T-shirt plastered to his long, skinny body. I thought—”

  “That she could swim.” Nolan scowled at her. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Because
I can!” She pressed her lips together. “In a pool. And...I’m sort of intermediate.”

  “Sort of intermediate.”

  Dana pushed herself to a sitting position. “I had a bad experience. I didn’t like lessons.”

  Nolan’s chin dropped to his chest. He muttered under his breath. She was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear what he was saying.

  Face contorted, Christian said in a high, thin voice, “I almost got you killed.”

  “No!” Dana held out a hand to him. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine! I wanted—”

  Man and boy stared at her. “What did you want?” Nolan asked, gentle compared to his earlier adrenaline-driven anger.

  “I wanted to impress you.” Hot tears blurred her eyes when she looked at her son. “If I’d told you I’m not very good around water, you wouldn’t have let me help.” Despite her raw throat, words rushed out. “I know I was stupid.”

  “You wanted to impress me?” Christian’s voice cracked, the last word going bass deep.

  She pulled her knees up, nodded and rested her forehead on them.

  “Okay.” Nolan squeezed her nape. “No one is hurt. We just need to calm down.”

  A hysterical laugh bubbled in Dana’s throat. Yep, that’s all they needed to do.

  He thanked Trevor, the younger of the two men who’d been working today, and a moment later wrapped a thick towel around her shoulders. Dana hadn’t realized she was shivering until she felt the comfort of that rough terrycloth.

  “Hey.” Nolan had moved in front of her. Squatting, he speared her with those bright blue eyes. “You up to standing?”

  She nodded, took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. She didn’t want to look at Christian. “Ugh,” she said, plucking at her canvas shorts as she began the plod up the grassy slope to the building. “I need to go home.”

  “We can find you something to wear,” Nolan said.

  “I need a hot shower. Christian...?” She looked around, not finding him.

  “He went ahead while you had your face buried.”

  Would he ever speak to her again?