On Becoming His - Lessons Learned

by Dayne, Cassandre

  “You’re going to like this.” James snuffed. “Damn erotic.”

  Erotic wasn’t the term for what was happening on stage. Luke remained quiet as he watched, Mandy crowding his space. What the entertaining couple was doing was nothing more than a strip show, compete with body groping, and he was growing more and more disgusted.

  “Wait until you see what happens later,” James offered as he cupped the redhead’s breasts, lowering his head and biting down on her neck.

  Luke was already weary of the club and all the offers being given to him. He polished off his drink and was already trying to figure out a way to leave without appearing ungrateful. The gig in the joint just wasn’t him any longer. Then again, he’d never been one to prowl bars looking for women for anything.

  “How can I please you tonight?” Mandy turned to face him, placing both her hands on his thighs. The look on her face was one of a practiced submissive and the offer was very pointed.

  He knew without a doubt he could ask her to drop to her knees right here and she would without any hesitation.

  Giving him a heated look, Mandy slipped her hand down Luke’s chest to his groin, flicking her index finger back and forth across the growing bulge in his pants. “I’ll do anything you’d like. I know you must like a woman to suck your cock.”

  “Enjoy, my man. She’s clean. They’re all clean here. They test every one of the girls, and the boys if you’re into that kind of thing, on a regular basis. You don’t have to worry about anything. Take what you want. My treat,” James grinned as he slipped his hand into the bodice of the redhead’s dress, grunting in time to the music.

  Mandy tipped her head, a seductive smile crossing her face. She gripped Luke’s crotch, stroking up and down as she pursed her lips. “Anything you want.”

  His heart was beating rapidly and while the girl was beautiful and the offer tempting, Luke had no intentions of being with another woman. Whether or not he would introduce a third into his and Jessie’s life at some point remained to be seen, but he wasn’t going to betray the woman he loved in any method. Wrapping his hand around Mandy’s, he pried away her fingers as gently as possible. Lowering his head, he kissed her cheek and whispered, “You’re beautiful and the offer is more than enticing, but I have another. I hope you understand.” When he pulled way he could see she was pouting, unused to men turning her down.

  “Pity.”

  Luke turned toward James. “Unfortunately the call I had to make necessitates I have to leave. I so apologize but there’s a situation I must handle.”

  James narrowed his eyes, looking up and down Luke’s face before nodding. “I got ya. You’re a workaholic but I do understand. Final preparations tomorrow and we’re home free.”

  “Looking forward to it.” Luke said his goodbyes and left the club without looking back. As soon as he was outside, he could swear he heard Suzzana’s throaty laugh floating around him. Turning to walk back to his hotel, he did everything he could to push away the memories. Somehow as he walked up the crowded sidewalk, the sights and sounds of the vibrant city wafting past, he succumbed to heartache and tears began to fall.

  ****

  Jessie sighed as she finished her coffee, fingering the notebook as she thought about the powerful dream. She’d always dreamed in color and this time, the night’s visions had been filled with a heightened level of graphic sensuality, one she hadn’t anticipated. While she’d always had dreams about Luke, especially when he was gone, last night was so enigmatic she’d awakened with perspiration covering every inch of her over heated body.

  For a few seconds she remained motionless. Why she was having these…odd feelings was beyond her. Something was off. Something was not the way it should be. She slapped her hand on top of the counter. “Stop over analyzing.”

  Sighing, she pressed the tip of her finger across her mouth as she thought about how hard she’d climaxed, merely thinking about his sexy smile and they way he held her, kissed her. “Damn it!” Why did she blatantly disobey him? Snorting, she took another sip of coffee and knew why, or at least it was a convenient excuse. Tabitha. Yeah, blame it on your girlfriend. Certainly Luke would understand that, right? Ha! No, he’d be disappointed. The word alone sent shivers coursing through her body. Had the old Jessie returned because of one lunch out with a gal pal?

  Granted, Tabitha’s pushy mannerisms usually brought Jessie back into what she liked to call or hoped was her “old” personality -- balls to the walls. But did she actually allow the girl’s influence to cause her to go against Luke’s wishes? Ridiculous, and she was furious with herself. There was no doubt she was going to have to confess. She closed her eyes and wiggled in her seat thinking about him, her pussy wet and clenching. If she had to admit the honest truth to herself, she was simply missing him like crazy. The conversation she and Luke shared the night before was not only heated, but was flat out the hottest phone sex she’d ever had in her life. “Whew.” Hell, she’d turned out the lights, slipped under the covers and had almost been asleep when the damn sex toy called to her like a beacon of wanton lust.

  Fanning her face, she couldn’t remember another time so freaking hot in her life. Had he been testing her? Well, if he had been she’d failed miserably. She’d grabbed the rubber toy and swirled the tip around her clit in seconds and that was it. Thrusting in and out wasn’t nearly as good as the way Luke filled her, made love to her, but the rubber piece did okay in a pinch. Now what? Finishing her coffee, Jessie pushed the cup aside and was determined to put her thoughts about him and the dream – the amazing dream – onto paper. Maybe, just maybe he’d forgive her.

  I dream in color and your face fills my every night, my fantasies

  I couldn’t help but miss you last night -- your smile, your face and the way you touch me

  Your voice alone gives me shivers, reminding me how much I belong to you

  When I fell asleep hugging my pillow, I had tears in my eyes, my longing tearing me apart and yet the dream was so sweet

  Devotion – the one aspect of what we are so close to achieving you and I

  And last night I found my final passage…

  A moment shared

  A caress noted

  A hunger sated

  In my very soul – you, only you can give me what I need, what I have to have

  You are my heart, the man I love, and the man I will do everything for

  You are my Sir

  And so my dream reminded me how much I want to please you, satisfy you and honor you

  Every touch, every taste, every moment we share are utterly amazing, breathtaking.

  You honor me with acceptance and shower me with love

  You give me all of your heart and your soul

  Your kind hand disciplines me, guides me

  Nurtures the real woman hiding behind the mask

  I will stop at nothing to remind you every day of my love, my devotion

  I will continue down our path, our journey until I give you everything you require

  I will find new ways to show you, give you all of me

  I will love you unconditionally

  I will succumb

  I will be

  I will…

  Jessie patted the page. The words were her gift to him, her pledge. And so she’d failed already in her need to find the perfect way to show him complete devotion. Dropping her head, tears slipped from her eyes. Fear remained and she struggled with the reasons why. Everything about their life together, their journey, was being challenged and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why. What secrets are you hiding?

  ****

  The business concluded with complete satisfaction in Luke’s mind with the contract being ironclad and two new prospects that were going to be flying to see him within a couple of weeks. Everything was a solid go and he was ready to leave for home. Home. What an incredible word. He was missing being away much more than he ever used to. The very thought of having to leave the woman he loved was not s
omething he wanted to think about, at least not for awhile.

  He held the plane tickets in his hand, the gift of one glorious trip, and couldn’t wait to see Jessie’s face. She’d been almost begging him for some time away from everything, including nagging phone calls and emails, and he knew without a doubt they both needed this very much. He’d selected carefully, the destination not just a resort hotel in the gorgeous islands, but one catering to couples in the midst of sharing BDSM or simple D/s. There were very special reasons he’d selected the highly exclusive club, one he knew would provide a dazzling experience. One he knew would bring them to some ultimate truths.

  Inhaling deeply, he slipped the tickets into his briefcase and finished packing his things, folding even his dirty shirts and pants carefully. As a glimmer of sun shimmered through the window, he smiled, albeit his heart remained heavy. The morning had always been his favorite time of day. He walked toward the window, placing the flat of his hand on the glass. The subtle warmth still managed to give him a series of shivers. He couldn’t get Suzzana out of his mind and for the life of him he had been avoiding all the why’s.

  Luke glanced at his watch. He had at least two hours before he had to leave for the airport. Maybe there was enough time to… His heart suddenly racing, he dropped his head, panting. Everything happening in his life right now was cathartic. He was in Chicago, the very location he’d met Suzzana. He was being challenged by Jessie to be the Dom the both knew she needed, and his nightmares were getting worse. Two hours had to be enough.

  He grabbed his room key and jacket and headed out the door. The elevator ride seemed to take far too long in his mind. When the doors finally opened, he realized he was out of breath. The lobby seemed to be more crowded than ever and with each step toward the bank of doors, he seemed to be having more difficulty. When he was finally outside, breathing in the morning air, he took a minute to himself before walking toward the Concierge. He swallowed bile and his cold breath as he waited for his turn.

  “Yes, sir. What can I do for you?”

  “A cab?” Luke asked.

  The Concierge nodded. “Happy to hail one for you. And where is your destination, sir?”

  He wrinkled his nose, so any things racing in his mind. God, he was shivering.

  “Sir?”

  Luke continued to hesitate as a single glimmer of bright sun managed to make its way around the edge of the building and directly into his eyes. “Windsor Park Cemetery.”

  ****

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Jessie gazed at her watch and groaned. This was ridiculous. How in the hell could she have been so stupid? His plane was due to arrive in less than an hour and instead of cleaning the house in preparation, she’d been lounging all morning. And frustrating. Luke didn’t care so much about whether the house was clean or not but she did. Organization was her friend. Now she was searching for one thick piece of rubber, knowing the piece was no doubt going to get her into all kinds of bad girl trouble. Maybe she deserved whatever look of disappointment Luke gave her. Well of course she did! He’d been so specific about the way she was supposed to be when he arrived. Boy, oh boy.

  Groaning, she scanned the perimeter of her bedroom, trying to figure out where the hell she’d left the damn toy. One too many glasses of wine had certainly been her nemesis. Not only because she couldn’t remember certain now important details about the night, but also because she couldn’t seem to find the God damn vibrator. She’d done this not once, but two nights in a row. This so wasn’t good. Oh yeah, she could see his face if he found the damn sex toy. “Wait a minute.”

  For a few seconds she rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to continue searching. A few seconds later a chill rolled over her. Never in her life had she experienced something so powerful, so controlling. She was as submissive. Now she was frantic.

  Tossing the pillows off the bed, she brushed her hands up and down the sheet. No toy. Next she raced into the bathroom and even checked near the toilet. No toy. Laughing, she glanced at her reflection and shook her head as she pointed her finger. “You’re asking for trouble girl.” Where the hell had she been the last night? Going room by room she continued lifting and throwing pillows in her search. Thirty minutes later she stood in the kitchen and closed her eyes. She remembered talking to her friend and then a few emails, all with one glass of wine after the other. Then there had been his series of sexy texts and her hunger and another glass of wine and…

  Her eyes opening wide, she knew. Somehow her feet couldn’t fly fast enough as she moved into the living room, glaring at the oversized space like the damn area was going to tell her all its hidden secrets. Scoffing at her thoughts, she honed in on the empty wine glass on the coffee table. “Ah ha!” Kicking the ottoman she glared down at the floor. Only dust bunnies met her angry look. Giving the couch a hard shove, she pressed her hands down the soft material of her dress, wiping off a slick of sweat. Next she huffed and lowered down to her knees, peering underneath. The sunlight cascading into the room allowed her to see there was nothing but a slipper located in the shadowed space.

  Holding the fuzzy shoe in her hand, she couldn’t help but giggle. How in the world had this ended up under the couch? Tossing the slipper over her shoulder, she beat her hands on top of the cushions, her heart racing. Lowering her head, she exhaled slowly. “Dumb girl. Dumbass girl.” Yep. She certainly was. This was the last place she’d shoved the thick shaft into her wet cunt. Had to be.

  Jessie scrambled over the overturned, overstuffed sectional pieces and wondered, not for the first time, why the hell did she buy such overpriced furniture? Of course, she knew the answer, IKEA had it on sale and she couldn’t resist. Now she was desperately searching for a lost item amid the mountain of cushions. An item she had to find before Luke came home and accidentally sat down on it. Oh my God! That would be so funny. Hmm, maybe not.

  Her mind drifted back to those words. “Jessie, remember – you aren’t allowed to pleasure yourself while I’m gone. If you break that rule, I will know – because you’re going to tell me. Do you understand?”

  She’d smiled submissively. “Yes, I understand.” The look in his eyes made her moist. “Yes Sir,” she corrected. That was Monday. Last night, as well as the night before, had been an entirely different story. She was guilty as charged and part of her wasn’t feeling but so bad about it either. Okay. Good girl. Bad girl. Good girl… “Shit.”

  In a little over an hour, Luke would be walking through the front door. She had the best of intentions, but she missed him so damn much. It hadn’t been until the damn afternoon with her best friend, the one who gave her notions of the old girl that she’d really thought about disobeying. What in the world had she done with the damn toy?

  “I know you’re here. So where?” Think. Come on. Jessie slapped her hand over her mouth and walked toward the window. The sun was in her eyes but she knew she had to have a little while longer before he arrived. Time to calm down and at minimum put the wrecked living room back into shape. Then she’d creep into the room after Sir Luke was asleep and find the toy – one way or the other. She jerked a pillow from the floor and instead of placing the fluffy piece on top of the couch she beat the arm over and over again. “Damn you! Shit! Where are you?”

  Oh, that made her feel a lot better. Jessie groaned and wiped the beads of perspiration from her forehead. Temper tantrums certainly didn’t become her. Rubbing her eyes, she was about ready to give up her when she heard a noise. The sound of the front door opening startled her. No, it couldn’t be. No fucking way. Blinking furiously, she cursed a livid blue streak.

  “Honey, I’m home.” Walking into the room, Luke smiled brightly, his face beaming. “Were you cursing when I walked in?”

  Oh Fuck “Cursing? No. I was just squealing with glee,” Jessie said as she adjusted her dress and stole a glance at the wrecked room. Act nonchalant. “You’re home early. My goodness. I’m so glad. A good trip?” Was her voice squeaky?

  “I wanted to surprise y
ou.” As Luke’s eyes swept the room he sighed, then took a step toward her as he dropped his briefcase to the floor. “Everything okay?”

  “Fine! Just fine. Why do you ask?” Oh yeah, this was going to fly. She brushed a hand down her wrinkled dress before snagging her fingers in her hair and realized she must look as messy as the room, no as the entire house did. Why oh why did he have to actually come home early?

  “Jezebel.”

  “Sir? I’m fine. Seriously, why are you asking?” The nervous twitch in her eye was driving her insane.

  “Let me think about this. Why would I be asking such a thing? Because the house is a mess and that’s not like you.” Rubbing his jaw he raised his eyebrow.

  “I’m sorry. I was just trying to straighten up after vacuuming.” Seeing the rolling dust bunnies floating across the floor, she would give promises to Satan for the rest of her life if he didn’t notice the place was a mess.

  “Hmmm… Come here. Where is my proper greeting?”

  Dropping to her knees, she crawled toward him, eager to simply be in his arms and to please him. And hopefully to get his mind off whether or not she’d been a bad girl. “I’ve so missed you. Last night I was beside myself after we talked.”

  “Evidently.”

  Jessie could tell he was trying hard to figure out what the hell was going on. As she slid her hands up his inner thighs, she rested her head against his groin. The feel of his hard cock pushing into his linen pants gave her more than one shiver. This time she wasn’t entirely certain her reaction was all about desire. She pressed her face into his crotch, breathing in his husky scent. There was something so very satisfying about being close to him. “I missed you so much.”

  “And I missed you,” Luke said quietly as he raked his hand through her hair. “Very much. I have a few surprised in store.”

  “Surprises?” Glancing up at him she could see a mischievous glint in his eyes.