Playing House

by Willsin Rowe

  Contents

  Copyright

  Acknowledgments

  Playing House

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  About the Author

  Other Books

  Copyright

  Playing House

  © Willsin Rowe, 2016

  EBOOK EDITION

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Acknowledgments

  This book has been a labor of love for me over the course of at least four months. But that four months was only the hair and makeup stage. I’d had this story in existence for a couple of years as a novella. Those four months marked the process of fleshing it out, developing the characters, situations and storyline to the far more satisfactory novel-length story you now hold in your hand (either in paper form or electronic). And while that labor was specifically mine to undertake, it was not a solo effort by any means.

  To my family, as always, who’ve come to know the back of my head intimately. I thank you.

  To my Facebook friends, especially those in my shared group, Lewis & Rowe’s Sexy Ho’s. You lovelies are a delight to interact with, and a solid sounding board.

  To my closest confidantes on the Book of Face, Katie Salidas and Chandra Crawford… you’re always there, always on my side, and you tell me when I’m being a tool. This is invaluable feedback to your average male!

  To the magical Milly Taiden… making covers for you has been a revelation. Not just because you push my skills into new territory, but because I’m exposed to genuine success through you. That on its own is an inspiration. On top of all that, though, you’re supportive, forthcoming and giving… and a spicy, curvy fox!

  And I’m sure there must be someone else… hmm… who could it be?

  Oh, yes. The delectable Sassie Lewis, who is pretty much all of the above and more. A sounding board, an editor, an advisor, a listening ear, a complete dickhead, a team player, a silly sausage, naughty as hell and witty as sin. You’re more than just my sister from a different mister… you’re my bestest buddy as well.

  Playing House

  By Willsin Rowe

  1

  It had been a bastard of a day, with stock not showing up and yet another awkward run-in with the mailman. Poor Patrick seemed a nice enough guy, but I felt awful for not liking him much. His social skills were terrible, and I thought maybe he was a high-functioning savant or something. Or just socially under-developed. In any case, he’d fawned over me in his usual sweaty way until I’d managed to extract myself.

  Of course, the lack of stock didn’t really have a huge effect on the day, since I’d been pretty short on customers once again. That’s usually the way with a used bookstore.

  Growing up, everyone says do what you love, which in my case is books, books, and books. Nobody tells you what to do when that thing you love costs far more than you can afford.

  At least I’d always have my second love. Tea. I’d just put my cup into its saucer and filled the kettle to one and a half cups when my housemate Toni scampered into the kitchen with the most ridiculous grin lighting up her gorgeous round face. She held her hands behind her back like they were tied together.

  I crossed my arms and tried to frown at her, but we knew each other too well. “Nothing good ever comes from that look. What are you cooking up?”

  She pulled me into a hug so tight I thought I might suffocate in the depths of her bountiful cleavage. Being short is a pain in the neck—often literally—but it was especially troublesome when my best friend was so damn tall and busty. I managed to squeeze out a little cough and she released me, waving her left hand under my nose.

  “Oh, Lucy! Robert asked me to marry him!”

  “Wow! Congratulations.” I grabbed her hand to get a better look at her brand new bling. “Holy crap, that’s enormous! I think I’m getting a sunburn.”

  “Idiot.”

  “What? You’re lucky you have that Italian skin. Seriously, though, that is one big diamond.”

  “I know. It’s crazy. He’s been saving six months for this.”

  “Huh. He’s good with secrets, then.”

  Toni glanced up from the rock on her hand, her smile fading just a little. “Woah, Luce. I know you have the red hair and green eyes, but can’t you use those powers for good instead of evil?”

  “Wh-what?”

  “My Robert is nothing like Cameron.”

  I nibbled at the inside of my cheek, hating the way my words came out sometimes. Cameron—my ex—had turned out to be a man of many secrets. Or one secret, really. Just many, many times. And places. With skinny, buxom co-conspirators. “Oh, T, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just meant Robert sounds like a man you can trust with… well, anything.”

  Hoping I’d half-assed it well enough to smooth the situation, I turned her hand to different angles and made all the right sounds about how the diamond glittered, and how perfectly it matched her olive skin tone.

  It had to be envy that had turned my tongue to acid, however briefly. I felt nothing but happiness for Toni, but by the same token it stung me that I’d failed so completely at my own relationships. All the way back to high school, I’d had a precise plan in mind for my life. First I’d land the dream job, then get engaged. I’d marry the hell out of that guy, and then complete the picture with two kids. Boy first, and then a girl, so she’d have a big brother to look out for her. The way boys are supposed to.

  The dream job had worked out perfectly, despite the fact my little baby bookstore was bleeding cash. With Cameron by my side it seemed I’d put the rest of the plan in motion too. The one bright light I took from that break-up was that if he hadn’t grown so careless and arrogant about his sleeping around, I might even have married him by now. Eventually I would have discovered his wandering willy, and from what I’ve seen divorce is far harder to take than a break-up.

  Slowly but surely, I’d been pushed further and further into the corner as all my friends made far better choices than I had. Michelle was married, Luisa was both married and pregnant, Allanah was very happily living in sin with Ian, her boyfriend since high-school. And now here was Toni, with six pounds of carbon on her finger. All hitched up and no place to… oh, no.

  I dropped her hand and grabbed her shoulders. “Wait a minute! Does this mean you’ll be moving out?”

  She fiddled with t
he ring and smiled at the floor. “I was coming to that, Luce.”

  Panic rose in my chest. Calm down. Keep it together. “You know I can’t afford this mortgage on what I make, right? I mean, I can’t even afford to fix the en-suite shower yet!”

  “I know babe, I know. The way you moan about lack of sales I thought you might actually be an indie author.” She punched my shoulder lightly, but it didn’t ease my panic. “But seriously, Robert practically begged me to move in, and I’d be stupid not to. I mean look at this thing!” She waved it close to my face, as if there was any way I could miss it. Hell, the thing had its own zip code.

  “Don’t get me wrong, T. You should definitely move in with him.” I tossed out one last hope. “I don’t suppose he’d be willing to move in here with us?”

  Toni quirked her mouth to the side. “Sorry, babe. I love your house, and this suburb. They both suit your personality perfectly. But Robert’s an inner-city guy.” She kinked her hips out to the side. “Besides, you’d have to put up with all the wild sex noises.”

  “Uh, he’s stayed here quite a few times, T. I’ve heard it all before.”

  “Voyeur!”

  “Exhibitionist!” Despite my worry, Toni always managed to get a smile back on my face. “Of course you have to move in with that smelly boy of yours. But it’s just so sudden from my perspective. With the money I’ve saved I can probably make it a month, maybe two, but I really need someone to move in and pay a little rent.”

  “Or, y’know…you could eat your own cooking and just end it all. The neighbors will find your body within a week.”

  “I’d slap you down if you weren’t so right.”

  It was another of my little quirks. People looked at my chubby frame and figured I knew all there was to know about food preparation. Some days I was lucky if I managed to get all the cold stuff into the fridge instead of the washing machine.

  “But seriously, Luce, I’ve been working on it all day, trying to think of someone who could move in.” She traipsed through to the lounge room and I followed along with her. The trouble is, everyone else we know is already… um…”

  “Married, married, or married? Believe me, Toni, I know. I swear, if I wasn’t allergic I’d have four cats already. But you know why as well as anyone.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Toni had been a lifesaver in so many ways. She’d warned me from the start about Cameron, but when the shit hit the fan she was the first one there for me, without a told-you-so in sight. If she hadn’t moved straight in, I probably would have already lost my house. I think she took more pleasure from throwing Cameron’s stuff on the lawn than I did. And she showed her worth again when she hid the matches before I could start a bonfire.

  That stupid, selfish boy with the mammoth sex drive and the conscience of a bonobo. He’d totally derailed my life goals. It wasn’t only because of the two years I wasted, pouring all of myself into the relationship. It had also been twelve months since I booted him out and I was still gun-shy.

  With a heavy sigh I flopped onto the sofa. “I really thought I’d have my life in order by now. Yet here I am, closing in on thirty, and I’m still dependent on the good nature and extra cash of strangers.”

  “Bit dramatic isn’t it, Luce?”

  “Maybe. But it’s the rigmarole of advertising, and then weeding out the no-hopers and the up-skirters.” I curled into a ball on my back and made little kicking motions with my lower legs. “I just don’t want to!” I could hear the childish whine in my own voice.

  “Hmm. Well, I always say a good tantrum fixes everything.”

  “If only.”

  “Luce? I do know someone.”

  I rolled onto my side. “Go on.”

  “Someone from work. Someone who’s looking for a place really soon.”

  “Someone, huh? Does this someone have a gender?”

  “Well…”

  Rolling up into a sitting position, I leaned closer to her. “It’s a smelly boy-someone, isn’t it?”

  She adjusted her watch for a second. “I know, I know. Cameron was a tool, and you really don’t want to live with a guy, and his noise, and habits and all that. But honestly, Luce, Mark is a really cool guy.”

  “Urgh, they’re the worst. I’d rather an up-skirter. At least you expect to catch them fiddling in your underwear drawer.”

  Toni’s laughter filled the room. “Ah, I’ll miss your quirks when I move out, babe. Truly, Mark’s not like that. I’ve always found him intelligent, respectful, and reliable.”

  “You’ve lived with him, then?”

  “You know I haven’t. But I’ve worked with him for ages now.”

  “Not the same thing.” I crossed my arms and legs. Then pouted for emphasis.

  She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Lucy Featherstone! Would you cut me some slack? I’m giving you a solution on a platter here.”

  “And he’ll no doubt put his peen on a platter for me. Probably literally.”

  “Hush. Honestly, I know you’ll get along with him, and he’ll absolutely lo– uh, like you. Besides, what other options do you have?”

  I definitely didn’t miss that little slip. It sounded almost exactly like she was setting me up for a blind date. I bit my lip to stop myself talking, knowing there was an enormous chance my voice would turn to vinegar again, and walked out to the kitchen. “Let me think about it, all right? Tea?”

  “Mmm. Yes, please.”

  She followed me back to the kitchen as if she thought I’d burn it down or something.

  “It’s okay, Toni. I know what I’m doing when it comes to tea.”

  “I’m just playing it safe.”

  “Harlot.”

  I took the kettle back to the faucet and filled it to exactly three cups of water. A quick wipe down to remove drips from the outside and then I returned it to its caddy and clicked it on. Opening the cup cabinet, I drew a second one out and placed it three inches away from mine, on a matching saucer which sat on a cork coaster. Just like mine.

  “Look out, Luce. Cup on the right is three millimeters out of alignment.”

  Before I thought about it, I actually did a double take to check if Toni was right.

  “Ha. You’re a classic, Luce.”

  “And you’re a child, Toni. I can’t believe you’re engaged.”

  “Ooh. Bitch.” I didn’t need to look to know she was smiling.

  While we waited for the kettle to boil, I sighed and turned to my traitorous housemate.“All right, then. Tell me about him.”

  “Why, who do you mean, babe?” There was just the tiniest hint of a smirk on her face.

  “This boy of yours. Matt? Mike?”

  “Mark. Mark Hobson. Well, he’s an IT specialist, he plays a bit of hockey and basketball, he drives a ’66 Mustang, and he drinks imported beer.”

  “A Mustang? Isn’t that one of those cars for guys with little todgers?”

  “It’s a beautiful piece of engineering, Luce.”

  “The car or the todger?”

  “The car! Or so I’m told, anyway. I have no clue.” She caught the curl of my mouth and pointed straight at me before I could speak. “And I definitely don’t know about the todger, girlie! But his car actually looks pretty understated. It’s only when you hear the engine that you get all weak at the knees.”

  “My knees are quite safe, I’m sure. Now if he drove a mobile library…”

  “God, you and your silly books.”

  “Oh, you and your silly… um… regular sex life!”

  She cackled as she took a seat at the table. “Ooh, burn.”

  “Anyway, bitchy-pants, I’m quite happy with my little hatchback, thank you. Cars are merely a means to an end, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Did I mention he’s an excellent cook?”

  �
�As good as you?”

  “Streets ahead of me.”

  Now that was a big bonus. Toni had been my savior in college. Without her kitchen skills I’d have died of starvation—or poisoning—and when she moved in here we fell back into those old patterns. I was lucky to make a bowl of ice cream without burning it. “All right, so he cooks. What else?”

  “He’s straight-down-the-line honest, he’s clean, and he’s reasonably tidy. Although he’s nowhere near as OCD as some people I know.”

  I blew her a loud raspberry.

  “And you call me a child, Luce. Oh, and there is one other thing.” The way her mouth curled up at the side told me this one other thing was a biggie.

  “What? Toni!” I tried to sound threatening, but her smile was so infectious I felt my mouth kinking up in harmony.

  “Well, I’m afraid he’s drop-dead gorgeous.”

  I actually groaned at that one. “There is no way I’m letting him move in then.”

  “No, of course not. What torture.”

  “I mean it. If he’s that handsome then either he’ll bring home a new girl every night, or he’ll assume I’m going to fawn all over him. And if he’s a typical man, probably hoping for both at the same time.”

  “He’s not like that, Luce. Trust me. He’s actually a nice guy. I mean, for a smelly boy and all.”

  She clearly thought she was selling me on this Mark guy, but in truth she was just hitting all my raw nerves with those buzz words. Nice. Cool. Gorgeous. It got worse and worse. Without a renter, I’d simply lose my house, but so far the only option I had was to let some random hot guy move in? I was still smarting from the last hot guy I’d lived with.

  As if reading my mind, Toni smiled and rested her hand on my shoulder. “Luce, it’ll be cool. I knew Cameron, remember? Didn’t I warn you he was a player? But I know Mark even better. He won’t mess up, he won’t get grabby, and he won’t cross your boundaries. Oh, plus he has a girlfriend. Of sorts.”

  “What does that mean? Of sorts?”