The Wisest Fool mog-4

by Nigel Tranter

  There were other reasons for the King's good humour, on his fine throne in the choir of the magnificent St George's Chapel. The Duke of Wurtemburg, a huge and coarse, red-faced German, was the first foreign royalty to visit the English Court on a tour of Europe since the accession, and James found his bibulous, bawdy company much to his taste. He also must have the Garter; King Christian of Denmark, Anne's brother, was to have it too, but in absentia. The Earl of Pembroke, who had also been imprisoned by Elizabeth-but for getting her Maid of Honour and favourite Mary Fitton with child, not rebellion-was the fourth knight Then there was Vicky Stewart, who certainly did not deserve the honour, but as the only duke in two kingdoms could hardly be denied it Finally, there was Henry himself, on the young side perhaps but as heir to the throne not to be outshone by his cousin Vicky.

  The King, Wurtemburg and Lennox had been hunting in Windsor Great Park from 5.30 that morning-an hour far too early for Southampton who required his beauty-sleep-and had killed no fewer than seventeen fine bucks-a further source of congratulation. James and the German had been drinking steadily in consequence and celebration, since returning, and were now both in excellent trim for services of praise, thanksgiving and initiation, Wurtemburg indeed at the singing stage, joining in lustily with the Dean of Windsor's chants and intonations-and not only in the responses-while his host, eye-catching in stuffed cloth-of-gold, scarlet and purple, slapped his padded thigh and hooted, in sheer and hospitable delight The colourful but slightly stodgy ceremony had never gone so merrily before.

  James was particularly pleased with young Henry Frederick's manly behaviour and appearance-even though his Garter robes and feathered bonnet were on the large side, there having been insufficient time for proper measurements and fittings. He made his bows to the high altar, under the enormous stained glass window which filled the entire eastern gable-end of St George's Chapel, with the greatest dignity-sufficiently for the King to cry out in ringing tones for all concerned to note the fact. At his side, Anne did not know whether to look proud of her son or ashamed of her husband.

  The music played by the company of mixed musicians was the King's own addition to the programme, and he felt that it livened things up nicely. James was not really musical, but he could appreciate a well-going rhythm, something with a good beat to it, to which he could thump in time. Beating time here was difficult, the gold ferrule of his stick tending to slither on the tesselated marble flooring, and the skreik when that happened set the teeth on edge. The choir of singing boys' contribution was a poor second-and all the priestly yowlings were, of course, a bore.

  The procession thereafter, with all the existing Garter knights leaving their splendid heraldic stalls to join their five new colleagues in parade after the hobbling Sovereign of the Order, was perhaps the best of it, with the musicians playing a lively tune, and Wiirtemburg all but dancing, with rousing hoch-hochs. Not all entered so enthusiastically into the spirit of the thing, but such as could do so declared it the most interesting Investiture they had ever attended.

  Unfortunately a good day was spoiled for the King at the end of it when, after the great banquet in St George's Hall, James settled down to some hard dririking, with a selection of his entourage- nearly all Scots-with Wurtemburg already under the table and snoring. The Queen and her ladies retired-and not only her ladies. Quite a number of the men, who knew themselves to be unable or unwilling to keep up with their liege lord's thirst, elected to go with her, including two of the new Knights Garter, Lennox and Southampton. James had been disappointed when the latter asked to be excused, but the young man had clearly already more wine in him that he could comfortably carry; besides, there were plenty of young but hardened topers left available-it seemed to be a fact that the Scots were more seasoned to strong drink than were their southern fellow-subjects. John Ramsay was only too glad to take Southampton's place at the King's side, with James Hay eager to replace him should his capacity fail.

  In the Queen's palatial withdrawing-room there was soft music, sweetmeats and dalliance for those not yet ready for bed. Here a suddenly and totally different atmosphere prevailed, feminine, lightsome, though far from innocent. Laughter tinkled instead of hooted, wit became delicate rather than ponderous-although no less spicy-and Anne proceeded to demonstrate that England might well be going to have an alternative Court to the King's.

  Oddly enough, it was Anne herself who precipitated the trouble. Undoubtedly, although she pretended to ignore, or at least put up with her husband's fondness for good-looking young men, in fact she resented it fiercely. The latest addition to the string hardly commended himself to her. When she saw Harry Wriothesley, Lord Southampton, paying elaborate attentions to Alison Primrose, she rallied him shrewdly-to George Heriot's entire satisfaction. "Ha-spare my little Scots innocent, my lord," she called, above the liquid notes of a lute. "I vow you are mighty catholic in your affections! Have you not had sufficient for one night?"

  "Could I ever have sufficient of so great beauty, wit and kindness, Majesty?" the other returned, nothing abashed if slightly thick in speech.

  "With your capacity for, h'm, variety, sirrah, perhaps not. But I must needs watch for my poor lambs of Maids-in-Waiting, since I understand that you have an especial weakness for such!"

  A titter of amusement went round the great chamber, at least from the English courtiers-for Southampton had got two of Elizabeth's Maids-of-Honour into trouble, and the old Queen had forced him to marry the second one. The man had the grace to deepen his flush.

  "In Your Highness's presence, all other women are safe from Harry Wriothesley," he gave back boldly, nevertheless.

  The Queen's eyes narrowed, since that might be interpreted in two ways, in the circumstances. "In that case, my lord, it behoves me to keep good watch on you, does it not? I shall ask my good friend Geordie Heriot, there, to maintain an eye on you. He is good at that-and moreover has an interest in the matter of Mistress Alison, I think!"

  That retiring man gulped in surprise and some confusion-first at thus being unexpectedly singled out and brought into the discussion, and secondly at the Queen's casual linking of his name with that of the Primrose girl, and the roguish glance that went with it. He coughed, embarrassed, bowed briefly and said nothing. Alison laughed cheerfully.

  The new Knight of the Garter did not so much as spare a glance for Heriot Goldsmiths and money-lenders only entered his world within very clearly defined limits. "You must take your due precautions, Madam," he said easily. "It will but make the chase the more to my taste!"

  "Take care then, sir, lest my precautions follow those of Her late Majesty-who clapped you in the Tower, did she not?"

  Southampton forbore to smile at that. "Such would require His Majesty's decision-and he has proved that he thinks better of me, has he not?" That was quick, almost sharp. "His Majesty knows his true friends." "And you are one of these, my lord?" "I proved it, with my lord of Essex. And others." "Ah, yes. But my lord of Essex is dead. And the others-where are they?"

  "Not here, to be sure." Quite noticeably, suddenly, the atmosphere of idle banter had changed for something more serious. Southampton looked around the company, and his thin mouth turned down at the corners. "I see none here-or in the hall back there-who elected to aid King James then!"

  As some quick breaths were indrawn, Heriot exchanged glances with Lennox, these two recognising all too clearly that this was now verging on dangerous politics, certainly not to be advised. The Duke took a step forward, seeking to catch the Queen's eye.

  But Anne, amongst her many virtues, counted neither tact nor great forbearance, and once embarked on a course she was hard to stop.

  "Who are these good friends, my lord?" she pressed. "And if they exist, indeed, why did they achieve so little. Essex's attempt came to nothing."

  "There were not a few. And in high positions. But we were betrayed. The Cecils, Coke…"

  Lennox interrupted. "My lord-let us have no talk of politics and statecraft here. In the Que
en's drawing-room." "Her Majesty asked me, my lord Duke."

  Anne bit her lip, annoyed at the implied rebuke. "I but wished to know why so many great men, as they say, did so little. At the time of the Essex rebellion."

  "And I say that if Her late Majesty made a party against the friends of Essex, of course they were bound to submit Your Majesty may question their zeal. But I say, none of then private enemies durst have expressed themselves so!" That rather incoherent declaration came out in a rush, as the speaker glared round him defiantly.

  At the gasps of offence by the Queen's ladies, and others, a new voice spoke up, and in no pacifying tone. "Did you look at me, my lord?"

  It was the Lord Grey de Wilton, a somewhat older man, prominent in the Cecil-Hatton-Coke faction which had for so long dominated England in Elizabeth's name, violent opponents of Essex the fallen favourite. "If the cap fits, wear it, Grey!"

  "You are saying that honest men dared not to accuse traitors? That we sheltered behind Her late and glorious Majesty?"

  "If you so wish to interpret it" Southampton had some difficulty with that word interpret "But I warn you-watch your words, sirrah!" "I give you the he in your teeth, d'you hear!"

  "Gentlemen! My lords!" Lennox cried. 'This is outrage! A shame-bickering in the Queen's presence. Have done. Seek Her Majesty's pardon."

  "This time-server called me a traitor, in the Queen's presence!" Southampton shouted, pointing angrily. "Me-after two years in the Tower for King James!"

  "Who do you name time-server, man? There were Greys de Wilton serving England when Wriothesleys were herding sheep for better men than they!"

  "God damn you, Grey!" Southampton clapped his hand down to where his sword should have hung-but one of James's first commands to his Court was that, as in Scotland, no man went armed in the royal presence or establishments, save only the Captain of the Guard and the Duke of Lennox.

  Grey's own hand groped for a weapon-for he, like his enemy, was somewhat under the influence of drink. Glaring, they approached each other like fighting-cocks. "My lords!" Anne protested. "Remember where you are." One of the ladies screamed, but only slightly.

  The two protagonists heard nothing, saw nothing but each other and mutual hate. Gone was the veneer of the fine and imperturbable English gentlemen, masters of themselves and all else. Fists were clenched for want of better weapons.

  Lennox, Heriot and other men rushed in to keep them apart, upsetting certain furniture in the process. Ladies twittered and cried out-though by no means all of them, the Primrose girl for instance watching in wide-eyed pleasurable anticipation.

  Anne was suddenly very angry. Scenes she did not greatly mind and was quite used to; but to have her royal commands completely ignored thus was not to be tolerated. She clapped hands together.

  "Vicky!" she ordered. "Send for the Guard. These men to be put in ward. The Guard, I say!" There was a shocked silence.

  "Er… Your Grace! Scarce the Guard!" Lennox said, in some agitation. "These lords are greatly at fault. They are drink-taken. I will escort them to their quarters…" "I said the Guard, my lord Duke. At once."

  Bowing, Ludovick went to the door, and brought in two of the scarlet-clad and halberded Yeomen on duty there. "Escort these lords to their quarters," he directed.

  "Under ward!" the Queen snapped. And as two peers of the realm were marched off, one only that day appointed to the highest honour in the land, she turned her back on them and changed tone, expression and carriage. "Hetty, now we are quit of these unmannerly oafs, you and Lucy shall sing us a duet. The ballad Master Jonson taught us at Althorp. Primrose-you will accompany them on the virginal."

  As held breaths were released and the illusion of normality returned to the withdrawing-room, Lennox moved over to Heriot's side. He sighed. "We could have done without that, Geordie, I think" he said quietly.

  "All of it," the other nodded. "I fear the King will not be pleased."

  "Aye. Anne has got the bit between her teeth! But… James can hobble her. This was folly."

  They had not long to wait. The tuneful tinkling ballad was only half finished when the room's double doors were thrown abruptly open by two more of the Yeomen of the Guard, one of whom thumped loudly on the floor with his halberd-staff. "Silence for the King's gracious Majesty!" he cried.

  James came stamping in with stick much in evidence, Mar, Ramsay, Pembroke and others at his back. He was glowering fiercely.

  "Here's a fine pickle o' herrings!" he spluttered wetly, thickly, into the sudden hush. "A right stramash! What's this I hear- heh? Answer me-what's this, a God's name? What do I hear?"

  "You Majesty perhaps did not hear my ladies singing!" the Queen said, head high. "Else I scarce believe you would interrupt so!"

  The monarch ignored that. "You, Annie-I'll hae a word wi' you. Aye, I will. Clear the room."

  A notable confusion followed, as men and women eddied to and fro, most only too anxious to get away but others reluctant. The Yeomen were in some doubts as to whom should be shepherded out of this illustrious throng, hesitant to press the loftiest James stamped up and down, poking at all and sundry impatiently.

  At length all were gone save one or two of the Queen's ladies, Lennox, Mar and Pembroke. George Heriot was just slipping through the door when a thick voice halted him.

  "No' you, Geordie Heriot. You bide here. I've a flea for your lug, too! Aye and you too, Vicky Stewart The rest-begone!" "Hetty-you will stay with me I" the Queen declared clearly.

  Recognising possible impasse, James side-stepped skilfully. "Aye, Cousin Hetty-you bide too. Your mistress maybe will need your services! Now-steik that door."

  Mar was the last out, making a long face of it, and James was left with his wife, two cousins and his jeweller.

  "Aye, well," hei said, pointing his stick at Anne. "Did you, or did you no' put Harry Wriothesley under arrest-like I'm told? Wi' yon Grey? And march them off under guard like, like a pair o' cut-purses I"

  "I did. And would do so again. They had words, all but came to blows, in my presence."

  "You'll no' do so again-d'you hear, woman? I'll no' have it. I dinna care if they piss themsel's in your presence-you'll no' do the likes o' yon! Here's me fair flogging mysel' to keep the peace between my Scots and English lords, and you put two peers o' England in ward on a woman's whim! Before all. One o' whom I've only this day made a Knight o' the Garter I"

  'They were half drunk. Would you have your wife insulted in her own drawing-room by boors, English peers or none?"

  "Guidsakes, you'll no' ca' Harry Wriothesley a drunken boor, woman! You will not He's a good laddie, and I like him fine." "He is a trouble-maker and a lecher and a, a…" She swallowed the fatal word. "You know, very well what else he is! But he will not run free with his ill manners in my presence-he or any other."

  "What folk may or may not do at my Court is my concern, no' yours-and I'd hae you mind it! Aye, mind it well-frae now on. I've obsairved a right unruly and rebellious spirit in you, Annie, since you cam frae Scotland. Maist unsuitable. And for that I'm no' leaving you guiltless, Vicky. I am not. You've been right soft wi' her, I can see. Given in. No' minded my express wishes and instructions. I am right displeased wi' you."

  "I am a subject, She, and cannot constrain the Queen-even if I would."

  "You had my royal powers in Scotland as Viceroy. What d'you think I gave you them for? No' to run after Annie like a lap-dog, to let her spend my siller like burn-water, to parade hersel' shamelessly through the land like some Roman concubine!" "She…!"

  "James, reserve you ill humours and ill tongue for me, in private, if you please! Spare Vicky your unworthy strictures. He is blameless of any guilt. He came to my aid when I was direly ill-as you, my husband, should have done! And, with Master Heriot’s help, saved me, and you, from a most evil plot…"

  "Tush, woman-havers! There was no plot. Just that lassie Gray's imaginings. It was a' a nonsense. I dinna trust her faither, mind-but this ploy was just blethers frae the sta
rt. Yon Mary Gray should ha' had mah sense. Aye, and so should you. Though… maybe you were using this o' a plot for your ain bit ends, eh? Was that it? Mah plots than one? "

  "I do not know what you mean, James. Can it be that you, She, are as drink-taken as your two friends?"

  "Na, na-my heid's fine and clear, lassie. You'll hae to do better than that! I'm no' sae blate, mind, as maybe I seem-and I hear tell o' maist o' what goes on in Scotland, for a' I'm no' there."

  "But inaccurately, it seems. Since you think there was no plot to make our son King of Scots in your room If the rest you hear is like…"

  "Johnnie Mar told me the rights o' that As none should ken better, since he held the laddie."

  "Mar! That snake in the grass! That red churl! You believe him before you own wife! Aye, and your cousin here…"