Playing House

by Willsin Rowe

  “You are definitely a bad girl.”

  The moment he finished speaking he pulled my head back and engulfed my mouth with his. We were an utter mess, lips and tongues flailing as he drove his cock into me with abandon until he was an erotic blur of strength and heat. I was so wet that he simply glided in and out, running over my sweet spot again and again like he was under my control I squeezed at him on every mighty thrust, gripping him as if his ferocity was destined to drive me off the end of my bed and through the wall. In seconds I was there, right on the cusp of climax. I dragged my nails across his back, digging in deep as I pulled at him, forcing a sharp hiss from inside him as he squeezed my tongue between his teeth. He was practically melded with me but it wasn’t enough. I needed to get his body closer to mine.

  Mark curled his back like an archer’s bow, pulling his mouth from mine as he drove heavily into me.

  “Oh, Luce. I’m gone...”

  He punched out an ever-increasing rhythm, the powerful weight of his cock pounding so sweetly inside me that I hoped never to lose it. Strangling out a deep moan of desire as his climax hit him, he was a magnificent beast above me, a glistening creature who was part angel, part lion and all mine.

  My own orgasm bunched up inside me, filling my belly like a fist of sensation that suddenly opened up, shooting fingers of pleasure throughout my entire body. Wave after wave pulsed until finally my heart came back into me like a planted seed, and my skin settled back on me like a blanket.

  Mark let out a long, keening moan of final release. He was more beautiful at that moment than any man in the world, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him until we both fell asleep.

  The corded tightness all over his body fell away as if he’d sprung a leak. As he drifted down toward me he caught my gaze with his and his expression was an adorable blend of confusion and satisfaction. “I knew it, Luce. Knew you’d be…” He knitted his eyebrows as he seemed lost for the right word.

  It was actually a little scary to think of the many ways he might finish that thought, so I pulled him down into a long, searching kiss which he returned with tenderness. His hips shuddered with the aftershocks of release as he slipped neatly out from me, and already it felt almost as if I’d lost a limb.

  He rolled down and eased his arm under my head, cradling my body to his. “That was… amazing, Luce. I kind of lost myself there. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be, please.” I snuggled against his bare-skinned heat and kissed his chest. “It was incredible for me, too.” Already I could feel my body cooling inside. The gravity of this moment was out there, just beyond my conscious thoughts, and the best thing I could think to do was to carry on ducking away from it. As long as Mark’s spicy scent kept filling my nose, and his animal heat toasted my body, I could keep putting aside that annoying little voice. The one nagging at me in a sing-song voice, reminding me of that one important little detail; Mark was my housemate, and therefore, according to my own rules, completely off-limits.

  “Luce? You okay?”

  I rolled my head in a circle, not committing myself to a nod or a shake. As a man, it was surely his duty to be almost asleep by this point, so hopefully my half-assed gesture would be enough to tide him over until I could actually face him properly.

  “Luce, that’s not really an answer. Are you worried about the situation?”

  “Shh. Can’t we just… I don’t know. Sleep on it, maybe?” Already my mind felt as thick as my voice sounded.

  “It’s not even noon.”

  “You tired me out. And I think…”

  “You think what?” When I didn’t answer he ran his hands back through my hair, as gently as if he were trying to seduce me all over again. “Come on, Luce, you think what? Too much? Therefore you are?”

  How could I explain myself? To justify what we’d done I had to turn my back on all the rules I’d set myself so long ago. But to enforce those rules would jeopardize anything Mark and I might have ahead of us. Abandon order in favor of chaos? I’d rather drink coffee.

  There was no doubt in my mind the incident with Patrick had been a huge catalyst. Not only because it had knocked me off balance, but because it created such a contrast between him and the man in my bed. Though every man I’d ever been with before seemed in complete contrast to Mark.

  Clearly I’d fooled myself that my creepy mailman wasn’t capable of true evil or violence. I could still feel that strong grip around my throat, and see the steely look in his angry eyes. But then the way the sunlight played me for a fool, shining on Mark and giving him those heavenly, knight-in-shining-armor touches. The first time I was still in full on panic mode. Second time I was already spaced out from stress and sleep. Both times I might as well have been drunk.

  “Luce? You still awake?”

  The deep, beautiful rumble of Mark’s voice filled my head, muffled by the way my ear was pressed to his heart. It made him sound almost fatherly, which sent long, languid roots of comfort and pleasure through my body.

  “Uh-huh.” I took a long breath before continuing. “I think maybe I wasn’t thinking. Not properly, anyway. My head was all turned about by Patrick, and then you rescuing me from a bad place. I think maybe I was just so relieved, and overwhelmed and… and so I thanked you.”

  He rolled up onto his side and looked down at me. “You thanked me? Is that what this was?”

  There was a note of crispness in his voice. The last time I’d heard that had been this morning, when Gabrielle rang him. “But that’s a good thing, isn’t it, Mark?”

  “Yeah, good manners is one thing.” He cupped his hand to the side of my face, sending me into a spiral of confusion. He’s pissed with me one second, and touching me tenderly the next. Or was he not actually angry? “But if you want to thank me, you just have to say the words. If we’re making love, then that’s its own thing.”

  I wrinkled my nose as I frowned, and pulled his hand off me as I sat up. “Well, okay, but isn’t that my decision? You know, it being my body and all?”

  He sat up with me. “Yes. And this is my body. It works both ways. If your only motivation to invite me into your bed was as a payment for services rendered then… well, let’s just say I’ll be both surprised and disappointed.”

  “I don’t understand. Are you saying you didn’t want to do that?”

  “Not at all. I’ve wanted you for longer than I’d care to admit, Luce. But you’re not a prize for me to win, and you’re not a payment. What you are is a wonderful, intelligent, sexy woman with the most adorably irritating manner about you. I could kiss you for hours and only ever stop so I could sink my teeth in.”

  Again I was left studying his face, trying to understand what he was talking about. And whether he was somehow teasing me or worse, being a jerk. “I still don’t really understand the problem, Mark. I guess I’m just tired. It was a stressful morning.”

  He pursed those beautiful lips of his and seemed on the verge of a decision. Finally he sighed. “Do you really not understand, Luce? Or are you hoping I’ll do the guy thing and automatically apologize?”

  “Why would you even say that?” His words hurt mainly because with either of those options, I’d still feel stupid.

  “Because it’s like you’re finding a way to shut me out. To make this situation right in your mind by forcing some kind of order onto it.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing at all.” Of course it was, but the only thing worse than a guy who was right was a guy who was right and knew it.

  “Well, whatever it is you’re doing, it cuts just the same. Here I thought we were making love, finally letting our mutual attraction have its head. Now you tell me you were simply making a sacrifice for me. Letting me have my way with you.”

  “No, no, no. You’re making a mess of my words.”

  “I guess I’ve learned how to play girl games then, huh?” He snorted out a dry laugh
and rolled off the bed, heading for the door.

  “Wait, Mark.”

  He turned back. “I’m not angry, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I hope you don’t regret this, Luce. That was the most intense, most amazing sex of my life.”

  My body, still suckling on the afterglow of orgasm, most certainly didn’t regret it. If anything, she was screaming at my mind for sabotaging the situation.

  “No, no. I don’t.” I felt like a machine gun, the way the words shot out of me so rapidly. I stood up and slipped a pair of unripped panties on. “It’s just, I think we probably should have talked about it first.”

  He stopped as he reached the door. “You’re lovely, Luce. But not everything needs an agenda.” As he turned to leave, he speared me with that beautiful smile. “Why don’t you get some rest?”

  I really didn’t want him to go, especially since whatever had just gone down still felt unresolved. There were a dozen threads I needed to pull at. But on the other hand, how could I trust myself if he stayed here with me? Sure, we’d snuggle, and maybe even doze. But at some point parts of him would be inside parts of me, and it would be bliss. And I would simply lose my mind again.

  This sort of thing was exactly why I never wanted to live with a boy. It ruined my brain and played havoc with the carefully crafted way I’d built my life. My perfect life, where I couldn’t afford anything and drove boyfriends away into the arms of anything with a pulse and a vagina.

  Okay, so I could shoot my own arguments down in seconds. But my objections were clearly sound. Mark had done nothing wrong, really, but the presence of a boy, especially one who was so damn gorgeous, and who wasn’t smelly at all, had wrapped my ovaries around my brain and squeezed out all cohesive thought. That had to be his fault, right?

  He clunked my door closed behind him and I rolled back down into bed. Despite the niggling discussion with Mark, I could still feel sleep out there, in orbit around my mind. Damn that man and the way he pulled me in opposite directions with such ease. I needed sleep, but now the doubts he’d raised were slicing through the euphoria he’d awoken within me. It had me so unbalanced I wondered if the house was tilted.

  For a few minutes my brain played chicken, but eventually the heady elixir of orgasm worked its magic on me and I drifted off to sleep.

  15

  It took me a few seconds of scanning my room to come to grips with the world. The sun had shifted considerably, and society as I knew it had ended.

  I’d slept with Mark.

  It took a moment longer for that to truly register. Finally, it had happened. I’d had sex with that gorgeous, honorable, annoying, irresistible man. Of course, ‘finally’ was a completely relative term since we’d only been living together a matter of weeks. Even so, it was impossible to deny the connection. It was as if some kind of link was growing between us. Invisible, intangible. Irrefutable. Like a root system, growing below the surface. Shallow now, but getting deeper every minute. And somehow, it even seemed to stretch back through time. It felt like we’d known each other for months, or even years.

  Rolling up into a sitting position, I listened closely to my house. A little bit of creaking and thudding, like when the sun heats the roof, but otherwise it seemed silent. Of course, that didn’t mean Mark wasn’t there, walking around on his NASA-designed stealth feet. Hell, for all I knew he could be in the living room dancing the rumba and I wouldn’t hear him.

  But call it assumption, or intuition, for some reason I absolutely knew he wasn’t there. The fullness that seemed to radiate from every brick of the house when he was home just wasn’t there. Even when we were both sleeping there was a thickness to the air, and a gentle buzz inside my belly. None of that was happening.

  It was probably for the best, anyway. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him yet. Pulling off my now-crumpled work clothes, I slipped into my usual yoga pants and crop top for around the house. I crept out to the kitchen, just in case I’d been wrong and he was waiting in ambush.

  Standing still beside the fridge, I listened again and realized how rare it was for me to be home alone during daylight hours on a weekday. There was a rhythm to weekends and I was used to those. Being home alone on a Saturday was so common for me it bordered on cliché. But there was always some kind of activity in the neighborhood. Lawns being mowed, meat being charred, kids being scolded. It was mid-afternoon, and almost nothing was happening. The silence became cloying, like a mailman’s hand around my throat.

  With a shake of my head I dismissed those thoughts. Screw Patrick and his petulant behavior. He was not going to ruin this day for me any more than he already had.

  I poured a bowl of cereal and shoveled it down, remembering only as I ate it that I’d slept through lunch. That explained why I was so loopy. I was starving.

  As I washed out my bowl I noticed the cup upside down on the drying rack. It was nothing, of course. That was simply Mark’s way, and I shouldn’t let the fact it was completely and utterly unacceptable bother me. The trouble was that it became a symbol to me of how different we were. Sure, our bodies worked some crazy voodoo together in the bedroom. But that wasn’t something I could build an entire relationship on. After all, I’m not a smelly boy.

  Oh, hell. What on Earth were we going to do now? We could pretend with all our hearts and souls nothing had changed between us. We could make believe that magical sex had meant nothing. But it couldn’t be undone. Until the moment I died, I knew I’d never forget how euphoric it was making love to Mark. I considered myself a mature and organized woman, but I was a bundle of nerves and regret. I was quite simply scared that every time I saw him from now on I would fall to my knees and beg for more. And after my history with Cameron, and others, there was no way I could open myself up like that. To be so completely vulnerable to any guy. Not even one as special as Mark. The thought of it was an icicle to the brain.

  But that was exactly what I needed. I could slink back to my room and stay there for the rest of the decade. The idea was disturbingly attractive, but it wouldn’t work. The best way to be the mature and organized woman I aspired to be was to tackle this thing head on. Ignoring the situation, or glossing right over it, would simply let it turn toxic and grow unchecked until it was big enough to eat Tokyo.

  Okay, fine, so Mark and I had sex. Okay, fine, it was far and away the best sex I’d ever had, and I couldn’t see a single possibility of ever getting such knee-liquidizing orgasms from anyone ever again. So what? The sooner we got together and laughed about it, the sooner we could go back to just being a couple of people who happened to live together in the house where they’d found incomparable bliss in each other’s arms and other bits. Step away from the sexual tension, people. Nothing to see here.

  With my newfound, and totally convincing, determination not to let it all turn into a ball of twine in my head, I picked up my book and perched myself on the sofa. It was the perfect position to radiate nonchalance when Mark came back from wherever he’d gone.

  In the hour or more that I’d been awake again, that had become the most telling question. I’d sat there and run the gauntlet from hating him to calming down to please come here and make babies with me forever. Plus a hundred other stops in-between on the crazy train. And the self-centered lummox still had the temerity to not be in the house with me. Where had he gone? Ever since he’d moved in his time had all been spent at work, or at home. The only other places he’d gone had been with…oh, hell no. Gabrielle? He wouldn’t. Would he?

  Dammit, of course he would. He’s a man, and I’d already seen what that meant. Plus he’d had a bit of a pout about me supposedly shutting him out. Guys rarely needed much of a push to accidentally fall into some strategically placed girly parts. Look at how many times he’d dropped everything he was doing, at a moment’s notice, just to toddle off and do her ladyship’s bidding?

  Oh, god, he’d even been on the phone to that bitch
when Patrick went all huggy around my throat. I slapped my thigh, wishing it was Mark’s face. Why the hell did I ever let myself think anything good could come from a relationship with a man? I was going to have to switch teams now. And every lesbian I knew was even messier than Mark.

  “You see what you’ve resigned me to, you thoughtless cretin?” I glanced over my shoulder, checking to see if he was around. He’d surprised me so many times already it had become second nature to check.

  In my fresh burst of anger I lost my head, slamming my book down on the side table. But only after carefully ensuring the bookmark was right in against the spine and protruding no more than six millimeters. And then stormed off to my room.

  I found myself hoping he stayed the night with that vacuous whore. There was no way I could face him now. The bastard.

  16

  My wishes once again came to nothing, with Captain Wallbumper arriving home a few hours later. Having a sleep in the afternoon meant I hadn’t managed to drift off at all. Although with the adrenaline and hurt rushing around my bloodstream it was doubtful I’d sleep for a week.

  The moment he pushed the front door closed I checked my bedside clock. It was 9:14, which meant he’d been gone a minimum of five hours. In all that time spent alone, it had been impossible to maintain the rage. There was a thread of anger still twirling through all my thoughts, but it kept getting knotted around other emotions. Worry for his safety, fear that Patrick might come knocking, determination to get past that one stupid—but glorious—mistake.

  Despite the dirty, angry movies playing in my head about what Mark and Gabrielle must have been doing, I still couldn’t shake the belief that he was at heart an honorable man. So it really made sense I should at least give him a chance. Okay, it was the chance to confess to me himself that he was a lying, cheating bastard, rather than hiding behind lies and tapping my curvy ass whenever that woman was unavailable. But I couldn’t invest myself in him when I couldn’t trust him.