Epocalypse: Inception.

by G. Adler

  “Why can’t I see properly? What happened to my eyes?”

  “As I said, your brain needs to reset. Your visual cortex might be taking a bit of a break. Give it time. Your vision should normalize soon. Keep them closed as much as possible; that should help.”

  I nod slowly and take it all in. In a low and quivering voice I ask, “You said something about all of us…”

  “Tyrese, Joo-Eun, Ethan and Maya are all recovering as well. They seemed to sustain more synaptic collapse than you, so we are keeping them in induced comas for the time being. We separated each of you in private rooms to allow for better access and to ensure that each of you was closely monitored.”

  “Will they be okay? I mean… when they wake up will they still be… them?”

  She swallows hard and takes a deep breath before composing herself. “Focus on getting yourself better.”

  I nod as appreciatively as I can. I take a deep breath and let the memories flood through me. I swallow hard as one more loose thread weaves its way into my mind.

  “Dr. Kim, what about Abby? Is my sister…?”

  I let the question hang as my throat chokes with emotion. She looks down at me and smiles.

  “She’s fine. As luck would have it, she was at my home, having a sleepover with Joo-Young when the base was attacked. Thank God for small miracles.”

  I swallow hard and manage a weak smile as a single tear rolls down my cheek. Dr. Kim squeezes my hand sympathetically.

  “Well, this might cheer you up. The FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security all want some time with you before you speak to anyone else.”

  I roll my eyes and sigh.

  “How is that supposed to cheer me up?”

  Dr. Kim looks at me kindly and then looks around behind her. She then bends down and whispers in my ear.

  “Hayden, I know you have gotten a lot of flack from many people. The stunt that you orchestrated against Mr. Duts was brilliant albeit misguided. People are going to judge everything you do but make no mistake about it; you are a shot of life! Joo-Eun might have gotten herself into more trouble once she met you, but I have also never seen her more vibrant, more alive! Don’t ever change.”

  She then hugs me as tightly as my condition will allow. A huge smile spreads over my face and I feel my old strength starting to return.

  “Then send them in, all of them at the same time! I might as well get this over with because I’m only going to go through it once. When I am done, I want to see my friends!”

  I hear Dr. Kim make a few notes on a clipboard before she laughs and says, “Alright, if you are sure. But the moment that you get flustered or annoyed, just push the button beside your right hand and I’ll end the interrogations for the day.”

  I wink at her and say, “Not a chance, Doc. It isn’t me that’s going to need it.”

  She laughs again and whispers, “Good luck!”

  She then orders all of the medical staff in the room to leave. The moment that Dr. Kim exits the room, a clatter of identical footfalls enter. From the sound of it, there must be a dozen of them and at least three women, given the sound that their heels make on the tile floor. I sigh audibly and simply look up at the ceiling while I speak.

  “So, are the shoes standard issue, or did you guys just get a group rate?”

  An annoyed murmur spreads over the group as one voice says angrily, “That sort of attitude is not going to make this any easier, Mr. Matthews.”

  “Really Genius? Then let me guess? Pure cooperation is the only thing that is going to make this more fun? I watch the movies! I’ve seen the television shows and I play the video games. You guys don’t scare me! Give me a couple of days to recover and I’ll kick every agented ass from the Canadian border all the way down to Mexico!”

  A deep male voice suddenly interrupts and says, “Come on, guys. Go easy on the kid. You’ve all seen what he’s been through!”

  I snigger once and roll my eyes. “So should I call you ‘good cop’ or will ‘pussy’ work as well?”

  A series of guffaws and sniggers sound in the room. Good Cop clears his throat and tries again.

  “Actually, Mr. Matthews, we came here to congratulate you on a mission well done. Once DANE reentered hibernation mode, a full video record of what you and your friends went through was found. The President himself has seen it along with your parents and the Joint Chiefs. We came to give you our cards. You are a unique young man with a tremendous skill set. The FBI could use someone like…”

  An authoritative female voice interrupts and sounds royally pissed. “Hey! What is this horseshit? We agreed not to pitch the recruitment angle until he’s been given medical clearance! Homeland Security has every right to show him what our offices can offer…”

  Another voice decides to join the fray. “You are both out of your league. Go chase down a terrorist or something! Mr. Matthews, as a CIA operative, you will be engaged in all kinds of covert missions that can take you…”

  There is a sarcastic laugh followed by, “CIA? You mean the Collective Idiocy Agency? The kid could go back to high school if he wanted to deal with your crap!”

  “Better than the Federal Bullshit Initiative, you dumb spook!”

  The voices in the room start to bicker as their tempers begin to flare. The squeak of rubberized soles announces that people are planting themselves firmly and I can hear the harsh, labored breathing of a few people who are ready to snap.

  I immediately start to laugh, so hard in fact, that I have to grab at my stomach to try and stop the pain. Good Cop finally steps forward and says, “Something amusing you, Mr. Matthews?”

  “Yeah. I’m marveling at how fucking immature you all are! It’s amazing to me that I get in shit all the time for behaving EXACTLY like you people are right now!”

  “Pardon me?”

  “You heard me, Pussy. Now get out of here!”

  “What?”

  I push the button by my right hand and repeat what I just said. “OUT! NOW! ALL OF YOU! You people are pathetic! You must be pretty low on your recruitment quotas if you need to harass a semi-blind teenager! What’s the deal? Are you guys competing for membership with ISIS or something? I haven’t even seen my family or friends, and you guys want me to commit to a job? Fuck that! Now I believe you know where the door is located. I suggest you use it!”

  Good Cop has finally had enough. “I hate to break it to you, BOY but we have Presidential permission to…”

  “My ears are burning. Did somebody say my name?”

  I turn in the direction of the voice and smile. “Dr. Kim, right on schedule.”

  “I’m not alone, Hayden. I brought your father and the President of the United States with me.”

  The agents all stand at attention and salute. “Sir, I was just explaining to…”

  “I heard you loud and clear from the doorway, Agent. Your director and I will have an interesting discussion about the way you treat American heroes who just saved the world!”

  The agent’s face turns bright red and his fists clench. A wide smile breaks over my face and I innocently say, “Hey Pussy, what’s your name? That way I know who to fire once I make a decision.”

  The agent grinds his teeth and heads for the door. “My name is Agent McKelvy and just like you, my father is also a decorated officer. Show some respect, Matthews!”

  “McKelvy eh? I think I’ve heard about your dad? Isn’t he the one who was caught in Vegas with an entire chorus line? Your mother must have been so proud!”

  The rest of the agents in the room burst out loud laughing as McKelvy seethes.

  “Hey McKelvy, are you more upset over my comment or that your Dad gets more tits and ass than you ever will?”

  I hear the agent slamming something into the wall, along with the crushing sound of broken drywall. Stomping footfalls leave my room soon after and I sm
ile widely.

  The President looks over at my father and puts a hand on his shoulder. The two of them then burst out laughing until they are both in tears.

  “Hey Jack, it must be genetic!”

  I narrow my eyes and look at them quizzically. Suddenly the room starts to swim and my stomach lurches a bit. A few of the monitors ping away and Dr. Kim rushes over.

  “That will be enough for today. Either leave the room right now, or I will have Mr. Matthews transferred to the ICU where none of you will have access!”

  The various agencies grumble as they are forced to leave the room. A few of them tell me that they are leaving cards on the table for me to look at once I am feeling up to it.

  “Thanks guys. I can always use more toilet paper. Can each of you leave a dozen or so?”

  They all shake their heads as they exit.

  “Think about your future, Mr. Matthews, you could be one of the greats!”

  “See, that’s where you are wrong! I already am one of the greats!”

  Dr. Kim and the President chuckle as the last of the suits leaves the room. I clap my hands together as the door shuts tight and I smile as Dr. Kim checks me over.

  “They looked pissed, didn’t they?”

  “At least a twelve out of ten!”

  “Good, that means I haven’t lost my touch!”

  A warm hand touches my leg and I look down to see my father with his eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears.

  “Hayden, I just want you to know that…”

  With a wry grin, I wave him off and roll my eyes. “Save it, Old Man. An apology doesn’t really mitigate making a computer to take over the world! I thought only parents wanted total control of another human!”

  Dad takes a step back like I slapped him in the face. I then look up into his eyes and start to laugh, along with Dr. Kim and the President.

  Dad’s face drops and he looks down at the ground. “Ha, ha. Very funny. You have no idea the hell that I have gone through. I thought that one of the most important people in my life was gone forever.”

  I think about his statement and my face becomes deadly serious. “Actually, Dad, I know EXACTLY how you must have felt.” I then reach out with my arms and invite him in. Without hesitation he pushes Dr. Kim out of the way and wraps his arms around me. Huge sobs escape his chest as his arms tighten around me. Tears leak from my eyes as well as I bury my face in my father’s chest. Other sobs can be heard in the background.

  After a few moments Dr. Kim puts a hand on my shoulder and says, “We’ve all seen the footage of your ordeal. I promise you, Hayden, no more barcodes or computers for a while. You said you want to see your friends, right?”

  “More than anything! Are they awake?”

  “Just, and each of them has asked to see you. I didn’t have the heart to say no.”

  I then hear her press an intercom button and say; “We’ll meet you in M-5. I need a few minutes here to get my patient into a sitting position.”

  As gently as they can, Dr. Kim and my dad transfer me into a wheelchair and I go on a ride. My heart monitor beeps incessantly fast as we travel down the empty hospital corridors.

  Dr. Kim turns off the volume and smiles. “I know they are excited to see you too!”

  We round a few corners when I start to hear a few familiar voices. A wide grin spreads over my face and the tears start to flow again.

  “I need to work harder on my body once I get out of here!” Tyrese complains.

  “Yeah Tank I was thinking the same thing. You look all wrinkly and flabby and… oh wait a second… that’s only your flaccid penis!” Ethan replies.

  “Totally, Bartender. I feel like I have been run over by a freight train!”

  “How can you make that comparison, Tyrese? I don’t seem to recall you ever being in that kind of accident. Never mind the fact that I am fairly certain that a human being would not survive the force of impact that a speeding locomotive would deliver.” Joo-Eun notes.

  “Yay! Guts is back! Now if somebody could please go get my clothes so I can get out of these prison robes. Are any of your parents heading by the mall on the way home? Hollister is having a sale! Sadly my mom never falls for that anymore.” Maya whines.

  We turn the final corner and they all cry, “HAYDEN!”

  They wheel over to where I am as fast as they can, with Tyrese in the lead. He puts so much force into the roll that he sends both of our chairs spilling to the floor with him falling on top of me. Ethan, Maya and Joo-Eun soon follow.

  The weight is crushing against my chest but I laugh and cry in equal measure nonetheless. I withstand it for as long as I can. Finally I have no choice.

  “Fuck! You guys weigh a ton! Good thing you are on hospital food. You could each stand to lose a few!”

  “Screw you, Ghost! I am perfect just the way I am. Petite is totally in right now!”

  “And my body mass index is within the healthy range, not to mention that my cholesterol levels are outstanding!”

  “I know, Ghost. I’m gonna hit the gym the second Joo-Eun’s mom says I can leave. My Dad keeps coming into my room and making fun of me, telling me I’m going to get slow.”

  Ethan turns to Tyrese and rubs the short nubs on his head. “Don’t worry buddy. You can get fat with me on the couch. Thin is not everything it is chalked up to be!”

  We all laugh and climb back into our chairs. Each of them takes a hand of the person beside us and refuses to let go. In the end, Tyrese and I complete the circle. Sounds of happy tears come from the doorway as our parents gather around to watch.

  The five of us let go and fold our arms across our chests while rolling our eyes. I stare at the parents and say, “Thanks a lot! Way to ruin the moment!”

  They all laugh and rush into the room, hugging and kissing each of us regardless of which family we technically belong to.

  Moments later, the President of the United States comes in on his crutches. Unlike his press conferences, he looks like he is in bad shape. He walks right over to my father and puts his hands on his shoulders. My father immediately stands up and salutes, “Thank you for coming, Sir!”

  The President salutes back and then says, “I appreciate your etiquette in front of other people, General. But this is not an official visit!”

  The President then grabs my father and hugs him tightly. Both of them begin to tear up and weep slightly as they do.

  “Ghost, your Dad is tight with the President! This could come in handy!” Ethan whispers.

  “Are you out of your mind? I am so screwed now it’s not even funny! He can do what he wants to me now and justify it by ‘Presidential Order’!”

  “That’s true! I didn’t think of it that way! You ARE fucked! It’s been nice knowing you, Ghost.”

  When Dad and the President are done, The President looks at the five of us, clears his throat, and says, “You five have no idea the debt that your country owes you. We were brought to the brink of Armageddon, but you pulled us back. The country and the rest of the world may not be able to know what you have done here, but we all know. If there is anything we can do to repay you, just name it!”

  I immediately drop to my knees and assume the most penitent position I can. With my best puppy dog eyes, I look to the ceiling and pray. “Dear God, thank you for this moment. I promise to seize the opportunity and exploit it for the betterment of the gang and myself!”

  The room is stunned into silence.

  Weakly, I try to get to my feet. My legs quiver and I barely make it halfway before I slump back down into my wheelchair. I put my hand out and make everyone in the room watch as I struggle. With heaving, panting breaths, I begin.

  “I’m so sorry Mr. President. I would love to be able to get to my feet and give you the respect you surely deserve. My legs are still weak from the terrible ordeal that my friends and I
had to endure. Please believe me when I say that although my stature might seem small at the moment, my respect and admiration is huge!”

  The President’s eyes go wide. “Jack, is he serious?”

  “You opened the door for this, Boss. Just wait. The kid is just getting warmed up.”

  With a wicked smile on my face, I continue. “We five are mere teenagers. We are going to be scarred for life from what we had to experience. But, be that as it may, we are proud to have given what little we could to secure the American… NO... the HUMAN way of life. Sadly, the trauma could come out at any moment and in any place. Is it really fair to force us to rejoin a society in the same way in which we left it? We are forever changed! The innocence has gone out of our eyes and the harsh reality of the world is already pressing on our shoulders!”

  The President taps my dad on the shoulder. “He knows he is only seventeen, right?”

  “He knows.”

  I clear my throat and continue. “Would it not be in the best interest of safety and security to keep the five of us together? That way, we can continue to lick our wounds as a team while you ensure that our veil of secrecy is strictly imposed!”

  “An interesting idea. How do the five of you feel about solitary confinement for the next few years?” Dad suggests.

  I look at the gang and see their faces becoming tense. I swallow hard but keep going.

  “While you consider that, I know you know that representatives from your finest agencies have already approached me. They sought me out, recognizing my uber skills. Here is where I have to be honest. I am no island unto myself. I am merely a man, trying to make his way through the hard and rough seas of my future. I would love to take full credit for the operation you saw on the video but my conscience will not allow it. It vexes me day and night to think that only I might receive the pomp and circumstance that this situation requires. In actuality, it was a team effort.”

  The adults all stare at me with their eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

  “You see, ladies and gentlemen, the five of us may be amazing as individuals, but we are five times as much as a team. We have taken our example from you, our parents and leaders. Like the various levels of government, the five of us work seamlessly together to protect truth, justice and the American way! You asked what you could do for us, Mr. President? Allow us to keep helping you! Let us give back to the world that has given us so much. The five of us are on a voyage. I am at the helm of this mighty vessel, with my trusted mates at my sides. Our compass is pointing true and we have the wind at our backs. Let us pilot our determination to your shores as we keep protecting and preserving the freedom we have come to appreciate and the country we have grown to love!”